Blue screen

    The store brand Nyquil rip off (with the exact same ingredients as Nyquil) is half gone. I got some 2 days ago. Who it was that I contracted this from is unknown but I'm going to assume it was from Fett. However, yesterday at work someone said one of the girls got strep throat, who I worked with a few days ago also. I'm hoping that what I have is not strep throat. Strep is possibly one of the most god awful things I've had to deal with contagion wise. It SUCKS ass, it's so fucking awful. I had it once while living in San Francisco. Lord. Talking sucked, swallowing sucked, breathing through your mouth sucked, clearing your throat was hell. Even swallowing saliva sucked. Eating was a nightmare, and you coughed up every manifested sensation that Hell would grace upon on a soul damned to an eternity of anguish. YEAH. You're welcome for that visual.
So far, It's been 4 days since I noticed this sickness. So far, no inflammation in the back of my throat... just a lot of phlegm my body's desperately forcing me to hack up. I got sent home from work 2 days in a row now. I was supposed to work today but I woke up with barely any voice. Tomorrow's shift is also a no go. That's 4 fucking days of not being able to work the full hours. Fucking sucks. My next paycheck is gonna suck ass unless I hustle and beg people for their hours. I may have to end up doing that if I don't get better by Wednesday. Fuck it, I just won't talk to anyone my entire shift, lol. The worse part was while at work, when I would feel like coughing really hard I'd have to drop what I was doing and haul ass to the back room and just.... cat... all over the trash by the desk. Someone walked back as I was dying and they were like ... O____O oh honey, you need to go home. I tried to laugh but it sounded more like an asthmatic chihuahua wheeze, so they went and told the shift super. If I can just not talk for the next 3 days, I think I'll be okay, and my throat won't be so abused when it tries to hack shit out.

Few days ago I went out and got some stuff to help me recover, lol. The Kahlua was actually a replacement bottle for the bar, as I have been a little generous with helping myself to white russians lately. Chinese sounded good.

Another thing that boosted my spirits was the huge box out on the porch yesterday morning. I was leaving for work when I saw this:

 Thankfully, I give myself some time to grab coffee and food before clocking in, but instead I brought this inside and opened it. Fett had overnighted flowers for me for Valentine's Day while he was away in the Philippines. :)
He's so lovely. The smile on my face was disgusting. I couldn't stop smiling. Mostly because I wasn't expecting anything whatsoever. It would just be another day of the week, but nope.

It came with a red vase and everything. 

 But because I had to go I didn't get to unwrap everything. So when I got home from work, as I was undoing the packaging, I noticed there was another box in there.

 wtf is this

 A message in a bottle, aaaawwwwww!!! with rose petaaaalllsss!!

 oooooooh, preeetttyyy

 Awww, it's that poem that I heard for the first time in the The Mask :B

It's actually a very beautiful poem. Everything was beautiful.

And I realize that thousands of other women are getting this same exact thing for Valentine's Day, but hey...

Fett is over seas, lol. He's not even here! This is justified for that scenario I think, haha.

And he also surprised me with the Anniversary edition of Fable. :B

I've always wanted to play it, but just never prioritized it over other games I had. Fett says it's one of his favorites. I played a little bit of it, it's pretty cool so far. Reminds me of Elder Scrolls a little bit, but more cartoony. 

What else has been going on while I've been here?

Well, the first week I went out and got the dogs some stuff. I couldn't find their leashes or collars to take them on walks, so I figured I could bring one of them with me to the pet store and grab some stuff for them. They were, are, really sad that everyone is away, so this was an attempt to cheer them up.

Tier was a mess. She wouldn't stop trembling. It was obvious she hasn't been out in a loooong time. I got her to relax though. One can only imagine what was going on in her little head the entire time we were out. 

She liked the window. As long as she felt me holding her she was okay. 

I got them cute leashes and little collars, treats, and balls to play with. They don't care much for the toys, but they loved the treats. Once I'm better I'm hoping I can take them both out at the same time for a ride. They may like that. Or dread it, who knows. 

Oh, I've been having so much fun w/ this fucking wireless network adapter.

first time in my entire life to ever get a blue screen. EVER.

I take pride in the maintained I put on every PC I've ever had, but this was just fucked up.

What it came down to basically was that Windows wasn't detecting the adapter, because of a wonky driver installation, apparently. The connection would establish itself, but then lose signal after however long, and then suddenly the adapter just doesn't exist anymore, even though it was still plugged into the USB port. Really weird. 

I figured out that Windows sees the wireless adapter, but somehow blocked the updates for the wifi port adapter drivers. Who the hell knows how that even happened. I'm thinking everything ate shit when I went to install the drivers for the utility software that the network adapter is supposed to work with. TP-Link software. Windows wouldn't shut down, and I'd just lose signal. I had to go into safe mode to uninstall that shit. Then when I would restart and log on, it would detect the network adapter again. 

IDK. EVERYTHING WAS SO WEIRD.

It blue screened again last night as I went to shut it down thinking the issue was fixed. 

I figured it probably just needed a reboot. So far, I've had no problems other than the occasional signal loss, but Windows has been able to trouble shoot it. It says the network adapter is either disabled or broken. Considering how I've blue screen'd and I get signal, I'm thinking it's something else, but whatever. It's working now. So embarrassing.

Never ever had a blue screen before. Ever. 

THESE ARE THE SACRIFICES I GO THROUGH FOR BOYFRIEND, GUYS. BLUE SCREEN.

If he ever doubts my feelings for him I'm going to smack him upside the head and show him this picture. I blue screen'd for you. TWICE. hmph. The only thing that should ever be blue on a PC is the fucking LED lighting set up in your rig. *drops mic*

Valentine's Day was another day to myself. I got sent home early from work again because I was worse than the day before. Lost my voice, and was coughing up the nastiest, wettest coughs ever. 

But I told myself I'd treat myself to something nice, so I did. It required very little speaking and interaction with anyone within confined quarters. Now that I think about it... I hope the public parking dude that parked my car doesn't get sick :( 

I was hacking up hell on my way to Little Tokyo.... it makes me wonder if those pathogens are airborne? If so..... yikes. Sorry man...

So yeah, I went to Little Tokyo. I told him thank you after he walked back from my car to return my keys, and he immediately asked me if I was sick, lol.

 I laughed, or wheezed a triggering chuckle, nodding a yes as I hacked into my sleeve and smiled sweetly in confirmation. I see him there every time I go there. He told me to get better. That was nice of him. 

It was nice to breath open air, except for the part where I could feel the smog irritating my throat. But I was there and that was good enough for me. 

Since it was still kind of earlier I browsed the Mall area, and got this:

The night before Fett and his family left for the Philippines his parents treated him and I to sushi at Octopus. His mommy was raving on about the macaroons they have there and how delicious they are. Of course we got some for dessert that night after our rolls.

But I saw this cute little squishy macaroon and it reminded me of that night, so I got it. It's on my keychain. Thanks to its' squishiness I can mush on it whenever I'm feeling yucky in public or just need something to mush for distraction. The memory attached to it will make me feel better, too.

After that, I went to the book store in Wells Court and picked up the 2nd volume to Magical Girl Apocalypse and the first vol. of No Game No Life. I got lucky because Magical Girl Apocalypse had just came out with the 2nd volume, and I got the last one in stock. 

I really like it so far. 

It's essentially a zombie manga, but there are Magical Girls that show up out of nowhere from this huge catastrophic explosion. They look fucked up, and have these wands that give them insane powers-- all different kinds-- and every person they kill resurrects as a zombie. It's extremely gorey and full of magic. I fucking love it. It takes the zombie survival genre and gives it a new, refreshing twist. What I like most about it is that it's not so much about the zombies, but more so based on how to demolish the actual Magical Girls. There are sick fight encounters with the source of the zombies, and they're all different from one another. It's awesome. I highly recommend it to zombie fans, or those of the like that enjoy reading that kind of stuff. (I don't like zombie stuff, if that holds any value)

Following that I headed over to Mr. Ramen to treat myself to lunch and read my new manga. 

 There were a ton of couples and families there. I sat my ass down at a little table and made myself comfy. Sighed a sigh of contentment and read away. I knew exactly what I wanted and relaxed there for the next hour.

 A little bit of everything for under $10. This is why I love Mr. Ramen!

I got through 70% of Apocalypse before it was time to leave. It was getting busier and busier and I felt bad hogging a little table to myself. There were two lolita chicks sitting at the door waiting to be seated. I thought they looked awesome, but avoided staring or looking for more than a half second glance. They had no problems staring at me though. rude >_<

I was hoping it was my "Cosplay whatever the fuck you want" tshirt I was wearing.

Once I was done there, I went next door to grab my one and only mango boba fruit slush, and headed back to Wells Court to sit down and read. A little while after, I went into Marukai and grabbed some tentacle jerky and a candy kit for Fett and I to do when he gets back, lol. Then I went home. 

And for all you hxc Hello Kitty fans  out there, if you ever feel that regular nori isn't good enough for you, Marukai sells Hello Kitty brand nori for the hxc HK fans. just FYI. 

 Also, I totally brought Tier into the bubble bath with me and she hates me.

Wish I was a Mind Flayer =\

Atmosphere

        Stress has subsided. That's fun. I just heard my phone vibrate... it's somewhere. Should probably go look at it.
Nah.

    Valentine's Day is coming up, and guess who's super excited to go on a date with herself??? Not me, because I don't even know if I have the day off, first of all and that's just an emotional investment I don't care to employ. If I do though, I'm taking this hot little dame down to Little Tokyo and spoiling the shit out of myself because I HEART MEEEEE! 

Q: But Cynth, why aren't you spending the day with Fett?

A: Well internet, let me tell you. Fett is going to his motherland for 2 weeks with his pamily. (get it? replaced the f w/ a p? dead giveaway, guys) So this bampf is gonna take herself out and hope that her beloved Fett is also having a lovely Valentine's Day in... where ever they may be at the time. :P
Poor guy though... when he gets back he's going to be so preoccupied with catching up on all the school work he's missed, plus also having to go to work.

This may factor into his attendance with me to Long Beach Comic Con at the end of this month, but I digress.

During this time, I was also given the honor of house sitting for his family all throughout. They leave this Sunday, which leaves me little time to pack all my shit and haul it over there. Honestly though, the most important thing to me is my computer. I'm totally bringing my tower and speakers over there to hook it up into his set up. See, I'm a wonderful girlfriend that inspires the body and soul... and encouraged him to get a gaming rig set up, including dual monitors, because I'm just such a great person. So I'll be fine. I'll just... slide my little baby right up in there and hook her up and everything will be juuuuuuust fiiiiine.
His parents are being so generous about making sure I have a rations throughout the time they're gone. I don't know, maybe this is a default, but I was just expecting to buy my own stuff while I was there, but they were like "nuuuu what do you waaaaannntt" and I was like... ."bluuuuee gateraaaadeee and pastaaaa" and they were like "oookkiiieee"

It's gonna be pretty sweet. They have a lovely house. I'll probably buy milk and Kalhua and just go to town every day running around the house in panties and socks. His mom is having his dad install the dance pole in their living room. GUESS WHO'S GONNA BE GRACEFUL AS FUK ALL OVER THAT THING? NOT ME but I will try, damnit. Expect bruise pictures.


F o r e s t  L a w n  |

 Recently, I got the very awesome opportunity to meet with the Mortuary Sciences supervisor at the Glendale Forest Lawn memorial park. This actually was doable because of Fett, who has a relative in the family who works in the field, and was able to get me a one on one meeting. When he told me that this was a thing I lost myself in excitement. What an incredible opportunity!
Guys, I went out and bought heels and a pencil skirt.

Can I just say how awful pencil skirts are? It's impossible to walk properly in them because they constrict how far you can step forward. Who the hell invented these and thought they were a good idea!? GIVE ME SOME PLEATS, MAN. I CAN'T STRIDE IN THIS SHIT. It looked conservative and presentable but the functionality was abysmal. yuck. definitely desk job attire, for sure.
And don't even get me started on the heels. I'm a boot person. Or platforms. Pointed shoes are a no no for me. I just like my feet to remain petite, and little. Pointed shoes give off the effect of longer feet, also because you have to get them a size bigger, and aesthetically that's not my preference. but I got these heels, these ugly ass office heels, in my actual size, and they're kinda pointed, and they're so awful. It hurt to walk in them. I took them off when I drove home. ugh.... WHY!?!? WHY DO YOU LADIES WEAR THESE THINGS!? HOW DO YOU HAUL ASS ANYWHERE W/ THIS SHIT??
I felt like I was walking really awkwardly too, because my weight distribution in my heels didn't feel ... natural.

  this is probably what it looked like while I was walking around in them. And they weren't even anything significant. They're 3 inch heels, but they felt like shit, lol. I can walk in 8 inch platform heel boots no problem, but just heels are just... ugh. awful.

Anyway, I met with her and we talked for an hour in one of the rooms. She gave me a TON of insight on the field, what it's like to work in all the different areas, advice, shared her own experiences going to school and working full time simultaneously, and told me basically everything I needed to hear about what it takes to make it in the industry. It was a massive eye opener, and gave me much more perspective on what I was really pursuing. And it all only reinforced my drive to get it done. Despite the billions of classes I have to take before even getting in the program... I want it, and it won't be easy, and it's gonna suck ass for a good part of my life, but I want it. 

I walked out of there with more drive to get into the program, and with a new contact and essential bridge. She told me that if I ever needed anything or ever had any questions, that she would be there for me to help me out as much as she could. She suggested applying anywhere, in any of the areas to get started because I'd have to work all of them eventually at some point, and it's a great way to get your foot in. I've heard this before also from another person, one of my awesome regulars from my old store, Jim, who also worked with Forest Lawn, and he gave me a lot of insight as well.

It's just really great to have these contacts. It's a support and knowing that they want to help and guide me that makes me look forward to it even more.

Incoming review

Guys, I can't stop playing The Evil Within. I just wanna beat it already. It's nothing original, or even all that scary really. I like the gore and shock factor, and the story is passable. Vindictive ghost villain exploiting learned science research to act out his vengeance over family drama. Protagonist is a detective, yadda yadda, unfold the past of this angry ghost. Big haunted mansion, church, medical facility, etc etc. There are jump scares here and there, and I like what they did w/ the way you level your weapons. What keeps me hooked is how difficult it is. It'll feel really good to finally finish it. It's almost gotten to a point now though to be honest that it just doesn't move me at all, or rather frighten me. I keep analyzing everything because it's just really easy to do so anymore.
In my experience, what really gets me on the edge of my seat and my heart pounding while playing a survival horror is never knowing what's around the corner; to allow your mind the dreadful task of creating a monster all on its own without actually seeing one yet. The adrenaline comes in with the atmosphere, the sounds, the environment, and lastly.. the glimpse of a thing that's watching you, or waiting for you.
The Evil Within gives you a front and center, plain as day, view of every creature you fight, over and over and over, from the getgo which I feel is where there was opportunity to torment the player a little more.. or at least for me. If they would've used more subtlety with their creatures, had less of them scattered around everywhere, and used the environment and atmosphere to their advantage it would've upped the creep factor tenfold.
Also, the over-abundance of wheelchairs and gurneys was at most, redundant. After a while it got tired seeing them thrown about everywhere, and instead of adding creep factor, it just began to make me question how these all even got here to begin with, completely negating and killing the vibe intended throughout gameplay.

I'm not even kidding;

 But, I will finish it. Eventually. It's definitely not easy, so I keep ragequitting.
Steam is having an insane sale right now, and I got Among the Sleep. AND Fett literally just surprised me 10 mins ago with Fable Anniversary edition! I'll have plenty to keep me busy between school and work.

Today I'm going to be taking all my things over to Fetts' place to get settled in. He's coming over in a bit to help me haul all my shit over. He's completely dreading this trip, lol =\
Oh, as for Long Beach Comic Con... I'll be attending with my friend Judy. If Fett finds himself not super crazy overwhelmed and jetlaggy, he'll come along, but we'll see.
I bought some stuff to wear that weekend for Sunday :P I'll be there as Leechwoman on Saturday, aaaannd hopefully someone picks up what I'm trying to pull off the next day! haha.
I wouldn't call it cosplay... or if it is.. it'll be reaaaallly subtle. Either way, it'll be cute. I'm excited!

School is going as well as it can get. I have to try to understand my professor a little more... it's difficult to know what it is he wants exactly. Like, on our first quiz, he wanted us to answer 3 questions, write it in MLA format, on lined paper, and it was just really... awkward.
I failed it because the margins weren't 1 inch, and he wrote plagiarism under the 3rd answer. It was a quiz on the syllabus... I thought he wanted to see that I read the damn syllabus but... I don't know. It was just really weird, and I didn't pass it. I failed that stupid fucking quiz.
I don't know what he wants. He's not clear. It's confusing. It's going to be a long semester. After this I have to take 1 more English class, and then I think I'll be done. I know I have to take a critical thinking class too... idk. I'll have to check. Over the summer I'm going to try to get the two classes I didn't get this semester. It's gonna suck ass, but it'll only be for 5 weeks and it'll expedite things a little bit. Anatomy and Math....   oi....
may the gods have mercy on my soul.... x_x

jesus, that's going to suck. so. much. ugh...
maybe I should take another English instead of Math... fuck I don't know. Either way it's going to be insane. I took a summer term before and it wasn't so bad. Just had to study a lot. And he liked me because I was quiet and paid attention.
but I have no choice. I have to do it. At least the Fall will be less crappy. If I can just knock out Anatomy I should be good to get more classes in the Fall that shouldn't be too intense. I'd like to take 16 units in the Fall, but we'll see where I am with work and such.

Now I'm just rambling.
yeah, I don't have any photos to share.

except for this selfie I took in the parking lot of my campus.
Companion Cube game strong.

Oh, I canceled my WoW sub.
Yep, nothing going on. Guild leader's got a baby on the way and he's gotta focus on that anyway. No one's really been on, at least not when I logged on so I've been neglecting it. Either way, it's no loss to me. I used to cling on to that game so much, but ever since I've taken initiative to do other stuff and find other things to do I don't feel I need WoW as a crutch anymore. It's different for everyone, but I've been happier, and WoW used to be the only thing that could assist me in making the days feel less crappy.

Anyway, I'm gonna play some Evil Within before Fett heads over here.

Crash

   Stress is dumb. To even say that I've been stressed out would be an understatement.
Of course, with everything that's awesome comes the not-so-awesome parts, and right now my life is full of that.

I thought that stress would be isolated to my work, but no. My stupidity landed me in another pit of lamentation that could've so easily been avoided-- but no. I'm just stupid. One would think that after 2 semesters of college I'd understand how it all works; these degree things. Turns out, I didn't have a fucking clue, and under a completely different impression. Thankfully, the classes I took were not in vain, and went towards the billions of general ed classes that I have to take in addition to the pre-requisites in order to get into the program I want.
So for the next 900 semesters... I have to get those general ed classes out of the way. And maybe when I'm 72, I'll finally get into the program.. to embalm myself with my tears.

Today was the first day of classes, and being the dumbass that I am, mistakenly, last night I dropped one of my classes that I needed to get into another one (same class, earlier in the day) so that I wouldn't have a 7 hour time gap between classes. That gap was reserved for another class that I wanted, but it filled up because I read my registration appointment wrong, and missed my deadline, and didn't get in. So... I see this other class that's clickable still, and doesn't have a 'C' next to it (closed), but it wouldn't let me add it to my classes, because it was a duplicate course.

SO I DROPPED MY CLASS FOR THAT ONE, ONLY TO BE TOLD IT WAS FULL, AND CLOSED.

I tried to get back into my original class, but it was full. So, I basically fucked myself over and have to wait until next semester to take it. I saw that same course at Fullerton and signed up for that one, but I was on a waiting list, and when I got to Fullerton, the residential area with tons of cars and no parking and a billion students stressed me out and I came home.

Today I saw the counselor for my division; she gave me the impression that she either hated her job or didn't get her lunch break yet. I was already a nervous wreck going in to talk to her, and she treated me like.... idek. The whole conversation was off putting and intimidating. But I got the info I needed to try to graduate before I die. so. It was worth it. So much for that.

I just can't believe I'm only taking one class this semester. It kills me. It's so much wasted time and gas over something so stupid. but I've already accepted that I'm going to be knocking out gen ed courses for the next 18 years so.... whatever. I guess. sigh.
Things would be so much easier if I was a full time student and didn't have to worry about work.

Work.

ugh.

I want to talk about it, but I can't. because I'm sure some snitch will show someone what was written and get me fired. God forbid I express my concerns about my work environment on my own fucking site.

Aside from all that... Everything else is fine. I can pay my bills and rent, so ... that's what matters, right? I'm independent. have a job, a car, support myself, and... yeah.
awesome. i'm an adult. doing things adults should be doing.

fyi, if you're not going to school and you're bumming off your parents you're kind of a disgrace.
there's already a taboo for dudes that live w/ their parents after a certain age, but this should apply to everybody. or don't know how to drive and you're a grown ass person. Maybe you lost your car, but at least you know how to fucking drive

just pisses me off. I have a vicious respect for people who juggle all kinds of shit in their life in hopes of eventually finding serenity. and then I've met and known of people who just bum off others, who are in their mid or late 20's, 30's even, and don't do jack shit all day. Can't get around anywhere by themselves or do anything without asking their parents for money. Call it envy, I'd love to mooch off someone and be a lazy ass for the rest of my life... I think everybody would, but I also have a sense of pride that my stubbornness won't let me live down.

ugh.


I'm venting and rambling.
I don't really want anyone to talk to, I just needed to get this out. Everything is irritating me.

I forgot to get gas on the way home.
Calling corporate irritates me.
This level I'm stuck on in The Evil Within irritates me.
Being made to leave my store irritates me.
My class this semester almost put me to sleep.... this irritates me.
The dishes in the sink that have been there for a month after Bo cleaned the whole fucking kitchen by himself irritate me.



--- but...
Yesterday, two special ladies came over to pick me up to grab dinner at Hooters!

 Judy and Alexis.

Judy has made another appearance here on a previous entry :D

It was just what I needed after my last day. They even got me a little card. I'm going to miss them, and everyone there so much. It was so incredibly sweet for them to set this up. Pulled at my heart strings and was really touching. Thank you ladies. You don't know how moving this was for me. You made me feel like my presence there mattered. And I'll miss you both so much!

 I guess I can post this without worrying that someone will report me because I'm no longer their supervisor, ha. What a dumb policy. As if you don't create bonds with the people you work with... yeah. right.
"You can't be their friend, you're their boss"

sure yeah ok.

And on my last day, Judy got me this little gift that blew me away:

I KNOW RIGHT?!(say hi to Spike)
For those who don't know....

das me. 

yuh.

The most pain in the ass cosupray ever. YOU'D THINK IT WOULDN'T BE, REALLY, RIGHT?

No, it is.

So yeah, she got me le Bride and of course... I got emotional and almost cried and hugs and yeah. 

This was at work, lol. In front of everyone. I kinda wanted to rub it in peoples' face like HAH. YEAH. YOU'RE MAKING ME LEAVE BUT EVERYONE HERE LOVES ME, HMPH.

That's not a very nice thing to do but that's how I felt, lol. 

Eventually, we're all gonna go to the museum of death (again) because we bonded over our fascination of serial killers. If I could bake not half-assed, I'd totally make cupcakes with sliced marzipan dicks and gore and share them with those two. We could discuss all of the things, like how abusive/neglectful parents create and breed pedophiles, sociopaths, and murderers over delicious entrail cuppicakes and tea, and it would be marvelous. teehee! ^_^

ooh, now I'm hungry.

and now I'm not feeling as stressed. yay!

Impact

  My friend Jason wins the random award. 

Didn't even know there was a random award, but there is. He texts me last week:

I can't say no to him and I feel he knows this and is abusing it.
Evil, evil man.

So, I couldn't say no, and got dressed to head out there. It was far, lol.
I don't really have anything princessy whatsoever. but he said to go w/ one of my dresses and to just be myself. So I wore this long flow-y dress and used a shaw to make a hood. Lots of princesses wear hoods, right? Sure. Hello, Jasmine?

When I got there, it turned out to be this huge mansion the production was renting out. I thought it was gonna be this dumpy little thing or a music video but... yeah. it wasn't, lol. waivers, etc. Was cool though, they had cake. :D
Eventually though, wardrobe and make up departments opted for me to wear something entirely different. I changed into this blue ball gown, let my locks down but tied back so they weren't as noticeable, and had my make-up redone entirely. Once I was done w/ my dress, they sent me over to make up where I was pleasantly surprised to see Jason's lady makin everyone pretty!
Jason's got dat azn fever too.

 She wouldn't stay still. lol

My eyebrows and lips and face was done entirely.

She used all kinds of layers that I never bother with, and it made my face look glazed over and flawless... it was weird. lol but it looked cool. I have to wonder how many girls use that many layers of make up on their face.

 She apparently also does freelance, which I never knew

 When she was done we went back downstairs to the waiting area to find all the other extras and Jason sitting in a corner. I call him to get his attention and he gives me a derpy grin lol

 Geoff was also there, thank goodness. Now I had someone to make ugly faces

 Jason's lady came down later to work on a beard weft. Apparently she does all that shit too! Makes wigs and wefts and hair thingies and whatnots.

 Suddenly the beard ended up becoming chest hair, and pit hair, and butt hair, and all the hairs. and this was Geoff:

 crotch beard.

I was there for like 5 hours. It was fun. Lots of waiting around, and eating cake. I'm thankful that Jason invited me :) 

Once they wrapped our part the extras went back upstairs to change, but we were stuck up there until they wrapped the next scene they were shooting. 

I guess my rogue princess attire didn't make the cut, but I got some compliments on my outfit anyway! Yay!

When I got home I had a glamor shoot in my bedroom.

But Cynthia, what's this being filmed for?
Well, readers. LET ME TELL YOU.

no, here just watch this:

   

Hercules and Drusilla are gonna be in it.

Jason wrote all the songs!

Soooo, yeah. It was cool. Fun times :D cake was good.

I wish I could express my feels with some of the things going on in my life, but I won't, at least not for now. What I can tell is that my coworker brought me a bouquet of flowers one night because I was having a bad day. She saw me come in for my shift earlier, and everything was a wreck, and I just died inside because of how much was on my shoulders, coupled with other things. I almost cried when she handed these to me. After work I brought them over to Fett's place and left them there as there was no room at my place. They survived 3 days! haha, but they were very lovely. Thank you, Judy. You made my day so much better :)

 Also, it had been like years since I had hamburger helper, and I got the enchilada one, and prepared it. but on the box it said I could add a twist and add some black beans to it, and I was like omg that sounds so awesome. but... I didn't have any black beans in my cupboard.
FORTUNATELY, I did have some pinto beans, and added those instead.

it was the greatest thing in the world.
now I'm gonna make it a thing to try all of the hamburger helper thingies. I had forgotten how delicious they were.
yeah, it was that big of a deal.

And... 

Fett took us on a surprise date the other night.

I've been feeling really stressed, and sad. One evening that we were talking on the phone I had zero desire to talk about anything (i know that's normal for me, but it was extra meh).

Was just really bleh and depressed. 

I decided to go to bed early, but couldn't get to sleep. Then later Fett messaged me with something important, and then added as we were saying goodbye that we had reservations at a restaurant the next day at 8pm and to be at his place no later than 7.

I got cute for him and headed over. 

He took us back to the Little Door in Beverly Hills.

 We drink water at upscale restaurants.

Ugh, what did I do to deserve this man.
I would've been happy with waking up next to him, but he went above and beyond... again.

This place is absolutely beautiful. They had lovely exotic music playing and the atmosphere is just... really nice. It's dark, feels like you're outside somewhere far away...

While we were ordering, he ordered the cheese plate without my realizing it. When they brought it out I looked at him like YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH, DON'T YOU?!
It was hxc cheese guys.
There were two different kinds of blue cheese, gouda, brie with apples dressed in vinegar, and there was one more kind of cheese that I couldn't figure out. they were all super hxc real, raw cheese. it was intense, lol. I've never tasted such intense cheese in my life! hahaha
The blue cheese wasn't fucking around. Thankfully the plate came with walnut bread to reset your palate. Kinda the way ginger works with sushi. Everything paired really well, amazingly.
And he also ordered the octopus appetizer for us.

ugh he's so amazing. wish I could hug him right now, but he's gotta work on homework tonight and be up for work in the morning.

Thank you for all that you do, darleeng! 

On Tuesday, Pamela and I went out for lunch to catch up and stuff. I told her that I would take her to Little Tokyo one of these days for her to try Mr. Ramen. She loves ramen now, and I'm excited to show her everything down there!

 Every time I go to Jinya I always get the same thing, lol. Mr. Ramen is the only place where I feel I can experiment and never go wrong.

 Following lunch we went upstairs to Michael's and picked up some thingies. She's gonna learn to knit chainmail, and I have been meaning to pick up some dye for my Leech woman dress. I also got another candle because... you know. I'm only down to two left with this new one I bought =\

 AND I found this guy on ebay for super cheap because one of his hooks were broken. It was a fucking steal. He's rare, and discontinued, and not to mention the object of my desire. So.
^_^ now he and Spike hang out together on my dresser.
Love ya, boo.

AND FINALLY

this.

Like I can't describe how floored I was when this came into my life

I was at work, and one of our regulars messaged me saying that he had something he wanted me to have that's been collecting dust on his shelf. He was aware that my last day at work is Saturday, so he wanted to stop in and drop it off for me.

I was in the backroom doing an inventory count when someone cames back to get me telling me that Ryan was there. I go out to greet him and he holds this up

I squeak SO LOUD and lose my shit in a burst of giggles that I go back into the back room to compose myself and come back out again in disbelief, lol

He's standing there laughing and hands it to me. It's a laser disc set, and also the script with illustrations of the characters. I don't have a player, but it's definitely getting framed. I couldn't believe it. He said he noticed my posts lately about Hellraiser and wanted to give this collector's set a new home, so... tadaa! lol. 

You know in spite of the negative stuff I've been dealing with, a lot of good has also come of it because of other peoples' kindness and generosity, and compassion. So for that I am extremely grateful, and thankful. It makes me feel like my presence there meant something, that I had a bit of an impact on somebody. And I need to remember that more often.

I know that I am a pretty cynical person in general, but I also genuinely enjoy having a positive impact on people, and when they go out of their way for me displaying this, it brings me joy. So...

Thank you, guys. Truly. 

And... on a last note

Judy and another co-worker are treating me to Hooters on Sunday as a goodbye thing. 

Those tater tots are gonna taste awesome with a side of shit talking.

Savory

    Guys. I can't stop eating cheese.
I need help. At this point I wouldn't be surprised if I turned into a wheel of havarti by the time I'm 70... if I don't devour myself first. And like, 2 weeks ago my body had a bad reaction to my consumption of cheese (I had a LOT.. like an entire package of lunch cheese) but now I think my enzymes are back on track. They got their asses handed to them I guess, I don't know.
Havarti is so good.
SPEAKING OF DEVOURING MYSELF

I don't know why but one of my favorite things to talk about when I meet new people is Armin Meiwes. It's a great ice breaker.

"Hi, I'm Cynthia............................ oh that's fun. did you know about the dude who cut off his lovers' penis and ate it with him? yeah, they couldn't chew it much so they had to fry it."

this is the part where people either stop talking to me or are fascinated, hesitate to comes to terms w/ their fascination, and then finally relax and join in on the commentary.

.... Cynthia.. why do you know this?
WELL, LET ME TELL YOU.

Long time ago I saw this super neato film called Feed. The intro was a scene where these detectives break into a house, walked through the kitchen to find a penis frying in a skillet, and find themselves breaking a door down into the upstairs bathroom exposing two men; one standing in the tub, blood everywhere, cascading out of his groin where his penis used to be, and another kneeling before him with a knife and fork, blood and tissue (body, not toiletry) smeared along his grinning face. The two detectives gasp and cover their mouths in horror, to only be scolded by the man in the tub who screamed "I want to be eaten!!!"


That scene stuck with me (because I'm just really weird) and eventually, out of playful curiosity I googled something along the lines of man eats penis. That's when I learned of the man who inspired that scene in the movie: Armin Meiwes.. and his voluntary muse, Bernd Brandes. I studied all there was to know about Meiwes. He had a shitty upbringing (surprise) and became a favorite I guess you could say 'figure' of mine.

Fun Fact: Armin was a total Trekkie.

Sadly, on our trip to the Museum of Death earlier last year I don't recall seeing anything about Meiwes, but I could've simply just missed it. 

So the other day, out of nowhere,

I think I had brought up Meiwes in conversation again, I was inspired to make cute things. Noob Charm things. so I did.

They're cupcakes! ^_^ YUM! They're Meiwes cupcakes because he ate Brandes after puncturing his throat. Brandes was in the bathtub for 3 hours, bleeding, until Meiwes finally came up and killed him. He dismembered him and stored all of the meat in a freezer for like 6 months, and ate it regularly.
See? that's Brandes' bipper, and his innards, and his braaaaaiin, and the one w/ the maggots is a what if scenario had he survived and his missing bipper hole place would've gotten infected! :D

Is this weird?
lol, the whole thing is just so fascinating to me. I wish I could study their minds. Why Meiwes felt the desires he did, and why Brandes was so set on wanting to have his penis bitten off and eaten. He even offered generous amounts of money to prostitutes, but they could never bring themselves to do it. Don't worry... everything was consensual, believe it or not. Brandes sought Meiwes out! yup yup.

Anywho, that's some backstory on these pieces. I will be selling them very soon. They need to be made into charms, and for that to happen I need to wait for my order to arrive. I will be making more, just like these if these do well. But if they don't, it wouldn't surprise me whatsoever.
Fucked up, huh?
Well, it's easier to see things from a different perspective when you detach yourself from your default settings. The one that makes you wanna say "EW, NO WAY" and reject it immediately. It's a defense mechanism-- it's your brain telling you those images are bad, dangerous. Avoid. but if you push through that reflex and ask questions, you'll discover truths, and learn about things that are seldom understood.
but that's just me. I like asking questions. It's hard to me to just take things at face value..
if something happens I want to know about the catalysts, and analyze the timeline. What led to what and why. Not...
this happened... so THIS. and that's IT.
It's NEVER like that. Not the way the world works. I'm sure many would find that ideal and to their benefit..... ahem...  but that's not how it works. because there are people like me who analyze everything and will figure it out. ;)


MOVING ON

 

 New Years celebration!
Spent it with Fetts' family at his paretns' house. Everyone got drunk (including yours truly, but I was probably the least drunk there-- I'm sure of it) except for Fett. We all played Cards Against Humanity until midnight, and then sang karaoke in their living room. That's was a first for me. Liquid courage, they call it.... accurate. Poor Fett.
Thankfully neither one of us had work the following day, so we got to sleep in forevvveerr and it was soooo goooood, lol.


And!
New piercing things!

 I had off on a Saturday, so I was like dang I'm gonna go do stuff! And I did.
Steve's awesome. He's my go-to piercey guy forever.

 Following that I decided to go to Little Tokyo. It had been a long time since I'd visited, so the treat was nice. First thing I did was go to that.... area. W/ the red pillars. and stuff.
STRAIGHT to the bakery.

 Curry chicken steam bun mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
so gooood
And from there I just walked around for a bit, and eventually made my way over to the square to stop in Marukai and grab some snackies.
That's when Sandy and Brian totally snuck up behind me!

 lol it was the most random thing ever. but what a delight to see them! We chatted a bit, and they invited me to join them for din din. :)

 We went w/ Curry House because mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

curry.

 UGH.

IT'S SO GOOD.

And after that we went into the book store, where I picked up two new manga volumes aaaaaand we called it a night. It was good times, we caught up and got to vent a little. Was nice. 

She gets it, lol. She KNOWS. lol she's been there. It was just really cool.

Trying to get OUT of LT however was a fucking disaster.

 No clue what was happening that evening but I was stuck down there for 2 hours. Not even anywhere near the highways. The traffic was SO backed up they had to have 4 lights directed by those... traffic cop people. 1st street, 2nd street, 3rd and 4th street were all closed off. No where to go, no where to turn, just waiting. Couldn't even move forward when the lights turned green, it was awful. I left LT heading for my car at 5:45. Didn't get home til almost 8. 

but I did go home w/ some stuff that makes me happy ^_^ so, it was okay!

 
And in the following week, Fett, our friend Heather, and I went out for dinner at Ramen Jinya.
 Heather is a big horror movie fan, and I'm always trying to convince him (yes him, don't ask) to cosplay as Julia (Hellraiser) because we're both equally HR fan girls, but he woooon't. Instead he's looking for the entire book collection. I wanna help him find it; he said it's called Hellbound, and it has all of the movies in one book. I've seen the individual volumes, but not the version he was talking about. I was telling him how similarly I was looking for the graphic novels, and he suggested going to the Illiad.

 AND THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HEATHER-PATRICE-NON-BO-BEATHER AND I LOVE HIM.

 Fett and I went the next day and SCORE.

Heather was totally right. Thank you, Heather :*

 And then a few days ago, Fett and I were driving around doing errands when... I don't remember why but I started talking about the 5 taste receptors on your tongue. There was one that I couldn't remember, but was explaining how umami is the japanese word for savory or flavorful. and he goes ".... we can go to umami burger if you want" and I was like
    O___O           yes, dear.

mmmpf. it was pretty awesome. 

garlic mayo, are you kidding me!?!? THAT'S MY LIFE.

GARLIC EVERYTHING PLOX.

garlic in my ramen? HOKAY

garlic in my bread? UH, YA

garlic in my butter for my pizza? ffffffffffffffffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFYES.

aaaahh I love garlic

garlic and cilantro.

oh god, cilantro. just... a respirator. full of garlic and cilantro. in my face.

agh.

Even Meiwes used garlic to season the penis. black pepper, salt... 

not even kidding.

cooking condiments and spices are so wonderful.

#Spanish

 is everyone sufficiently confused about their appetite right now?