MOVED - UPDATE

  OH MY GOD

   I'M OFFICIALLY IN ANAHEIM. Finally!
That was the most drawn out move ever, lol. But, I'm happy to say that everything I needed to... well almost everything, address has been taken care of. The only thing I need to do now is gather all my tax shit (which I'm still trying to find) and send it off to my friend Ponies, who's been so patient with me. He's probably over my bullshit by now, but he's doing my taxes for me. I feel horrible for putting it off this long. I'M SORRY PONIES! I'm a mess!


LORT, where do I start?
Shall we make a list? Cynthia quite likes lists. damn virgos and their shitty lists..

Lets see...

• ah, yes. Valentine's day.
• court hearing
• moving
• Long Beach Comic Expo
• Pasadena Comic Con

did I miss anything? I don't think so.

Can I just point out that before I moved down here, I was going out to eat A LOT.
Like, a lot. After I put down my deposit for the new place, I just went batshit crazy with food and said fuck it, I'm moving. EAT ALL OF THE THINGS AT ALL OF THE PLACES AND DO YOU, BABY GRLLL

 Like, I went to this place in Old Town Pasadena.

 Look at that fucking broth.

Look at it.

It was pretty dope.

 Went with this fool. He lives near there.

Cynthia has a problem with ramen, so we compromised.

AND TO MY PLEASANT SURPRISE, CHRISTINE WORKS THERE!?!?

We were sitting there waiting for our food when she comes over and is like, CYNCHA?!

and I was like, HO MEI GAHH

and we were both like, NO WEI

and Stephan was like, o___o;;

I tell the best stories.

I had no clue she worked there! She tells me they have chefs from fucking Japan, and like, they had just come back from a trip there to do RAMEN TRAINING. TO LIKE, MAKE IT LEGIT.

And I was like, whoa. that's so fucking cool.

because it fucking IS

I hadn't seen her in a while, we're both working students with limited schedules so it's hard to get together, but this was an awesome treat. I miss her. She's loads of fun! I'll have to try and plan a thing so we can hang out again. Bless that girl and her penis face

And then soon after, I went out to get Thai food. Because I was hungry.

 Recommended by this fool.

This time, it was close to my place and I was totes okay with that.

 We ordered entirely way too much food, like nubs. 

And learned that "medium spicy" in Thailand is actually code for "red dwarf star essence."

he's like,
a geisha.

       
    




          | V A L E N T I N E ' S    D A Y |

   Let me just start by saying that I am a selfish shit on Valentine's Day. It's been a thing for me, personally, to take myself to Little Tokyo every year on this day and treat myself to lunch. Whether or not I'm in a relationship with someone makes no difference. Because fuck it, Cynthia needs to love Cynthia, and that's the only person who's gonna make Cynthia happy in this lifetime, SO. 

   HOWEVER-- this year was a little different. I had someone join me in my little outing. It was nice. Cliche and weird, but nice.  

RAMEN.

Don't ask me why I settled for Orochan ramen.

Worst decision of MY LIFE

but.

it is what it is.

 Stuffed our fucking faces, it was awesome though.

 Clearly, I was accompanied by Stephan on this eve.

yeah okay, brains relax.

ok?

relax...

 don't.... try to get ahead of me. 

don't.

r e l a x    

w/ that shit.

 ANOTHER pleasant surprise... Stephan's sister used to work at the place right next door to the mochi place we went to, and dude working there recognized him. So he only charged us 2 dorrar for everything we got. It was DOPE. 

These... 

these are the connections that really matter, guys.

Food connections.

Food ones.

With the exception of Orochan, it was a fun evening.

I bought manga, and was gifted a ton of pocky by Stephan who was trying to be polite lol

(of which we forgot in his car and is holding hostage and probably ate all of by now)

but it was a good day.

 what r u doing..

 i went home and collapsed onto the floor.

 sleeping on the floor sucks.

was that mentioned?

ugh.

this was me for like 2 weeks, lol. 

But, admittedly over time I think I got used to it and surprisingly, my back wasn't hurting as much anymore when I'd wake up. I think I just needed to like... learn how to sleep straight or something? 

Apparently I was sleeping all kinds of twisted which is what was fucking me up before, but yeah. Not comfortable, but apparently better for my back.

 BUT... as soon as I got confirmation from my work that the transfer went through, I packed up the last of the bigger stuff (PC, desk, chair, extra pillows/blankets) and hauled all that to my new place in Anaheim.

 Freya immediately greeted me and made sure my things felt right at home by sitting on and walking over all of it.
It was pretty much just blankets, pillows, make up, clothes, and my little netbook w/ me in that room until I finished out my work week. GOOD TIMES, lol.
Also, no internet. My saving grace w/ my external hard drive that had all the seasons of Sex and City on it, so I basically just binge watched that, avoiding using up the data on my phone since the internet was shut off.


BUT THAT WEEKEND WAAAAASSSSSS....

L O N G   B E A C H   C O M I C    E X P O

 fuck I missed cons. I missed it so much. That weekend, I stayed here in Anaheim and just drove there both days. The first day, I went alone.
Once I got there, I was kinda meh because it'd been forever and I didn't know who all was going or who I'd run into.

 So I just walked around and looked at stuff aimlessly. Gradually getting bored and wondering what I should

 Until Brian and Sandy spotted me!! ^_^
It was SO good seeing them! They've been putting in so much work for the last two months they've been here. I've been wanting to meet up w/ them, I still have their order!!!! If I had known they'd be there I would've brought it, but apparently they've been assembling clone trooper armor for like... EVERYONE EVER. For 2 months.
That's insane.
They've been busy potatoes.
But I'm gonna bug them to meet up before they leave. They're staying until after Wondercon, so if all else fails I'll give them their stuff then, but it'd be nice to see them outside of a con. They're cool.
And they're probably the most hxc SW fans I've ever met.
Like, I've known them for YEARS, and they just faceplanted HARD into Star Wars, lol.

 Sandy!

 hmm?

 *pew pew!*

(she missed. haha!)

And then at that moment, I got the most random call from my friend Anthony. Had no clue he'd be here too, but he was! He needed me to help him w/ something, and to meet him outside. 

Imma helper. Me likey helpy. So I go do that.

 BUT LEMME TAKE SOME PICHAS FIRST

 oh well HI

He needed help putting on his Hulk Buster cosplay! 

When I got there, he was unloading it out of his parents' car. Dustin showed up shortly after

 Definitely needed help. We ended up being his handlers, lol.

Dustin left early but I stuck around w/ him because he'd probably die. He kind of almost did.

We'll get to that later.

 but he looked awesome!!!!

I remember he came as the Hulk Buster last year, at LBCC and entered the costume contest. 

Unfortunately he didn't win, but this year he wanted to give it another go.

 YAY ANTHONY!

 And we were off.

Baby steps.

Up the little hill towards the parking garage.

 Oh, I recently, like a day ago, replaced the camera on my Galaxy S4 because of this shit.

The old one was exposed, and fucked up. So... know how some of my photos are foggy, or the white balance is off? Yeah... the sun made the flaws clearer. You'll see the difference later on.

 But as soon as we got up the hill, Anthony was stopped and the photos / cosplay videographers swamped him. This was for a cosplay m/v.

 They wanted him emerging from the garage, all dramatic like.

 Then another srs photog stole him. but wanted him to go to the top level of the garage and we were like  -______________________-;; hokay.
We wiggled him into the elevator and he slowly baked under the Long Beach sun inside the costume for a solid 12 minutes.

 Dustin transformed into a magical girl.

 A racist magical girl

even though he himself is asian

 saving the world one stereotype at a time

 Once finished, we wiggled him into the elevator again and made our way towards the entrance, when we spotted the ESTAR GUARS cosplayers!!!!

ESTAR GUARS, EH

I love these guys so much. I've seen them before at Comikaze and lost my shit.

This time I was able to talk to them a little bit and get to know them. They're so chill and down to earth. And... FUNNY STORY....

TURNS OUT... well.. 

I shouldn't, but... point is... 

it's a small world.

 BABIESSSSSSS SOOO CUUUUUTTEE

 Chocolate milk break. It was only 8769238759823 degrees out.

 Then we went inside and walking was like nope.

 But eventually we made it to the con floor.
Good times.

 Met Matt.

Batman said something rude and I guess Matt has some weird anger issues and almost killed him?

 but he got him a card saying sorry. Nice guy

 He stopped to take a picture with me. 

The honor was mine.

Because he's definitely not Kylo Ren.

He's just some radar technician guy... yeah.

 FUNNY STORY #2

Long Beach Comic Expo used Anthony's likeness for promotion without his permission, lol?

There was a photo of a Delta and Little Sister from Bioshock 2 on the first page, and that's totally him. lol... No credit, no nothing. Not even the photog's info. 

yeah. just thought i'd mention it.

 when i send sexy selfies, they're of me in the bathroom making defective faces.

correction. I only sent one, to one person because he wanted to see what I cosplayed as. 

he was not surprised.

 hungry cynth is hungry

 Desiree was a hobbit!!!!!

lol so damn cute

 AAAAWWWWWWWW

JOSE AND JOHN

 They are adorable. Like, when you look at their faces, it's like... whoa.

Their features are crazy striking.

 I love them, they're so chill. 

Always good to see them. Hopefully we're gonna meet up at Wondercon for Zelda stuffs. I'm busting out the Poe. Speaking of which... I should probably like, work on my lantern. >_< damnit

 ALVIN

 :D

 ^_^

 wao

lol aaaaahhhh I missed him.

 Can I just gush about how much I love seeing all my con friends?
Can I do that? Because I do.
They make it feel like home.
You guys make the cons so much more fun and seeing you makes my fucking day. For seriously.
I LOVE YOU GUYS T____T

 So like, it was getting sorta close to the time to register for the costume contest, and we kept getting different directions from people. And we ended up in the basement somewhere on Saturn.

 Security heard us and came down quick, lol.

They escorted us in the right direction to get to where we needed to be xD

 WHERE WE SAW THE ESTAR GUARS GUYS AGAIN

but this time they dragged out their son with them xDDD

 brilliant.

fucking brilliant.

yo mira, es 3 generations

 D O P E  AS  FUK

 CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE

 took forever to set up for the contest, but once it got going it went pretty quickly. 

Can't see her too well but that chick C-3PO was cute

 No surprise here, Estar Guars won best group :P

OF COURSE THEY DID

 And Anthony WON BEST FABRICATION!!!

He won a good chunk of change. It was AWESOME! I was so happy for him! 

He worked so hard on that cosplay, upgrading it and tweaking it.

He even bled for it lol.

At one point while waiting for the contest, he tried to haul the top half of his costume over his head by himself, and snagged the edge of a rogue staple rigth into the skin of his temple. 

It CAUGHT there. I didn't realize what was happening and went to grab the costume to lift it off of him until he said it's caught on me. He had to pull the costume downward to wedge the stapler out, still attached to the costume, and then lift it up over his head to take it off.

there was blood.

a lot of it.

it was running down the side of his face.

 BUT HE WON :D

If he had cried, he would've shed blood, sweat, and tears for his cosplay, lol.

2/3 isn't bad though.

 You did it! 

Proud of you!

Look him up. He's Blue Reaper on Facebook and @bluereaper923 on Instagram 

He makes and builds all of this shit from bottom up. And builds props as well. Insane talent.

I'm gonna do a collab with him for a cosplay I've been wanting to do for a while, but never really was motivated to before. But... with him I think it'll be dope.

DAY 2 | LBCE

 My day started with a hungry me, and a hungry Stephan.
I can't take that kid anywhere. He turns into an angry Vietnamese store owner and the accent never stops.
Like, ordering at Panda Express was hilarious and awful. at the same time.
lord


Okay so, lol we get there and sit outside to eat when this other Hulk Buster shows up

and we don't talk about him.

he's good. but we don't talk about him.

 

 It's a good morning to be Left Shark and Darth Vader. 

Together.

 This Sally instantly caught my eye. Super cute!

 So we're walking around the con when suddenly 

A RANDOM COOKING KNIVES BOOTH APPEARS

And Stephan looses his shit because he went to cooking school and likes this shit

 So he starts cutting fucking potatoes and carrots and shit

He didn't buy anything. It was hard not to lol at the guy's pitch because I knew he wasn't going to buy anything, but he was pitching so hard that it was hard to stop him, so he just kept cutting veggies lol.

 This Uncle Fester had a working light bulb in his mouth. 

I was impressed.

 BABBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYY

 Ran into Matt again.

Stephan was sick of his shit and yelled at him about a muffin.

Jerkface.

 WINNER

HE WINS EVERYTHING

HE NEEDS TO GO TO AN OPRAH FILMING IN THAT COSPLAY AND JUST WIN EVERYTHING. EVEN EVERYONE ELSE'S FREE SHIT

JUST WIN IT

 This wasn't weird.

Those are condoms.

 One of my housemates set out condoms on the coffee table and wrote like, "take me!" on them or something in sharpee. So Stephan takes them.

 This was like... in the beginning of February when I was taking my furniture apart to move to Anaheim.

He pulls them out of his pocket, apparently forgetting they're in there and just sets them on the table.

Reaction is legit feels.

Anthony's face was great because he was just like.... HOW DO I RESPOND TO THIS

EVERYTHING IS WRONG

But we all just laughed awkwardly. It was the most right thing to do.

And Stephan was just his weird self.

bless his heart.

 Alvin ^_^

 Introducing these two to one another was a recipe for insanely racist commentary.

Hilarious.

but it was like they actually owned shops and were Vietnamese, at the same time, together. Vietnamese prostitutes. Who barely spoke English.

oh my god.

... ho mei gah

 That's Topher, btw. I met him a long time ago at AX through Lauren. He does representy thingies. 

He also is Vietnamese.

Him and Stephan fell in love.

Or something.

 That motorized scooter isuh trewl hunneh dorrah

i'm sorry

it's them

it's not me

every time i see them

it comes back

i'll shut up now

 Long Beach was really fun though.
Towards the end, I ran into my other Anthony, who I called Bahb, for reasons, and Chel, and we all hung out with Anthony and Dustin. So it was just us chillin and... them being insanely asian and racist. Bahb's pretty asian friend also joined in and just enabled Stephan even more

He's not Vietnamese. He's Korean. but he's SO good at the accent. It's hard to not laugh.
I'm sorry.
I said it.
You have to hear it.
It's horrible.
I'm sorry again.
Okay.
I'm done.

 Long day.
I was stoked to finally be home and get some sleep.

A few days later...

I had to attend court for the hearing.

The hearing I've been waiting for for almost 3 years.

The one I flipped out about on my last entry? That one.

 I was really happy to discover that my coworker and friend was also there.
We were robbed by the same guy, but different stores.
She and I open a lot together, so we look out for each other.
We had a hxc zero tolerance for shady people.
I think the cops hated it, lol. She wouldn't hesitate to call them if the slightest thing or person felt off.
Or maybe they didn't hate it that much ;)
but yeah, she was there. It made the waiting less awful.

 We were there all day, until 4pm.

They hadn't even picked the jurors out yet, so we didn't get in to testify until after 2.

 I was texting one of my special friends and when I told him we were finally being called in to testify, he said he knew I'd be stuck there all day, lol just didn't wanna tell me. 

I guess... selecting a jury takes ALL FUCKING MORNING.

 And... I went in to testify with like 15 minutes left. And I thought I was DONE! but the defense attorny wanted to ask me some questions, and the judge was like WELP IT'S 4. COME BACK TOMORROW, SEE YA. and I was like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking goddamit

now... I can't share details about the hearing until there's a ruling, but...

Guys... lemme just say...
I went in there
and my heart froze fucking over.
I wasn't scared. I was nervous when the D.A. called my name, but as soon as I stepped into the court room...
like, I've never felt that emotionally cold or callous or stoic or calculating in my LIFE.
I walked in and felt like the most emotionally void fucking person ever, and the only thing driving me to keep this facade solid was my rage. ironically.
but i felt impenetrable. because once I took my oath, they told me to have a seat in the stand, and I saw them.
the two brothers.
twins.
sitting there.
and i glared at them
and even as i responded to the attorney's questions, i glared at them
and when i'd look to her to answer her, i'd glance back at them, and glare
and hold my gaze until they broke eye contact
over and over
and over
and over

i said SO much with my glare
they felt it
they couldn't look at me for more than a few seconds.
they were uncomfortable
and it felt
SO
GOOD

like.
I was a fucking DROW
Like
if Scully and a Vulcan had a baby
who was kidnapped by a Drow
not just any Drow, a Baenre noble
and was raised by vindictive Priestesses of Lolth

that was me. lol.
fuck
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
fuck guys.
I could feel my face get hot when I glared at them

and you know what's gross?
Staring
Staring is so fucking gross to me
like, ew.
because it makes people uncomfortable, right?
yeah, it fucking does. don't fucking do it.
nasty
and i'm awkward
and making eye contact for longer than 2 seconds is just unneccesary
unless i really am into our conversation or into you, like, don't.
like, can we not.
ok
stahp.
looking at me.

but
idk. evidently, inside me there is a very vindictive part of my soul that drove me to being that ballsy in front of a judge, jurors, and attorneys. my answers were short, concise, and my tone disciplined. i made sure i came off disgustingly eloquent and well spoken. like a fucking DROW.
damn, those books shaped me.
but i glared at them, and they couldn't look at me. and it was amazing.

the following morning before the hearing began, the attorneys (our guys, not theirs of course) came over to me and expressed to me how well i had done the day before. i impressed them, and they were not expecting of that.
that only inflated my ego before i went in to answer dipshit's questions. I won't go into what was asked, but he's a dipshit. it's his job, but... nah. intimidation and word manipulation is my thing too, asshat. don't work on me.
but yeah.

ok.
yeah.

:D
closure.
good.
very good ^_^

 Of course I had to meet up with special bestie and tell him all about it.

They do court stuff all the time, and he was giving me pointers a few days prior to the hearing. I got really nervous and was kinda panicking to him. He kept me level headed, lol.

A little while before that I went to see them.

brought them cookies and pocky.

It was a good night.

jizz monsters are real.

 And on my last day at work, which was just last Thursday, I got this card :3

Thanks, Jamie. LOL

 Look who it is!

Since I was moving and it was my last night in the Valley, we met up for lunch and caught up.

We hadn't seen each other in like, over 2 years. It was really good to see him. He's doing so well for himself, and I'm really happy for him. I wish him all the best in everything he pursues :)

And that same evening, I met up with another friend of mine. He lives far and I don't often see him because his schedule is opposite of other friendsies... schedules... kind of... so we went out for foooods.

 Eventually we decided on Peruvian because he hates going to Burbank on his days off and I hate eating anything in Van Nuys, and it was late, so we went to Hollywood lol.

 The verdict?

It was good, but not as good as my mom's cooking.

Lacked BOOM.

Umami.

Needed more boom.

I understand that white people can't appreciate or don't like boom as much as people who were raised on it, and that's fine.

It was blander than I'm used to, but it was good.

 And then afterwards, we decided to go watch Zoolander 2 lol.

because fuck it. It's my last night here. why not

 he hated looking at the camera.

GET OVER IT FOOL

IT'S MY THING

I PHOTOGRAPH SHIT

 Candy shop is dangerous.

I ended up getting jellybeans. Some gross ones, some not-so-gross ones.

But we had the theater all to ourselves!

Until previews started and 2 more people showed up.

but that was cool for a while.

We sat in the back like cool kids.

Verdict on Zoolander 2?

it was pretty stupid.

like, i was expecting it to be stupid, but funny/witty stupid.

this was stoner stupid, and i can't appreciate that level of stupidity. it requires zero thought processing, and it just baffles me how something that vapid could be entertaining. 

don't watch it. or do. whatever. 

AND last one for the night.. it's 1:30 lol

My dumb ass forgot my hoodie in Burbank at my old store.

guess who's the greatest and coolest and bestest special friendsie in da world!?!?

HE IS!!!

We need a code name for him.

no we don't. 

HE IS!!! 

he was going to House of Blues here for a concert, and I asked him if he could do me a favor, and grab my hoodie from sbux on the way down here. He totally did.

He was compensated in jelly beans, lol. 

and he said I smelled like gummy bears xD

I asked another special friendsie first, but since he hadn't responded for a while, (probably sleeping) so I asked him a little later on.

Other special friendsie lives in the OC as well, but commutes to Burbank for work. 

Either way, hoodie has been acquired. I had to call my old store and let them know he was coming in to get it. they lol'd. 

he dropped it off at at my new place after the concert.

i felt bad, he had a bunch of people in his car. they were probably so confused lolol

of course i made him let me take a picture of him. :D

 Anywho...

this entry is long enough. 

I'll write more tomorrow. Sleepy Cynth is sleepy.

GOOD NIGHT! 

Decompress

     My emotional stability and stamina is being tested again, and with each passing moment, the shitty reality of indifference slowly crawls into my reasoning, but just long enough to soothe the draining crappiness before my emotions come back and say... HEY, THIS SUCKS. OKAY, IMMA JUST SIT RIGHT HERE AND MAKE MYSELF COMFORTABLE, WHATS FOR DINNER?

and I'm just like 

 On  F e b r u a r y  2 ,  I expressed on twitter the following sentiments : 

 Am I going to elaborate? No.

What's the point of even bringing it up? Therapy, asshole.

I'm still trying to collect my thoughts... as of right now I just feel numb, and not surprised. Hurt, but still numb. I am reacting to things the best that I can without being dramatic, and...  whatever.

No matter how much you apologize, it won't fix anything. Time is the only thing that can fix anything. So just chill.

SPEAKING OF TIME

Aside from this shitstorm that just happened, I've been having a really good time. With the exception of a parking ticket, things have been going really well. And in my disgusting whatever weird streak of pleasant things, a huge thing happened that has unloaded so much off my chest. Actually, 2 huge things happened, but one was astronomically more of an impact than the other, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

UNTIL THEN...

Let us go back to like a week ago when Chris and I went to Little Tokyoooooooo

We had to get ramen. And coppie friendsie was swearing by Daikokuya, since I hadn't been there. So, to test his recommendation, I suggested that place, and Chris was like, cool.

 We got there, it was a windy, rainy day, and there was still a line.
Which is probably why I never bothered to go there, lol.

 While we waited, I was a troll and told Chris to do kpop things.

 so he did.

(he's korean, so like, duh)

LOL

trollable friends are the greatest friends.

 We maybe waited half an hour? 20 minutes? It wasn't too bad I remember.
One thing we didn't realize though was that it's a cash only place, so we had to run across the street quick and grab monies, but I'll definitely remember that for next time!

 Stooooked! We got seated at the bar. And when they brought out the menu I was a little surprised that they didn't really have much to choose from. There was the signature ramen, the spicy version, and another one-- can't remember what exactly but the broth was different and didn't sound as rich. We went with the signature.

 It smelled amaaaaazzziiinng

 Final thoughts? Was he right?
He was right in that it's very delicious!
And... I've HAD this ramen before! When I first tasted it something triggered and it was the weirdest thing because this was a first visit for me to this place, but then I remembered Yokocho Ramen Festival in 2014! And this was totally there!!! And I remember it was my favorite out of the other 2 I tried.
However... Mr. Ramen has curry ramen and I can't... deviate.. away..

Okay LOOK.
Mr. Ramen probably doesn't have crazy rich broth like Daikoku does. I will give it that. Their broth is like... RICH. It's fatty, and flavorful, and thick, and creamy, and it's very good!
But I guess... I don't know, something about Mr. Ramen just keeps me loyal. I'll have to do a back to back comparison one day. Like go have Mr. Ramen on one day and the next day have Daikokuya and then do a legit thing with notes and shit.
You guys don't understand.
I'm butting heads with friendsie and... ugh. UGH.
Either way, yeah.... and when Yokocho Ramen Fest starts again I'm starving myself the day before so I can go PREPARED

 We were so full but we needed to get steam buns and drinks. So.

It was a super fun day. We were there for like 8967934745928 hours. 

I don't even know why I didn't just move to that area, lol. 

Just kidding.

My new place is literally down the street from Disney. Like it's a mile and a half away from my place, behind me.

I'm cool w/ that.

ANYWHO, 

My move is going really well *knocks on wood*

I've been very very fortunate in finding a place with a generous landlady who even was kind enough to drop the rent on me because I'm a student. She wants me to feel at home, and be comfortable. And she's just... really sweet, I am so so so so thankful for that. 

Things have also been a little stressful though too because of school starting on the 1st, but I like my classes so far. One of my classes only meets one day, so it's not that bad. Only shitty thing is traffic coming home on the day I don't have to go to that class after my other one. And with moving stuff, I've just been going to my place to drop things off there, unloading and unpacking stuff, then going to class, then driving home. There's been a LOT of driving! I'm ... pretty sick of it, lol. But soon, that will no longer be an issue. Perhaps I'll invest in a bike once I'm settled in down there for sure.

Why am I not down there already and still in NoHo? Work.

I'm waiting for my transfer to go through... or rather... my work to push for it a little more. 

And, I got scheduled to stay there another week because there's gonna be a bunch of training for a new person, and they need strong people to compensate so.... =\ 

 yeah. 

but I have virtually all my crap over there already. Even my bed. I thought I was going to have to trash my dresser, but it worked out. Couldn't keep my bookshelf though, which is a bummer. But she said I could install shelves soooooooooooooooooooooo I'm totally doing that ^_^ 

Pro tip: sleeping on the floor sucks, lol.

So remember those 2 things that are huge that happened but one of them was astronomically just... insane? 

 It's been so far a really weird fucking start to the year.
From my car shit, to finding out that I have to move out out of nowhere, school starting, not just moving out but relocating to another city altogether, learning that the robber from 2013 is fighting for an appeal, and the most recent shitty thing...
I'm over being pissed and negative and scared of shit and staying in my comfort zone. I'm done.
I don't care anymore. I just want to live contently, with as little regret as possible, and enjoy my time here while I can. However, this part took some time, which was absolutely crucial and very needed, but... the result has left me feeling... emotionally and mentally unrestrained, and you can't imagine how great that kind of closure is.

 We talked. We FINALLY
F I N A L L Y
talked
but
for real this time.
this time, more civilized.
And open to listening.
civilized talking wasn't possible before. For several reasons. Too much anger and resentment.  
If you don't know what happened, don't worry about it.
And soon I'll mention why this is happening now. because this isn't even the astronomical thing I was talking about.

This was an almost year old wound that needed to be addressed.
but we are adults, and we worked things out like adults, and i can only hope for (but DEFINITELY not expect) others, who I didn't personally come to about what happened, to butt out.

Thing is.... I wasn't even supposed to be there with him that night.
I had planned to come here with another friend, but he didn't get back to me until way later. By that time we never would've made it before they closed or had last calls for meat. I told Stephan what was happening, and he met me there after he got out of work.

I've had a lot of time to think and wrack my brain about everything. Closure feels really, really, really, really good.

You don't get it.

You just don't get it.

Don't worry about it.

Also, like... thanks Stephan, for stepping up and offering to help me move furniture.

Didn't have to, but he was the only one who did.

Also fuck yeah, k-bbq.

On Wednesday my work had a thing for all of us to go bowling! We were supposed to do a thing back in November for like worker appreciation day or some shit but didn't, so this was the thing. And since our (now former) manager was leaving for maternity leave, she set this all up as a last goodbye kinda thing. It was cool

 I got there SUPER late because I was in Cypress and even though my class got out at 4:50 (YUP)
I had to drive back up to Studio City in fucking I-5 AND NORTHBOUND 101 BULLSHIT
WHICH TOOK ME ALMOST 2 HOURS
So I got there late. but still was good times

 bowling is not a thing I can do. nope.

And finally...

My bed and much of the rest of my shit in my new room.

She said I could paint the walls whatever color I wanted, which I was really excited to do, but I was in such a hurry to get my things down there that painting will have to wait. It's going to be a thing in the future though... that's a guarentee. With hardwood floors? Hell yeah, that'll be totally done. 

Maybe I'll have a painting party for some incentive with help. 

I wish I had taken a picture of everything else in there. 

There's a lot of shit.

Housemate helped with the bed. 

I had to rent a uhaul, and it was a nasty expense but... the hardest part is over. Everything else in my room can fit in my car easy. This desk comes apart and then it's just little shit and my computer.

I can't wait to get settled in.

I'm so excited to just... be comfortable again. And not have to worry so much about stuff.

Which leaves me to my last thing, which is the astronomical thing....

maybe not to you, but it is to me.

The DA of the Torrence courthouse miraculously found me a few days ago and got in touch with me.

Okay that's a lie, he found me weeks ago, and left me a voicemail, but because I don't answer unknown numbers, I missed him. And since I also don't check my voice messages (takes too long, just text me) who knows how long that's been sitting in my voice mailbox. BUT, one day I was like... damn I have 9 voicemails... i should probably waste 10 minutes and clear that annoying icon at the top of my phone. 

boom, there he was. He was calling about the robbery case from back in April of 2013 that happened at my work. It took him 2 and a half years to find me, because they had me under the wrong fucking name! AND ADDRESS. I changed my address on EVERYTHING, but they still mailed out a fucking subpoena to my old address from over a year ago!!! THANK GOODNESS my ex roommate still lives there and notified me about a letter that came for me that looked important, and was ncie enough to bring it in to work for me. Lo and behold, it's a subpeona to testify in court against him. 

that fucking subpoena I've been waiting for for two and a half years.... 

you don't understand... how elated... 

okay look

I FINALLY GET TO LOOK AT HIM

WITHOUT HIS FUCKING DOO RAG

IN THE FUCKING FACE

AND GLARE INTO HIS SOUL

AND TESTIFY AGAINST HIS GUILTY ASS

HE AIMED A LOADED GUN AT ME DO YOU KNOW HOW INCREDIBLE IT FEELS TO KNOW THAT I'LL BE IN THERE WITH THAT KIND OF POWER OVER HIM?

YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T KNOW. 

but. 

god

FUCKING FINALLY

the DA is forming a huge list of witnesses from all the places he hit.

and 

i'm just

so

fucking

happy

that i can get this shit out of my system

you guys don't even know how much that fucked me up

there will be times at work when it's super early and still dark out, right... when a customer in a hoodie and his hands in his pocket will have my heart RACING

there was a guy that came in a few days ago that had a bandanna over his mouth covering some of his face and i started to have a mini panic attack until he lowered it and ordered fucking coffee

i double check behind me every time i have my back faced to the register just in case

every customer that comes through those doors between the hours of opening until sunrise is a potential threat in my eyes, unless it's cops. 

i have fucked up daydreams or just weird fantasies about that shit happening again, but the robber would actually grab one of us and hold us hostage, and like... our cop friends would be there but they wouldn't be able to do anything because he'd use me as a body shield or some shit

it's fucked up

that fucked me up

so this is a massive massive huge deal to me

it's going to be the most insane closure ever. 

i'm going to see his face, guys

like i'm... freaked out. i don't want to see him again but at the same time i do.

i don't know

i can't explain it

so....

YEAH. after I got that news, that subpoena, and talked to the DA...

everything else? lol NAH.

cake.

I can't be angry anymore

I can't. 

I refuse. I mean I got a parking ticket the other day, that sucked but.... I'm done. no more shitty grudges. I'll just be numb and irritated and want to be left alone and then just... move on. 

Move on. 

move on move on move on.... 

Feels really good to move on. Feels REALLY good

and no one can take that from me.

now... i'm gonna go sleep on the floor. 

Good night and good riddance!!!

Anaheim

    Stress has this magnificent way of propelling me into an abyss of uncertainty, driven by the motivating factor of getting shit done, before shit hits the fan. It's a beautiful orchestra of panic, pessimism, rushing, worrying, spouts of depression, fear, doubt, apprehension, skepticism, and just all those really pretty words illustrating much of the shitty things we feel when under the gentle embrace of stress. We cuddled a lot, stress and I. 

BUT I WAS LIKE STRESS...  TIRED OF YOUR SHIT
NO STRESS GET OUT


Found a place in Anaheim. I'm so ready to just be done, but the first step which I personally feel is the most difficult, is done and over with. Now it's just a matter of actually moving everything, which is whatever. In spite of all of this, I'm extremely lucky with work, because my job basically runs the world, and there's a location everywhere, so all I really need to do is put in a transfer form and I'm set. No stress there. I realize I am very, very lucky with this. It's part of why I stay w/ the company... lots of perks. Lots and lots and lots of perks. 

There's stuff I'm going to be leaving behind, because this new place has this wall set up with shelves and drawers already, which is great for me. Means I won't need my dresser, or my bookshelf. Only furniture I'll be taking really is my bed + frame, desk, end table and mini filing cabinet. Everything else will just be my PC, clothes and collectibles.

She said I could paint the room :D Which I'm totally gonna do. It's not a massive room, but it'll do. It's cheaper than what I'm paying now, and it's 5 minutes from Disneyland. I can see the fireworks from there! 15 minutes away from school. My only concern really is being able to move the mattresses and the frames. I know I'll definitely need help with those, but leaving behind the bookshelf and dresser make this move infinitely easier. I'll be renting a u-haul and hope to get everything done in one day. Then it'd just be a matter of finishing my last days of work at my current location until the transfer goes through. Worse comes to worse I can use my vacation time to compensate for any lost hours. And then I'm out. 

As far as a date goes.... I don't wanna say just yet, and only told a few people. But I'm handling my shit and covering my ass-- all that needs to be said. 

Cynthia is a meticulous planner, can you tell? I can't do spontaneous. I mean, if it's food... hell yeah. Otherwise, nah. 
Tomorrow after work I'm going over there to give her the deposit. Considering how I won't be able to move in asap, I'm hoping she won't expect full rent, but she said she'd work with me. She's so awesome. She's a mom, hispanic, and cute and little and peppy. Kinda like my mom. And the community reminds me of somewhere you'd explore on a map in an RPG. It's so linear and cute. Everything perfectly laid out in order. 
The most exciting part for me about all this is finally getting a Disneyland pass. 
The sucky thing about all this is the amount of driving that's about to start come Monday. My classes begin, Mondays and Wednesdays. Which is why I aim to get everything moved in one trip, and just sleep on the floor here with the necessities until I finish out my days at Verdugo and Olive. 

Funny thing is I've been thinking about moving down there since last summer. But I guess I got too comfortable with my living situation that putting it off was just easier. It would've been a lot easier to just get a place here, too... in the Valley. But... school is down there. And school is my focus now more than ever. It has to be, I have no choice. I don't want to end up working somewhere shitty as I get older. I want to retire and be able to afford my own place, comfortably, and call myself a professional. It's so important to achieve that for myself, especially now that I'm nearing 30. I fucked around in my 20's, and had fun for the most part I guess. I feel like I would've enjoyed my 20's more if I had been single, but... lol that's neither here nor there.
So... onward. 

Last night as I was going to bed in self pity thinking of how much I'm going to miss everyone, (or missing opportunities with people that I wouldn't be able to explore) I realized just how much, psychologically, that armed robbery at my work affected me. The more I thought about missing people, the officers came to mind, and then realized why I wanted so much to get to know them. After hanging out with them outside of work, or just getting to know them more in general, I feel safer. And it hit me that I'm not going to see them as often, and it made me really, really, really sad, lol. I've grown quite fond of 3. Of course I won't name them-- they know who they are. And it just sucks, lol. Oh well. 
One of them told me he actually attended my college! And lives in OC, however he and I aren't as close as me and the other 2 are. I'd be awkward to see him outside of work. 

I'm rambling. But at least I'll get to see most of my friends at club nights. And with Long Beach Comic Expo coming up... shouldn't be too much of a hassle. I may put new cosplays on hold for a while though and just stick to what I have. I like my Poe cosplay the best anyway. Speaking of which... I still have all the supplies for its lantern. Just never got around to constructing it. We'll see how that goes lol.
I'm also hoping I'll see Ponies more often now as well, he lives a little south from there. 

I'm rambling again. 
Moving is..... real, lol. 

Anywho, Wednesday night I hung out w/ popo homie. We went out for some ramen. He was out doing errands and I was hungry. math.
... I still can't tell if he was trolling me or not, but when I asked him if he's had ramen before, he said no. but he was smiling, and he said he never learned to use chopsticks, but he grabbed them and started using them immediately. TROLL. so I don't know if he has or hasn't. guess it didn't matter because he didn't even get a bowl of ramen lol.
was curious because other popo homie has never had for realsies ramen.
I wanna take him somewhere before I move.
To Mr. Ramen.
Apparently other popo homie claims Daikokuya is better. This is up for debate. 
Well... okay that's not fair or accurate because I've never had ramen there. But.. Mr. Ramen has napkin art, so.... like.... i don't see how...
EITHER WAY, I WANT TO GO GET RAMEN WITH POPO HOMIES BECAUSE THERE IS AN INJUSTICE HERE AND LITTLE TOKYO CAN FIX IT
and I'm moving soon and I'm never gonna see them ever again u____u
just kidding, yeah I will but still


ANYWAY..

we went to Tamashii

 There was only ever I think one other time that I've been here. I remember it not being very good back then.

 Compared to other places, it still wasn't. 

Really the only reason this place came to mind was because it was closest. 

But, I would not recommend this place. The broth is not very rich, tasted like a paste rather than actually cooked from the source, and the noodles were firmer than most places serve them. 

Additionally, for the amount you are given, the serving size is not representative of the price.

So, I quickly remembered why it was that I do not go there. 

Cute servers, though.

he hates rice.

so he got a crab roll

with rice

at a ramen place

 it's fine I got over it. 
hurt to watch, though. almost threw a chair at him.

Adventuuuuuuuresss..
I feel like it's going to be dangerous being so close to Disney, and Medieval Times, and Knott's. 

I'm thinking too much. Analyzing too much. Just need to let things happen as they do. 
Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I'm not ready for classes to start yet... I'm excited but not at the same time. 

Rambling again. 

Should end this right here before this entry gets dumber. 

Which reminded me of this song by iKON called Dumb & Dumber... 

Been on this weird Kpop thing lately and it's really bad. Like, really really bad. 

  I leave you with this.   If I ever died in a freak accident, I would hope that it would be because I tripped, and impaled myself on their jawlines.    

OC

 That animated series on Disney Channel, the Little Mermaid one, was the motivating factor for my mood this morning at work. It was amazing, and random as fuck. 
 Moving feels way more real today, because I had to tell my boss of what was happening, and so the gears turn towards looking into a transfer to a new location. It made my gut tickle in the shittiest way.

BUT LETS NOT START OFF ON A BAD NOTE, THAT'S STUPID.

Last night, I ventured to the lands of the South west kind of. About 20 minutes away, resided a humble tavern of sorts, housing arcade games and feel good food. And a bar. 
To this discovery, I owe it to Mr. Cinnabons, a.k.a Tenebrae;

He was like WE SHOULD GO, and I was like, HOKAY

And so we went to The One Up, in Sherman Oaks

 The place is really cute, and also quite dark. So, my photos of our feast are limited--
to the cover of the menu. I ordered mac n cheese, because I'm an adult, while he got mini corn doggies. And I also ordered the garlic, parmesan fries but.... they were burnt :(
It's okay though, because the mac n cheese and doggies were delicious!

Once we satisfied our hunger, we made our way to the arcade machines, which were totally free and hosted a ton of old arcade games from the 80s and 90s. It was pretty dope. They also had a Mortal Kombat machine and a Street Fighter one (which was occupied the whole time, not surprisingly).

 Mr. Cinnabons is a man of proper button mashing skills. He yields power to no button. I should just call him Cinnabuttons. Or Buttons. Whichever is less degrading. I guess I'll let him pick?
I'm so nice.

 And I did horribly. My button mashing was sub par, and granted me little fortune in reaching advanced worlds. IT'S COOL THOUGH. PLACE IS DOPE

With the exception of cinder fries, I would return for their doggies and mac n cheese. and mustard aioli. and of course the arcade games. 10/10 WOULD BUTTON MASH AGAIN

Unfortunately I couldn't stay out too late because I opened this morning. So I split around 10, got home and passed out with the dread of coming in the next morning to discuss my moving with my boss.

She was really cool about it. She also probably doesn't mind much because she's going on maternity leave on the 1st (which is when I start school), so it wasn't as gut wrenching as I thought expressing this to her might be. 

I gave her a timeline of March 1st, which I'm super pushing for if all goes well. I've already contacted a few places, and am only waiting to hear back from them. 

Orange County doesn't seem so bad the more I think about it. 

Disneyland will only be a few minutes away, Medieval Times is also nearby, so is Knottsberry Farm (of which I've never been to). And the Que Sera won't be so far either. With the exception of Wondercon being held at the LA convention center this year, cons shouldn't be too bad either. If I beg enough, perhaps people will let me sleep on their floor during con season xD. 

My goal is Cypress, but I'm also looking at Buena Park. 

And everyone I've told about this move to has responded so positively, like in the aspect that they either 

1.) visit often or 

2.) live there and to not hesitate to reach out to them--- which is a HUGE thing because I'm gonna feel like a lost puppy for a little bit. 

Like, I'm familiar with some of Buena Park because I drive through there to get to school, but like... still. It's still a huge transition going from the Valley, which I've lived in for 8 years now, to Orange County. I'm sure I'll like it way more though. It's quiet, clean, and full of eye candy (WHAT) 

And it's closer to my school, lol which is the main reason I've chosen to move there instead of settling here. So, I guess you could say that while this is going to be an insanely stressful month, in the end it should... be... better....

hopefully. 

I don't know.

I hope it is. Getting my hopes up is dangerous. Especially with the car thing, things were going so well.. TOO well, it seems. 

And a week from now I officially start my classes. I should probably pick up my text books, lol. Or maybe hold off. I've learned the hard way that sometimes the classes don't even require them, and it's just wasted money >_<. Thankfully, Amazon is dope and gives discounts to students for renting books. We'll see. This semester I'm taking math and another psych class. No more literature for me, nope nope nope. All I'll need after this is just one more math class and I can finally get into the program. Being closer to school should make the process significantly easier, because taking only 2 classes per semester because of commuting and work is fucking bullshit, lol. If I lived way closer I could've totally knocked everything out a lot sooner. Oh well. It is what it is. By 30, I should be done and on my way to becoming a professionaaaaallll, and getting my shit together for good. I like to think I have my shit together already, but this would make my life infinitely better. 

I want my own place, damnit lol. I'm sick of roommates. I want cats, and a nice apartment, all to myself. And a Disney pass.

WHICH IS TOTALLY HAPPENING ONCE THIS MOVE IS DONE AND OVER WITH.

Turkey legs for dayyyyyssssssss

And I thought I was going to have to travel more to visit Little Tokyo, but it's literally the same amount of time to get there. SO I AIN'T EVEN MAD THOUGH :DDD

Rendondo Beach and I are gonna be besties.

What the fuck is all this optimism bullshit

No, I'm scared 

I leave you with 3 of my favorite screenshots from Fallout 4

This is literally my desk

I HAVE THOSE BOWLS. 

THEY'RE RED AND ABOUT 80% OF THE TIME HAVE NOODLES IN THEM.

If I had some right now, I'd take a photo. 

This will be a thing for when we next meet, Internets.

Also like, it's gotten to a really bad point where mostly everything I see in real life just reminds me of Fallout.

like a random mattress in Burbank on the sidewalk.

Like, what do I do at this point

shit my rice is done