Believe nothing

     His

   Devon and I are going back to Little Tokyo after our next payday which will be next Friday. Work or not, it's gonna happen. I asked our other co-worker (who Devon had asked prior) if he wanted to go. He said he would. -Either way, we're going back.

This was one of the pieces I did for another co-worker. It's really fucking cute. >_< She also decided to buy the doughnut charm that the chick who blew up on my facebook brought back. I had no idea it was in the locker, lol. Melinda found it and told me, then said she wanted to buy it. Yay! All is not lost :3

lust

UGH you ever get that feeling where you can feel someone watching you intently? I think this person either dislikes me, or envies something, or just are paranoid. I don't know, but fuck. I can feel this person staring daggers into me while I'm working. It's a little bit creepy... =\

is

We didn't end up going to the beach yesterday. I wasn't disappointed. I rather go a little more prepared. Prepared like... a huge umbrella and tons of sunscreen. Or a parasol or some shit. I don't like my skin burning. The idea of my skin cells frying to their deaths because of the sun's rays doesn't appeal to me that much. :( yea.

Also, we have the apartment to ourselves for a couple of days. I'm stoked! That means I can run around all over the place in my piggies and little jammie shorts without a care in the world!

so

COMFIES!!! oh...
For some reason, when I get into the shower and the hot water's running, my skin becomes itchy-- like it wants to die and peel off-- and even more transparent. So I'll scratch it gently to soothe it, and the slightest scratch turns into this. (I wonder if this happens to anyone else?) PIGGIES AND JAMMIE SHORTS

sincere.

Work as usual is fun with the right people. Rot has been super cuddly recently. ^-^
For the first time in months, I got him to come into my work with me to get my weekly stuff on Tuesday. He never comes in! But I think he likes it when everyone is extremely nice and welcoming, where as normally he would just wanna haul ass out the door and not say anything to anyone. Melinda really likes his eyes. haha :3

Yum! ^-^v

This was sort of inspired by a co-worker, but also something I've had in my mind for a long time. 

Me likey squigglies! 

Good boy

His fingertips were poison.

This weekend was informative. I got myself a spider necklace. There are memories in my mind that ache deliciously. Deliciously like squid tentacle jerky and strawberry daifuku. And Ramunè. And Ramen.
My co-worker was like AHMA GOIN TO LITTLE TOKYO TUHDAY
and I was like ARE YOU SRS
and she was like YA WANNA COME
and then I was like HOKAY
and then we went after work.

 I like Devon a lot because she's quiet, awkward, and an even bigger nerd than anyone else I know. And the fact that she was going all the way to Little Tokyo just to buy some manga was like.... fuck yes I'll go with you, are you kidding me right now?

It was probably one of the greatest adventures of ever. At one point, she even said "oh, I was gonna walk down this way because there are less people."

I know. Amazing.

She took us to Mr. Ramen before going off to see the other cute little shops. Fucking love Mr. Ramen.
I think the only other time I've been to LT was with Rotny. It was a guilt trip occasion, made even worse because it rained and the shops closed early. It was a Tuesday. He was miserable and irate. I felt like a burden. Suffice to say that visit sucked.
Also, we took the metro.

While there, she bought her manga, and some snacks at the azn grocery store that I was afraid I'd only find in San Diego. Boy, am I naive! They have my favorite jerky!! The squid tentacle jerky ^-^ And all the daifuku my tiny little hands could moosh before choosing which to buy. And all of the pocky! Except for sweet milk flavor. I hope it hasn't  been discontinued. It was all so cheap! And ALL OF THE RICE BAGS.

I got some snacks that were super cheap, and the XXX Holic manga. I've seen the anime and really liked it.
I bought Hello Kitty rement to add to my collection of useless shit to put on my bookshelf. And we each got Tokidoki unicorn blind boxes. There are like 10 different unicorns you could get, but ya don't know which one you'll get! OH, THE ADORABLE NOVELTY. I can't handle it.

We ended up getting the two coolest ones, in my opinion.

I have off tomorrow. Rot says he wants to go to the beach. We'll see how that works out. In the meantime, I'm gonna go be depressed and daydream.

Suicide Bridge RePost

Written on Tuesday | June, 26th 2012

Yesterday morning while Rot was at work, he texted me saying he wanted to take us to visit the Suicide Bridge in Pasadena. I flipped my shit. Maybe it's just me but I find it romantic in a way. Not traditional, but there's a dark dramatized romantic thingie to it and.. I don't know.

SORRY, I'LL TURN DOWN THE GOTH KNOB NOW.

He also said we'd go eat lunch. :D

The bridge itself is beautiful with a lovely view of the canyon and riverbed. The area and neighborhoods are... absolutely stunning. It made NoHo look like even more of a shithole than it already is. The streets were lined with gorgeous trees and elegant black lanterns all along the sidewalks and side roads. UGH. I bet Christmas there would be magical if it actually snowed.

~ The story of this bridge is that during the Great Depression, over 100 people committed suicide here, leaping to their deaths. This bridge is said to be haunted. Two most noted hauntings are of an older man in glasses walking along the bridge, and the other of a woman standing over the railing, wailing as she searches for her baby. 

This woman apparently jumped off the bridge after tossing her baby. The infant's fall was broken by tree branches and survived. She died on impact.

We parked in a neighborhood and walked through an estate to reach the bridge.

Those spikes around his mouth hurt.

 I REGRET NOTHIIIIINNG

Even though he lost a long time friend to suicide, he still has a sense of humor.

While standing here, we felt an eerie tremble that may have simply been the traffic's force and momentum wobbling the bridge... or something. It was random and weird.

Following this, we went to Denny's at ate nommies. Denny's coffee is my favorite. ^-^
I suggest visiting this location. It's pretty, and romantic. Can you picture two spooky kids walking hand in hand along this bridge? CUTE, I KNOW
Or just anyone, really. Go. Go do it, now.

Dat Natures

We went hiking Saturday. We being Lisa, Ron, Jared, Robin, and myself. She was having a birthday thing that evening, but of course... I worked early the next morning. To compensate, we frolicked in the natures.
It is now Wednesday- my calves still ache tremendously.
Despite the discomfort, it was an amazing trip, and I plan to visit there again with the Rotten one. We look all ooky and anti-natures but I mean... what's better than taking a stroll through the forest in an MMO? Taking a stroll through the forest for realsies as if inside an MMO. Duh.

 The only thing that sucked was the sun. 

You'd think that because I am hispangyick, I'd have some sort of racial ability that would make it so that I don't burn. My genetics don't comply with this stereotype. In the near future I may be forced to invest in a brimmed hat for protection. My poor nose can't take much more of the sun's crap with all this outside business.

Monday morning I took Jared and Lisa to my work for work things. We spent the entire day together, and I ended up showing Lisa how to make one of my favorite meals! They really liked it!

Happy dinner time!
I love love love eating out of bowls. My mom always fed me out of them. :3

-
Being told that I make work less crappy for someone is extremely uplifting. The feeling is mutual. That being said, I cross my fingers for Mama Bear. We're waiting with bated breath.

-

Today was 4th of July. I came home from work, dressed my burgers, hid in my room, ate my burgers, internet'd, and took a nap with Rotny. Woke up to a text from Jason saying he was a few houses over and to come visit. I was in my jammies by then, but I would've gone if I had known sooner. I also dreamt about a co-worker. We went shopping and got ice cream because earlier today, they mentioned getting ice cream and I came home wanting ice cream. Not sure about the shopping part but... definitely want ice cream. 

-

Came across this awesome illustration.

• "That's not where her brain is."
• "They have beaks to crack skulls open. You want his beak touching you?"
• "They don't even care about that, Peempurs. They don't have sexual identities."

~ ROTNY: DESTROYER Of FANTASIES ~

That's my Peempurs!

New skill up

What an interesting day today was. Mostly just the morning, actually. I learned what it felt like to be Rotny every day he ever toured, and why he can shrug people off so easily like he does. I learned that today because for the first time in all of the time I've worked in my life, a co-worker pretty much verbally abused me, lol. I'm pretty certain what occurred constitutes as verbal abuse in the work place.

It wasn't like... the stupid, petty kind. The one where people go "omghad she rolled her eyes at me and said I suck," no. She was hostile, aggressive, and shouting- like loud, heated fighting voice, on the floor of my work place, in front of a customer at the window, and in front of another co-worker completely dumbfounded at what he was seeing. Only, like Rotny describes to me as he did, I stood there defiant and in a neutral speaking tone kept repeating- "Don't treat me bad because you're angry." "You're projecting on me."

"What would Rotny do" is something I try to live by. He's extremely diplomatic and non-reactive.

This was kind of eye opening for me because now I understand why Rotny would say "he started throwing punches at me, and I just looked at him and said he was stupid and walked away." or the ever mysterious Just smile and Nod rout that he would always talk about dealing with a belligerent person. I never understood how he was able to do it, until today.

It's almost like I got a new skill. I should probably go to Rotny about it so he can train me.

It was addressed in a way that would silence the tension temporarily. I sought advice, and was told to go the most basic rout of simply ignoring the person and to remain apart from one another. It was easy to comply, and the morning went quickly as I joked with my other co-workers, and was asked to stay later again because someone went home sick. :DDD I was as happy as can be! All laughs and smiles, and customers were especially nice today ^-^

The ignoring part is all well and dandy, and perhaps hoping their steam cools off in a few days is a good way of avoiding potential meltdowns. However, it doesn't take away from what the person did to me and I will seek to have this handled properly, even if I have to go to corporate. The thing is, you don't just let someone coming towards you screaming things go off the hook and hope everything gets better. Not a lot of people get paid to be treated that way by someone. It wasn't even a superior. That's not to say that a superior can do that, but at least that might make more sense. It's okay to not like me, but just don't charge at me like you're going to hit me, and we'll be fine. haha

I have even taken the steps to try to rectify the situation beforehand, but this person was not interested in doing that. It was evident that they had zero intention of retaining their professionalism when we both showed up simultaneously to open, and stood at the corner outside of the building, several feet away, back facing me with arms crossed.

That's what started this. They were taking their frustration out on something and caused it to burst open. I told them "Hey I know you're upset, but please try not to take your anger out on stuff at work."

BOOM.

I have to say, I almost feel pity for this person more than anything else, because they probably go home and cry, and regret a lot of things. Still, this doesn't make the abusive, elitist backlash acceptable. I've also watched this person go off on several other of my co-workers, and it's almost saddening.

I guess I am just happy to be able to say that despite what happened this morning, I have a nice, stable home to come to. My boyfriend is here, my computer is here, I don't think I'm ugly, I'm young, and I will never be like this person, and that to me is reason enough to be able to smile in their presence.

I will never be like them, or feel the need to treat my co-workers badly like that even if I don't like them. ^-^v And that's awesome!

I thank this person for being an example of how to not to be :)

You've changed my perspective of things, and made me a better person. 

THANK YOU! <3 

Also, Rift has a new patch that came out. And it's awesome!! 

Suicide Bridge

Our visitation there had zero connection to this, and was planned before I knew. Rot, being the uber goth that he is, thought it would be romantic to take us there for a stroll. 

Out of respect for my friend, who yesterday found out her best friend took her own life, this post will have to wait. If you'd like more information about this land mark:

Pasadena Colorodo Street Bridge; AKA The Suicide Bridge

BURN

Yesterday morning after work I came home and made more charms. Nothing custom, just whatever. I FRICKIN BURNED THEM. They were so cute :(
I put them in at 300 degrees, I don't even know why I set it that high. Normally I do it around 275 or a little less. They all came out brown. Some were cracked. Huge bummer. That's clay, time, and findings I'm not getting back. -_-
Only two were salvageable. They've been painted but I don't like painting if I don't have to. It doesn't look even. Or maybe I just paint like shit, who knows. They might look better if I finish them.

One of the casualties. :(

Yes, it's the Ocarina from the Zelda game.

I was gonna paint it and glaze it all nice and stuff and ugh. :(

I'd show the others, but they're really ugly.

I had a revelation thing today. This morning there were several rude, bitter customers I encountered. It made me wonder if the way I saw them (mad at something in their own lives and projecting onto me) is the way people I care about see me. Suddenly my perspective of things changed kinda. I never want to be like ever, or have anyone ever think of me that way. It never used to matter, until I noted my own emotions in reaction to how I was treated for no reason. Changes things.

Other than that, work was fun. I got asked to stay later XD
It was cool though, I don't mind helping. The constant joking about it by my peers makes it less annoying, hehe.

Also, Rot texted me today saying he wanted us to go somewhere special tomorrow! It's in Pasadena and apparently haunted. He said we'd even have lunch there. I can't wait!

Now it's time for this. But pretend it's night time instead of morning time.

While watching The Orphanage and snuggling with a Rotten Peempurs. :3

SQUEE

So yesterday I made this ADORABLE little guy. 

He is a Drider.

Now Squiggles the Mindflayer has a friend to play with!

I didn't put an eye pin in him because I'm going to create themed sets, and he's the start of this one. 

Also I made a Cthulhu dude for that themed set.

I gave him kitty ears. Because I can.

There's gonna be a lot of stuff in this set. I can't wait.

I think the most challenging thing about making the Drider was getting his actual skin color right.

Driders are half Drow/Spider, and Drow skin is described as black. BUT, in illustrations, their skin isn't like... zero color whatsoever black. It's super dark, grey with slight brown and purple undertone, almost black- black. So that was a fun trial and error thing. I think I got it and am confident that I can replicate it. 

It makes me think about Drow cosplayers. 

They'll buy straight up BLACK body paint and use that- it never looks right.

I wonder if my gloopey stuff arrived in the mail yet.

EW

Will she finally go to Michael's, or will she just pay for shipping fees off Ebay? 

STAY TUNED

 

Why do blacks fade so quickly?

 I dyed some of my tops and didn't rinse them out completely... then threw them in the washer with the rest of my black stuff and hoped for the best. From what I could see, the dye has bled into once not-grey undergarments. Score!

I didn't do it on the carpet this time. :DDD

Josh learned how to play the Drizzt game the other night, so we were able to play an adventure, all 3 of us. It was fuuunnnn. I can't wait to move on to the next one. 

Also, earlier today I stopped in to my work to pick up and drop off something for/from co-workers. DnD guy was there and told me about his game last night. It sounded exciting. At one point, they encountered a Drow and decided to interrogate him. It wasn't fruitful. Boy Drow are used to being tortured because girl Drow are malicious and dominant in their society. He said they eventually killed him, though. :(

Drow are mean, but I always feel bad for the boys. The female Drow are cruel, merciless and prideful. The boys tread lightly, or they'll get their dicks sliced off with a snake whip-- for the most part.

The start of the second Adventure. Rot and I already completed it, but we played again so Josh could catch up. :)

Close to the end, trying to kill the Boss. That Goblin was annoying.

Oh, and I went to Michael's. I think the drive to get there was worse than the actual shopping experience. I planned it so that I went during normal work hours in hopes that it'd be less crowded. 

Also, I predicted that the x acto knife I wanted would be more expensive... it was! Twice as much as I found it on Ebay. They also didn't have the other goopey stuff I was looking for. Good thing I already ordered it :D

Investments are blegh.

Ugh..

Feels way more organized. I needed one of those mat things and wire cutters for a looooong time. Bare computer desk... not good.

I'm really glad though. There's still more I wanna get in order to be able to make a billion a day like nothing, but this is a start. YAY ARTSY THINGS :D

Just kidding

I kept telling myself that today I would finally go to Michael's for supplies. I wrote it down, 'tweeted' it, and talked about it to get myself amped up for the trek over there. I even reminded myself that there's a Sharky's restaurant nearby, and that I could grab a burrito on my way back.

I came home, pondered it some more, and fell asleep.

It also had to do with how tired I felt from this morning. Maybe it was the crash one gets after consuming coffee. Whatever it was, my soy, caramel misto wasn't doing jack shit to stimulate my 'stay awake' functions. Chris was sweet and let me go home on time, haha. I told him I could stay later if it was needed -- someone was sent home-- but he joked about how much I get asked to stay later, thus... the joke of letting me go home on time was born.

ohmighadwerebessfraans

Kristof came over and hung out yesterday. He and Rot wrote up a contract for band stuff. It was already announced, but Rot is officially writing guitars for Dawn of Ashes. I had the super fun job of proof-reading the contract and witnessing the written agreement. The jokes that were made about professionalism can only be imagined by you, my dear viewers, for it would be incredibly lame of me to actually go into detail over... BUT I'M SURE YOU CAN IMAGINE

Unless you actually ever received your P9 merch, and are okay with enabling, then you wouldn't understand.

I keep flirting with the idea of using my Etsy account as a means of selling charms outside of my work. It's complicated though.

• I'll feel overwhelmed with orders
• I'm horrified of left turns because I grew up in the East coast and never had a reason to be an aggressive driver until I moved to L.A.
• There are two of them on the way to the post office. One with a light, and one just before a major light, but I can't go straight-- dead end. Must turn left or right. BUT I have to turn left through 2 left turning lanes, and 2 oncoming traffic lanes to pull into the parking lot's Enter here part, which is more complicated to get to than the Exit Only part. NO.
• I don't know where anything is in there, and I never wanna be "that guy" at the post office. It's too quiet, and I'll stand out even more. no. no no no. never. can't do it. won't.
• I'd mail out from here, but we have no outgoing thing, and I don't have faith in the people that live on my street enough for me to just leave packages there for the post man to get without someone stealing it.

That reminds me, today some guy in the drive through pulled up to the window and immediately said "I forgot my wallet, but I'm just gonna take the drink and come back later to pay for it."
Number 1... who the FUCK goes anywhere without their wallet, let alone DRIVE without your proper identification?
Now do you see why I hate driving here?
Number 2... FUCK YOU
Instantly, I was turned off at how he just expected that courtesy. He was abrasive in his demeanor, and I wanted to tell him to fuck off. I was in the wrong though, the whole time.
Apparently he does this OFTEN, because when I went to verify that I could do this for Mr. I always get what I want because I'm a pushy dick, I was told to just give it to him and to have faith in people.
When I did, he asked who said it was okay, I told him, and he was like okay, yeah...yeah. Thanks. and drove off. Also, my co-worker overheard and then said "he's so cheap, he always does that."

I'm glad to know we're enabling this shit and creating our own monsters. I'm wondering if he came back to pay for his drink. I digress.

• There are fees. As if that website doesn't have overpriced crap on it already, why in the world world--- just. whatever. Ugh... indie stuff agitates me. It shouldn't, because I'm part of it. But it just does.

Little Cynthia is all kinds of messed up. Not really, I'm being dramatic. But I do see things in a different way that other people find hilarious, stupid, and malfunctioning. Not sure about the last two, but if I knew me, and was my friend, I'd be like "dude you're so broken right now, it's hilarious. The stamps are right there." And I'd be like OH ME, YOU'RE SUCH AN OBSERVANT SHIT and then we'd hug and go get Taco Bell. And then I'd go home and watch Sex and the City and cry or something.

You see these fantasies I come up with?

That's Aaron being pregnant in maternity gear. I say "gear" because it's less ball crushing than not calling it "gear."

ISN'T THAT CUTE?!

NEXT UP TONIGHT: GREEN CHILDREN BORN OF MEN.. AND ALIEN RAPE?

ONLY ON DISCOVERY

Teen: "Our dad is a rapist. He's somehow kidnapped and impregnated about 5 men. Her mom's cool with it, though."

Child: "My mommy says it's okay because he is not a missojimist and... she says men need to learn and women should be daddies, too."