Crash

   Stress is dumb. To even say that I've been stressed out would be an understatement.
Of course, with everything that's awesome comes the not-so-awesome parts, and right now my life is full of that.

I thought that stress would be isolated to my work, but no. My stupidity landed me in another pit of lamentation that could've so easily been avoided-- but no. I'm just stupid. One would think that after 2 semesters of college I'd understand how it all works; these degree things. Turns out, I didn't have a fucking clue, and under a completely different impression. Thankfully, the classes I took were not in vain, and went towards the billions of general ed classes that I have to take in addition to the pre-requisites in order to get into the program I want.
So for the next 900 semesters... I have to get those general ed classes out of the way. And maybe when I'm 72, I'll finally get into the program.. to embalm myself with my tears.

Today was the first day of classes, and being the dumbass that I am, mistakenly, last night I dropped one of my classes that I needed to get into another one (same class, earlier in the day) so that I wouldn't have a 7 hour time gap between classes. That gap was reserved for another class that I wanted, but it filled up because I read my registration appointment wrong, and missed my deadline, and didn't get in. So... I see this other class that's clickable still, and doesn't have a 'C' next to it (closed), but it wouldn't let me add it to my classes, because it was a duplicate course.

SO I DROPPED MY CLASS FOR THAT ONE, ONLY TO BE TOLD IT WAS FULL, AND CLOSED.

I tried to get back into my original class, but it was full. So, I basically fucked myself over and have to wait until next semester to take it. I saw that same course at Fullerton and signed up for that one, but I was on a waiting list, and when I got to Fullerton, the residential area with tons of cars and no parking and a billion students stressed me out and I came home.

Today I saw the counselor for my division; she gave me the impression that she either hated her job or didn't get her lunch break yet. I was already a nervous wreck going in to talk to her, and she treated me like.... idek. The whole conversation was off putting and intimidating. But I got the info I needed to try to graduate before I die. so. It was worth it. So much for that.

I just can't believe I'm only taking one class this semester. It kills me. It's so much wasted time and gas over something so stupid. but I've already accepted that I'm going to be knocking out gen ed courses for the next 18 years so.... whatever. I guess. sigh.
Things would be so much easier if I was a full time student and didn't have to worry about work.

Work.

ugh.

I want to talk about it, but I can't. because I'm sure some snitch will show someone what was written and get me fired. God forbid I express my concerns about my work environment on my own fucking site.

Aside from all that... Everything else is fine. I can pay my bills and rent, so ... that's what matters, right? I'm independent. have a job, a car, support myself, and... yeah.
awesome. i'm an adult. doing things adults should be doing.

fyi, if you're not going to school and you're bumming off your parents you're kind of a disgrace.
there's already a taboo for dudes that live w/ their parents after a certain age, but this should apply to everybody. or don't know how to drive and you're a grown ass person. Maybe you lost your car, but at least you know how to fucking drive

just pisses me off. I have a vicious respect for people who juggle all kinds of shit in their life in hopes of eventually finding serenity. and then I've met and known of people who just bum off others, who are in their mid or late 20's, 30's even, and don't do jack shit all day. Can't get around anywhere by themselves or do anything without asking their parents for money. Call it envy, I'd love to mooch off someone and be a lazy ass for the rest of my life... I think everybody would, but I also have a sense of pride that my stubbornness won't let me live down.

ugh.


I'm venting and rambling.
I don't really want anyone to talk to, I just needed to get this out. Everything is irritating me.

I forgot to get gas on the way home.
Calling corporate irritates me.
This level I'm stuck on in The Evil Within irritates me.
Being made to leave my store irritates me.
My class this semester almost put me to sleep.... this irritates me.
The dishes in the sink that have been there for a month after Bo cleaned the whole fucking kitchen by himself irritate me.



--- but...
Yesterday, two special ladies came over to pick me up to grab dinner at Hooters!

 Judy and Alexis.

Judy has made another appearance here on a previous entry :D

It was just what I needed after my last day. They even got me a little card. I'm going to miss them, and everyone there so much. It was so incredibly sweet for them to set this up. Pulled at my heart strings and was really touching. Thank you ladies. You don't know how moving this was for me. You made me feel like my presence there mattered. And I'll miss you both so much!

 I guess I can post this without worrying that someone will report me because I'm no longer their supervisor, ha. What a dumb policy. As if you don't create bonds with the people you work with... yeah. right.
"You can't be their friend, you're their boss"

sure yeah ok.

And on my last day, Judy got me this little gift that blew me away:

I KNOW RIGHT?!(say hi to Spike)
For those who don't know....

das me. 

yuh.

The most pain in the ass cosupray ever. YOU'D THINK IT WOULDN'T BE, REALLY, RIGHT?

No, it is.

So yeah, she got me le Bride and of course... I got emotional and almost cried and hugs and yeah. 

This was at work, lol. In front of everyone. I kinda wanted to rub it in peoples' face like HAH. YEAH. YOU'RE MAKING ME LEAVE BUT EVERYONE HERE LOVES ME, HMPH.

That's not a very nice thing to do but that's how I felt, lol. 

Eventually, we're all gonna go to the museum of death (again) because we bonded over our fascination of serial killers. If I could bake not half-assed, I'd totally make cupcakes with sliced marzipan dicks and gore and share them with those two. We could discuss all of the things, like how abusive/neglectful parents create and breed pedophiles, sociopaths, and murderers over delicious entrail cuppicakes and tea, and it would be marvelous. teehee! ^_^

ooh, now I'm hungry.

and now I'm not feeling as stressed. yay!

Impact

  My friend Jason wins the random award. 

Didn't even know there was a random award, but there is. He texts me last week:

I can't say no to him and I feel he knows this and is abusing it.
Evil, evil man.

So, I couldn't say no, and got dressed to head out there. It was far, lol.
I don't really have anything princessy whatsoever. but he said to go w/ one of my dresses and to just be myself. So I wore this long flow-y dress and used a shaw to make a hood. Lots of princesses wear hoods, right? Sure. Hello, Jasmine?

When I got there, it turned out to be this huge mansion the production was renting out. I thought it was gonna be this dumpy little thing or a music video but... yeah. it wasn't, lol. waivers, etc. Was cool though, they had cake. :D
Eventually though, wardrobe and make up departments opted for me to wear something entirely different. I changed into this blue ball gown, let my locks down but tied back so they weren't as noticeable, and had my make-up redone entirely. Once I was done w/ my dress, they sent me over to make up where I was pleasantly surprised to see Jason's lady makin everyone pretty!
Jason's got dat azn fever too.

 She wouldn't stay still. lol

My eyebrows and lips and face was done entirely.

She used all kinds of layers that I never bother with, and it made my face look glazed over and flawless... it was weird. lol but it looked cool. I have to wonder how many girls use that many layers of make up on their face.

 She apparently also does freelance, which I never knew

 When she was done we went back downstairs to the waiting area to find all the other extras and Jason sitting in a corner. I call him to get his attention and he gives me a derpy grin lol

 Geoff was also there, thank goodness. Now I had someone to make ugly faces

 Jason's lady came down later to work on a beard weft. Apparently she does all that shit too! Makes wigs and wefts and hair thingies and whatnots.

 Suddenly the beard ended up becoming chest hair, and pit hair, and butt hair, and all the hairs. and this was Geoff:

 crotch beard.

I was there for like 5 hours. It was fun. Lots of waiting around, and eating cake. I'm thankful that Jason invited me :) 

Once they wrapped our part the extras went back upstairs to change, but we were stuck up there until they wrapped the next scene they were shooting. 

I guess my rogue princess attire didn't make the cut, but I got some compliments on my outfit anyway! Yay!

When I got home I had a glamor shoot in my bedroom.

But Cynthia, what's this being filmed for?
Well, readers. LET ME TELL YOU.

no, here just watch this:

   

Hercules and Drusilla are gonna be in it.

Jason wrote all the songs!

Soooo, yeah. It was cool. Fun times :D cake was good.

I wish I could express my feels with some of the things going on in my life, but I won't, at least not for now. What I can tell is that my coworker brought me a bouquet of flowers one night because I was having a bad day. She saw me come in for my shift earlier, and everything was a wreck, and I just died inside because of how much was on my shoulders, coupled with other things. I almost cried when she handed these to me. After work I brought them over to Fett's place and left them there as there was no room at my place. They survived 3 days! haha, but they were very lovely. Thank you, Judy. You made my day so much better :)

 Also, it had been like years since I had hamburger helper, and I got the enchilada one, and prepared it. but on the box it said I could add a twist and add some black beans to it, and I was like omg that sounds so awesome. but... I didn't have any black beans in my cupboard.
FORTUNATELY, I did have some pinto beans, and added those instead.

it was the greatest thing in the world.
now I'm gonna make it a thing to try all of the hamburger helper thingies. I had forgotten how delicious they were.
yeah, it was that big of a deal.

And... 

Fett took us on a surprise date the other night.

I've been feeling really stressed, and sad. One evening that we were talking on the phone I had zero desire to talk about anything (i know that's normal for me, but it was extra meh).

Was just really bleh and depressed. 

I decided to go to bed early, but couldn't get to sleep. Then later Fett messaged me with something important, and then added as we were saying goodbye that we had reservations at a restaurant the next day at 8pm and to be at his place no later than 7.

I got cute for him and headed over. 

He took us back to the Little Door in Beverly Hills.

 We drink water at upscale restaurants.

Ugh, what did I do to deserve this man.
I would've been happy with waking up next to him, but he went above and beyond... again.

This place is absolutely beautiful. They had lovely exotic music playing and the atmosphere is just... really nice. It's dark, feels like you're outside somewhere far away...

While we were ordering, he ordered the cheese plate without my realizing it. When they brought it out I looked at him like YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH, DON'T YOU?!
It was hxc cheese guys.
There were two different kinds of blue cheese, gouda, brie with apples dressed in vinegar, and there was one more kind of cheese that I couldn't figure out. they were all super hxc real, raw cheese. it was intense, lol. I've never tasted such intense cheese in my life! hahaha
The blue cheese wasn't fucking around. Thankfully the plate came with walnut bread to reset your palate. Kinda the way ginger works with sushi. Everything paired really well, amazingly.
And he also ordered the octopus appetizer for us.

ugh he's so amazing. wish I could hug him right now, but he's gotta work on homework tonight and be up for work in the morning.

Thank you for all that you do, darleeng! 

On Tuesday, Pamela and I went out for lunch to catch up and stuff. I told her that I would take her to Little Tokyo one of these days for her to try Mr. Ramen. She loves ramen now, and I'm excited to show her everything down there!

 Every time I go to Jinya I always get the same thing, lol. Mr. Ramen is the only place where I feel I can experiment and never go wrong.

 Following lunch we went upstairs to Michael's and picked up some thingies. She's gonna learn to knit chainmail, and I have been meaning to pick up some dye for my Leech woman dress. I also got another candle because... you know. I'm only down to two left with this new one I bought =\

 AND I found this guy on ebay for super cheap because one of his hooks were broken. It was a fucking steal. He's rare, and discontinued, and not to mention the object of my desire. So.
^_^ now he and Spike hang out together on my dresser.
Love ya, boo.

AND FINALLY

this.

Like I can't describe how floored I was when this came into my life

I was at work, and one of our regulars messaged me saying that he had something he wanted me to have that's been collecting dust on his shelf. He was aware that my last day at work is Saturday, so he wanted to stop in and drop it off for me.

I was in the backroom doing an inventory count when someone cames back to get me telling me that Ryan was there. I go out to greet him and he holds this up

I squeak SO LOUD and lose my shit in a burst of giggles that I go back into the back room to compose myself and come back out again in disbelief, lol

He's standing there laughing and hands it to me. It's a laser disc set, and also the script with illustrations of the characters. I don't have a player, but it's definitely getting framed. I couldn't believe it. He said he noticed my posts lately about Hellraiser and wanted to give this collector's set a new home, so... tadaa! lol. 

You know in spite of the negative stuff I've been dealing with, a lot of good has also come of it because of other peoples' kindness and generosity, and compassion. So for that I am extremely grateful, and thankful. It makes me feel like my presence there meant something, that I had a bit of an impact on somebody. And I need to remember that more often.

I know that I am a pretty cynical person in general, but I also genuinely enjoy having a positive impact on people, and when they go out of their way for me displaying this, it brings me joy. So...

Thank you, guys. Truly. 

And... on a last note

Judy and another co-worker are treating me to Hooters on Sunday as a goodbye thing. 

Those tater tots are gonna taste awesome with a side of shit talking.

Savory

    Guys. I can't stop eating cheese.
I need help. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if I turned into a wheel of havarti by the time I'm 70... if I don't devour myself first. And like, 2 weeks ago my body had a bad reaction to my consumption of cheese (I had a LOT.. like an entire package of lunch cheese) but now I think my enzymes are back on track. They got their asses handed to them I guess, I don't know.
Havarti is so good.
SPEAKING OF DEVOURING MYSELF

I don't know why but one of my favorite things to talk about when I meet new people is Armin Meiwes. It's a great ice breaker.

"Hi, I'm Cynthia............................ oh that's fun. did you know about the dude who cut off his lovers' penis and ate it with him? yeah, they couldn't chew it much so they had to fry it."

this is the part where people either stop talking to me or are fascinated, hesitate to comes to terms w/ their fascination, and then finally relax and join in on the commentary.

.... Cynthia.. why do you know this?
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU.

Long time ago I saw this super neato film called Feed. The intro was a scene where these detectives break into a house, walked through the kitchen to find a penis frying in a skillet, and find themselves breaking a door down into the upstairs bathroom exposing two men; one standing in the tub, blood everywhere, cascading out of his groin where his penis used to be, and another kneeling before him with a knife and fork, blood and tissue (body, not toiletry) smeared along his grinning face. The two detectives gasp and cover their mouths in horror, to only be scolded by the man in the tub who screamed "I want to be eaten!!!"


That scene stuck with me (because I'm just really weird) and eventually, out of playful curiosity I googled something along the lines of man eats penis. That's when I learned of the man who inspired that scene in the movie: Armin Meiwes.. and his voluntary muse, Bernd Brandes. I studied all there was to know about Meiwes. He had a shitty upbringing (surprise) and became a favorite I guess you could say 'figure' of mine.

Fun Fact: Armin was a total Trekkie.

Sadly, on our trip to the Museum of Death earlier last year I don't recall seeing anything about Meiwes, but I could've simply just missed it. 

So the other day, out of nowhere,

I think I had brought up Meiwes in conversation again, I was inspired to make cute things. Noob Charm things. so I did.

They're cupcakes! ^_^ YUM! They're Meiwes cupcakes because he ate Brandes after puncturing his throat. Brandes was in the bathtub for 3 hours, bleeding, until Meiwes finally came up and killed him. He dismembered him and stored all of the meat in a freezer for like 6 months, and ate it regularly.
See? that's Brandes' bipper, and his innards, and his braaaaaiin, and the one w/ the maggots is a what if scenario had he survived and his missing bipper hole place would've gotten infected! :D

Is this weird?
lol, the whole thing is just so fascinating to me. I wish I could study their minds. Why Meiwes felt the desires he did, and why Brandes was so set on wanting to have his penis bitten off and eaten. He even offered generous amounts of money to prostitutes, but they could never bring themselves to do it. Don't worry... everything was consensual, believe it or not. Brandes sought Meiwes out! yup yup.

Anywho, that's some backstory on these pieces. I will be selling them very soon. They need to be made into charms, and for that to happen I need to wait for my order to arrive. I will be making more, just like these if these do well. But if they don't, it wouldn't surprise me whatsoever.
Fucked up, huh?
Well, it's easier to see things from a different perspective when you detach yourself from your default settings. The one that makes you wanna say "EW, NO WAY" and reject it immediately. It's a defense mechanism-- it's your brain telling you those images are bad, dangerous. Avoid. but if you push through that reflex and ask questions, you'll discover truths, and learn about things that are seldom understood.
but that's just me. I like asking questions. It's hard to me to just take things at face value..
if something happens I want to know about the catalysts, and analyze the timeline. What led to what and why. Not...
this happened... so THIS. and that's IT.
It's NEVER like that. Not the way the world works. I'm sure many would find that ideal and to their benefit..... ahem...  but that's not how it works. because there are people like me who analyze everything and will figure it out. ;)


MOVING ON

 

 New Years celebration!
Spent it with Fetts' family at his paretns' house. Everyone got drunk (including yours truly, but I was probably the least drunk there-- I'm sure of it) except for Fett. We all played Cards Against Humanity until midnight, and then sang karaoke in their living room. That's was a first for me. Liquid courage, they call it.... accurate. Poor Fett.
Thankfully neither one of us had work the following day, so we got to sleep in forevvveerr and it was soooo goooood, lol.


And!
New piercing things!

 I had off on a Saturday, so I was like dang I'm gonna go do stuff! And I did.
Steve's awesome. He's my go-to piercey guy forever.

 Following that I decided to go to Little Tokyo. It had been a long time since I'd visited, so the treat was nice. First thing I did was go to that.... area. W/ the red pillars. and stuff.
STRAIGHT to the bakery.

 Curry chicken steam bun mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
so gooood
And from there I just walked around for a bit, and eventually made my way over to the square to stop in Marukai and grab some snackies.
That's when Sandy and Brian totally snuck up behind me!

 lol it was the most random thing ever. but what a delight to see them! We chatted a bit, and they invited me to join them for din din. :)

 We went w/ Curry House because mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

curry.

 UGH.

IT'S SO GOOD.

And after that we went into the book store, where I picked up two new manga volumes aaaaaand we called it a night. It was good times, we caught up and got to vent a little. Was nice. 

She gets it, lol. She KNOWS. lol she's been there. It was just really cool.

Trying to get OUT of LT however was a fucking disaster.

 No clue what was happening that evening but I was stuck down there for 2 hours. Not even anywhere near the highways. The traffic was SO backed up they had to have 4 lights directed by those... traffic cop people. 1st street, 2nd street, 3rd and 4th street were all closed off. No where to go, no where to turn, just waiting. Couldn't even move forward when the lights turned green, it was awful. I left LT heading for my car at 5:45. Didn't get home til almost 8. 

but I did go home w/ some stuff that makes me happy ^_^ so, it was okay!

 
And in the following week, Fett, our friend Heather, and I went out for dinner at Ramen Jinya.
 Heather is a big horror movie fan, and I'm always trying to convince him (yes him, don't ask) to cosplay as Julia (Hellraiser) because we're both equally HR fan girls, but he woooon't. Instead he's looking for the entire book collection. I wanna help him find it; he said it's called Hellbound, and it has all of the movies in one book. I've seen the individual volumes, but not the version he was talking about. I was telling him how similarly I was looking for the graphic novels, and he suggested going to the Illiad.

 AND THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HEATHER-PATRICE-NON-BO-BEATHER AND I LOVE HIM.

 Fett and I went the next day and SCORE.

Heather was totally right. Thank you, Heather :*

 And then a few days ago, Fett and I were driving around doing errands when... I don't remember why but I started talking about the 5 taste receptors on your tongue. There was one that I couldn't remember, but was explaining how umami is the japanese word for savory or flavorful. and he goes ".... we can go to umami burger if you want" and I was like
    O___O           yes, dear.

mmmpf. it was pretty awesome. 

garlic mayo, are you kidding me!?!? THAT'S MY LIFE.

GARLIC EVERYTHING PLOX.

garlic in my ramen? HOKAY

garlic in my bread? UH, YA

garlic in my butter for my pizza? ffffffffffffffffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFYES.

aaaahh I love garlic

garlic and cilantro.

oh god, cilantro. just... a respirator. full of garlic and cilantro. in my face.

agh.

Even Meiwes used garlic to season the penis. black pepper, salt... 

not even kidding.

cooking condiments and spices are so wonderful.

#Spanish

 is everyone sufficiently confused about their appetite right now?

Yule

   Another year gone by.. this can mean so many things. For many of us it's recalling all the resolutions we promised ourselves last year and failed at, and then making new ones in spite of those old ones, and then abandoning them in March.
This also means continuously writing 2014 on everything and then damning yourself for remembering your error 2 seconds after lifting your pen off the paper.

For me it means absolutely nothing, except maybe a new piercing.
However, the Holidays meant seeing family again, and revisiting the lands in the east-- where traffic laws are respected and there's jack shit to do so it's always quiet and really chill; Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

Despite the assumed warm and generous undertones of the holidays, it's definitely not my favorite time of the year. It used to be... when I was little and had zero understanding of budgeting finances and bills. If I wanted that veterinary Barbie playset... it'd magically happen. If I wanted my dad to have that neat tool set (gender roles and expectations, heyo!), no problem. He'd get it, magically. But.. that magic has been diminished by a swift roundhouse reality kick. Also, adhering to society's expectations of what is acceptable as "generous" during that time of the year completely grosses me out.

 BUT... sometimes you love people or something and it clouds your judgement and then you find yourself getting them things in spite of your cynicism.

SO BEFORE I LEFT TO GO SEE THE FAAAAAM.....

Fett and I got together at his place and exchanged gifts. :B

 He couldn't go without the Frozen wrapping paper...

 Here's one of the things I got him.
Fett is someone who buys himself anything he needs, which makes him hard to shop for because anything practical is out the window. Thankfully, he enjoys impractical things by nature, lol
like this;
It's, as you can see, The Bounty Hunter Code. Basically a really cool book, encased in a fancy case that opens electronically when you insert your credit card into the slot, or anything similarly shaped. It makes cool Star Wars-y noises. Comes w/ a dart replica, other 'documents' and another book written by another bounty hunter. Inside the code are notes written by Boba, Han, Greedo, and other characters in the trade. It's neat. He really liked it.
His other gifts were a leather bound book with papyrus pages for him to doodle and write in, and a Halo keychain of Cortana's hologram chip. Aaaaaalll of the impractical things! lol

 And here are some of the things he got me!

 I love my geeky... and I also love my horror-y... Best plushies ever.

The turrent has a sensor and says things from the game! And the Alien plushie sticks its tongue out when you push it's belly ^_^ so cyyyooooot

 Nailed it.

Like, look at it.

Look.

are you seeing that?

YEAH.

 and finally... he got me VS panties.

THE MYTH IS REAL.

Cynthia, you mean you've never gotten VS stuff from your mans?

That's right, person! In fact, it never even occured to me until I unfortunately saw a tweet about girls just wanting VS stuff and UGGs for xmas from their "bae" 

It was a pleasant surprise. I didn't know how to react, because really... is it for me, or him? ha

Either way.. it's nice ^_^

 Following gift exchange, we went to go watch Big Hero 6, since I hadn't seen it.

It was pretty cute. I cried 3 times.

 The following evening I was to depart from LAX to my home town over night. There were two layovers, both over an hours time, but the airports were dead, and I had material to keep me busy.

 :B

 Before I left, I impulse bought BOI: Rebirth because reasons.

No regrets. It's easier than the original, I feel. but they added lots of cool stuff that the other one didn't, which I'm totes enjoying. AND MORE CUTE GROSS THINGS YAY :D

 My mom, Pamela and her daughters Alisha and Ingrid all came to come get me at the airport.

We went to lunch, where Ingrid attempted to teach Alisha how to properly utilize chopsticks. 

 It was really cute to watch.

 When I got home I saw my dad, and he immediately brought me over to the shed where all the puppies are. Which is where I met T-Rex.. you'll meet her soon.

aaaaaand later we went to go see Dumb and Dumber To. 

(the second one, for those of you who take phonetics literally)

 T-Rex, one of 4, was named as such because she hops around on her back legs due to her two front legs never having developed fully. She has two little stubs, and she's so cute. and no part of me will deny that she is the favorite. It's the truest truth there ever was. She's absolutely the favorite.

The other 3 are Oso (bear in Spanish), Oreo for her pattern, and Chikis (CHEE•keyz). They were all adopted off this dude who couldn't care for them anymore. My dad coddles them like you wouldn't believe.

 We spent Christmas eve at Pamela's. I passed out for an hour and a half... felt horrible for it buuuuuttt... I hadn't slept since the previous night before my flight aaaaaaand.... I was dying.

Was cool though. There was food, and food. And hot chocolate. and Panettone.

mmmmmmmmm panettone.

For Xmas I received mostly money, which was great because that meant rent was paid.

:D

 The following day I spent mostly in my old attic, foraging through old crates full of my old shit.

The memories were crazy.

 guys.

REMEMBER THESE? 

Not sure what happened to the ears buuuutt... 

:DD

5 crates full of my old stuff.

Prepare yourself for photos of some of the crap I found in them.

 I made this doll when I was in like... 7th grade, lol. I remember watching Mulan, and when the Hans stormed the village and killed everyone, there was a doll left behind that was the cutest doll ever, and I wanted her so bad. So I made this, lol.

 Dolls and beanie babies galore.

 and Pokemon.

 and old drawings.

 When I saw the trailer to The Fellowship I became obsessed with Gollum.

 This was one of John Jude Palencar's art off of one of Lovecrafts' books. I thought it was so cool, and tried to draw it from memory

ahhh freshman year.

 Mhm.

I was a hxc Orgy fan girl. It was disgusting. Fan girls are insane. 

I know this. Thankfully, Orgy is NOTHING like what it used to be back in early 2k, and broke my heart, and ... I got over them. Also, Jay Gordon wears those ugly oversized baseball caps and makes dubstep now. 

ew.

 Miss Panda :)

 I had one party in high school. 

This was back when Hot Topic sold shit that mattered, like collars, cool platforms, vinyl, bondage pants, bondage cuffs and everything ultra goth and punk.

 And my (real) friends were cool in the weirdest ways.

going through the albums was kinda emotional.

 OH HI, T-REX :D

 her little stubbbbiiiieeeeessss

Even though my trip was short lived it was nice being home again. Mom's food was delicious...

this is the part where I say do not take your parents' cooking for granted. If you still live with them... enjoy and savor every moment of it, because it's all over when you live on your own. Nothing will come close to mom's cooking, and you'll miss it terribly. 

(that is unless you date someone whos' moms' nationality is similar to yours and she cooks similarly to how your mom cooks)

Thanks to Josh, I got home safe and sound :)

A few days later, my housemates were hosting a Yule Feast thingie. I'm dumb and never check my facebook invites, so when I got home from work there were a billion people in the kitchen with tons of food being warmed up and everyone in armor taking stuff to the back yard.

 It was a huge potlock celebratey thing.

 Guys, it's Trent and his hair.

Hay Trent's hair.

 I tried to get a good shot of Thor but he kept laughing, ugh.

 STAHP

DAT

LAUGHIN'

 KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YA

CAN'T

STAHP

LAUGHIN'

okay, sorry.

(you totally read it in his voice, didn't you?)

 There was a fire pit and it made me happy because yay burning things and warmth and eeeeee ^_^ 

Fire mage.

At the end of the night, I don't remember exactly what I did. Probably went to bed and got up for work the next day.
Either way, Christmas was good times.

OH and I got my space heater in the mail last week. Probably the greatest thing I've purchased for myself, but sadly... it's not cold in the house anymore. I swear Southern California had like... 4 days of winter. ugh -_-


Anyway... atm things have been a little stressful. There's stuff going on at work that's been on my mind and am at my wits end over. It's got me down. I'm scared to go to work anymore for fear of making a single mistake. I don't know. We'll see what happens I guess.



Buffy's stunt double had huge boobs.