"Sandwiches"

There was a promise I made last month; that I would keep my mouth shut until it was announced. And I fulfilled that promise, so now I'm gonna go off.


The first entry where I ever mentioned them: 6/27/16

"idkwtf i was eating
it was from Seoul Street. Was some kind of Korean street food place
whatever
it was awesome" 

The rest is history.

Hi, welcome to my blog, where sometimes I go on tangents about how amazing Seoul Street is.

It's been a decent 4 years watching them grow.

 

I've gone through old entries trying to find some photos of them to share. Just because I'm so fond of them.

 

I came across Seoul Street at the night markets. Their booth was tall, their signage colorful and stood out among the rest. And the food on it look bomb. 

 

 Over time, as I kept revisiting their booth every time the night market was around, they'd remember me, and I was more than happy to be their patron.

 

They were at cons too. I think some of these are from K*con.

 

But every chance I got the opportunity to share their food with other people, I'd take it.

 

  

Until one day, they finally did it. 

They took root in their own little shop, in Irvine. I couldn't believe it. And when they told me, I was ecstatic for them.

 

 

We came to support them as soon as we could. And it kept going like that for a while.

 

 

So what was I keeping my mouth shut for?

Last month when I went to see them, they told me news about having to pick up and leave.

After all their hard work and dedication in trying to find a location they could settle in for a while, they have to leave. I was gutted.

Why?

The owner decided that it's a better idea to have a deli shop, that sold soups and sandwiches. And their type of food just wasn't gonna work out.

I just look at them with a skeptical glare... and they nodded, reaffirming my thoughts.

What's worse is that the business that was there before them sold sandwiches and soups.... 

So this guy, this old white guy (i don't do this usually but there's no sugarcoating it) is kicking them out because Asian food isn't good for business during COVID-19. To put it bluntly. That's exactly what's happening. There was no room for negotiation, nothing. No offer for renewal. He just wants them gone, to be replaced with "American" food. And I wanted to run over to the leasing office and be rude, but they were closed, and I don't do that, but I wanted to. 

Chicken was there with me. Disgusted and at a loss for words. It was unbelievable and yet not surprising at the same time. I was so angry for them. All they can do is try to stay strong in this and leave with the hope that the next thing will be better. And it will be. But to leave like this is a gross reminder that people are infuriatingly really, really stupid- not just ignorant, because ignorance at least can be remedied... but to willfully remain ignorant, and to perpetuate divisiveness over business and property like that? To dismiss a family owned business who are Korean in the middle of this pandemic... that's so fucked. The Kims don't deserve that. 

They told me not to say anything. We were one of the first people they told. So... I didn't. 

The drive home was bitter. Angry.

Today, Chicken told me to check Seoul Streets instagram- as they finally made the announcement. I've been off the social media grid, but opened the browser to check in, and read it.

You can see it for yourself, if you've ever had their stuff and know how amazing it is, and how amazing they are. They don't go into the detail that I do, but know that it wasn't their choice to leave Irvine. But it's also really great to see that they are relocating to another location in Long Beach, and are expecting to return to Irvine as well. 

I made this post as a reminder that behind closed doors, racism is happening in all kinds of ways. Some you see and hear about, some you don't. And it pisses me off especially when it happens to people who are kind and hardworking. What did they do besides feed happy bellies with their delicious food? 

Fuck that place. Fuck that guy. The leasing manager at that strip is a racist POS and they deserve better. 

So.

Looks like I'll be checking out Long Beach next month. But not before I get my Seoul Street fix this weekend. 

I implore you, if you are in the area, check them out. You won't regret it.

Lives

   Perspective can be powerful. I don't think we really understand how much so. It's the perfect tool to demonstrate and capture another experience. If only we were open to seeing it.

But like many tools, it must be used correctly in order to be effective. Otherwise, perspective can be lost in the shadow of zealousness.

How then, can we utilize perspective. It's so powerful, it should be easy. But nah. It begins with Listening. Not just hearing what is being presented, but stopping ourselves from thinking for a moment, and take it in. Sit on it. Think on it.

My brain likes to break things down and dissect stuff, so lemme break this down for anyone who happens on this, and isn't clear on what is going on right now.

Listen

Then... understand. Can you understand why? Understand the foundation?

Common misconception; understanding doesn't mean you agree. I understand what Surgeon General Shiro Ishii was trying to accomplish at Unit 731 in World War II. End of statement. That's as far as it goes.

Agree or disagree, that is your right, but these are two huge factors when it comes to something as simple as gaining perspective.

And then on the flip side.... presenting perspective... well like I said... our zeal could ruin it.

So lemme do this.

All lives matter. "All lives matter!" they say. Which isn't incorrect. In fact, most, if not all people can agree that yes... peoples' lives matter. A life is a horrible thing to lose, especially in such wasteful ways. And, since we all agree, lets take a look back a little bit... just 60ish years ago... some lives mattered a little more than others. And by a little, I mean a metric tron. It's been a long time since then, hasn't it? That's someone's grandma, or great grandma- grandparents, whathave you. Where they grew up in a time where.... lives were valued differently. 

Generations go by.

We pass on what we learn down to our kids. 

And a lot has changed. Then things seem like we're headed in a new direction, turning our backs as a collective to barbaric practices of our past. And yet lives can't seem to fall into the same column of value.

One could say, well.... some lives are not ones of value. Some are lost to our own worsts creations and vices. And this isn't untrue. And it's very unfortunate. What's even more unfortunate is... I would say, some are even born into those environments. What fault of theirs is that? 

And generations go by.

We pass on what we learn down to our kids.

Those lives' value somehow dropped before having a chance to be a seen as a human first and foremost.

And other lives values go down... on the basis that..  their upbringing and culture is different than yours or mine. Hmm. Their life matters... but not as much as someone who, at first glance, looks like you. Perhaps you are of latin blood, asian, middle eastern, polynesian, or white heritage. and they are Black. 

and while all lives matter, because they do, somehow... our lives are not all on the same plane of value. Why is that? Until we can assess and figure out why that is... the question will never go away. Why is it that my life carries more weight than descendants of those that not even a century ago were treated as expendable property? I wasn't even born here.

Black lives carry a different weight than non-blacks. Why? That is the question that demands an answer. There is a stigma in Black history that some of us have carried with us and let that rot our perception of how we look at other human beings. It happened, and there is a lot to heal from still. But as much as we want all lives to matter equally, the fact of the matter is.... they do not. They matter, but not equally. Not even close.

Right now, we need to understand this. Understand that Black lives need to matter just as much as everyone elses. That means.... profiling cannot be used as a tactic by cops to size up civilians. It needs to be re-evaluated and combated with updated training on case by case de-escalation, and not treating one person based on collective statistics.

We must rectify this. We cannot let a force to protect communities have weak links. The chain has shattered. At George Floyd's expense. His life had no value to those policemen in those 9 minutes. Why? What was their thought process? What in their hearts made them believe that this was the way to go about it? Protocol? Or did they see him as lesser because of who he was?

Right now, we can be vessels for those whose voices trail off... and get shut out. Right now, it's important for us all to understand the values we hold with our appearances, the color of our skin, our upbringing, the lessons we've learned... and to make sure we are all on the same plane. Listen. Understand. Have perspective.

Black Lives Matter.

cynthx

  I don't even know where to start. Frankly, I'm in a bad spot psychologically, but refuse to succumb to it. So here we are.

Overwatch has been cathartic. It's easy to get lost in, even for a short while. But at the same time, I'm able to express something I feel strongly about too.

Make no mistake. This emote isn't new. Neither are any voice lines that seem to fit right now. But I equipped them. And it just feels really good playing her right now. Take from that what you will.

I've gotten some requests on bnet. And while I'm not claiming to know why, I attribute it to when I temporarily deactivated social media accounts.They're back again, but I will no longer be using them. Seeing as how cynthx is linked across all of my accounts and has been forever, they'll become placeholders.

as far as requests go, i'd appreciate it if you let me know who you are. otherwise it'll just sit there.

so here we are.

i'd advocate for mental health, but that only seems to matter to people when it's trending.

um getting in touch with me. if you have my contact or we're mutuals on platforms other than social media, awesome. if not, i don't know what to tell you.


It's been a while. Classes are done for now. I have all this free time now. And I'm listless. but a few things are cool. Like, I've been wanting to dig up old unfinished cosplays and add on to them.

This was my disciples cosplay that I started a while back, but when it came to making the chest plate piece, I kept messing up and wasting worbla. So called it quits. I tried using foam at first, but I wasn't able to manipulate it to do what I needed it to in order to keep its shape. Admittedly, I'm an armor crafting nub. Same with sewing. Shit is hard lol. Especially when you don't have a good command of geometry or 3 dimensional foresight, guesstimations, etc. I'll watch people make 3D shapes out of foam, even tiny ones, and they have all the sides mapped out in their head, including what edges to bevel to make it all sit together. Yeah, I can't fathom that.

When I made my Gastly pillow, I was trying to figure out how to cut out a shape that could be sewn into a sphere before looking anything up. It was so unfathomable to me. I couldn't comprehend it. Looked it up. mind blown. idk how i passed geometry in high school. 

Umm too much animal crossing led to a busted joystick on my Switch Lite. apparently that's a thing? "traveling" they call it. When the board registers a command to move your character, but without you ever touching the joystick to make that command. so i took it apart

Some people were saying it could be from dirty circuits. this didn't make sense to me because i had just replaced the casing, but tried it. didn't work. i also noticed the battery had swelled. irrelevant, just another part to replace. it's been a few weeks now. no more traveling. i'm not sure what changed, other than turning it off now when i don't play it instead of leaving it in sleep mode.
still need to replace the battery though. bleugh.

Speaking of replacing batteries....

mousepad on my laptop got chonky. my laptop looked busted. it worked fine, but again... battery swelled, which made the mousepad come up and pulled at the casing on the edges. yuck. so. took her apart too.

look at that chonk!

 Not okay. Can explode if neglected and continues be plugged in to charge. Then you yeet yourself extra hard since by that point.. can pretty much kiss your laptop goodbye. So yeah, if your laptop has a slight raise to it when it used to be sleek and flat, it means your battery swelled. Change dat bb asap.

 look at this

what is this

why

tsk tsk.

Taurus season has come and gone, but within it was the boy's special day. Social distancing was peak, but we still wanted to do something for him. So a few of us drove over and surprised him with food, pastries, and balloons at his front porch.

Some left, and 3 of us stayed to spend some time together inside; a company that was much needed.
He likes country music, so I got him a fancy hat that came in early. And he donned his dope Jason Charles Miller tee I got for him after Jason's show at Anime Los Angeles.
He's so hard to shop for because he's really into tech and a massive hardware geek, so he has every gadget and upgrade there could possibly be. but he doesn't have enough country stuff. so voila!

We also went to visit our friends at Seoul Street. It'd been a while since I had seen them.

We bought too much food. It was perfect

While in lockdown, making the effort to get ready every day had become almost non-existent. I wanted to just stay in pajamas all day and be a potato. While playing games, but a potato none the less. So... I've been trying to get back in that routine. It's a challenge! Especially when I never leave the house.

slowly. very very slowly.

 I've also been trying to flex other artsy muscles. I don't draw.

 Recently, I picked up VirtuaVerse. It's a pixelated indie point and click with a shit ton of puzzles. Can probably guess but it's very "cyberpunk" if you will. I'd been following it for a while after someone at work told me about it.
Anyway, there's a part where you come across this android character. And I fell in love with her immediately. So much so that she inspired me to try my hand at drawing her and using the new watercolor set I impulse bought. Um, I suck at color theory and don't understand how to see or capture light sources, but this was my go at her, and I'm happy with it.

VirtuaVerse was fun. If you're down for an indie game, that's definitely one to try. It's also quite beautiful.

And in another artsy muscle flex... I resumed a small project in my clay backlog. The more detailed it gets, the more frustrating it it because I have to use different clays. But it's gonna come out sick. I just have to stop being a baby.

Yes, it's Emil.

 New guilty pleasure:
Jack in the box's cheddar jalapeno poppers. I've met my perfect 1am snack. No more fries, no more nuggets... I just want these cheesey little babies. And then stop by the 7 leaves right after to pick up dessert?? mmmmpppf! *chefs kiss* it's heavenly.

Though... now that curfews are in effect, I'll have to wait to venture out. It's okay, it's worth it. 


The most amazing thing ever went down on Saturday.
There was a livestream hosted by Nostalgic Nebula with the original cenobites in Hellbound: Hellraiser II, where we all watched Hellbound together and got to chat with everyone. Including the composer Christopher Young and screenwriter Peter Atkins. Clive Barker was in the chat as well. But it was so surreal to be able to interact with them.
Like, they always say don't meet your heroes....

(um... well. yeah. there's truth to that actually.. that I think about it more..) BUT THEY WERE SO NICE and Nicholas Vince who plays my husband (Chatterer) kept smiling at my stupid fangirl remarks. It made my heart happy. Barbie Wilde who plays the gorgeous Female Cenobite was there too, Simon Bamford who plays Butterball, and Doug Bradley- the legendary Pinhead.

This was also where I learned about the Frida Theater in Santa Ana that hosts events where they play oldschool sci-fi and horror movies and set up cool events and stuff. I had no clue. They're now on my radar to check out in the future. Maybe be an excuse to bust out my Leechwoman and Julia Cotton cosplays again :D

I've been really bad though and haven't been reading. Like at all. Well... not books. So yesterday I picked this guy out from my shelf to re-read without distraction. The human condition right now is being tested without mercy. I felt this a welcoming escape.

And finally, it's shameful to admit, but I've never read this precious manuscript. The book that was, before the movies were ever a concept. It came in today, and I'm gonna eat it. Someone recommended this to me years ago.. someone from work. And idk why I didn't just get it. But here we are.

I'm in a queue for turnips that are selling for 609. It was 150 people long. I got in at 1:50pm. I am now #39 and it is 5:32pm. 

ahh. lol.

ROUND 2: FIGHT

  HAWRIGHT

Things got a little bad last night lol. Rewind:

I had a gradual cough since the 29th, Sunday. It got worse and came to a head the 31st. Yesterday, April Fools day, around evening, I started to get woozy and my headache escalated. I could feel myself flushing more and more. This is something I remember from last year. Where's that thermometer? She's coming! This fever binch is kicking my door down right now I can literally feel it. So I get the thermometer:

OH HAY QORL. ALRIGHT LETS GO.

I felt her parking in my driveway earlier in the day because my headache was there, but not as pressure-feeling as it was at the point of this picture. But took my temp anyway. It was 98.something I can't remember. Fluids all day. Animal Crossing. I even ordered pizza. I felt bad though cuz the guy was like can you sign? and I was like... lemme extra sanitize my hands cuz i'm sick :( and he's like OH THAT'S AWRIGHT. and I was like AWRIGHT. and we said our good nights. Sweet guy.

HEY PEEPS. Tipping delivery workers is common sense, but I'm hearing about people refusing to because some are zero contact? Or tipping really shitty. Jesus if I know someone who is guilty of that I hope I never find out because you're a piece of shit. 

ANyyyywaaayyy

As the evening progressed, the pressure in my head got ril bad. I got more woozy, and the feeling of flushing was now all over my body instead of just my cheeks and neck. This was around midnight-ish. I promptly put on Mom's got a Date with a Vampire on Disney + (because I'm a child, leave me alone) and got into bed with all my essentials. Earlier on, I prepared more tea, got more water, and while searching in the pantry, found ANOTHER pres drug that I didn't finish. Doxycycline Monohydrate. Used to treat infection. I don't know if this was from last year or if it was from my graft surgery.. either way, I grabbed it. 

So, one thing I will say, I never felt that this was COVID-19. Mostly because of the order of the symptoms, and... the symptoms.

Day 1 - annoying, random intermittent baby cough in the evening

Day 2 - slightly more consistent cough, low fever

Day 3 - constant dry cough, baby phlegm feeling in throat, fever

Day 4 - oh shit

Day 5 - ......

It made more sense to me if it were bronchitis. It's just coughing and phlegm and fever. But I can't rule anything out yet. We'll just have to see.

So, last night, I'm getting ready, and I'm feeling real bad. I get in bed and take my temp; 102.2. Makes sense. So I get animal crossing and try to do stuff on there. But a little before that, like an hour or something, I took a tablet of the doxycycline monohydrate. And right before getting into my nest for the night, I took half of an 800 ibuprofen. I also took the last of the codeine, which was barely anything but it was worth a shot. It's a cough suppressor. This wasn't all at once btw lol. And I'm in bed.

I start hallucinating while playing animal crossing lol. Like, I'm seeing things on the island that aren't there; shadows, shapes. And turn the brightness down because it was like.... staring into the sun. And I'm dizzy. And the pressure in my head is peak. I got yeeted by Fever-chan. I try to stay awake, but I'm sooooo drowsy. This is probably what it feels like if an actual Drowzee came at you full blast. 

yeugh

So, I'm like roflmao what is happeningggghhh. I'm thinking it's from the fever, but maybe also from the medicine. So I'm trying to not give into Fever-chan because I'm stupid, and basically go back and forth between Candy Crush and Animal Crossing that entire evening. One amazing thing throughout all of this lockdown thing though is.... my wish came true.

 UNLIMITED LIVES MWAHAHA. I've been "logging in" to this every day and I've accumulated like 30+ hours of unlimited lives. KING HAS HEARD MY PLEAS. I'm not even gonna pretend i don't love Candy Crush. It's so good lol. If this costs me some gAmER points, fuck it. I gotta tell my bf's family lol. So yeah, that. 

It wasn't until the pressure in my head and the screens became too much that I finally layed down and snuggled up to go to sleep. Instantly felt better lol. It was almost as though.... my body... was trying to tell me something. hm. 

lol

also this. Wasn't sure I wanted to do this but why not. It's gonna be a long year.

I slept through the night. And this morning woke up around 1pm :)
First thing I did was drink some water and take my temp;

HOORAY! That was weird, so I did it like 4 more times just to be sure. All 98 range. I feel a lot better. I'm drinking tea and lots of water. No more woozyness. The headache is still there but slight, and the cough came back. Lots of phlegm to cough up. But no more fever! SO.

I don't know if it's because of the medicine or what. But Fever-chan left. We're doing okay, I kicked that binch out sometime during the night. I don't know if Fever-chan will be back. It's impossible to say what will follow but it's I think safe to assume that she's gone. Hopefully? 

During all of this, I was keeping up with what steps to take in the event that I am infected with COVID-19. A lot of sources say to stay at home and monitor your symptoms for 7 days. If questions arise, the best thing to do is to call a care provider. If you don't have one, call an urgent care center. They will assess the situation and give guidance. If your chest hurts, and breathing (an autonomous bodily function) becomes arduous, act immediately. These are 2 emergency symptoms that require urgent attention. Otherwise, liquids and rest are imperative. And no hugging.

That's the summary of everything I've read up on. It's hard right now to not freak out at the slightest inkling of being sick, but for the sake of resources and the workers in the hospitals right now, it's important to utilize the knowledge we have and apply it to our situation before losing our shit and going to go see them. This is important because there are people who have it that are struggling to live, and we don't have practitioners to spare to tell us all that we're gonna be fine, just rest up. We have to take that initiative ourselves and have faith that we can get through it. Treat it like a bad flu. If it escalates, take action, but only if it escalates. Otherwise, remain calm and do not put your body under further stress. It won't help you get better. 

Validation note: that was obviously directed to those less vulnerable and without compromised immune systems.

So. So far, I feel better now. I think the worst of it is gone. I'm gonna keep drinking lots of liquids and whatnots. And pizza. and hacking up phlegm. I could taste it in my throat when I woke up this morning, it was... lame. Um, but the fight isn't over. My body is still healing, so it's important to chill and not stress it. 

I'm good though. I have candy crush and Animal Crossing. both good for bed-rest. 

With that... ADIEU, DEAR READER.

Be vigilant. Be knowledgeable. Be safe.

Round 1: FIGHT

  In the spirit of good health, I'm just

I'm wearing a mask in my own home :D 

Um, I'm sick. It's okay. An annoying but mild cough with scratchy throat started 2 days ago, and got aggressive and consistent all of yesterday. And here we are today! What's interesting though is... when checking my instagram around this time last year, there's a picture of me with a mask on the 14th of this month. It was the day I was sent home early, just in time before taking a massive blow from the flu. I remember what that fucker felt like when it was coming on. It went after my throat first. Which is what I'm feeling right now. 

What is bizarre though is that I haven't left my house almost this whole time. I went to pick up my take out last week. And been in here ever since. What could be the culprit however.... is lack of hydration. I like to think that I'm decent with it, but.. I sleep with a space heater. It's coded in my genome to sleep like a warm little chicken all cuddled up and toasty. The problem with that is; no humidifier. So I had been waking up with a sore, scratchy throat in the mornings from most likely, dehydration. 

After impulse buying a cute LED humidifier last night, I grabbed all my left over medicines (from last year's visit to the doctor) and have them all now at my arsenal. I don't like taking medicine, but if it is the flu, I'm not gonna go down without a fight lol. 

My breathing is fine. My body temp went up a liiiiiittle bit since yesterday. But no fever. I'm monitoring everything just fine. But man! The timing is impressive lol. Almost 15 days apart from last year. 

If it is COVID-19, I know what steps to take. But for the moment, I'm monitoring how my body reacts to this bug. 

PICTURES :D

I'M SO PROUD OF THIS.

Amid my annoying coughing yesterday, it only took me the whole day to make my Hellraiser Kotobukiya figure's outfit in Animal Crossing. IT'S SO CUTE. And she's so cute. And everything is cute. And I'm so proud of this because the custom design thing is hard for me lol. I still have a ton of improving to do, but this came out better than I expected.

 The biggest challenge with these is like... knowing how to even start. Or where to start. Her dress is so crazy detailed. But I did my best lol. 

Ultimately though, I had to change the skin color on the dress because my character unfortunately isn't that lovely shade of ghastly periwinkle.

 And then the pins on the face were the last touch. I'm.... still not 100% happy with how those came out, I think I can soften it up more. But for now, it's fine. SO CYOO.

I tried watching an anime, but got distracted. So I've been binge watching the Brady Bunch (in the background) while playing either Animal Crossing or Dark Souls 3. And when I can pull myself away long enough, manga keeps me company.

 

Ah yes, anime tiddies. Ironically, I read that manga (Monster Musume) and the anime is bleh compared to the manga. But.. that's pretty much like, with everything book related. I'm still butthurt over how Netflix did Ghost Bride dirty. The book was beautiful, spooky, and had really awesome characters with fascinating arcs rich with Eastern culture regarding the dead, and Netflix just.... shat on it. I'm never getting over it. 

The cast is good though.

ANYWAY, THIS IS MY ARTILLERY.

I am going to drink everything ever, even if it means I have to pee every 5 minutes. Those... that's ibuprofin, amoxicillin, and codeine. None of which I like to fuck with, unless shit gets real. Shit hasn't gotten real YET, but I'm prepared. We got water, tea, spicy seafood neoguri noodles.... the essentials to fight this bitch. Guys the flu sucks lol. If it does hit me again like it did last year, I'm gonna be so sad lol. It hung out for 2 weeks. The good news though, if it is that... I can order delivery! I've been controlling myself and only eating what I have here. But... we're gonna go with last years tradition of eating delivery and staying in my room. Which isn't' that different from this year. Except... for.. delivery..................... 

YEAH. So that's where we're at.

I'm gonna try to document it if it escalates. My confidence in this is pretty sturdy, I think I got a good handle on it, and I'm not panicking or anything. Even if I was, it would accomplish nothing except put my body under further stress. So, I'm fine. Gonna take it ...easy......  whatever that means... considering... yeah. I'M CHANGING NOTHING, BASICALLY, AND WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES.

Note: don't forget that allergies and the flu are still chillin around this time of year. If you feel like you're getting a bug, the last thing that your body needs is to stress from panic. Assess your symptoms, hydrate, and listen to your body. Right now, mine is telling me that my throat is pissed, and my body might get warmer to fight whatever bug is chillin in there. So I'm gonna handle that. 

I hope everyone's doing alright and remains safe. It's a dumb time in our existence on this planet, but we just gotta work as a unit to overcome it. Or don't. If not, most kindly and severely go fuck yourself.

I say that for my cousin, who is a nurse. And my aunt, who lives in Italy. :)

STAY SAFE PEEPS