Annual Foods

 Cynthia kinda slacked on her blog again, and here we are. Weeks later with over a thousand photos to upload and much to talk about.

Um... life took a massive U-Turn for the worse last week. My head is still trying to make sense of it all. Forgive my sloppy rambling. Just pretend it's a sloppy joe and enjoy it. Or don't.

lol, I got a Disney pass.

 

how artsy is this photo? i'm proud of it. i don't often do artsy.

you see, i don't have a beard. so. 

I think like, a few weeks after I moved down here, a friend of mine was like LET'S GO TO DISNEYLAND and I was like I GUESS. It was the day right after I hung out with Oso, Nunu, and Chu. Like 2 entries ago. but my friend had this glorious (and expensive) idea! Instead of me getting a park-hopper for that day, why not just get the pass that day and put the money for the park-hopper towards the annual pass?
I thought... hey! that's not a bad idea! but thing is... I was still waiting to get paid the following friday, and was going to wait until then. So he was like nope, and put down $200 right then and there for the pass. I shat myself all kinds of wtf, and for the remainder of the day and the week, I couldn't live with myself. BUT, we had a lot of fun that day!

 you crazy, spontaneous bastard.

 Our first stop was California Adventure.

 for obvious reasons.

 California Adventure is nice. It had been a while since I'd been there, only because when I go there, I just visit Disneyland.

 YUP

 that kid was awesome. he's going places.

 i couldn't not make him go on this ride.

As much fun as we had, I was also pretty tired from the night before. we made it up until 6pm before I started dozing off in the middle of standing.
Over all, it was a really fun day. I hadn't been there a while and just getting out of the house and spending it with fun company was just nice after having just moved down here.

As far as the annual pass thing goes... well, i couldn't live with myself if I had let him pay that money up front for me. So i paid him back, lol. maybe if it was less, I could've let it go, but we butted heads for awhile about it. i couldn't just let someone put down that much money for me and just... act like it was nothing. how do women do that? i don't understand it. but yeah, i have an annual pass now, and i lost it, lol.
no worries! i have another one waiting for me. i just... haven't been back yet. because i don't know that many people with a pass, annnnnd scheduling it weird. and right now, i don't know if i could even go and legitimately enjoy myself.


let's move on, shall we?

Occasionally, I'd still drive up to Burbank to visit friends and my old store. Nothing planned out, just kind of on a whim.

One of those days in particular, a friend of mine was working and he hadn't eaten lunch yet. so I met him for lunch for his break. 

 He'd never been to Umami Burger. This is ridiculous to me.

And he didn't care much for the food.
I don't know how we still talk.

And shortly after that, my other homie from Burbank told me he was visiting Orange County and staying with his parents for a week.

 This only meant we had to go get ramen.

And like, a few days later we went to watch Zootopia and omg it's the cutest movie in the world.

Cynthia could not stop going out to eat with friends. It's become a real problem financially.


And then, I had the most awesome week and a half in March... when my mommy came to visit :)

 During her visit, she did a lot of cooking, lol. And lounging.
We did lots of little errands together, the way we used to when I lived back home. I kept wanting to take her out, but she insisted on cooking for almost all the nights she was here, lol.

 But I had to take her to the Bodies Exhibit. I knew she'd love it.

 Not gonna lie, having her cooking again was ... so incredible. I missed it.

I can make some of the stuff she prepares, but she makes it just ... soo... mom like. 

There's nothing like it in the world...

 We tried dragon fruit. They don't have this in Pennsylvania.

The verdict: It's a slightly blander kiwi

 I also had to take her to Little Tokyo. To have her first bowl of ramen.

 We'd been here the last time she visited, but didn't get ramen because she had already eaten before I came home.

 hey, it's us.

 I brought her to Daikokuya. The wait wasn't awful. She said it was worth it.

 I didn't think she'd be able to finish the whole thing but she scarfed it down!

 We left with happy, full bellies.

 She was happy. So I was happy.

But she had to be happier.
So I brought her here:

 

 Right in the front row, so she wouldn't miss any of it.

 She was smiling so much. I was in the clouds.

 Back in Pennsylvania, I think the closest one is in New Jersey? I'm not too sure.
But she didn't even know they did these events.
She loved it!

 And right after, we went to the torture museum!

Funny thing is, in Peru, we've already seen everything within the Santa Inquisicion. Google it.
So this was like, the baby sister of that.

 worst panties ever

 That last weekend she was here, I wanted her to see the stupid shit I'm into.
Okay, it's not stupid, but it's also not conventional.
Just so happens that that same weekend was when Wondercon was going on. I wanted to take her on Saturday, just for an hour or two so she could see what I dabble in.
Her daughter is a weirdo.
but... a sober and stable weirdo.

 Unfortunately, the traffic was so assbackwards insane that morning, that after circling for 45 minutes just to find parking around the Los Angeles Convention Center, I rage quit. I could tell she was getting kinda restless but didn't wanna say anything. I would've kept looking but... yeah. So, instead.. I brought us tooooo..

 The lovely Museum of Death

 She loves that shit.
I get it from my momma ;)

 And on her last day here before her flight that evening, we went to get one last bowl of ramen together.

 She said it wasn't as good as Daikokuya (i turned her into a ramen snob) but she enjoyed it just the same.

I miss her so much. There's... a lot I want to say about her right now, but.. I can't.
I just hope she knows that she's loved very, very, very much. And that she is the most wonderful mommy any girl could ever ask for, and that I miss her, and I hope she knows how much I love her. And the things I would do for her to be happy and to be okay... without hesitation. And that she is the strongest woman, and the type of woman I strive to be. She has gotten through so much heartbreak, and the most difficult times in life, and handled them like a badass. And I know that she's unstoppable. And I just hope, that she continues to have that spark in her, in this moment, as I'm typing this.. I am hoping that her spark shines the brightest it's ever been.



That night, after I dropped her off at the airport, something inside me felt like I just wanted to clear my head. So, I went to my favorite place to do that.

 Redondo.

 It was the earliest I've visited. Was around 10 at night on a Saturday.
There were still people walking around, and the ocean was quiet that evening.
I'm so used to seeing no one there, and being greeted by the waves and cold air.
nope. quiet, warm night. and people.

 was still nice to be there.
people probably thought i was weird for walking around there by myself.

 i love this place.

 I must go back. I have to.
there's so much on my mind...

 humans are ugly. see how they ruin the landscape?

Redondo is special to me.
I should stop being so attached though, and visit other beaches lol. Huntington is significantly closer.


The following Sunday, I was off to Wondercon. I told myself I'd go no matter what, and had purchased a ticket a few days prior to them selling out.

 I wiggled into my Poe cosplay, held in 562352354362 gallons of pee just to rush out of there early enough to find parking.
I conquered.

 It felt good walking around in a con.
It's like... getting health points back or something. i don't know.
I'm in my element.

 One of the first things I did was go to artist alley and look for my buddies.
One of them wasnt' there yet =\
PROBABLY COULDN'T FIND PARKING

 but Dan was! At the Zombie Tramp booth ^_^
ahhh, what a fun concept.

 I also found Dino and Rikki!

 Dey so cute and silly ^^

 I totally didn't make the lantern I wanted to. I'm scared of ruining it or cutting myself on fiber glass, lol.

 First Shy Guy cosplay I've seen! And funny thing is I've thought about cosplaying a shy guy in the past. Obviously never did, but this was really cool ^_^ She looked adorable!

 Hello, my love. We meet again.

 as I sat down to eat, I got a message from my LoZ bros, Jose and Carlos.

 They came to where I was eating and we hung out for the rest of the con in our cool little LoZ posse.

 She obviously.
OBVIOUSLY
played some LoZ songs for us :D

 Anthony and Chel :D

 We ran into more Links. And since it was Easter Sunday, they had bunny ears on xD

 Mr. Flower!

 Good times.
Around 3 or so, we were kinda hungry so we went for some foooooods

 One of the waiters recognized my cosplay and he was so excited!! ^_^
It made my day! haha
I had to get my picture with him

 I just got dessert lol

 by the time we were done, there was about an hour left before the floor closed.
there were two prints I saw that I wanted to get, but we couldn't find the booth. it was probably for the best, lol.

Even though this year, I only attended on Sunday, it was still really fun. I'm glad I got to see everyone I did and just was able to go, period.

I was ready to throw a shitfest in a rant about it being held at the Los Angeles Convention Center, but you know what? It's over. And never year it's going to be back in Anaheim, so my grudge is gone.
Maybe that's why I wasn't upset about not being able to show my mom on Saturday.

Honestly, fuck the LA convention center >_<

Oh, so.. the last thing I need is another food place to throw money at. But someone said there was an awesome Poke place near my house.

He wasn't wrong. 

Pokinometry. Is so.
beautiful.
oh my goodness I don't even know how to describe it.
Maybe because I'm new to it? I don't know. but raw fish and rice and avocado and spicy mayo are all... things that make me so happy
and they're sold. together.
in a cute little bowl
near my house
it's beautiful

okay.
calming down.

anywho. We're gonna stop this entry riiiiight here. It's long enough, don't ya think?

Look out for Pt. 2 ^_^

Desperation

No lo puedo creer. Todavia no lo puedo creer.

I can't... even though it's been a while since I last updated this thing, I need to vent. Everything feels like a shitty dream. Like a joke. It's like the same feeling when I saw the gunman standing before me and my coworkers... it felt like a monumental joke.

it's not. it's not, and my brain is still struggling to wrap my reasoning around all of this.

but it's real. it's real and it's happening and i can't do anything and my logic is wearing away.
i'm becoming desperate. i can't believe this is happening. i can't bear it.  i can't bear that my mom is sleeping in a jail cell. my mom was arrested on her birthday, in Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport. she was arrested and incarcerated on the assumption that she was smuggling drugs into the united states. because she trusted someone in Peru, who snuck cocaine into a jacket pocket, which she was bringing back with her to Pennsylvania to give to someone.

she was taken advantage of and made to be a mule. and because of this evil fucking piece of shit, this putrid disgrace of humanity that deserves to rot, she is in jail. and i can't keep my composure well.

she is in contact with my dad-- for the brief time that she is allowed a phone call. writing that out and seeing it as a sentence fucking kills me.
he called me last night. i had been trying to call her all day yesterday, to wish her happy birthday. her phone was off. i had figured she was still in Peru, maybe her flight was delayed.
she travels often. didn't think it was an issue.

around 8 last night my dad calls me. the first thing he tells me, "your mom is okay. i need you to understand that she is doing okay." that's probably the worst way to start a phone call. especially on the day that she's scheduled to arrive in Pennsylvania, and he was supposed to pick her up.

i've googled things.
looked up penalties. sentencing. old cases of drugs being planted in luggage.
it's made clearer to me why people saran-wrap their luggage, now. not that that would've helped my mom in this case, but it eliminates tampering.

i haven't spoken with her. just my dad, and today an uncle in florida got in touch with me. he called me a few times while i was at work. i was finally able to get back to him after clocking out at 11:30. he tells me everything will be okay. he knows people.

my rational mind, or what's left of it, desperately grasps onto the little reason i have left and tries to argue otherwise, but i want so desperately to let go of that and believe that, just because she's innocent and a good person, she will be okay. but the world doesn't work like that. the world has no reason to work like that. and our justice system is fucked. she's a small, hispanic woman who speaks broken english who was "caught" bringing drugs into the united states. why would the judge believe her? for all he cares, she's just some borderhopper trying to make some money, right? she's just some fucking wetback beaner immigrant. that's what they're gonna think. that's our justice system.

but she's innocent. she's innocent.
she was wronged so... much..
she doesn't deserve this why would this happen why did this happen to her

i can't believe this happened

but she's strong. way stronger than me. she has hope.
i have a stone.... she bought it for me in Little Tokyo on our trip there together while she was here visiting.
It says "Hope" on it. It was one of many-- others would say things like "faith" "love" "believe" "courage" "prosperity" I went with hope, because it's what I lack. and now... i feel like i need to smash this stone on my head until it sinks in. I need to hope that everything will be okay, and things will work out.
they have to.

they have to work out
she can't go to prison
she's innocent she didn't do anything she was framed
my mommy was framed
they took advantage

she's innocent

she's innocent my mommy is innocent i can't believe this... she's innocent please let her go

please
she didn't know
she would never ever ever ever ever do that
never

not only that, but how fucking stupid do you have to be to think that the scanners wouldn't see drugs in luggage... in a jacket pocket!? REALLY? fucking STUPID, EVIL MALDITO HIJO DE PUTA QUE TE PUDRES EN EL INFIERNO PEDASO DE MIERDA. MALDITA ESCUASA DE VIDA.

but...
i am without words and floored by the amount of compassion and support and love that has come pouring in from friends. even those who i haven't heard from in a while... you reached out, and i thank you. if i haven't responded yet, please know that i saw you and i that i appreciate you so so much. i'm overwhelmed with gratitude and i need you to know that your actions are helping me A LOT. i feel useless. like i can't support myself. my emotions are getting the best of me but then i get another text or a message from someone and clarity sets in little by little. so thank you. thank you from the bottom of my heart-- from every shitty, cynical little bit of me i have left right now, thank you.

there is some good news. my uncle, in florida, has some avenues available to him that puts him at an advantage to helping her directly. he is confident in this, and has reassured me that things will be okay. this is soothing news to me, but again... this whole thing is a serious issue. it's... delicate.

please forgive my ramblings... my thoughts aren't well put together at the moment. i may say things that are shitty and may regret later but you know what? this is the 3rd shittiest thing that's happened to me in my life and my choice of words is really not a concern right now. but yeah.... i'm rambling again.

he tell sme to not stress out, to remain calm. i felt obligated to tell my supervisor this morning too, when i came into work. i broke down a few times. i tried to be strong for her. she's kinda of someone i look up to because she's so well put together emotionally... like she doesn't do emotions well. which is great and what i needed, but i broke down. so i clarified, and she leveled with me, which i appreciated so much, because... like, how the fuck do you even respond to news like that from a coworker?

like me, she is negative, and not the most optimistic. she's severely realistic, and short with people because she likes to get to the point. i like her a lot because of this, we get a long really well. but... she was being positive for me today, and like... oh man. that was a gift. because it's so hard to be positive or even just give advice, but she did. and it worked. she did it while being realistic, which made it much easier for me to register, but... sigh. she was right.

there's no use in worrying or stressing about it now, because there's nothing i can do. i've been told that, but the way she worded it made it seem like less of a pitty talk. not that i don't appreciate the condolences from my other friends... my brain is just hardwired to to reject hope.

i'm working on that.


right now... my mom is sitting in a cell, either alone, or with someone else. who may or not be guilty of a crime. the thought of that is... agonizing.
i won't hear from her for a while... but i just want to hear her tell me she's okay. i want to tell her how much i love her and how much everyone loves her and how she's going to get through it because she's a bad ass bitch and she gets through everything. she's the reason i try to be hard all the time. i never see her cry. i heard her cry over the phone when our rottweiler, "Baby" had to be put down, and when she called me to tell me my abuela passed away. It fucking sucks. It's the worst feeling... the worst sound in the world. to hear your mother cry.

and she was probably crying last night. crying herself to sleep. or maybe she wasn't. because she's strong. but i know she wanted to. and... she's over there, and i'm here.
can i even see her if i were to fly over there? my uncle says he'll take care of things... all my faith is in him, because the justice system is fucked here. i worry so much, because of her broken english. because of her race. her nationality. i worry about how she'll be treated. she's so small. she's fierce, but when no one believes you and you're fighting--- you know waht? i can't think about that shit right now.


hope.

hope hope hope.

los amo.

todo va salir bien.

Cuddling

   When someone mentions wrestling, my mind just immediately imagines people cuddling ferociously. Strategically, but ferociously... but still cuddling. It's like, who's the most vicious cuddler? The best cuddler. The ONE cuddler. Right? Yeah. 

Two nights ago was the UFC cuddle concert. It's not a subject I know much about. The first time I even dabbled w/ it was when people were blowing up about Ms. Rousey. And the only reason I discovered her was through my old co-worker who absolutely loved her. He showed me a clip of her absolutely owning this other chick (Cat Zingano) in 14 seconds via submission. with an armbar attack! On instagram. The whole match fit in an instagram clip. I was impressed with her, and watched her matches, which led me to follow her fights and the other Pokemon she had to fight. 

So, I was familiar with Ms. Tate and Ms. Holm. Very familiar with Holm. And her high kicks. She's basically Hitmonlee.   

 

And Tate was like... a really good snuggler towards the end. So good, Holm almost passed out. 

Which Pokemon is that? I can't think of one. All the matches ran several rounds though. 

Wait, why is Cynthia even mentioning UFC fights?

Chu.

Chu said he and peoples were gonna meet up at his place to watch the fight, and then head to downtown Fullerton afterwards. Downtown Fullerton rang a bell... I was just there! He said I could join them to watch the fight or meet them downtown later. I opted to check out the fight.

I also had a really yummy snack for them to try, and this would be the perfect time for it. -- Because I didn't take pictures of record anyone trying out the snack, I'll have you know it was a bag of Beanboozled jellybeans and they were horrible and I am so sorry for ever buying them and making other people eat them. There is a bunch of spit and stinky, chewed up rotten egg flavored jellybeans in Chu's kitchen dumpster and for that, I am sort of sorry. Beer didn't help, but it did. It was weird. 

 SUPA CUDDURA!

 Oso was there. 

Look at him. He doesn't give a fuk, lol. 

Also... I thought it was funny that he was wearing another The Clash tshirt. He wore another one the last time I saw him, but it was white.

 Behold. A Chu. And to his right we can see Noomi. I've met Noomi before-- haven't seen him a looooong time! It was awesome seeing him when I walked in.

 Chu hates everything so this is probably the last you'll see of him

e v e r

 note the L V F T. shirt

 YAY CUDDLING

I had no idea what was going on when I sat down, omg.

Oso, Noomi and I just kept talking and Chu probably hated us for it

 And then later, Oso's little bro showed up!

OH MY GOD!

Ok. Remember in my LBCE post how I said that it was a small world but didn't go into why? No? Well, I did. 

Okay.

So like, Those Estar Guars cosplayers know Oso's little bro! Han Cholo and Lil Bro are like, besties since high school or something like that. 

How did this even become a thing? Well, while I was at LBCE, I was sending Chu photos throughout the day, stressing how much he sucked for not going, and he eventually showed those pictures to Oso, who then was like... 

hey.

ask her if Han Cholo's name is ______.

Chu did. and I was like, ya.

And then Oso was like, omg.

And I was like omg.

And Chu was like, ugh. 

Actually, I don't know what Chu was thinking, but if I had to guess, he probably was like why at they talking through me. 

Small world!

So when I saw Lil Bro, we talked about all that and I tried to encourage them to go to Wondercon.

It didn't look promising. But we'll see how that goes.

Finally the fight was over. 

It got pretty serious, and I kinda was surprised with how much I got into it. Like, it was stressful to watch, but I couldn't look away. So, lack of photos. =\ 

Also, I felt kinda bad towards the end of the night becaaauuuuse lol.... guys can be trolls, and they decided to troll their friend, who is also my friend. Oso took a picture of me flipping the bird, sent it to him in a group chat, and he kinda got pissed at me. He thought it was personal, lol. I'd be pissed too, lol. 

If your friends send you a photo of them all hanging and stuff, flipping you off while you're at work? Yeah, I'd be pissed, lol.

 By the time it was over though, it was 10, and I guess Fullerton wasn't a thing anymore. But we were all hungry so we went to this place instead.

 I saw a gross photo of someone who I never wanted to look at in that context. That was fun.
"Gross" is probably a little harsh, maybe off-putting is more appropriate. Either way, ew.

 Nice place. I regret what I got and instead wish I had gone with the mac n cheese, lol.

They probably noticed, but towards the end of the night I got super quiet. 

There was a lot going through my head. 

Having to be up at 3:30 for work was one of them, and then the long day that followed was another. Also my bank account, lol. Fucking car and power steering bullshit... And yet, I keep spending money! It's my own fault. 

And last week I missed a math test. Work scheduled me until later than I was available on that day, and I didn't realize what day it was until I got home and looked at the time. 

I emailed my instructor asap, but she hasn't gotten back to me, and I all I could think about was my grade and what I'd say to her today if I didn't hear back.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

Lot of thinks. Worst time to do it, but yeah, lol. This is what beers are for. 

But being there w/ them was great. Oso and Noomi are funny. Noomi had to leave early, sadly. He reminds me a lot of Darrel. Just BOOM, energy. lol. Fun. 

The title of this post is misleading and I'm sorry, lol. To be fair though, Oso was showing Noomi how to cuddle on Chu's couch shortly after I got there. It was pretty overwhelming. I was concerned they'd hurt each other. Maybe next time, with enough booze, there will be cuddling. 

With Oso and Chu.

I'll make sure to confirm this with the title "Cuddling ver 2.0" if that ever does happen.

and... I have class in an hour. woot.