Sunday, September 8, 2019

BIRDDAY

   After I don't even know how long exactly, I finally committed to one character and leveled her to 16 last night. It's been crazy, man. But we're good now. I had rerolled 3 different characters on 3 different realms because of population. All of them to like, at least level 9. But yeah. Feels good lol. Also I lol'd when I saw this guild.



It's been a little bit. But yeah... SO MANY ADVENTURES! Many with food.

One of them..
Uhhhh, idk many people who like theater except for my bff and my housemate, but this one time, my bff was like

"wanna see shakespeare?"

and I was like;

"kay"


There was this play at UCI; Two Gentlemen of Verona. The coolest part about it though was the theater. It's this... circular arena looking thing. Completely assembled from the ground up with the purpose of being portable. And... it looks crazy on the outside. Like... made of sticks and floppy wood panels on the outside


but the inside was impressive. The seats line the inner walls in various tiers, and the lights give it that neon glow the kids are into right now. Super pretty

I can say that now 


 The play was performed in the old English script, but the costumes and characters were modernized for our time (but basically looked like a bunch of tourists visiting Santa Monica pier on a Saturday afternoon). I quite enjoyed it! We observe that throughout time, men are stupid and think they can just dump and buy affections in the same way possessions come and go. And regardless of how long they've been told otherwise, it's um... it falls on deaf ears.

I recommend watching it! ^_^ lots of good quotes!


Life is good, man.

Friendos are the chillest people in the world. Confident people are awesome lol




Speaking of friendo, MY BFF was dragged to our work by my Chicken ^_^ He didn't go kicking and screaming, but there may have been some gentle, assertive, naggy-ish, whiney nudging. Over a few weeks time.


This was also the first time they were meeting. And, I can't put into words how awesome it was. My Chicken and BFF, meeting for the first time, at my work, so my Chicken could give him a tour of our campus, and my BFF seeing first hand why we're here. AH, SIGH.




I wanted to take a picture of him at the orc statue
but he's a salty brat that wouldn't stand still





These pictures are bad but make me so happy 
T_T
I should get him a Blizz shirt mwahahHAHAHAAHHHAAAAAAA




don't leave me hanging you brat

After the tour, we all just sat near the orc statue and talked for a while. I was impressed by Chickens' knowledge. He doesn't come off that way ever, but it was cool to listen to. I mean... duh. Considering how long he's worked there. But still. I was googley eyed.


I obtained a new brain wrinkle too! I had... for a moment I forgot the name lol, Five Guys! For the first time ever. Many people seem to really like Five Guys. Chicken said it was because their food is fried in peanut oil, which makes the flavors more distinctive.


Burger and fries are one of those meals that I need to feel a mood for. Like at 1am on a Tuesday. I do like them! They're just, they taste the same everywhere we go. Because the ingredients are the same lol. But now I kinda want one. Damnit.
I will say though, Umami Burger is my favorite burger joint. Idk if it counts, because they're gourmet and taste nothing like traditional burgers.

Verdict: It just tasted like any other traditional burger, which was okay. The fries were good though :D
When several places sell burgers and they all taste similarly, I'm kinda meh about them. In-N-Out is... okay. There, I said it lol


We went on a cute little date, and he impulse bought a weighted blanket.



OH. OHHHHHHHH

Okay. So... we were out running errands, and just occurred to us to like, maybe bring a game home or something that we could enjoy with homies. But couldn't decide on what. Admittedly, the packaging for "Villanous" was really attractive. And it kept drawing us, but we couldn't decide.
Suddenly, this dude comes over to us and is like, you guys thinking about picking this up? And we were all, "idk" and he started raving about it. How he and his wife totally love it, and how fun it is especially with other people. And he was there to pick up the expansion packs. So basically, his passion convinced us to get it.

Also, next time...



We played until like, 3 am or something crazy like that. Started around 10ish. A LOT of fun!




With the launch of WoW Classic drawing near (at the time), it occured to me to bust out the ol hacks.


This thing is OLD. I picked it up the same time I went to pre-order WoW.


STILL WORKS GREAT.


o hei it me


Work is never short on loaves of bread


bread made me fat

another terribad selfie
Can't stop won't stop


Our movie nights have moved, and they've been so much fun lol



My pweashious babus


IPA


Soju


Wine



The list in the background looooooooolololll


Ah, yes. Even off campus, the Blizzard corgis materialize out of thin air




That night, this game went on probably for forever


Ahhh, so fun. My heart is full of happy


Also, we go out to eat too much lol



We've become regulars at our all-you-can-eat sushi spot. That's.... idk. Is that even good?


I told him we should take a picture together, and... his face in the first one


lol I thought it was cute cuz we were both wearing grey shirts and black pants lol


New monitorssss  :D
They're an upgrade from my old ones though. These are very special, and he gave them to meeeee I so happy. He explained that I can see the games how the artists and devs meant for them to be seen with these monitors. I was like, awwwww ^______^


Someone at work was wearing this shirt





These silly lushes





More galbi! This bad, we just went on Friday again. But, it was within reason because my Chicken got a new car!



We both did!

Except mine was under different circumstances. I am very, very fortunate and grateful that my parents.... basically hated my last car so much, that they delivered their old car to me, to replace my old one. As a birthday gift. It was ... I think I broke that morning. Just... broken.

For context, my dad had gotten this car, without telling my mom. They had agreed to get a van instead, but... lol. I've had my old civic since 2005. I loved it, it ran fine. Had lots of wear and tear, but it was fine. 125k miles. But they were worried that it was gonna die any minute. Which makes sense, but it was fine lol. So

They contacted Chicken, and arranged this whole elaborate surprise for me T_T He was in on it the whole time. And on that Saturday morning, I woke up to a phone call from him asking me to come outside to help him with something. I knew he was working on his miata, so I got up and went to open the door to help him. And I broke.

He poked his head out from behind our porch, with his phone, and on it I saw my mothers' face. 

I died. I was crying so hard, I couldn't move. The sheer shock was... it was like seeing a ghost, but pleasantly? I just stood behind the screen door, weeping hysterically and hyperventilating. He comes over to walk me out and hands me the phone, and I see my mothers' beautiful face smiling at me, laughing. Calming me down.

It was overwhelming for so many reasons, but one of them was because I had told them my civic was fine. It seems ungrateful, but ... I never want to inconvenience my parents. Ever. They've given me everything growing up, and I told myself that if I could help it, I'd never bother them for anything. Or bother anyone else. That I would make things work. But... they're so amazing. They're angels. I love them so much. 

My dad wasn't home at the time, so I spoke with her. But I wish I could be there to hold them both for forever, each. aaagghhh


The following day, Chicken and I went to appraise and trade in my old civic and get paperwork sorted out. And that was it. Shortly thereafter, Chicken got a new car too. And ... idk everything is so good right now. It's almost scary


here's more proof that we can't control our crappy appetites



For my birthday weekend, we went on a little vacation to NorCal.



Seeing Okamoto's truck was hilarious.
We have them at work, but on a 6 hour drive up to NorCal was just lol





Destination:
 Crunchy Roll Expo
Earlier this year, he surprised me with tickets because Junji Ito was going to be there. So yeah, we went because Junji Ito. Basically. But it was also nice to leave SoCal without a plane. I like long car rides ^_^



Pokemon Go paradise. We stayed at the hotel attached to the convention center. Sooooo nice. Aaannnd... we brought our laptops because we're garbage



We arrived Thursday evening. As soon as we settled in, I got really bummed out because I had forgotten to bring things that were basically the whole reason we went. I could feel myself becoming emotionally unstable, so I took a nap lol.


SO.
There autograph sessions with guests. One of which, yes, was Junji Ito. The instructions were;

The line for autographs will begin Friday 8/30, at 7:30 A.M. Please do not line up before that time. 
There will be another chance to get tickets at 11:30 inside the convention center.

So.

I left my hotel room, walked downstairs, it was about 7:15 in the morning by the time I got to the line. Not even 3 minutes later, an attendant walks down the length of the line and asks, "who's here for Junji Ito tickets?" I raise my hand. "They've sold out. But you can try again tomorrow morning."
Immediately, I felt numb. I responded with "okay!" and walked away. It was a bummer, but what annoyed me most is that NO ONE FOLLOWED THE RULES. THE DISRESPECT. It clearly said DO NOT LINE UP BEFORE 7:30.
The degenerates won the day. And my compliance made a fool of me. Shameful society we live in. SHAMEFUL, I SAY.

But it was fine because there were plenty of Pokemon gyms and stops nearby. I didn't even bother to go back up to the hotel. Just hung out outside waiting for the con to open and played Pokemon Go.


I think this was Crunchy Roll's 2nd year? Our first. And I gotta say, it was great.
The theme was Crunchy Roll city. There were even newspapers for attendees to pick up. And themed maps of everything, and how things were named. It was really, really cute.








Oh, hello again



Y U PHOTOBOMB T_T


this is fine






We had early access tickets, so we got to see the Junji Ito gallery first thing before the line started and got insane. And it totally did.



I couldn't believe it. All of his originals that I've admired for so long in his work, right in front of me. The detail!!!


In spite of the grotesque subjects, their beauty comes through brilliantly all the same. It's what is so mesmerizing. He made horror into something beautiful.









I was so happy, you don't even know. I've read all of his books, and eagerly await for the next adaptation he will have out.


He got the bento, I went with takoyaki


Later that day, Ito-san had a panel. 
We went in to the panel right before and got seats up front. And when it finished, we scooted over to the front row seats. It's despicable, I'm not proud of that but it was a full room and this was our chance. After that morning with the degenerates breAKING THE RULES, I was gonna do what I had to. And we did. HMPH.




He was doing a live drawing of Tomie T___T



At the end of the panel, a producer joined them, and they announced the Uzumaki anime coming to cartoon network. Fucking YES. They showed the teaser clip, and the room roared. I don't watch cartoon network, but this may be the exception.
Just checked their website and I can watch it online. Yay :D
(haven't had a tv or watched any since 2010)


Uzumaki cosplay so pretty!

From there, we just took our time to explore the con.



Wouldn't be an anime convention would... this stuff.


omg look at how HUMANE the work space is for the artist alley vendors. They have room to comfortably sit and move around. And there was air conditioning, too! And... attendees also had room to walk around and look at stuff. It was... beautiful. And not a fire hazard :)






:|





These walls are always fun to look at. Everyone goes nuts


lovely.


my contribution:




Not all heroes wear capes
She even provided samples of deodorant.
And we absolutely encountered folks who needed it. She's the hero we all need.


The first day, we went a little bit nuts with stuff

SO.
That Junji Ito skate deck? Chickens got it because I was stupid and forgot

my wig
my book to get signed
my gaming mouse

I felt like poop. But he's the best Chicken. I just looked at him like a dumbass and he goes, "now you have something to get signed :D"   
UWU

We got other stuff but kept it out of the picture. Mostly presents for our friendos.



I think the only SoCal cosplay peep I ran into was Alfred. Who's always been so chill.
I tried to get a cool flowing cape shot, but Chicken sucks at cape flipping xD
He's met Alfred before, and we actually have some mutuals from work, so that's like, just nice.


There was a thingy for wishes. My mom told me to make a wish on my birthday.


 Despite how tired and bloodshot my eyes were, I felt cute lol

AH, Okay. So, Saturday morning, I got my ass up at 5, and got ready. Went down around 6ish to get in line for autograph tickets. That's right, I BROKE THE RULE. A part of me still feels gross about it but whatever. I need to get over myself lol.

Um, the line was still huge. But I DID IT.


After that, I absolutely went back up to the hotel room and passed out.
I was ready to go by the time my scheduled signing came around. Skate deck in hand, Chicken and I made our way to the line. I was conflicted on what to do, because we were like 45 minutes early, but Chicken kept reassuring me that there would be time for everyone. I was traumatized by the lines from the morning and the one before. But he said we'd come back when the other autograph session before mine was scheduled to start, and once they let those people in, it would be wise to get into line at that point. He was right!

I waited in line, he went back up to the hotel to decompress. In the time I waited, I overheard a scalper 4 people behind me, just talking to someone next to him about how he's undecided on what he'd do if he can't sell what he's getting autographed. I wanted to .  . sigh. It was abhorrent. He'd settle for keeping it if it didn't sell but "why not make some money at the same time right?" I think he meant to sell one the autograph tickets as well. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it sounded like he was talking about that. 150 or 250, something along those lines. Unbelievable.
I hated him. I turned around and saw he had a plastic, clear case full of neatly contained graphic novels. Two of which were Tomie comics. I had no idea those even existed. He also had two autograph tickets. It was disgusting. His tone, the way he openly spoke about his intentions in front of fans. And I spotted another dude, a bald neckbeard to be exact, across from me in line (it zigzagged) with a new, unopened skatedeck. Stickers and labels still on it. Behind him stood a couple with a skatedeck too. She cradled it lovingly in her arms. Open, and prepared to accept an autograph from someone she respected. In front of him, another couple, with a gently used Tomie manga that they brought along with them. I kept glaring at his skatedeck, and he saw me do it.

I know we're supposed to give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it was a gift to his friend or significant other. But with the packaging in tact... and his demeanor... just felt so out of place. He was surrounded by fans, and he stood out.

I can't stand scalpers, man. They bum me out. I wish there was a way to penalize them without benefit of the dought guarding their slimey intentions. Because it was OBVIOUS. But there was nothing. I just glared. When we went inside for the signings, the comic book guy rearranged his plastic case on the floor in front of everyone. Showing off his wares. Was unbelievable. Loathesome, even.


ANYWAY, I was one of the first people to see him. And I hope he remembered me T_T. My only hope to go off on is that during the panel, he glanced over at me several times, to which I would smile at. A part of me wishes I had brought the Uzumaki sculpture I made- and he saw and retweeted! To give to him. But... it didn't even occur to me that morning while we were heading out. Just like how it didn't occur to me to bring the important stuff with me :D

WHAT A SWEET, QUIET, SHY BABU. He looked at me and nodded with a baby smile, I smiled and exchanged greetings, and he looked down to sign after asking where I preferred the signature and what color sharpie. Such a gentle disposition T_T MY SHY INTROVERTED SPOOKY PRINCE OF HORROR.


It occurred to me, like. How awkwardly funny it is to put two shy people in front of one another, and just watch how absolutely nothing happens lmao.


Yay OW cosplay!


OH MY GOD. This girl was in the panel before Junji Ito's the day before. She's voicing a character in a j-pop anime. And the whole time, I was going off to Chicken about how cute she is because of her ears. Like, she's so adorable and I love her and omg her ears are so cute because they're so pronounced. Her name is Ruri Umino, and their anime is

22/7 nanabun no nijyuuni

but but but, after my signing, Chicken had gone to the hotel room to relax, and I dropped my stuff off and came back down to wander. I passed by her and we exchanged glances, and she smiles and waves and I smile and wave and she goes "SO KIYOU" and I'm like omfg "YOU TOO! THANK YOU" and she starts bowing and says thank you and we're giggling like birds and saying thank you for forever until I backtrack far enough away to where the thank yous stop, but I was like AWWWWWW so rofl ... I circle around the booth lol and go back to see her and she's like "OOH HAIII :)))" and like omfg best friend "HIIII ^______^" and ask for a selfie. She apologized PROFUSELY, it wasn't allowed. Which I understood, but I told her it was okay I thought she was gonna cry she had this look on her face of like omfg I'm SO SORRY IT'S NOT POSSIBLE I'M SO SO SOR- you get it. But then I asked if just a picture was okay, and she nodded and said "OHH YEH!" and... there you have it. She called me cute again and all I could do was just say thank you 4 hundred times again with "YOU!" thrown in there- BECAUSE ITS TRUE. And yeah.

Japanese people are so polite. Even when they don't have to be, they're like... just so polite. Probably follow RULES. UNLIKE SOME NEANDERTHALS IN THE UNITED STATES.



Alfred was boothing there with a friend, and at one point, I went back and we got to talking about Junji Ito. And... he's been wanting to read Uzumaki for a while. I encouraged him (assertively) to just get it.



VICTORY


Once the hall closed, I went back up to the room, and made chicken pose with me :D



We checked out the arcade, and I learned that Typing of the Dead is extremely fun. If you can type fast.





And after that, there was a performance in the room next door. Sounded like awful weeb trash, so naturally, I was drawn to it.





Come Sunday, we were pooped.


He hates posing. It's cool, so do I.




 Cutest D.Va!


We left mid day, with full bags and gourmet chocolate. And Wendy's.


I was so ready for my bed, and my room.
 When we arrived at my house, this huge package was waiting for me!

 MY BFF GOT ME A THING
I moved in right away






He got me a bath caddy. Along with that, my housemate also got me birthday stuff :3
She knows me so well T_T
Bath & Body Workssssss!!! I love love love fall candles and their soaps and creams and stuff. She's the best. And how I can stink up the bathroom with a yummy candle and read in the tub comfortably :D

This post is frikkin LONG so I'm gonna end it here. 
Summer has been so much fun. A lot of stuff has happened and like, just life is good.

WoW Classic is great, and Blizzcon approaches. Then it's Holiday vacation. God this year went so quickly. It's unreal. It's true what they say, as you get older, the years fly by like nothing. Maybe it's because there's so much we deal with on a daily basis, time doesn't seem to be enough to juggle all the responsibilites we end up with. That's okay. We're good here. Just make the best of it and keep going!

Friday, August 2, 2019

HUE HUE HUE HUE


   There will be a ton of things that run through my head and wanna put on here. Like, on the drive to work, or just coming across something random, and then, as soon as I sit in my chair, it's all gone. And... I think to myself.. in the moment of my thinks, to record them somewhere, and then I don't. And my fleeting thought fleets and fleets and fleets... into the yonder. Until the next morning, it just... comes back to annoy me again.


AND HERE WE ARE with nothing to ponder about. Besides the fact that the end of this year is going to be extremely fun.

OH. I DID A THING


I went out :D To like, a whole situation
 It was actually quite nice. Mostly because people from work were there, and the atmosphere was warm and welcoming. I felt like an adult on an adult outing! It's not often that I go to bars. Unless it's a goth club. or a sushi bar. which.. is different. right? because fish? ANYWAY

I went to see this charming guy MR JAMEZZZZZZZZ psyche it's just James.


 It honestly was fun literally because people from work. If they hadn't been there, I probably would've gone into shock or something.



 Also, there was curry. And someone bought it on impulse. I had ordered a grilled cheese, this was at like 9pm on a T...sday... and it came with fries, and... then curry. Turns out, it was actually a precious child of Candace. And everyone loved baby curry. And basically treated the bowl of curry like an infant. But it felt right.




Blessed curry child


and then we ate the baby with my leftover fries. the end.


There are so many Blizzy doggo pictures on my phone lololol
But here's Gryffin. He reminds me of Tramp.


Breaks a new heart
every day


Also, lychee beer is probably the yummiest... one of the yummiest beers. ever. I don't even like beer.
that's a lie
I don't even really drink beer that much
but I like IPAs because to me, they taste sweet.

MY POINT IS LYCHEE BEER IS DELICIOUS



ALSO, TACOS AT 1 AM ARE SEXY




So my BFF is about to release his sequel to Scribbled Victims. I had the awesome duty of reading the draft to give him feedback on some scenes. It's long, and I usually like to take my time with books and read them at my shitty, slow pace. But THIS WAS WORK. jk, he just appreciated it, and I was like hokay. I binged it in 3 days i between work and naps.

It felt weird to do nothing but read as soon as I got home, before going to sleep, and basically just... read all evening. And then read some more. Read on my breaks. And read ... forever. It's a long book. BUT....


IT'S REALLY GOOD?! And I genuinely want some movie person or whatever to come across it and buy the rights for a movie. Because it's so beautiful. And I think his readers will be really happy with it. I gave him feedback on what he asked about, but overall, I'm like.. impressed lol. THAT'S MY BFF YO.

And like, I will say that maybe I'm a bit biased because that's my bff, but... when it comes to vampires... I don't want anything to do with it. I don't care. Vampires in current media are GOOFY. The stories are always the same, the tropes, the appearances, the over-doing it with melodrama and aesthetics and taking themselves too seriously. No.


but his stories are unique, and it's so easy to fall in love with the characters. There's a gentleness in the morbidity of his characters that make them more human than... most humans. Ahhh, so good. I can't wait.


Also I saw this at the Lab (i hate that place so much but also kind of like it secretly but still hate it) and it's cute and true.




It's summer. That means bf reluctantly pulls the hood down on his miata while I'm in the passenger seat. But... this one time, I encouraged it. I've never driven in a car with the hood down. It was actually quite nice.


I felt my skin burning alive, but for the short ride, it was a small sacrifice. 

So.. I'm gonna get more long sleeve shirts and wear my head scarf again :)


OH.
OKAY.
SHABU PEEPS.

Lemme show you the yummiest way to make a dipping sauce for your shabs. k?


Ponzu and sesame peanut sauce? MIX EM. MIX EM GOOD. FUCK IT UP
Then, take a raw egg, separate the whites and yolk, and throw the yolk in your sauce. Fuckign just... chuck it in there, so hard. Trust me.
Add some soy sauce.

Mix that fucker


If you're totally bitchin, like me, your egg will be 1337 and have two yolks in one. No one cares about egg whites, they're an accent. toss em into the depths of your sexy ass spicy broth.


Gross? Nah. Because look, the meat gets cooked, and as you take it from the broth and go to dip it in the sauce, the broth and sauce mix together, and the eggs slowly cook over time as the boiling meat gets introduced over and over to the sauce. Soon, you end up with ... dat sauwzz that's like so amazing, that you basically gave birth to.

83 years ago, someone taught me this when we went to Jazz Cat. I was a new woman. Shabu pro tip right there. Impress the noobs. Share the wealth.




So this new place near me opened up recently, and a lot of people were talking about it.
It was really pretty inside.




 She's so cute. Theater nerd.






 oh hey, its us.


And since we were really hungry, we walked to the packing district for food since it was like. 5 mins down the street. Also poutiiiiinnnneeeee


Tikka masala poutiiiiinnneee 
It was so good I'd eat it off the floor


Finally used our pool.

 Don't judge me ok

I BURN. It SUCKS.

When we went to Oahu, do you know what happened when I went to the beach? I got insane sunburn on my feet. It wasn't even sunny out. Just... ultraviolet DEATH BEAMS wrecked my feet. I was an idiot though. While I was wrapped in a towel, I left my feet out. Chicken said to bury my feet in the sand, but since it wasn't hot out, I didn't listen.

That was a mistake.

I couldn't walk because edema is WHACK.

So now... I swim in the shaded part of the pool lol. With protection. Because edema is horrible. and the uv index needs respect.

Chicken wants to go back to Oahu and I'm like... lmaoooo MAYBE

Do not ignore the uv index lol don't do it




nom :D




CURRENT PROJECT; that was totally revised because I'm an idiot :)

So, back in .. December? last year.. i started a clay piece very very... the wrong way lol. I mentioned in a previous post that I'm stubborn and like to learn things on my own without having to look anything up. It's is probably... the most awful and counter-intuitive way to get anything done; correctly or just.. ever. 
(I honestly think it's a weird complex I have from being an only child and feeling like my parents spoiled me, so as I got older, I don't like asking for help because I don't feel I earned it. Handouts are almost an insult. it's weird. i know.)

SO. I fucked up. Really bad. 
But! I also learned a lot. I learned what NOT to do lol. And just had to bite the bullet and start again from scratch. and I did, and it's coming out MUCH better than before!




Additionally, this time around, I asked for help, and am forever grateful to my friendo for sending me his high res renders of the in-game models he did. If anyone is familiar with Cydaea, she is very ornate, with tons of detailing all over her model. It was incredibly difficult to find reference images of her, even in game. But with his help, I will do my absolute best to do her beauty justice. She is after all, the maiden of lust. I gotta make her perfect.


Once she's finished, I got permission to display her at work. And honestly, that's all I want. I just want everyone to see how beautiful Cydaea is and ... that's it lol. Just... know of her. Love her. talk about her. I MEAN, LOOK AT HER. SHE PROBABLY TOPS AZMODAN




tops? what? 


I wanna make another cosplay already. tf is wrong with me I just finished one that I'm incredibly proud of. Maybe this time I'll just buy one instead. I do.... wanna shoot my Doujun somewhere though. Just a matter of where... and who would shoot it.

But, also like... caves. lol. I'd have to travel to one, in cosplay, at a certain time. and... that's weird. But.. on the flip side, I kinda want to shoot Doujun because... I love him lol. Like, he's so cool I really super like his character, and I hand slaved away on that cosplay. I mean, I've made a bunch of my cosplays, but this one was like... special. Can probably bug someone at work HUE HUE HUE HUE

It's weird though because getting my cosplays photographed isn't really... like.. i don't care. BUT DOUJUN IS SO PRECIOUS

idk, we'll see. I'm just musing. Shy potato reporting in to say that I don't like posing in front of cameras so.... looool?





ho lort my birthday is this month T_T