Pumpky

     October has come and gone too quickly. It feels like October 2nd was yesterday. Sheesh.

So lets go back up a bit. Recap. FUN MEMORIES.

From what I've retained, my October was so damn pleasant. Aside from the exams and tons of homework, it was lovely. I took it upon myself this year to decorate a little more. But the first stop as soon as October hit was Trader Joe's.

All I remember from seasonal Trader Joe's stuff is that they have yummy pumpkin beer lol. But damn, they really go hard on the seasonal stuff. I ended up grabbing this and a ton of other pumpkin stuff. Cream liquor, ravioli, pancake mix, beer, idk what else. It was magical though. In fact, I went today to grab pumpkin brioche bread. Amazing. Frankly though, everyday is Halloween.

So, I don't like to go out to shop for anything, except groceries. I basically missed out on all of the halloween stuff that started coming out since... July??? apparently?? Madness.
But, since it was October, I had to get my ass out and start grabbing the cute stuff. Chicken was supportive and accompanied me on a few of these runs.

Target had these adorable pumpkin candles in all sorts of scents.

And there were many trips to multiple 99 cent store locations, as some of them had varying stock of Halloween stuff. One of which was this cyoo vintage ghost

IMPORTANT HALLOWEEN SOCKS

There was one morning where I woke up at 7am to go on a mission. I gave myself a few hours in the morning to go to every store I could that may have Halloween stock.

I was hoping to find some Spooky Town stuff, but Michael's was pretty bare bones.
But to my delight, I was done by noon, and came home w/ a pretty good haul.

Like, 90% of this stuff was on sale or clearance.

Pictured: Trader Joe's, Home Goods, 99 Cent store, Joann's, Target

Fall candles. Ahhhhh so good.

Joann's, Home Goods and 99 Cent store

This buddy is one of my favorite finds. Michael's. Creepy little bastard. I love him. Little vampire dude was from the 99, and the skelly on the hammock was a gift a few Halloweens ago ^_^

There was so much cool ribbon, but I didn't know what to do w/ them. But I wanted them. So I learned how to make craft bows. They're so cyooooo! I made curtain holder thingies w/ bows. And these... I'm not sure what I'm gonna do w/ them. But... lol I can make craft bows now yaaaay hahaha

SO.
There's so much cool Halloween Disney/Mickey Mouse stuff, but there's NO HALLOWEEN OSWALD STUFF. So in my irritation, I whine and nagged a clay Oswald pumpkin into existence.

He's currently painted, but I'm not sure if I wanna keep him greyscale or not. It looks... not great in greyscale. So I may just paint him a burnt orange, maybe keep the colors dull? I got disheartened when I painted him and it didn't come out how I envisioned it. It's a work in progress.

I was committed. I even bought an orange dress. It looks pink here but, it's orange. AND PUMPKIN SOCKS.
And for the longest time I'd been wanting to take Mr. Chicken out somewhere, cuz we don't leave the house ever. But it was the perfect place.

Illiad Bookstore!

It's quiet, unlikely to be crowded, no one will talk to us really, and we can enjoy the place at our pace and leisure. It's perfect.

When we got there, I saw Apollo on the ladder and had to introduce myself.

 
He said hello back and was a parrot. I called Mr. Chicken over, at which point Apollo stepped from my shoulder to Mr. Chicken's shoulder and made himself comfy there.

It was the best greeting from a bookstore that either of us have ever gotten. 10/10 would visit again.

I actually used to live down the street from Illiad several years ago. And then I moved :D

The Illiad is actually where I found almost all of my Hellraiser graphic novels. They're hard to come by, so when I found them there, I snatched em quick. That was a billion years ago.
This last time when we went, their section there was lacking - understandably as they're not accepting any books currently - but the one graphic novel I did find was one I already have. Still nice to see though ^_^

This place is so great. Hands down my most preferred book store to shop at. No shade. Just sayin. Cats and wholesomeness is more appealing than overpriced and gimmicky. Y'know?

Mr. Chicken found these two nerdo books he took w/ him. What a nerdo.

For lunch, we returned to our spot :)

GREAT NEWS

NO MORE BACK RIBS.HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAA

If you know, you know. If not... we've come here enough times throughout the last 4 years that we've lived through 3 eras of Sun Nong Dan. The first era was the short rib era. Everything was perfect. The Golden Age, if you will. The prices were reasonable. The ribs were short ribs. Just short ribs.
Then there was the Rib Depression era. This.. vicissitude of the worst dimension to be in Second Age of Nong introduced GIANT FUCKING BACK RIB PIECES FOR WHATEVER REASON into their galbi jjim. It offended the ease and carefree nature of picking at the melting mound of gooey goodness and RUINED IT BY ADDING BRICKS OF BONE. And their prices went up. Who asked for back rib? Who? Neanderthals. (unless you got a medium, at which point you'd get more pieces of short rib, but like... why settle?)

The third era, this current Pandemic Age of Sun Nong Dan, changed their menu and no longer have back rib listed. Not only that, but their prices went up again. Was it true? Were the back rib pieces gone?
Confirmed.

Not a single thing of back rib to be seen. GOOD. We are in the Third Age of Sun Nong Dan. All is well again. Except for the price going up, but it's fine. We're happy. We deliberately didn't finish it so we could take it home and have leftovers for a few days. Good shit.

BOO-STER SHOT acquired!

Another good thing in October! The cherry on top was that I got a $5 coupon and ended up buying some more Halloween decor that was already 50% off.

Next, there was another night market that Homdray wanted to go to. The smol one in OC. I was hesitant, but decided to go last minute. Mr. Chicken opted out. So it was just us two goblins getting blasted by photons

To my pleasant surprise, he wore his Pure Pwnage shirt, that he cricut'd himself lmao. I wouldn't have guessed it, it came out great! We'd been talking about getting these shirts forever, but they've been out of stock and I don't think their store is even... active anymore? I wouldn't trust it. It's been too long. But this came out really well

lolchickenlol
nnnnn-ooooooooooooooooooooob
One of these days just for shits we should (the 4 of us) lan c&c zero hour and just go. just go. drunk. i'll order like a 24 pack of bawls and Lifa can mix drinks and it'll be just like high school but worse/better.

This is a great idea. I'm a genius.

There really wasn't much stuff that appealed to us there. This ube roll place looked pretty cool.

But I'd severely underestimated my... sweet tooth? tolerance..?
The thing was basically a huge cinnamon roll, but ube version, and the icing was extremely rich and sweet (cream cheese icing w/ food coloring) and... we picked at it, but couldn't finish it. Looked cool though.

We watched a bunch of people get scammed trying to throw rings on the coke bottles.
The rings don't weigh enough to land. They're so light that they bounce off on impact.

There was one dude who did what we were thinking. He bought all the baskets, and just launched all the rings from the basket at once over the bottles. None of them landed. He did that w/ all of the baskets. Nothing. They just all bounced off. It was crazy. Shit is a scam. We went back later in the evening. All the stuffed animals were still there. No one, not one person all day, got one.
Then there was one dude that we saw throw all of his rings at once, and out of all of them, got one. But damn.
If you see this at a night market, it's straight up a scam LOL. You won't win shit.

There was this booth w/ cool drinks. Tasted like sugar water tho. No flavor. Just sweetness. Meh.

I did leave w/ some stuff I bought from vendors though.

Hu Tao for my car, and a bunch of cyoo stickers! And the cyooest shadowbox baby :3
Very happy w/ these finds ^_^

Aaaannnd Mr. Chicken surprised me w/ cyoo spooky matching t-shirts from Flyin Miata!!
A widdle vampire miata w/ bats and a full moon awwww so cyooooo
And stickers :3

He's such a car dork, but I love how we meet in the middle like this. I had gotten him a shirt w/ a hot rod on it being worked on by ghosts, but the art was like, old-timey cartoons and stuff.

Every now and then when our interests blend together into a weird other thing, it's just so damn wholesome lol. I like that we're different. It's fun. I guess... technically... gear heads + goths = those rockabilly type folk?

But Mr. Chicken is kinda too much of a geek and weeby.
Is that a debit or a credit to the rockabilly account? (LOL my accounting class is driving me batshit crazy)
Neither one of us wants to be anything like... those greaser folks though lol.

I will however...

take some Traci Lords empowerment and inspiration, and forever live out my as life as best I can to honor that Beat it, creep energy.

So, on that gear head note, Mr. Chicken recently got some extra stuff for his Miata.

Also from Flyin' Miata.
They look SOOOOO good. I can't wait till we go to another meet.

But in the meantime, Mr. Chicken had been spoiling me w/ little adventures sprinkled throughout October. It was such a delight, which made the month that much more special.


FUNNY STORY.
PUMPKINS.

So, I had been wanting to go to a pumpkin patch to get pumpkins like we did before covid. Since we lived in Irvine, he had taken us and completely surprised me w/ a trip to Tanaka Farms. An actual like, farm. W/ a corn maze and pumpkin patch and sunflower and ... the whole thing.
So, I'm stupid. And I thought that's what pumpkin patches were. Just, generally. So when he took us to one nearish here, I was surprised to find us pulling into a parking lot of some shopping center area w/ a huge tent, a crowd, some cash registers and a bunch of haystacks surrounded by already picked pumpkins. I was so confused, but went along w/ it.

He explained to me that my first time at a pumpkin patch was special because generally, "pumpkin patches" are exactly like... that. Pop up tents in a parking lot with mini games, creepy kiddie rides, and a bump of already picked pumpkins to choose from. I was like ooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh, okay. He was like yeah rofl they can't all be actual farms w/ a scare crow and I was like daaaaaaaang okay I guess that makes sense LOL. SO THAT WAS AN EXPERIENCE. It's cool though, we ended up going home w/ some cyoo pumpky pumpks.

And then he took us to din din ^_^

It's not often we dine in for food. People + noise + lights = not appealing. But ramen sounded good. So ramen it was.
I gotta say, Kopan has stepped up their game over the years. Like... holy shit.

Years ago when I'd go there in Fullerton, their menu was strictly ramen and sides, w/ like not much room for customization. But they didn't need it, it was really good.
Now they have a whole... everything. Like...   E V E R Y T H I N G.

I like water, shush.
So w/ some encouragement, Mr. Chicken ordered the Ex-Girlfriend roll. I wanted to try it LOL. It's actually really really good haaha. Too easy to make jokes about eating the ex-girlfriend the whole time. And I got my chonky chonk soup. I'm still thinking about that ex-girlfriend roll though. Delicious. 10/10 would recommend lol

Our 2 babieeezz

October had me feeling my cyootest
It's November, so I'm back to being feral but there's always next year

One of my October buys was this book. I was really stoked for it

But it's such a hard read. I don't mean that I can't take it in, I can but the way it's worded is exhausting. I fell asleep towards the end of the first chapter. It's a struggle lol. Haven't picked it up since. I'll get back to it but damn, just thinking about it makes me tired LOL. That's the worst. The author tries to flourish details w/ too many descriptors for the simplest things and it's kinda overkill. Like, it's so elaborate that it gets boring and you're like omg get to the end of the sentence already.
That's not fair though, I have to give it a fair chance and I should finish it before talking shit. Cover is cool, though.


AND THEN. 

AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN
The power on our block went out one night!
It's was perfeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeect!
Everyone got out candles and lanterns and all the neighbors went outside to check on each other and .. it was so cool.

We played Villainous to pass the time.

ANNNNND AND AND AND
MY LONG AWAITED TOKYO JESUS PIECE CAME IN

Ahhhhh I was so excited. This was my birthday gift to myself. No regrets. She's soooo beautiful.
And he threw in another print. He does that w/ every order and and and it's soooooo bad ass.

Immediately, I had to go outside and take photos in front of the resident evil sheds we have out back. It was only appropriate. There was no other choice.

Ahhhhh sooo cooooool. I brought out my other little TJ piece to put right next to her THEY'RE BOTH SO CYOO UGH

I wish I was better w/ an actual camera. Mr. Chicken let me borrow his chonky fancy one but I've no clue how to work it, so ended up using my phone. Whatever. Am happi.

And our friend who was traveling abroad came back. We got to see him and catch up.

Life kinda got crazy. We all no longer live together, so this was really nice.

All-you-can-eat KBBQ bringing friends together

I miss our drunkard shenanigans.

SOON.


Mama Chicken's birthday was also in October! We were telling her about how good Kopan was and how much their menu expanded, so later on we ended up going there for her bday dinner.
EX-GIRLFRIEND ROLL WAS ORDERED

I love her. I love the ex-girlfriend roll.
I hope she continues to be delicious and upstages all the other rolls LOL

I shit you not. If you go to Kopan, try it. It's legitimately good. And massive.

We left w/ full, happy tummies ^_^

LOOK AT MY CYOO GHOSTIES AND TOON PUMPKIN

Ugh. I should leave them out all year. But according to what I'm picking up in accounting, depreciation sets in and it gets worse every year. W/ like, value and stuff. And if I apply that to how my brain works, would that mean that how I value them also has depreciation? :( Like... I get so used to them being out all year that by the time next Halloween comes around, it's just another thing?

ew Cynth, stfu. It doesn't matter.

MOVING ALONG.
Selfie dump. Because like I said, I felt the most powerful in October.

I didn't edit these two BEHOLD
MY ROSACEA AND ANGRY FACEY SKIN

I can't wear foundation anymore until my face calms down. The woes of dumb skin problems. The mask doesn't help, but I like wearing the mask. So I guess I'll just have outbreaks forever :D OH WELL

It's been so bad lately lol. I've never had outbreaks this bad. Not really sure what's causing it. I think, honestly, it could just be how often I wear a mask. Cuz I wear one fucking everywhere. Forever. And while I've always had rosacea, it was fine. But lately it's been like... WOOSH. ANGRY. Oddly enough, it doesn't bother me. Kinda cool. I'll look at my outbreaks in the bathroom mirror and be like damn skin, what's going on in there? And skin is like, why you wearing shit that irritates me? And I'm like, sorry skin, people are gross. And skin is like, ya. And that's it.


HALLOWEEN IN LITTLE TOKYO

Sooooo, I had no clue but Little Tokyo does a thing every year for Halloween. And I wanted to go! Mr. Chicken said hard pass lol, so I went with my coworker, B! Who funny enough has some similar traits to Mr. Chicken. Except she's a Capricorn.

Her outfit was so awesome omg. Annnd
She lives at the mortuary, and I worked earlier that day so she said I could crash w/ her when we got back, and the next morning I could just go straight to work lol. It worked out perfectly :D

We got there kinda early and wandered around.

This is the look she gives me every day when something happens or comes up :D

She went straight to that section.
GOOD FOR YOU, B lolol

We grabbed din din at Mr. Ramen before heading to the block party thingie

I hadn't been to Mr. Ramen since... many many many years ago. This was the first ramen place I went to on my first trip to Little Tokyo w/ a coworker back in like, 2011. That shop is so cyoo.

She got so many compliments on her outfit ^_^

Mirror selfie. Important.
My costume was a dumb oversized t-shirt that said pretend i'm a bat.

As we got to the line to get in, there was a booth for costume contest sign-ups. After some slight encouragement and many compliments, B decided last minute to sign up. I was so proud of her! In doing so, she got this free drink token, which she gave to me.

There was a looong ass line.

Behind us :D

It was a rooftop event. Really cool. The stairway to go up was decorated in tons of cool lights and spiderwebs. When we got to the roof, there was a DJ spinning, photo op stuff, lotta booths w/ a bar and food and everything just looked really cool

I was like OMG B, GO OVER THERE AND LEMME TAKE YOUR PICTURE and she was like alright. What. What do I do?

I feel this. I don't know how to pose. I could fix that, but practicing poses in the mirror makes me feel really silly, so I rather be behind the camera.
I started directing her, and the event photog guy came up behind me and was watching me before he started taking photos too

And then someone was like you too! And I was like
:| okehhhh
idk what to doo but okeh :|||

Result:

B looks cyoo. I look awkward :D

As the night went on, more and more people showed up in costume. I loooooove seeing everything people show up as ^_^

Booooooze!
I don't even drink often, I just like the yummy flavors, colors and and and
a warm tummy :3

B was the second person to go up for the contest. She went up there and started posing and stuff and I was like aw hell yeeeehhhh! She was so unsure of everything earlier on, but when she came down I was so so proud of her! GO B! I told my lead at work the next morning and she was like OMG THAT'S AWESOME and it just. Good. All around. Yay. :D

At one point, I saw someone show up in an elaborate maid costume w/ huge anime hair and out of the corner of my eye, I thought it was someone I knew. I could've sworn it was, but could barely make out her face. If it was who I thought it was, I definitely wanted to say hi.

It wasn't LOL. But they looked awesome.

The bars were decorated all cyoo and stuff :3

There were two categories for the contest. Solo and Group. The solo finalists were so good!

Victorian Pumpkin and of course, Professor Oak. Everyone loved him.

My favorite group finalists were..

HE HAD GLITTER FIRE ON HIS BEAR SUIT
Precious lol.
Midsommar was bizarre and shockfactor-y if you're into that.

The winner for the solo was Victorian Pumpky
I love her

"B, you fucking Capricorn, are you having so much fun????"

B:

jk, it was a good time.
As it got more crowded, we noped out. Goodnight Kylo.

We left around 10 something and wandered around. Something we def wanted before leaving was taiyaki. We each got 5. I saved one for breakfast. Best decision ever.

Awwww so much fun!
She really enjoyed it. Made me happy.

When we got home, I liked my costume

Selfie.
October is clearly my selfie season

The next morning was a breeze. I got up, got ready, walked like 40 feet and clocked in. Best start of the work day ever.

After work, on actual Halloween day, Mr. Chicken and I met the bromies in Anaheim for a thingie.

AHHH, ANOTHER

Binch call Mickey the OG one more time

This costume is a actually a foreshadow.
Soon.

But.
It was Halloween. I should at least try to dress up.
Voila :D

B went too! And she found us!
I got to introduce her to the bros.
She's a real life Hu Tao. And we all got it. And it was good.

Cursed.

^_^
Mr. Chicken's spoopy shirt uwu

I don't very much care for jeans, but black jeans look good on men. I never noticed it until he put them on. I was like, HUH.

"This wood is UNFINISHED." - Homdray, ISTJ

They all automatically walked into the jerky store.
B had already beaten them to it and earlier on bought like $50 worth of jerky.

This photo took great effort to acquire. And I hate it so much, but it's something.

I saw this adorable little Mickey Mouse running around w/ his mom as Minnie. And I was like OMFG I HAVE TO GET A PICTURE W/ HIM. But they were making their way into one of the shops! And there were so many people walking by and weaving through them was just... a nauseating idea. But I was gonna lose them, and then I'd never get my picture with my Mickey!!
So I mustered up the courage and chased after them into the shop and asked the mom if I could get a picture w/ her Mickey and she was like OMFG and I was like I KNOW RIGHT and she was like YA. And so the photo above is the result.

That thing I said earlier about not knowing how to pose? Yeah. I didn't know wtf to do so I just did the first thing I remember seeing Oswald doing and that's... .that. It looks bad. I hate it. But he's adorable. And, I did it. I got it. PHEW.

We got dinner. Good times

In like, the 5ish years I lived in Anaheim, I never knew Anaheim Garden Walk was a thing. That's... how much I cared about the outside world around me. Or going out.

But this was cool lol. Was like... Universal City Walk, but in Anaheim. Outdoor shops, dining, entertainment stuff. Outdoor mall type place. Neato. Had a good time.

There were areas that had artisan vendors selling stuff. As we were heading out we checked in on one last place. I ran into the cutest couple there

And ended up buying two headbands. They're so cyoo. I'll show em off later.

Lookit dis baby oonicorn and its papa oonicorn

(baby oonicorn started leaking gas so mom had to hilariously attend to baby's costume. I felt bad for laughing but it looked so funny)

LAST EVE OF OCTOBER

Saw a coffin and jumped in it.

Ahhh. October was good to us.

The end of the year is going to be full of surprises. A lot is happening. All I can do is remain positive and keep going.

Accounting sucks. I did learn recently though that in nuclear chemistry, "meta" means unstable. Kinda funny when applied to social media rebranding.

This is where I leave off. This post is long enough. I miss October. It's not over yet, though. November is a transition period. It's still Autumn, damnit.
There's still stuff I wanna doooooo. I wanna finish my Oswald pumpkin. I wanna start a pumpkin patch in our garden. I wanna make a scarecrow. Mr. Chicken said he'd help me. I wanna start writing my dumb story. I wanna finish the boring book.
Classes end in the 2nd week of December. Ugh I can't wait. A break will be nice. I like school but damn. It gets in the way lol. I miss cosplaying. But idk if I wanna get back to attending cons full force just yet. Small stuff for a few hours seems okay. Or at least like, in an outdoor setting.

Alright. I'm gonna go update Animal Crossing. Happy belated Halloween! And since holidays are coming up, can add me on Steam so I can peep yer wishlists o_o
take a huge guess what my steam user name is. just GUESS.

kbye :3

Psywave [PSYCHIC]

  K Lets do some soul purging. Courtesy of Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off" song. And Halloween electro swing.

BUT FIRST. I need to preface this with; this part's is gonna deal with death related stuff. Specifically, like, emotions around it, how I'm learning to navigate my own feelings in lieu of the exposure I have to it, and what that may manifest into. For meeeeee.
So if talking about or acknowledging death is an uncomfortable thing, maybe sit this one out? Or don't, idgf.

HOKIE DOKIE

One of the things mentioned to me around my first starting at the mortuary, just super casually in random conversation, was that there will be days when I'll get home and will just have the urge to cry. I couldn't fathom this. But noted her words.

Um, so. I've noted. There will be some days where... the energy during xy or z, will hang in the air, and everyone feels it. I call these my psychic/ghost Pokemon attack days. And let me tell you, there are some messed up lore and backstories to some ghost pokemon. They're crazy. Anywho

Uh.. yeah, a few days ago, idk what kind of pokemon that was but..  like.
Maybe comparable to a Misdreavus... they impose a sense of unease and siphon fear. "It attacks by letting loose psychic orbs and ones imbued with loathsome emotions."
... it was like... this anguish.... that was felt that morning.. was this dense invisible fog that traveled, and everyone was breathing it. It was so heavy. It pervaded the air.

You could feel it in your gut. That was the first debuff.

Did I just compare that to a psychic ghost type pokemon attack? Yes. Because I don't know what else to compare it to.

The next one happened mid day. Anguish took its toll and manifested physically, with a minor domino in its wake. We did what we do to honor our commitment to our family, though undoubtedly, the ordeal left the air around us tainted. Going into stoic protection mode temporarily gave me tunnel vision for just them. Without realizing, that was debuff 2 stagnating, and stacking subconsciously on the first debuff from earlier that morning.

3rd one, unexpected, had to be addressed during my service where, without realizing, anguish crept into my soul as I allowed myself vulnerability to be with someone, and what they needed, so very very much in that moment. I watched as one of my counselors assisted me, but finishing up, I felt for them so very deeply and wanted to hold them up with everything I could give. They needed it. And one day I would also be in their shoes. debuff 3.

To finish the day, I visited with someone who, under pretenses, realistically didn't need me there, but I wanted to tell this person who could no longer hear it, that everything was okay now. I caressed their hair for a few moments, hoping that if they were to be nearby, it would be some comfort, albeit small. I silently prayed for them, I don't know to what. Then I walked out of this, our most sacred room, my soul feeling heavy, and incredibly charged. debuff 4

I got in my car, spoke with my mom on the way home, and when I got home and parked, a sort of anguish began to well up.
There was no sadness. I wasn't distraught, or upset. My only remorse was that death can be crueler to some more than others. But that had nothing to do with my emotional state.
Mr. Chicken walked outside toward my car to check on me. I opened the car door, and began to have a small thing of being disgusted with how much I took in, realizing what was coming and trying to calm my breathing. I told him basically that I needed to cry. He acted like everything was cool, which I appreciated very much. We walked in the house, and when I got to our bedroom, the ugly crying exploded out. All of the misery, the grief, anguish I had mismanaged that day transferred to me, and it had to come out. Immediately.


It's not something I can describe. There's nothing like it. You're not sad, it has nothing to do with you. It's like... you just.. it's like empathy on crack. You feel and take in so much that it's like a fucking ghost pokemon attacked you and you just feel this... heavy... gut wrenching, emotional agony. And it weighs you down. I was holding my head, wanting to like... emotionally fart everything out of me.


I started hopping up and down singing shake it off by taylor swift, shaking my arms and wrists as I cried. Like trying to shake insects off of me that wouldn't leg go.
Mr. Chicken was near me throughout, speaking to me, being present. His presence was comforting. He knew there wasn't much he could say, because the source wasn't mine. So he remained patient. Idk if he realized that him being there emanated a warmth that felt like my soul or whatever was desperately feeding off of, but yeah. Then I'd calm down a bit. And then a debuff would tick, and I'd curl up and wail again. It went on for like 20 mins? Half an hour? On and off.
The whole time, my brain is on overload trying to analyze everything that's happening, being hyper-self aware. But little by little, it felt like more and more would release, and leave me.


WORTH IT.

In all the time I've been there, I've never felt it so hard like that. And the thing that needs to be understood is .... people who commit to this field are people who put themselves in roles to be pillars of support, for many different reasons, but also because they can manage the emotions that come with doing so. However, I also have the capacity to empathize HARD. That's normally something that's a good thing, but if left unchecked can leave you open to ghost pokemon attack fatigue.

Man.... If I didn't believe in energies before then, that day would've changed my mind.
Not saying ghosts or spiritual shit. But like... I don't even know. Just. Vibes lol. WAVES. I don't know! That thing you feel when someone is staring at you. Or when someone's standing behind you. You feel it. A thing. A heaviness. That. That is 100% real.

It just. Phew. Yeah. But it made me think back on the day of that conversation me and someone else had. There will be days when you go home, and you will cry. And yeah. That was my first.

Finally, as Mr. Chicken held me while I cried into his shirt, he goes "oh by the way, you have a package that came in." That kinda woke me up a little bit, and I turned around to see a chonky package by my desk. Confused, I go to examine it, wondering what it was. There wasn't anything I had ordered recently that would come in such chonky packaging...
I look at the sender.
It's from Suzy. aka Mort3mer. I go, OH! It's my shirt!
Still confused because my order was smol. Did it come in a cardboard thingie? I start to cut open the package, peek inside

... and collapse to the ground and cry again LOL. I don't even look at what's inside, I just see parts of things that are more than juut my shirt, and I just. POLARITY, FOLKS.
Went from one extreme to the other and oh my god. I screamed.

Turns out, Suzy sent me a butt load of stuff from her business Psychic Circle Oddities. Frogk me all the way. AND with the sweetest little note

SO CYOO. THANK YOU SUZY.
UHHH, YEAH. THERE'S ONE ADVENTURE :D

That, in all honesty, brought me back and helped very much that evening. It was like balance was restoring lol. I like balance. Balance is dope.

SO YEAH. THAT'S THE OPENER. HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?

Honestly, it's all worth it. I love what I do. The end :D

We had beer afterwards.
It was my excuse to try the new pumpkin ale I got from Trader Joe's.
Tre fucking good

 LOOK.

I went back and got the pillow!!!!!!!!

I had to. Last year, I remember seeing really cute Peanuts stuff but for whatever reason, I didn't buy it. This year though... this year, I remembered last year, and how I regretted not grabbing stuff when I saw it. I did that again this year lol, but went back! Now, NO REGARTS
Look at it, it's so cyoo omg.

I should make a spooky Snoopy for my desk...

Speaking of making stuff for my desk, I got bit in the ass to make clay stuff again. It comes and goes. This time, I had no idea what I wanted to create. Only that watching Over the Garden Wall inspired me with their color palette and pumpkins and spooky stuff. So I knew I wanted something with a pumpkin. But also some sort of clown or jester or mime. With a ruffled collar. But also a ghost.

So this guy started coming together.
I didn't know if I wanted a ghost emerging out of a jack-o-lantern, or a ghost wearing a pumpkin head? But the only way the ruffles would work is if they were beneath the pumpkin head. So went with that. No clue what I wanted to ghost to look like or do, so went with old reliable western ghost shape and just... kept going.

After I baked it, color and detail were the most challenging. Because.. I can't visualize or fathom what I want lol.

End result:

He's pretty cute. I messed up a lot, but for the most part, he's cool. I wanna make more, but gotta organize what I want. I know I want more circus-y, jester-y type buddies. I have an idea, but in execution, idk how well it'll work. Idk. We'll see.

I put him next to one of my pieces I'm most proud of.

Also... I revisited another 99 cent store and they did not let me down.

Baby unicorn skeletons lmao.
If I liked unicorns more, and like, was motivated enough to paint and detail, that anatomy sculpture would actually hold up really well. It has a lot of potential. So. Anyone who likes unicorns, but like... skeletal ones... 99 cent store is for you.
They also had these gnomes I hadn't seen before. Ceramic! They're so funny lol. I'm kinda sad I didn't grab some for our garden. I might go back :P

I gotta stop doing that and just get shit when I see it lol.


Here's a happier mortuary adventure! They're actually quite often. This one was special. We have a new trade embalmer working with us, and when she arrived for her first day, she graced us with these amazing donuts!

I'm not the biggest fan of donuts. They're too sweet for me, but I did have half of a blueberry one. It took me 8 years to eat it, but it was yummy. Blueberry donuts are always my go-to. So, because she was so sweet, we all gathered to go give her an even bigger hello, with a proper screeching of gratitude and affections to welcome her to the family.

She wasn't expecting it. Which means we won :D

And lastly, Mr. Chicken and I celebrated our 4th year as a pair of gremlins, on the 26th.

There aren't really sufficient words to express our journey or growth together, how we orbit one another, or the paths we choose to take together. But damn, it's been the smoothest ride ever. I like to attribute a lot of that to where we are in our lives emotionally. We've both grown from our experiences, which have instilled confidence in ourselves to be able to radiate that outwards and uplift one another. We also fit each other. Private, introverted, confident nerds that wanna stay in our lane and live quietly, humbly.

It's chill. I'm so grateful for him. He's my dude. And it's dope that 4 years ago, he wanted me to be his chick. And now we're here.

AT ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI :D

It was this, or Sun Nong Dan. We hadn't been here in a while, so.

mmmpf.
Nigiri forever

Don't get me wrong. I can appreciate rolls. But nigiri is where it's at.
I'll eat yellowtail and toro forever pls and thank you.

We exchanged anniversary gifts.
So dorky lol.

I got him a Mazda RX7 model kit to assemble. He ended up getting model paints so he can go nutso on the interior and the engine and stuff. I think he liked it!
And he got me LEDs for my car's foot wells ^_^

His are red. Mine are currently purple.

I looooooooooooove it. It took a lot on his part to get them installed, because it's been so hot outside and it's extremely uncomfortable to work in that heat. But he did it without complaining once, and made sure everything was set just right. He's so good to me. It looks really, really good!
And makes night time drives way comfier.

I saw today that Mihoyo is doing stuff other than bribing people to do free art for them under the guise of an anniversary event.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Still hoping for Qiqi. Sigh.

my smile is so derpy lol

It's okay though, because I have Hu Tao. And she's precious. I wanna work for Wangsheng Funeral Parlor lol. We'd be great friends. BUT SHE'S NOT REAL :(

I'M RAMBLING.

Anywho. I hope you, dear reader, are having a chill week. Isn't Fall so yummy?? Shall we get comfy and play something now? :3