There's a penis in this post

   Oh HAY there. Long time no see. What's good? Well, um, not online-only multiplayer coming to Bethesda's new title, BUT NO NO. IT'S FINE. Because you can play by yourself! And you can make your OWN stories. NPCs won't guide your adventures anymore. THAT'S OPPRESSION.

I'm fine. Everything's fine. :)

lol I say this as though I'm not gonna pre-order 76 

and play the absolute living shit out of the beta.

So, that's not the best opener, but E3 just happened. And words matter when describing game play and, and, and.. I'm just so confused and it hurts ok? WHAT DOES HE MEAN 

|PLAY BY YOURSELF OR PLAY WITH FRIENDS. WE HAVE THE SERVERS TO HANDLE IT.|

What is that wha- does he mean.... private servers? Literally, solo play, alone, on your own plane of reality, like traditional Fallout games? Or does he mean... play by yourself, on an open, free-for-all server and just kinda exist with other players? IT'S NOT CLEAR AND I'M JUST SO. CONFUSED.  

m o v i n g   o n.

:)

Any Hearthstone players? This one time, at work, for the Witchwood launch, there was an event, and everyone just played Hearthstone and wore witch hats.

It was that day that I learned all about how amazing the UI is. I know this now, because it was told to me.

Also! There was a brief period where someone put post-its and sharpies in one of the buildings' womens' bathrooms, and over the course of a week, the supportive post-it notes grew in numbers! As did the trend, as other buildings began to do it, and it was pretty awesome to see. Especially after taking a dump.

 Mine is the Symmetra one. Obviously.

There are a lot of neat things that go on at Blizz. These are just a few of billions. I feel like I should capture and share more often, but yeah. It's dope. 


 WENCHES 'N' YE OLDE SUNLIGHT
That's right. The Renaissance Faire.

The faire was in town again and boyf had never been! Cynthia, what did you do-WELL. I coerced him to venture forth and VIEW UPON YE OLDE THINGS, and also there's beer. He likes beer. So... yeah.

It was definitely daylight out¹. Yep. Sure was.

There was a lot to see. Mostly people. But visiting the Ren Faire's a nostalgia thing for me. Back in Pennsylvania, I once visited there with my jr. high school, and followed up later with friends. 

It was my first turkey leg experience. And, it was also where I learned to appreciate live theater performances. The gritty, unapologetic, grimy art of improv and adult comedy! Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire gave no fcvks and in early 2000's, I just fell in love.

PLUG TIME: It's also where I discovered two unique musical groups whom to this day I still listen to; Empty Hats and Blackmore's Night. 

CHEKK EM OUT I PUT THE LINK IN THE DESCRIPTION BELOW make shuuuure to hit that like button and don't forget to subscribe to my chan

sorry.

but no, seriously. They're dope. Empty Hats are... bards. named Giacomo and Looney Lucy. And she plays a bodhran. And Blackmore's Night is like, sultry ren faire music that you'd hear in a Skyrim tavern.

Empty Hats - "La La La Song"
Blackmore's Night - "25 years"

anyway YEAH, SO BACK TO LOS ANGELES. 

Important mission: acquire turkey leg. and beer.

(1/2) Progress                

• Turkey Leg                        
• Beer                                   
• Corn on the cob (optional)

(3/2) Mission Complete !

• Turkey Leg                        
• Beer                                   
• Corn on the cob (optional)

Reading Drizz't books influenced me enough to want 6 scimitars. Thanks so much.

Beautiful.

We left with few goodies. I brought my horn, but picked up a bag and he got a pro-flogging clay mug. 

Busy weekend was busy, because the day after waaaaaaas yet another thing to subject boyf to;

 We only went one day because after going for so many years, I've found that Monsterpalooza seldom changes. This year was slightly different in that we saw some seemingly out of place pieces, but over all he enjoyed himself. I'm glad he did, because my spooky butt had to drag him to it lol.

 yes I'll take all of them thank you

HOW CUTE ARE THESE BIRD THINGS

Man, if I had the money... 

 well HI THER

I visited the Full Moon booth (can correctly assume I didn't cosplay) and was directed to the Full Moon panel where Charles and the crew would talk about the new Puppet Master title! So, we went. 

Looking forward to it! It's right down boyf's alley in campy gore. Different, but excited for it ^-^

 Visited Cheynne and got me a pack of fetus soaps. This chick makes awesome product.

Sick Soaps

Go make someone uncomfortable and gift them her soaps.

 THESE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN LOOK AT THEM

I WANT ALL OF THEM

THEY'RE SOOOOOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUTE OMGGGG

 They were way out of my budget, but if I could've I absolutely would've dropped paper for one because holy shit. But now that I know they're there, next year. I'm getting one. Or even at Son of Monsterpalooza later this year. We'll see, but fuck me I will get one. They're beautiful.

Monsterpalooza was definintely not short of cosplay. 

THIS BEAUTIFUL BABY AND ALSO THIS GORGEOUS CLOTH POSTER OF A DEAD GEISHA

Sci-Fi and Horror, ya'll.

And yes, I enjoyed the Ghost in the Shell movie.

 Best, pure, wholesome, precious dead boy

We don't deserve Bub.

 Can I take a moment and confess that the Dr. is attractive to me? He doesn't like rudeness. And he's well read. And polite. And well spoken. And is an admirer of fine cuisine. And I really just wanna sit and chat with him over tea. Rude people are absolutely abhorrent and society would be much more pleasant without feral, ill-mannered, buttholes.

k!

 Did it.

 a d o r a b l e  angles

We were getting hungry, so we split for my favorite ramen joint which was just a few minutes away on foot.

Pasadena is lovely. I quite enjoy visiting ^_^

The essentials: 

The richest, thickest, most savory Tonkotsu broth, dear readers. If you want your fill, this place is a must.

Since we were in Pasadena, boyf wanted to take mt to Castle Green where... get this.. the first Puppet Master was filmed in! I had no idea! While having him watch it for the first time, he recognized the interior of the hotel, and the shot of the actual building and told me where it was. I was ecstatic. He'd been there before to attend a wedding. The coolest coincidence. So... to Castle Green we went.

Unfortunately, it is not open to the public. A section of it has also been made into living quarters. But much of it is still a functioning hotel, and offers tours. It is a notable landmark for its antique elevator that is still working.

Pretty neat. I still can't believe it, lol.
We walked back to the convention, and I stood my ass in line to meet Doug Bradley.

I wish I had brought my favorite Hellraise comic for him to sign, but completely forgot. EITHER WAY, I MET HIM AND IT WAS AWESOME.

Tank is the sweetest.

 RIP, you revolutionary, amazing man, you.

Loot!: Some comics, another patch from Toxic Toons to put on my bag, Cheynne's soaps, and boyf got me a bat ^___^. He's so cute. His name is Suko and he hangs in his room to watch over this stuff. Hee.

Oh, yeah. This. I remembered why I didn't finish SH3. My mental stamina for running back and forth trying to figure out the puzzles wore very thin after searching 9867927492374238974 rooms. 

BUT. I love it, still.

Going to work, there are funny things I'll never get over. Like, Hearthstone street.

And T's car.
Which, also I love this card and I wish I had a physical copy of it to hang above my bed because it's saved me so many times I'm crying

Lotta Overwatch.

Things that make me feel physically beautiful:

Um, like, so one day, boyf was like

"would you wanna go to Hawaii?"

and I was like

"O_____________________O"

and he was like 

"o.O..."

so I was like

 ".......... y  e    s s  s s"

The night before leaving to LAX, I couldn't sleep and just played Overwatch while he tried to nap.

Look at that framed Warcraft 3 poster above his bed. Mmpf

 We arrived at LAX crazy early. This was sad for boyf because he couldn't buy booze at 6am.

Um, I slept the whole flight? He watched movies and played Hearthstone.
There's a lot of Hearthstone in this post lol. Not deliberately, I promise xD

We arrived and I'm already upset at how beautiful and nice the airport is.

We waited 700 years for the shuttle to the rental car place, but it never came. So, since it was only a 10 minute walk from the airport, we made our way over there by foot. And I found this, and like wtf, these are just everywhere and they're beautiful.

Our drive to the destination was ... breathtaking. I've never seen land so lush and green and rich. It was humbling.

Like, just green everywhere.

This tunnel was dope. Made me think of Bladerunner or like, those photography accounts on twitter. and all of their photos like this

But it's cool. I like neon purple future. Definitely looks inhabitable.

For this trip, boyf's friend graciously allowed us to stay with him in his very nice and roomy abode. Dylan, you're dope man.

There, Loki and I became acquainted. Loki is a good boy. Probably even the goodest boys of good boys. Also, he's strong and huge.

So yeah, coconuts everywhere. Dylan has a tree in his yard and it never stops producing coconuts. Ever. It's literally the tree of life.

He taught us how to husk coconuts. basically impale it on a ... sharp thing. The husk comes off, and inside is the coconut itself.

Then, he taught us how to crack the coconut open. With a machete. I've a video clip somewhere but basically, there's a "spine" that goes down the center of the nut, between the 3 "eyes". You take something blunt and heavy, and smack that fucker on the spine. The shell should give to the trauma, and break open along the middle. You're pro if the break is super clean with little edges.

I am not a pro. And the coconut water was DELICIOUS.

He also demonstrated how to extract the meat from the coconut. This is all at his place, lol. There's a tool with metal teeth on the end. He's sitting on a log with this tool attached to it. Basically you scrape the shit out of the coconut with it.

The pile of husks in his yard created an ecosystem for tiny, adorable neighbors.

Then, to get coconut cream...

From the husk, you strip the fibers and wash them. Then, with the fibers, you grab a bunch of the coconut meat and

Ring it.

Delicious, rich, nutritious coconut milk and oil will squeeze out. Pretty amazing.

Shortly after, Dylan drove us all to a nearby beach. Note; I'm used to gross California beaches. My expectations were low. The lowest.

Why does this look like a zone in a game I'm about to load into

It was beautiful. The sand was white. The water was crystal clear. The sky was blue. It was warm, with a sexy breeze. CULTURE SHOCK

I just. I dunno man. Elated seems like an understatement. Euphoric, perhaps.

This place's food is art.

We got our culture on at the museum.

DOPE.

Her head. is just a lower and upper fang that's

SICK

Appropriating haircuts yaaaaaaaaay

Taro plant is a good boy

We also went to a viewing of this demonstration about the Wayfinders. It made Moana make a lot more sense to me. 

Also, that song "We know the way" in Moana.... it was probably played 4872934872 times during every car ride. Mostly because Dylan knew the Samoan lyrics in the song and we started learning them to sing with him and now every time I hear that song I think of our time driving around Oahu.

This wax thing demonstrated how islands do.

I'm an idiot

I WAS A SNAIL YOU GUYS

Also, yeah. Chickens just kinda roam around. They're beautiful.

SO THERE WAS THIS CAVE RIGHT

And I like exploring things. Soooooooo we went in.

Every moment of it felt exciting. But we were met with a dead end that appeared to be some kind of drainage thing for when the tide gets too high. It was small, cramped, and we didn't know where it led to.

SO I CLIMBED INTO IT AND CRAWLED THROUGH ^_^

With some moral support, the others followed.

And what we saw on the other side was a lush, green landscape of the bottom of a hill. The photos don't do it justice, but the thrilling experience to get there and taking in everything was exhilarating.

Time to go back!

We made it out safely, but I'm a horrible person because in my excitement to explore places where adult people don't fit very well into, I'd completely overlooked the fact that boyf is a little not cool with small, confined spaces. He survived, but was less than thrilled to have gone in. SORRY CHICKEN.

The cove was beautiful! We even saw a sea turtle I was wheezing

She very briefly came up for air

And just like that, she was gone. But omgggggggggg

The 711s there were like.... heaven compared to our shit shacks on the "mainland."

Also, Dylan took us to hike a huge mountain thing kind of on a whim. I was wearing sandals. It's fine.

By this point, I'm surprised I didn't slip on something already and fall.

The hike back down took 9485792375 times longer than the hike up, but the views were crazy and the Pokemon even crazier.

We were eaten alive.
Boyf and I sat on the beach while the others canoed over to the nearby islands. I did my best to shade myself from UV rays. Um, it didn't work and my feet broke and swelled up and I couldn't walk :D

but the trip must go on lol. I was bed resting 2 days while the others went off and did things. Was totally okay with it though because that's how introverts do.

We went to the galleria where Dylan's sister works, and he took us to like... beneath it. And it was an amazing Japanese food court market thing

Good food, good vibes, good drinks, good company. Legit, humbled and grateful to be there. It was unreal.

To top the night off, we had a Warcraft III LAN party.

Poke bowl with my mango IPA, in Oahu, playing WC3 on a LAN with boyfriend and homies.

( screams )

Chinaman's hat.

Under that island is actually a giant Chinese dude wearing a hat, just chillin. 

look it up.

We drove through Jurassic Park to get to the shrimp food truck.

I MADE FRIENDS

Because it was Boyf's birthday weekend, we spent the day getting our culture on, with a buffet meal and dinner show included.

This place is massive. It's basically the Disneyland of all the different islands and their own cultures. There are sects all throughout the center. Each focusing on an island and everything about it, with shows, demonstrations, songs, etc. Pretty neat.

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy taro ;)

Tahitian dancers were my favorite.

We went to the Tahitian part of the center to watch a show. Dylan got picked to go up with the dancer, looooooool

:|

Buffet was crazy. Felt like dining in Hogwarts

And to end the day...

Once we got "home", with the help of Dylan's sister, Dylan, and Stephen, I was able to pull of a little surprise Birthday thing for boyf.

With Dylan's permission, I had the gift I bought boyf shipped to his house.
D's sis works at a bakery, so a few days before, I ordered a small mango mousse cake to be prepared for the day of his birthday. And while we were out at the cultural center, D's sister would bring it home.
Once we got back, I'd whine at boyf to go do something for me, to create a distraction while Dylan went and grabbed the gift and set everything up in the kitchen. Stephen would be the lookout and signal when I could stop being a brat and lead boyf into the kitchen.

The result:

He was so happy! And surprised! Wasn't expecting jack shit, but I can't do that to boyf, because he's my chicken.
Thank you SO much to Tabitha, Dylan, and Stephen for helping in his surprise. I could not, truly, have achieved this without you.

My drink was called Street Fighter. Probably because of the chili salt that kicked my ass.

aww

Slightly better, less swollen, sunburned feets.

What a trip.

Oahu is easily somewhere I can see myself at, just wasting away, happily. The vibe there is just so different from California. Everyone is chill. Even the traffic is polite. The weather is great, the food is dope. It's small. A "commute" there is 45 minutes. Jesus 45 minutes here is literally how long it takes to get from boyf's place to work. 30 minutes if we're leaving from mine.
It was pretty amazing. Sorry for the thousands of photos in this post lol. This has been loooooong overdue.

Um, it's 5:30 in the morning and we're going to the night market in 12 hours sooooooooo... did you find the peepee? OK BYE


here's a selfie ok byyye

¹It was stupid gross out.

Flaws

   Saving Nuka World is a big job. Gangs to befriend, collectibles to obtain, rides to explore. Sheesh. But it goes without saying that this Fallout 4 DLC is by far my favorite- even though the story in Far Harbor was incredible. And may I just say.. DiMA was quite satisfying to interact with. He was like a synth version of Dr. Manhattan. Mmph! 

My kink is extraordinarily observant and intelligent, hyper-rational, empathic bois with a calm disposition.

Fallout 4 still holds a monopoly over my life (save for Overwatch and Hearthstone).

ANYWHO. 

      So, a few days ago, I decided to try and improve something about myself that, I've realized, is flustering to some I'm close to. Maybe other friends have noticed this about me also but never said anything. Or they haven't. IDK. It's kinda silly.

It's a communication thing. I process things differently. Like, there are blanks that don't fill in for me automatically the way that they should. And in conversation, I find myself confused more than I should be. With multiple people. 

What one of my friends tried to break down for me is that I do not fill in subjective context that is delivered to me. That is to say that I do not assume purpose, meaning, or syntax if what is being said to me is not entirely literal. This happens often. And it clashes with the use of generalizations and ways of just assuming what a person "meant to say" instead of what they actually said. 

I have no problem having conversations with people. The problem comes with verbiage and expression. My redundancy is to reinforce clarification that ... I'm a social idiot that cannot pick up on what people are trying to say to me without becoming confused, followed by looking at them like a deer in headlights.

My boyfriend is so patient with me when I ask him to rephrase or clarify. As are my peers at work with whom I'm always communicating with. 

I'm not sure exactly what it is or why subjective expressions confuse me so much. Or why I simply just cannot register what is being construed. But I'm gonna try to improve on that. 

It's not something I'm ashamed of. If anything, it's kind of fascinating lol. My only guilt lies in that sometimes, my glitch is taxing the patience of my loved ones lol. They by no means make me feel bad at all, and are all for helping me in whatever way they can- even if it means making adjustments to their use of syntax. WHICH IS SO CUTE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH TT_TT

With every little idiosyncrasy comes an opportunity to improve! I'm not looking to "fix" that about myself. I don't even think I could. That's just not how my brain works. But I will try and be less analytical about what is being delivered to me. Which will ironically delay how I fully register something, but it's a start! lol 

Self-improvement things, yay! Honestly it's a virtue I only learned to fully embrace in my late 20's. And to that, I owe credit to 4 people for saying life-changing things to me. 

• The first| was an old friend from high school, Amanda. She once told me she felt I was conceited. I looked it up, and from then on, it was my mission to not make everything about my experiences or opinions. I thought she was my friend, so I took her words very seriously and worked on being mindful of how I presented myself, and my contributions to conversation. It stuck to this very day. Whatever intent was behind her saying that, it helped me.

• The second| was overhearing my high school ex and his friend talking about a girl. Not the subject of a crush or anything, just a homie of theirs. His friend was very smart, so I looked up to him, despite how intimidating he was to me. He said, "she never gets offended! She's so fun" as he laughed over some joke they discussed. He found her appealing, and was fond of her. That changed me. I agreed with him. Moving forward, I would reconsider how I perceived things so as to not allow myself to get worked up, or upset. It truly makes for more pleasant experiences overall when you're not looking for something to get angry over.

• The third| was my hiring manager in San Francisco. Upon hire, she mentioned to me that I will encounter all kinds of people. Some will simply be in a bad mood before walking through the door. Never take things personally. I took this advice and held it close to my heart. To this day, even when someone is making it personal, I do not register it as so, and turn away.

• And finally, the fourth| was an ex that told me I would get defensive. This was one of those things that I did not understand and confused me. Which only fueled that trait. It was a broad term that I didn't understand the social context of. It wasn't until later on that I worked with a defensive boss that it finally made sense to me. She made excuses for everything, and fault was seldom hers to own. Approaching her was often a challenge; the point of the message would surely get misconstrued into a personal attack instead of a means to solve a problem. This is what my ex was trying to explain to me, but I never understood until that point. And this is what changed me.

All this considered, the self-awareness I've gotten from all of these small things in life, totally makes feedback very precious to me. I welcome it openly. And improvement is something to always strive for. Now, I'm realizing another opportunity to adjust something that can lead to me being less confused in one on one conversations lol. Maybe it's a flaw, maybe it's not. I may just register things differently, and that's that. Either way, it doesn't upset me. Just something I could be more mindful of!
I definitely have a lot of personality flaws and traits that I wish I could just turn off overnight. But I try to keep them in check- unless you're a dick to me. Then, it's different! ha. But yeah. My brain poop. Scattered here. everywhere.

The funny thing is what got me thinking about all this stuff was really all the supportive and loving post it notes in the bathrooms at work!

It made me want to look at myself and analyze. Even more than usual lol. Kinda like a Windows update thing. Scan all the software, look for glitches, re-evaluate. I have to do it one glitch at a time but this is where I'm at, mentally. It's a good place. Makes me feel good ^_^ 

I think if more people did little software scans every now and then, instead of trying to get the next best hardware asap to compete with someone else's hardware, then we'd all probably be a little bit better off. 

This was a different kind of post but the next one will have more exciting photos and commentary lol. I'm sorry for the lame mental poop! I just love mental poops. Poops in general aren't appreciated enough. They're so relieving, and they tell you so much about what's going on in your body! LOOK IT UP. YOUR POOP TALKS TO YOU, LISTEN TO IT. 

Anyway. Yeah. Poop

Here's a picture of me squishing an extraordinarily observant and intelligent, hyper-rational, empathic boi with a calm disposition, in the cafeteria at work.

 a ghost is on my eyeball

THANKS FOR THE PICTURE, BRIAN