cynthx

  I don't even know where to start. Frankly, I'm in a bad spot psychologically, but refuse to succumb to it. So here we are.

Overwatch has been cathartic. It's easy to get lost in, even for a short while. But at the same time, I'm able to express something I feel strongly about too.

Make no mistake. This emote isn't new. Neither are any voice lines that seem to fit right now. But I equipped them. And it just feels really good playing her right now. Take from that what you will.

I've gotten some requests on bnet. And while I'm not claiming to know why, I attribute it to when I temporarily deactivated social media accounts.They're back again, but I will no longer be using them. Seeing as how cynthx is linked across all of my accounts and has been forever, they'll become placeholders.

as far as requests go, i'd appreciate it if you let me know who you are. otherwise it'll just sit there.

so here we are.

i'd advocate for mental health, but that only seems to matter to people when it's trending.

um getting in touch with me. if you have my contact or we're mutuals on platforms other than social media, awesome. if not, i don't know what to tell you.


It's been a while. Classes are done for now. I have all this free time now. And I'm listless. but a few things are cool. Like, I've been wanting to dig up old unfinished cosplays and add on to them.

This was my disciples cosplay that I started a while back, but when it came to making the chest plate piece, I kept messing up and wasting worbla. So called it quits. I tried using foam at first, but I wasn't able to manipulate it to do what I needed it to in order to keep its shape. Admittedly, I'm an armor crafting nub. Same with sewing. Shit is hard lol. Especially when you don't have a good command of geometry or 3 dimensional foresight, guesstimations, etc. I'll watch people make 3D shapes out of foam, even tiny ones, and they have all the sides mapped out in their head, including what edges to bevel to make it all sit together. Yeah, I can't fathom that.

When I made my Gastly pillow, I was trying to figure out how to cut out a shape that could be sewn into a sphere before looking anything up. It was so unfathomable to me. I couldn't comprehend it. Looked it up. mind blown. idk how i passed geometry in high school. 

Umm too much animal crossing led to a busted joystick on my Switch Lite. apparently that's a thing? "traveling" they call it. When the board registers a command to move your character, but without you ever touching the joystick to make that command. so i took it apart

Some people were saying it could be from dirty circuits. this didn't make sense to me because i had just replaced the casing, but tried it. didn't work. i also noticed the battery had swelled. irrelevant, just another part to replace. it's been a few weeks now. no more traveling. i'm not sure what changed, other than turning it off now when i don't play it instead of leaving it in sleep mode.
still need to replace the battery though. bleugh.

Speaking of replacing batteries....

mousepad on my laptop got chonky. my laptop looked busted. it worked fine, but again... battery swelled, which made the mousepad come up and pulled at the casing on the edges. yuck. so. took her apart too.

look at that chonk!

 Not okay. Can explode if neglected and continues be plugged in to charge. Then you yeet yourself extra hard since by that point.. can pretty much kiss your laptop goodbye. So yeah, if your laptop has a slight raise to it when it used to be sleek and flat, it means your battery swelled. Change dat bb asap.

 look at this

what is this

why

tsk tsk.

Taurus season has come and gone, but within it was the boy's special day. Social distancing was peak, but we still wanted to do something for him. So a few of us drove over and surprised him with food, pastries, and balloons at his front porch.

Some left, and 3 of us stayed to spend some time together inside; a company that was much needed.
He likes country music, so I got him a fancy hat that came in early. And he donned his dope Jason Charles Miller tee I got for him after Jason's show at Anime Los Angeles.
He's so hard to shop for because he's really into tech and a massive hardware geek, so he has every gadget and upgrade there could possibly be. but he doesn't have enough country stuff. so voila!

We also went to visit our friends at Seoul Street. It'd been a while since I had seen them.

We bought too much food. It was perfect

While in lockdown, making the effort to get ready every day had become almost non-existent. I wanted to just stay in pajamas all day and be a potato. While playing games, but a potato none the less. So... I've been trying to get back in that routine. It's a challenge! Especially when I never leave the house.

slowly. very very slowly.

 I've also been trying to flex other artsy muscles. I don't draw.

 Recently, I picked up VirtuaVerse. It's a pixelated indie point and click with a shit ton of puzzles. Can probably guess but it's very "cyberpunk" if you will. I'd been following it for a while after someone at work told me about it.
Anyway, there's a part where you come across this android character. And I fell in love with her immediately. So much so that she inspired me to try my hand at drawing her and using the new watercolor set I impulse bought. Um, I suck at color theory and don't understand how to see or capture light sources, but this was my go at her, and I'm happy with it.

VirtuaVerse was fun. If you're down for an indie game, that's definitely one to try. It's also quite beautiful.

And in another artsy muscle flex... I resumed a small project in my clay backlog. The more detailed it gets, the more frustrating it it because I have to use different clays. But it's gonna come out sick. I just have to stop being a baby.

Yes, it's Emil.

 New guilty pleasure:
Jack in the box's cheddar jalapeno poppers. I've met my perfect 1am snack. No more fries, no more nuggets... I just want these cheesey little babies. And then stop by the 7 leaves right after to pick up dessert?? mmmmpppf! *chefs kiss* it's heavenly.

Though... now that curfews are in effect, I'll have to wait to venture out. It's okay, it's worth it. 


The most amazing thing ever went down on Saturday.
There was a livestream hosted by Nostalgic Nebula with the original cenobites in Hellbound: Hellraiser II, where we all watched Hellbound together and got to chat with everyone. Including the composer Christopher Young and screenwriter Peter Atkins. Clive Barker was in the chat as well. But it was so surreal to be able to interact with them.
Like, they always say don't meet your heroes....

(um... well. yeah. there's truth to that actually.. that I think about it more..) BUT THEY WERE SO NICE and Nicholas Vince who plays my husband (Chatterer) kept smiling at my stupid fangirl remarks. It made my heart happy. Barbie Wilde who plays the gorgeous Female Cenobite was there too, Simon Bamford who plays Butterball, and Doug Bradley- the legendary Pinhead.

This was also where I learned about the Frida Theater in Santa Ana that hosts events where they play oldschool sci-fi and horror movies and set up cool events and stuff. I had no clue. They're now on my radar to check out in the future. Maybe be an excuse to bust out my Leechwoman and Julia Cotton cosplays again :D

I've been really bad though and haven't been reading. Like at all. Well... not books. So yesterday I picked this guy out from my shelf to re-read without distraction. The human condition right now is being tested without mercy. I felt this a welcoming escape.

And finally, it's shameful to admit, but I've never read this precious manuscript. The book that was, before the movies were ever a concept. It came in today, and I'm gonna eat it. Someone recommended this to me years ago.. someone from work. And idk why I didn't just get it. But here we are.

I'm in a queue for turnips that are selling for 609. It was 150 people long. I got in at 1:50pm. I am now #39 and it is 5:32pm. 

ahh. lol.

ROUND 2: FIGHT

  HAWRIGHT

Things got a little bad last night lol. Rewind:

I had a gradual cough since the 29th, Sunday. It got worse and came to a head the 31st. Yesterday, April Fools day, around evening, I started to get woozy and my headache escalated. I could feel myself flushing more and more. This is something I remember from last year. Where's that thermometer? She's coming! This fever binch is kicking my door down right now I can literally feel it. So I get the thermometer:

OH HAY QORL. ALRIGHT LETS GO.

I felt her parking in my driveway earlier in the day because my headache was there, but not as pressure-feeling as it was at the point of this picture. But took my temp anyway. It was 98.something I can't remember. Fluids all day. Animal Crossing. I even ordered pizza. I felt bad though cuz the guy was like can you sign? and I was like... lemme extra sanitize my hands cuz i'm sick :( and he's like OH THAT'S AWRIGHT. and I was like AWRIGHT. and we said our good nights. Sweet guy.

HEY PEEPS. Tipping delivery workers is common sense, but I'm hearing about people refusing to because some are zero contact? Or tipping really shitty. Jesus if I know someone who is guilty of that I hope I never find out because you're a piece of shit. 

ANyyyywaaayyy

As the evening progressed, the pressure in my head got ril bad. I got more woozy, and the feeling of flushing was now all over my body instead of just my cheeks and neck. This was around midnight-ish. I promptly put on Mom's got a Date with a Vampire on Disney + (because I'm a child, leave me alone) and got into bed with all my essentials. Earlier on, I prepared more tea, got more water, and while searching in the pantry, found ANOTHER pres drug that I didn't finish. Doxycycline Monohydrate. Used to treat infection. I don't know if this was from last year or if it was from my graft surgery.. either way, I grabbed it. 

So, one thing I will say, I never felt that this was COVID-19. Mostly because of the order of the symptoms, and... the symptoms.

Day 1 - annoying, random intermittent baby cough in the evening

Day 2 - slightly more consistent cough, low fever

Day 3 - constant dry cough, baby phlegm feeling in throat, fever

Day 4 - oh shit

Day 5 - ......

It made more sense to me if it were bronchitis. It's just coughing and phlegm and fever. But I can't rule anything out yet. We'll just have to see.

So, last night, I'm getting ready, and I'm feeling real bad. I get in bed and take my temp; 102.2. Makes sense. So I get animal crossing and try to do stuff on there. But a little before that, like an hour or something, I took a tablet of the doxycycline monohydrate. And right before getting into my nest for the night, I took half of an 800 ibuprofen. I also took the last of the codeine, which was barely anything but it was worth a shot. It's a cough suppressor. This wasn't all at once btw lol. And I'm in bed.

I start hallucinating while playing animal crossing lol. Like, I'm seeing things on the island that aren't there; shadows, shapes. And turn the brightness down because it was like.... staring into the sun. And I'm dizzy. And the pressure in my head is peak. I got yeeted by Fever-chan. I try to stay awake, but I'm sooooo drowsy. This is probably what it feels like if an actual Drowzee came at you full blast. 

yeugh

So, I'm like roflmao what is happeningggghhh. I'm thinking it's from the fever, but maybe also from the medicine. So I'm trying to not give into Fever-chan because I'm stupid, and basically go back and forth between Candy Crush and Animal Crossing that entire evening. One amazing thing throughout all of this lockdown thing though is.... my wish came true.

 UNLIMITED LIVES MWAHAHA. I've been "logging in" to this every day and I've accumulated like 30+ hours of unlimited lives. KING HAS HEARD MY PLEAS. I'm not even gonna pretend i don't love Candy Crush. It's so good lol. If this costs me some gAmER points, fuck it. I gotta tell my bf's family lol. So yeah, that. 

It wasn't until the pressure in my head and the screens became too much that I finally layed down and snuggled up to go to sleep. Instantly felt better lol. It was almost as though.... my body... was trying to tell me something. hm. 

lol

also this. Wasn't sure I wanted to do this but why not. It's gonna be a long year.

I slept through the night. And this morning woke up around 1pm :)
First thing I did was drink some water and take my temp;

HOORAY! That was weird, so I did it like 4 more times just to be sure. All 98 range. I feel a lot better. I'm drinking tea and lots of water. No more woozyness. The headache is still there but slight, and the cough came back. Lots of phlegm to cough up. But no more fever! SO.

I don't know if it's because of the medicine or what. But Fever-chan left. We're doing okay, I kicked that binch out sometime during the night. I don't know if Fever-chan will be back. It's impossible to say what will follow but it's I think safe to assume that she's gone. Hopefully? 

During all of this, I was keeping up with what steps to take in the event that I am infected with COVID-19. A lot of sources say to stay at home and monitor your symptoms for 7 days. If questions arise, the best thing to do is to call a care provider. If you don't have one, call an urgent care center. They will assess the situation and give guidance. If your chest hurts, and breathing (an autonomous bodily function) becomes arduous, act immediately. These are 2 emergency symptoms that require urgent attention. Otherwise, liquids and rest are imperative. And no hugging.

That's the summary of everything I've read up on. It's hard right now to not freak out at the slightest inkling of being sick, but for the sake of resources and the workers in the hospitals right now, it's important to utilize the knowledge we have and apply it to our situation before losing our shit and going to go see them. This is important because there are people who have it that are struggling to live, and we don't have practitioners to spare to tell us all that we're gonna be fine, just rest up. We have to take that initiative ourselves and have faith that we can get through it. Treat it like a bad flu. If it escalates, take action, but only if it escalates. Otherwise, remain calm and do not put your body under further stress. It won't help you get better. 

Validation note: that was obviously directed to those less vulnerable and without compromised immune systems.

So. So far, I feel better now. I think the worst of it is gone. I'm gonna keep drinking lots of liquids and whatnots. And pizza. and hacking up phlegm. I could taste it in my throat when I woke up this morning, it was... lame. Um, but the fight isn't over. My body is still healing, so it's important to chill and not stress it. 

I'm good though. I have candy crush and Animal Crossing. both good for bed-rest. 

With that... ADIEU, DEAR READER.

Be vigilant. Be knowledgeable. Be safe.

Round 1: FIGHT

  In the spirit of good health, I'm just

I'm wearing a mask in my own home :D 

Um, I'm sick. It's okay. An annoying but mild cough with scratchy throat started 2 days ago, and got aggressive and consistent all of yesterday. And here we are today! What's interesting though is... when checking my instagram around this time last year, there's a picture of me with a mask on the 14th of this month. It was the day I was sent home early, just in time before taking a massive blow from the flu. I remember what that fucker felt like when it was coming on. It went after my throat first. Which is what I'm feeling right now. 

What is bizarre though is that I haven't left my house almost this whole time. I went to pick up my take out last week. And been in here ever since. What could be the culprit however.... is lack of hydration. I like to think that I'm decent with it, but.. I sleep with a space heater. It's coded in my genome to sleep like a warm little chicken all cuddled up and toasty. The problem with that is; no humidifier. So I had been waking up with a sore, scratchy throat in the mornings from most likely, dehydration. 

After impulse buying a cute LED humidifier last night, I grabbed all my left over medicines (from last year's visit to the doctor) and have them all now at my arsenal. I don't like taking medicine, but if it is the flu, I'm not gonna go down without a fight lol. 

My breathing is fine. My body temp went up a liiiiiittle bit since yesterday. But no fever. I'm monitoring everything just fine. But man! The timing is impressive lol. Almost 15 days apart from last year. 

If it is COVID-19, I know what steps to take. But for the moment, I'm monitoring how my body reacts to this bug. 

PICTURES :D

I'M SO PROUD OF THIS.

Amid my annoying coughing yesterday, it only took me the whole day to make my Hellraiser Kotobukiya figure's outfit in Animal Crossing. IT'S SO CUTE. And she's so cute. And everything is cute. And I'm so proud of this because the custom design thing is hard for me lol. I still have a ton of improving to do, but this came out better than I expected.

 The biggest challenge with these is like... knowing how to even start. Or where to start. Her dress is so crazy detailed. But I did my best lol. 

Ultimately though, I had to change the skin color on the dress because my character unfortunately isn't that lovely shade of ghastly periwinkle.

 And then the pins on the face were the last touch. I'm.... still not 100% happy with how those came out, I think I can soften it up more. But for now, it's fine. SO CYOO.

I tried watching an anime, but got distracted. So I've been binge watching the Brady Bunch (in the background) while playing either Animal Crossing or Dark Souls 3. And when I can pull myself away long enough, manga keeps me company.

 

Ah yes, anime tiddies. Ironically, I read that manga (Monster Musume) and the anime is bleh compared to the manga. But.. that's pretty much like, with everything book related. I'm still butthurt over how Netflix did Ghost Bride dirty. The book was beautiful, spooky, and had really awesome characters with fascinating arcs rich with Eastern culture regarding the dead, and Netflix just.... shat on it. I'm never getting over it. 

The cast is good though.

ANYWAY, THIS IS MY ARTILLERY.

I am going to drink everything ever, even if it means I have to pee every 5 minutes. Those... that's ibuprofin, amoxicillin, and codeine. None of which I like to fuck with, unless shit gets real. Shit hasn't gotten real YET, but I'm prepared. We got water, tea, spicy seafood neoguri noodles.... the essentials to fight this bitch. Guys the flu sucks lol. If it does hit me again like it did last year, I'm gonna be so sad lol. It hung out for 2 weeks. The good news though, if it is that... I can order delivery! I've been controlling myself and only eating what I have here. But... we're gonna go with last years tradition of eating delivery and staying in my room. Which isn't' that different from this year. Except... for.. delivery..................... 

YEAH. So that's where we're at.

I'm gonna try to document it if it escalates. My confidence in this is pretty sturdy, I think I got a good handle on it, and I'm not panicking or anything. Even if I was, it would accomplish nothing except put my body under further stress. So, I'm fine. Gonna take it ...easy......  whatever that means... considering... yeah. I'M CHANGING NOTHING, BASICALLY, AND WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES.

Note: don't forget that allergies and the flu are still chillin around this time of year. If you feel like you're getting a bug, the last thing that your body needs is to stress from panic. Assess your symptoms, hydrate, and listen to your body. Right now, mine is telling me that my throat is pissed, and my body might get warmer to fight whatever bug is chillin in there. So I'm gonna handle that. 

I hope everyone's doing alright and remains safe. It's a dumb time in our existence on this planet, but we just gotta work as a unit to overcome it. Or don't. If not, most kindly and severely go fuck yourself.

I say that for my cousin, who is a nurse. And my aunt, who lives in Italy. :)

STAY SAFE PEEPS

Malware

  

   Does your head ever get super loud out of nowhere when you're trying to play candy crush before going to sleep? Sleeping a lot when I'm supposed to be awake instead helps. Though, sleeping a lot is probably not the best way to pass my time, but... overthinking is a flaw I have that if left unchecked, propels me into compromised perceptions. Like malware. But I think I just need to step away from stuff and clear my head. 

This happened a few months ago. Meltdown thing, kind of. I got past it, but it was draining. I feel like I wanna leave here and be alone on an island for a while. Eat gummy bears and play candy crush with infinity lives until zombies break out and destroy the planet. Or pull a Thoreau and just... live in the woods. And overthink. And keep a diary of all of my mad ravings. And that'd be my life, and it'd be fine. Ugh, and then some annoying hikers in their mid-20s would come across my cabin and want to vlog the encounter for their stupid youtube channel. God... what would I even do? I'd play dead lmao. And when they'd try to break into my cabin, they could explore everything and when they see my body, I'd break my "death" and screech at them like some rabid .... thing.... that just escaped out of a burning man tent. I'd scream incoherent lyrics from a BlackPink song, moving around in sudden jerks and pops, and then faint right in front of them. 

And then when they, mortified, try to draw close to see if I'm awake, my eyes dart open, and I whisper

 dOnT foRgEt To hIt ThAt LiKe AnD sUbScRiBe. 

and probably throw water on their equipment for trespassing into my house and filming without permission. That's harsh, but if that actually happened, I bet my life that they would post everything on a monetized platform. That's like, what people do now. Everything is monetized. Even interacting has turned into a transaction. People are putting themselves behind a paywall in order to be interacted with. It's not even a service being provided anymore. It's just... they exist on some platform, and feel that existing is enough to charge people to interact with them. 

Bizarre. I wish I thought I was that important but ... something about that way of thinking repulses me.

Speaking of predatory things! It's done! I finished Saga! Volume 1 at least. It's a book a coworker let me borrow a trillion years ago. Said I'd like it.

 I DO. I love HER. The Stalk. How predictable is this? VERY. I love her so much hnnnngg. And I'm THIS close to abandoning everything and creating a cosplay of her lol. She's so beautiful! Aggghhh. It's not fair. Why can't I be her T_T

Today though, because last night was especially stupid, I finally washed my desk mat.

Bath and Body works not only has great bath and body products, but they also work great for desk mats! Any mild soap works really. But I like yummy smelling gels that can really soak in there. They're safe to clean with warm water and soap, and just air dry. Only have to make sure to ring it out really well.

And earlier today, I made a batch of spam musubi.

 I've already eaten 4. They're so good I can't help it.

I also bought a 5lb bag of gummy bears. I don't like candy, but every now and then I'll crave something sugary and it's annoying that we don't really have sugary stuff in the house. OOPS. So this has been me. Also getting through Dark Souls III. It's fun. My character has a whip. She's a sorc, but I'm also giving her some mmpf in that whip lash. It's just really satisfying.

I hate when I get like this. I have to snap out of it. Probably be over it in a few days, but til then, all I wanna do is sleep this off. It's almost as if there's like... something that's keeping me up at night that won't let me sleep. Besides me. And my thoughts go racing. Out of nowhere. When all I wanna do is play candy crush. I just want it to stop. This haunting mental malware bullshit.

I also missed the turnip lady in Animal Crossing again this morning, so that's probably it. I'm sure of it.

welp. time to start a patreon!

Quarantini and chill

   Everything has come to a screeching halt. The burned rubber smell on the concrete is actually, in my case, the intensity of frosty tiger balm mintiness overpowering my nasal cavity, as it radiates furiously off of my wrist. My wrist? Why yes... my left wrist. The one that developed tendonitis from work. 

But it was worth it. Because now I have my museum, my shop, my upgraded house, a new island resident, a bridge, ladder, new fruit trees sprouting, made my dope Junji Ito windbreaker in the pro custom design thingie, my house has cute wallpaper and floors, and I'm pretty much all caught up with errands and tasks in Animal Crossing New Horizons. So. 

I am... like many (but unfortunately not all) people in the U.S., bound by law to stay home. This is how my dive into isolation began; 

These were night time pancakes. I got the recipe from a friend's sister who made them for us while we were in Hawai'i, and was craving some. They're the best fucking pancakes ever.

 There was enough for 12. And generally, I don't care much for pancakes because to me, they don't really taste like anything unless you put syrup on them. And I don't like syrup. Too sweet. But these are vanilla and are slightly sweetened and super buttery and they're amazing and mmpf.*chef's kiss*

Thank you, qorl. Your pancakes are da bess.

There will also be lots of photos in weird lighting because, my desk is my happy place. And I do most of my hobbies at my desk. So.

SPEAKING OF HOBBIES

 Before everything came to screeching halt, I'd been doing horrific visions in WoW trying to get the mail muncher mount. I've already given up on the K'uddly pet. He's like .02% drop rate. I'm over it. So, as I do with other stuff I can't acquire but want enough... I started making a clay version of it.

 I forgot about the wire frame part and had to maneuver that in there. It sucked. But now it's poseable. But, like I said... screeching halt. I had to get ready for my math class.

Oh, and my housemate had brought home lemons she received as a gift. And when life gives ya lemons, ya make 

 lemonade with too much vodka in it :D

All that vitamin C though. A great recipe for a quarantini. The sky was overcast, no sounds outside, our pool, desolate. 

It's perfect.

 I may or may not have been buzzed during my evening math class.

Everyone copes in their own way.

 *screeching halt*

Thursday evening.

Animal Crossing.

Leftovers.

Cool lighting in my room.

Everyone leave me alone forever.

I was in heaven.

Granted, I haven't played New Leaf. So like, all the Isabelle memes go right over my head... I never bothered to get a Wii. Um, Pocket Camp, Wild World, and og Animal Crossing.. those I did play like a coked out gremlin. 

Note* -  I don't own game consoles. I just don't want any. The idea that a console is made only for games seems backwards in comparison to a PC. Like, I can't go from my PC where I do all of my gaming, writing, browsing, photo stuff, entertainment... to a console that tries to mimic that except does worse because I'd have to get a keyboard to type to people on it anyway? If not that, then resort to speaking to them. Like, no. I'm good. 

Console exclusives... I can live with that. I mean, there are membership services that make it so that I can play those titles on PC anyway, so .... I haven't found a good enough reason to justify getting consoles. I rather upgrade my PC.

There you have it. I only fuck with computers.

Well, until recently. Lol, I was in zero rush to get a Switch Lite. But, seeing as how I'm virtually breathing nothing but tiger balm fumes because of my wrist, it's a good thing my Chicken is as snobby as he is lol. I'm grateful to him! But I'm being careful. He says this wouldn't have happened if I had preferred a regular switch because of the joy cons, but ... I don't like the Switch. It's chonky. The joy cons are... unflattering. The dock... exists. And I much prefer the comfort of snuggling in bed with my tiny Switch Lite.

If women are allowed to corset train to 16 inch waists, then I'm allowed to over-do it a bit with my wrist and play AC 8 hours straight. 

On Friday evening, we held our movie night. It was cute.

 There was a nice, cute, intimate vibe about doing this remotely. Hearing all our friends voices after everyone started joining was like.... awww :)  lol

This especially because, I don't... I'm..... not the most social person. I have discord, but never used it. I've tried to join servers to motivate myself to be more proactive, but they're overwhelming and keeping up with conversations is exhausting. So I just don't bother. It's probably why watching people on Twitch is just.... grossly unappealing to me. I just... I don't care. I don't care for the chat, or what anyone has to say. I rather be by myself, free of dialog driven obligations or opinions. I don't MIND engaging. Like if someone asks me stuff, it's fine. It doesn't bother me. But conversation becoming a constant throughout my day while I'm trying to focus on something is not an attractive routine to me.

So how am I doing throughout all this isolation stuff? I'm actually fantastic. While I miss Chicken because he has to work from his office set up at his place, I'm ... wonderful. No cabin fever, no weird pacing around or loneliness.

PSYCHOLOGY-ISH THINGS TIME:

So, I've noticed, in my adulthood, that often times, people don't wanna go home. And, to me, that's alien. Like, why not? I'm talking adults who have their own lives away from parents. And.... that's fascinating to me, because more often than not, all I ever want is to go home. I don't know their reasons, but sometimes I wonder if it's because... for as long as I've been able to... my area... my space where I spend a lot of my time... I made it exactly to my comforts and liking. My room is littered with ... posters, figures, craft stuff, decor... of things that make me happy and that I love. It's almost alive. Like, I turn around, and see my standee of my Guild Wars necromancer holding ALL of my convention lanyards from way back in 2012. Gifts, projects, even my bed is a reflection of what I love. So I come in here, and it makes me happy.

Ironically, I'm not a materialistic person. Experiences are my preference. But funny enough, those experiences often times come with a souvenir. One example I find intriguing was a coworker told me that they aren't a "stuff" person. As in they don't just have stuff. This was after I told them that instead of getting a Switch, I bought the Lilith statue lmao. They were baffled. Almost in utter disbelief that I would rather get a statue than a console. Which... therein demonstrates not only my stubborn commitment to my computer lol, but also my admiration for adorning my space with beautiful things. This statue marks the most awesome Blizzcon we've had. The people I know who worked on her. The inside jokes between me and friends. And her sheer beauty. I can add her to my spooky waifu collection (which is small because DESIGNERS ARE SLEEPING ON SPOOKS).

Anywho... I am under the impression that if people took the time to invest in making their spaces truly theirs, a mirror of everything that they love, maybe isolation wouldn't be as much of a challenge. But this... coming from a natural hermit... I could be way off. And perhaps I simply just don't understand not wanting to go home. I mean... I felt that way before, but that was in like... high school lol. 

My housemate is also pretty antisocial. Except she reads. And her deadpan humor sometimes splits my sides from laughter so it's probably for the best, because not everyone can appreciate sarcasm as a constant. Which is so unfortunate.

Anyway. Um. I don't think that was as psyche-y as I thought it was? Probably just me overthinking. Or making up stuff from details I notice to try to understand something. I'm probably entirely wrong. 

um either way. I'm great! 

I hope everyone else is doing alright. Shit is wack. I mean, I'm fine lol, but it's kinda lame that I can't just go sit inside Seoul Street's shop and chill with them. Or get galbi jjim at Sun Nong Dan. THAT'S what I'm most bummed about. But... oh well. 

BACK TO VIDEO GAMES and maybe homework :B

be safe peeps, and don't go out unless you have to gdi