Aromatic

    I'm really excited to start school and kicking myself in the ass for making such a silly mistake. Oh well. The more exciting it will be when I finally start!

It's been absolutely heavenly here these last couple of weeks. Really makes me wish I had my own place. Every time I end up at a store with home decor I start to get all these ideas and wanna go nuts. If I wasn't saving up for school, my car, and cons I'd be all over that shit.

However I did end up finding a gift card while cleaning the living room and decided to head to the mall with it after work.

I was in bright spirits. Still am!

Then I saw this and ugh...
Bath and Body Works is my weakness. Especially when they have sales :(
They ALWAYS have sales. So it's like... infinite weaksauce. I can't help myself. But the timing was perfect because I like candles, and am running low on my supply. Again. So tadaa!! I just love their seasonal Fall candles. They're all so homely and inviting and delicious. I think Fall is my favorite just because caramel apple and pumpkin everything comes out.

I went with Harvest Coffee and Pumpkin Pecan Waffles. Harvest Coffee ended up making my apartment smell like a rich chocolate factory with coffee accents, and the other made it smell like freshly baked sweet caramel pecan pastries coming out of the oven with a hint of pumpkin. I can't even handle this shit right now.

I've also been indulging in more baths. Totally in love. Not just the milk baths but also adding my own scents to it. I really like sweet, warm scents or candy scents. Caramel, Honey, Vanilla... Cotton Candy, Peppermint, Blueberry Muffins, mmpf.... So I took two relaxies this week. One of the milk baths, and the other with my own stuff in it.

I used a mix of my body wash and a body cream from Bath and Body Works and let the hot water mix it all together and let it bubble up. It was heavenly.

It leaves your skin feeling so soft and soothes the senses. You could just melt x___x ugh.

The milk baths are also really, really soothing.

I wish showers weren't so convenient! Otherwise I'd do this every single day! haha

but I am happy with my yummy smelling things! 

I also got another commission that I'm just about finished with. And have been keeping myself occupied more or less with WoW and Amnesia. 

If you want to watch I go into it a little more in my last video. And make an idiot of myself lol

Also yesterday I got to do something super exciting! 

One of my bros took me to see a theater! Everything was closed down and whatever, but he used to teach at one of them and had keys, so we went and it was so cute! 

Of course we busted out Phantom of the Opera songs all busted like.

This reminded me a lot of that one time in Jr. High School when a friend and I went upstairs in the backstage area of the theater and looked through all the props and boxes of stuff, and costumes. It was so exciting, like an adventure. I think we skipped lunch or something, I don't remember. But it was in this little attic like room, totally dark and full of drama stuff. 

I especially loved that this is a brick building, which made it even cuter. There was a big space area in the back with a whole bunch of stuff. It was really fun. There's another theater that he wanted to show me, but it got kinda late, so maybe another time. 

It reminded me of something sort of out of Fallout. The chairs and colors of everything.

I have a new appreciation for chicken. I never used to care for it, and thought it was rather bland. That is until I had chicken thighs. SO much tastier! And now it's a thing. I slow cooked chicken thighs with some butter for like an hour, and am eating it over rice with an egg sunny-side up. So much protein! And yumminess!

MASQUERAAAADE. PAPER FACES ON PARAAAADE. MASQUERAAADE. 

Hide your face so the world will never find you.

Notte

  Even though I woke up at 3 am yesterday, I didn't nap! That's kind of a big deal lol. I was really excited to give a co-worker his commission that he ordered from me. It came out so so so cute. He gave me complete artistic freedom with it. He wanted a cutesy, girly unicorn.

I wanted to keep it for myself!! It's so cute! Unfortunately I didn't see him at work, and left it there for him. I hope he likes it! Everyone else that saw it there also thought it was great, and I even have someone already commissioning me to make them stuff. Hooray!

Just to put it out there, I do and am taking commissions in addition to what I sell on my Etsy (see above for link to my store).
The prices run the same: all depending on how elaborate the piece will be.

For example:  They can be simple, straightforward charms,

 or have more detail and colors/texturing

Please keep in mind that with hand made items, it's not just the charm you are paying for, but also the time that gets put into creating them! ^_^

If you are interested in commissioning a piece from me, you can contact me through any of the media portals linked at the top of this page, or email me personally at galaxialgrave@gmail.com.
I use Paypal only and currently only ship within the US.
Once I get over my nervousness at the post office I will figure out international shipping.



So I went home and changed to meet up with Vanna banana to discuss stuff regarding ... stuff. We went to italy.

Aaaaand we caaaaaaallll it bbeeeeeeeella noootteee

I told her the ideas I had and themes that would seem appropriate for our tastes, and the process of establishing a roster. It felt great when she nodded in agreement, completely on the same page.
There are a few little things that still need smoothed out around the edges, but she said she will be working on it. I can't wait to start!

We hung out at her place the rest of the day. There was one point where we drove back here to get my bathing suit. She has a pool that she never uses. She says no one ever wants to go swimming. HOW? I miss swimming! If I had a pool I'd be in there all the time, fuck that. lol
So we came here to grab that. When we got back there, I had to park a little ways away because parking is awful at night. My stupid ass forgot the reason we left in the first place in my backseat, so we didn't get to go swimming. lol.
It had gotten much chillier outside anywho, but.... next time. NEXT time.

We ended up watching an intense WWII movie that had me bawling my eyes out. I don't like watching movies much... but as long as they're not chick movies or have much romance in them and I don't have anything else going on at that moment, I'll give it a try. Vanna said it best when she said she preferred those intense, sad, heart wrenching movies because it makes her realize that life is good. I feel similar.
We watched The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. UGGGHHH. UGGGGH YOU GUISE. UGH.

What the fuck. God my heart. uuuuuugggggggggh.

I suggested she watch The Stoning of Soraya M. UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.

God.

One I still wanna watch is Not without my Daughter. Lauren suggested it. It's about an American mom trying to escape Iran because her husband's a dick that got them trapped there. I haven't watched it yet because it feels like there's a lot of lovey-dovey stuff. Like, there's a pre-existing loving relationship that the protagonist is trying to salvage at whatever means it'll take, which is a plot already played out a lot in many different ways... but still the same plot.

That's her and Obi. Obi likes his shirt. lol. He's such a fun little ball of energy.

Before I headed over to Vanna's I set up an appointment to get a new tire for my car. The front left tire had a leak in it, and I've noticed that it's been getting worse and flattening out faster. So I went to Firestone right after work. They took a look at everything and said it was fine. But also said that the right tire was bald. They both were. So I said fuck it and got two tires instead of one. They worked on my baby for about 45 minutes. I got to watch ^_^

At first they thought it would take an hour and a half because they didn't think they had the tires I needed at that location. But they did! They had 4. Phew! So they started on it and I was so happy!
I'm glad I did it as soon as I did. Two new tires definitely would've been much much much better than just one, lol.
And now the car drives much smoother and I can tell the difference. I feel bad for putting it off for as long as I have! Truth be told I was intimidated with car maintenance. Oh well. I got over it XD
Sadly though, they couldn't use the hubcap I bought a while ago to replace the cracked on on there now. It's too big. Sooooo I'll have to get another one that's the right size. I'm an idiot :D

but a happy idiot! ^_^

With clean pillow sheets and towels. Woot! 

Fan girl

Orgy was probably my favorite band of all time for several years throughout Jr. High and High school. I think the first time I just was like omg for them was when I saw their Blue Monday video, I forget what channel it was on. Maybe TRL? 

 

 I absolutely adored Jay Gordon, the front man. I won't go into why, but I had both Candyass and Vapor Trasnmission. And their singles. Unfortunately, I lived in a city that doesn't get a lot of tour visits, and was too young to think driving a few hours somewhere to see a band was a BIG IMPOSSIBLE THING -- as I just didn't go out anywhere. So unfortunately, I was never able to see them live. 

I remember the first time I watched an episode of CRIBs on MTV at Bobby's house. I lost my shit.

It was really, really, really awesome to me that I got to see them or something about them on a more personal level than just band stuff. 

Once Punk Statik Paranoia came out I began to let go a little bit. I don't wanna talk about it. But Orgy had always been special to me. My school mates would tease playfully because they knew how much I loved Orgy. It was kinda silly, you guys. 

I shouldn't be surprised that on Saturday night I got to meet the man I admired so much growing up (again). I got nervous. I saw him walk into my work one time, but it was very brief, and I couldn't bring myself to fan girl while he was trying to be on his way. But I am happy to say that I was able to chat with him for a little bit, in between the people bombarding him, and even got a good bye poke as he passed me on his way out. 

I have fat face going on, and he looks very different. It's safe to say that he's completely over the old style Orgy had back in the day. It's his band, so he can do that. But... I got to talk to him. Aaaand I never thought that this day would even be possible. It's still kind of unreal to me. He's probably the only person in this shanky city that would humble me to the core, and be something worth mentioning the way I am doing so now. It's a big deal to me. 

Yay! :)

That night I went to Bar Sinister with Vanna banana. We had a really good time. Had girlie talks and danced all goofy like. It was fun. 

Not the most flattering picture but.... what are ya gonna do? 

Flash sucks.

Vanna and I have been flirting with the idea of starting a specific dance troupe for a few months now. We still have much to discuss, but I look forward to it. It could be sort of a thing. :)

Each of these 3 images has a different attitude. I dunno, I found that fun. Wasn't deliberate. It's like seeing 3 sides of me.

Also, I had to show you all this...

Isn't it the cutest!? 

This was done by Kora. I've known her for several years and is also a big Psyclon Nine fan. She did another rendition of me as a gift for my birthday!! I love it!! 

She got my hair and used colors I like, and tentacles!!! hahahaha it's great
Thank you SO much! You are very talented :)

With that, I bid you all adieu! I've been having a lot of fun with WoW's pet battling thing... 

I know... it's stupid and childish and dumb and silly but what can I say? It's fun seeing my favorite pets leveling up and getting stronger and kicking butt! EGBERT IS DOING SO GOOOD! ^_^

Egbert is on the left. He's also in the header image. hahaha I love Egbert ^_^

Evaluation: Insecure

  Hindsight is 20/20, they say. 

And I feel that just for the sake of maybe helping someone that may read this, I'm going to tell all.


I commend the boyfriends who perform that have girlfriends who cannot keep to their own lives, and feel they need to be involved and somewhat live vicariously through their lovers' successes through whatever means that may be.
Gentlemen... the patience you have goes unnoticed by many, and understood also by many, but in silence. For Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Or one that's just really bored and posessive.

The irony is... I was exactly that kind of girlfriend. I felt I needed to be involved, and included, in something that had absolutely nothing to do with me whatsoever. I took it personally when I was told to butt out. When he would go out of his way to make me feel like I was a part of what he did, it wasn't ever enough. I wanted more. So I would feel better about myself, and also as a means to validate my involvement, and my status-- even though no one really gives a shit. I never went as far as to talk and tell everyone and all the fans about us, or put on a show on the internet- I didn't need that, but I did want to be a part of that world- at the time... and looking back on that now, I looked like a fucking annoying, bitchy, clingy, insecure little tag-along tool that needed to get a hobby and some self confidence.


But I am thankful for my experiences, for they've put so many things in perspective for me.

It shows. It shows when she's eager to be involved. It shows when he wants her to back off. It shows when she goes out of her way to investigate, and finally, because of her own convoluted thoughts and insecurities, she comes up with imaginary scenarios in her head that she convinces herself are true, because she's not in the know of everything 100%.

I know, because I used to do that too. And I recognize it a mile away. And let me tell you... it shows.

It embarrasses me that we as women need that type of security to feel validated in a relationship with a performer. And it makes me feel sorry for the men that have to introduce this process to the girlfriend for the first time, and deal with it every time. But I hope this puts something in perspective for you too.
It also shows that this blog, that I personally run, by myself, and write in, and single-handedly upload my own pictures onto from only one possible source... is not just 'the internet.' I know this because I don't take a lot of what I post here and throw it all over the internet. And I don't think that many others do.

It's.... something else, and it shows.


He says what you wanna hear so the bitching ends. It makes you feel better for the moment, but it will never be enough. Not until you get some confidence, a passion, a goal, and a clue.


It took me a few years to get to this point. But now that I did... get a hobby. Get some confidence. Tell yourself all the things you think you need to until it sinks in that you are a completely different entity than him and what he does, and that is absolutely okay- because you also have your shit to do.
And if you don't... find it. The kiddies/fans may make you feel good, but if you can't go a single day without feeling validated by them, by his work/hobbys' residual stragglers... then... I truly, and honestly, from the bottom of my soul, wish you all the best and hope that you find the thing you want to achieve for yourself, and let go of his passion to work on your own.


I may be a jerk, but I don't need "the internet" to validate my worth to someone else, or to fight my battles for me. Because that's just really fucking stupid lol
(ask him if I'm right. Just kidding, it's a bad idea.)

 S M I L E

All the world is a stage on "the internet", isn't it?

Have an awesome day!

Methusela

   Getting older feels gross. I can't believe that I'm already past the first quarter of my life. I certainly don't feel it. Thank goodness I don't look it (much)! Here's hoping my genetics handle this aging thing gracefully as my skin cells slowly deteriorate over time.

I've never been one to want to go all out for my birthday. But I have been very fortunate to have friends who were so excited for it that they were always determined to do something for me. Maybe they feel bad for me? Hahaha. Either way, I never expect anything really, other than a nice greeting and some food. 

This year I thought I was going to spend my birthday alone and not do anything. Josh I think I mentioned gave me an early surprise gift that was so cute and thoughtful. It took me completely off guard. (Kyubey plush doll). You're probably wondering what Rot--- well. He's not one that has his mind in celebrations ever, really. Or holidays. You could say he is a practical person with his mind always on his music career. I think there was only ever one occasion that he agreed to include himself for my birthday stuff, which was when Ponies set up a day for a group of us to go to see the dinosaur and gem exhibit for both Kyrie and mines' birthdays. So it's something I don't even acknowledge around him. He told me what he wanted to do for me this time, and it was really sweet, but I understand that his music stuff needs to be taken care of first.

Lauren I think was more excited about my birthday than I was! She surprised me and showed up the evening before, from her parents' house in the desert. She held a big birthday cake balloon and a bowl full of sour candy! lol

Let me tell you guys how much sour candy I have right now.

I have two 2 lb bags of sour gummy worms. That green bag of sour gummy worms, and those two sour patch kids. The blue box was pretzel M&M's- gone. It's funny because I don't eat candy very much. It wasn't until recently that I discovered this 2.5 lb bag of sour gummy worms at the grocery near my work and started buying them. But this stuff will last me until at least November lol. 

She spent the night that evening where we watched Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and talked about a lot of random stuff. And then she gave me another gift.

I started crying because it was the sweetest, most thoughtful thing coming from her. And when she gave me that I was so happy that I started weeping from joy, knowing that she understood. It may not seem like a lot, but the way that she thought about me on a personal level moved me to tears. And I absolutely loved it. Simple, and perfect.

Which btw.... I hate myself for saying this but the pet battle thing is kind of fun? Is it because I'm a girl? Probably? Could it be that I'm emotionally attached to some of my pets from Burning Crusade? Perhaps. Does finally seeing them get stronger and do cute little attacks make me happy? MAYBE?

UGH.

The actual day of my birthday I woke up to her preparing breakfast for me. It hit home for me a little because I had another friend back in Pennsylvania, Sara, who absolutely adored doing that. Every time she'd sleep over at my place she'd wake up and make chocolate chip pancakes for us, and serve hot black tea with milk. It was like... what she did. Every time. 

DOES SOMETHING ABOUT ME SAY FEED ME THINGS??

I don't even LOOK bulemic. 

I have all my teeth, I swear.

Lauren was telling me how much she admired me because I'm basically a walking kristenstewart. That's a noun. Well... at least with stuff that would normally get people to react a little more. I told her that it's a flaw that really sucked to achieve, because it wasn't intentionally. I told her after a while you just kind of stop having expectations and just shrug everything off because it takes too much effort and emotional investment to put any faith into anything anymore, for me. So I'll just tolerate what happens, figure it'll go shitty anyway because why not? When things go shitty, I'm not surprised. However when they go really well... I'm pleasantly surprised. And it feels good, and it's an emotion I welcome more over disappointment that inevitably comes with hoping things go the way you want them to all the time. 

I tried to explain this to her. She told me that she thinks I am strong. I wish I felt strong. But all I can really 'hope' for is that my callousness somehow helps her more, as she claims it does, with future moments that she feels she can't get through.That was a nice gift. I don't think it was meant to be, but I am glad that I can somehow help her with my idiosyncrasies.

We also went to Michael's. 

Before Michael's we went to this Halloween store that took forever to get to even though it was like 5 minutes away. It was meh. They did have these cute bows that I got though. And Lauren got some stuff too. But I wont' mention what. :)

At Michael's we fell in love with the artificial flowers they had at the front, and took our sweet time mixing and matching different ones to take home.

She went with Autumn colors. I decided on something a little more.... bold. I also bought more candles because out of like the 20 I have in my apartment right now... only two have anything left to burn, lol. So I got this like... 9 pack of teas for like 5 bucks.

They're pumpkin scented ^_^

See the two empty ones next to this? Hahaha, they're all over the place.

Candles make me happy. :3

I also got these. My parents gave me some birthday money, and I decided to get some stuff with it.

I didn't spend it all. I can't. I'd feel bad if I did. 

I also got purple lights for our bedroom. It looks absolutely delicious in here at night. With candles lit and these lights it's like mmpf. 

Lauren likes our bed. Can you see her? XD

The bisquick she bought for the pancakes is multipurpose apparently (I never knew this) and can also be used to make biscuits! So we did that. SO GOOD. I need to get more butter. It was gone by the time we finished this plate. Gross I know. but so delicious.

It was a really nice day all together. And she played more WoW on my computer. It's cute to watch.

 I am so completely thankful for everything ever. 

I got a commission a few days ago from a customer of mine that's ordered from me a few times before. This time she drew something out and asked me to replicate them as charms! So I did.

They're like... weird cartoony psychedelic cats lol. I hope she likes them as much as I enjoyed making them! I added stuff after I took this but... yeah! haha

I also took up a diet of fruits, cheeses, lunch meat, and water. I love it! There are some things about myself that I'm not happy with and until the sun fucks off so I can go running without feeling like I'm going to be mugged at sun down, I'm gonna stick to this.

The other day I finally put on my stupid saggy hat thing and for once I liked how it looked with what I was wearing. I hate that fucking hat. 

I also don't normally wear red. Or red lipstick. or lipstick period. Okay, just kidding sometimes I do. but it'd always be like... either really dark purple, kinda dark purple, or purple. Or like... I'll slightly tint my lips to look like tiny little doll lips. Never BOOM. red. I liked it. Ew... it's because I'm getting older..... 

Oh, and the purple I have in my bangs... it's not an actual pigment on it's own. I mix stuff to get that color. 

Mystic Heather + Aquamarine = Cynth's favorite purple hair color

CUTE RIGHT??

They smell soooo good!

I got them all at a massive discounted rate because I had a lot of points saved up with hhcandy. So WHAM. Mine! 

If Bath and Body Works comes out with new scents for their little hand sanitizers for Halloween, I might them. I have all of them from last year still :3

If it's not clear... I like to smell good. haha

I also finished BioShock 2. The ending was a little expected, but still really cool. I haven't started New Vegas yet because of damn pet battling in WoW, but it's on the to-do list.

Also, I've been asked to do a collab on YouTube discussing some pretty exciting topics within the gaming community. Really excited about that. I can't wait.

me·thu·se·lah

noun

An extremely old man.