Charmsies

  Last night I ended up at a bar again.
All of these adult things- woo! Sorry.. I'm an idiot.

It was a birthday celebration for a co-worker, but I like her because she's almost as cynical as me.
So I made her a little something and went to give it to her amongst the birthday time things. She really liked it :) Made going out worth it. Thankfully, another co-worker wanted to switch shifts with me earlier on that day. At first I was hesitant, but decided it'd be a better idea if I just end up going to work later since I'll probably be staying out late. Tomorrow though I work at 4:30 a.m... so that's gonna be weird.

I also made some charms last night!

I'm SO happy with how this Jigglypuff came out. It's a massive improvement over the first one I ever made.

Haha... omg. Progress! :D It makes me happy knowing that I've improved in this little craft. I really enjoy it, and I hope it shows as time goes on :P

My second little octopus rag doll. SHE'S SO CUTE >_< UGH. 

Squeeeee!

Yes, more BoI charms. Next I'm gonna try to make some of the bosses. They're way more detailed. I hope I do them justice. 

:DD eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee so excite!

And lastly... the Grey Rock Worm from Penumbra: Overture. I hate those things so much... it's the most horrifying thing ever when they start tunneling out towards you omg. They're MASSIVE. It makes me wanna make a little Philip chibi. While I was playing Penumbra: Black Plague I wanted to make a Tuurngait charm, but didn't know if it'd look right. WE SHALL SEE.

I'm thinking about going in to work early to eat. Hrrmmm.... 

Is it time for Disneyland yet!?

Lizard

  It doesn't feel like a new year. That's probably because it's just another day, and the only significance is the revered meaning to this day that humans as a race put on it because the Calendar was invented.

I'm probably the only one that sees it that way. But I guess it's a nice excuse to celebrate stuff. I just wish that people wouldn't pretend their trespasses have been wiped off their slate just because the moon came out another night. I suppose it's a nice thing that everyone is in high spirits :)

Speaking of high spirits, I decided that I wanted to try an experience with the effects of THC on my nervous system. Google it.
It only took a quarter of a century but hey... I'm fine with it.

I used to suck dick for coke- I SEEN HIM!
..You ever suck some dick for marijuana?- HUH?!

 
A lot of things make way more sense now. However it's not an experience I care to try again in the near future.

I had a bad experience with brain stimulation and ultra sensory modifiers when I was little- at the Dentist. I had to get my wisdom teeth pulled and I screamed bloody murder at the sight of the syringe. No.
Not ever.
I will scream until I die if it'll keep the syringe away from my gums.

It worked. They didn't use the syringe. Instead they used "laughing gas."
It made me feel extremely aware of things at first, then I felt giggly, and suddenly my head felt extremely heavy, like I couldn't move it. When I did move my head, the world spun around me, and all I could focus on was my brain trying to process everything at the same time. The heavy feeling went into my arms and then the rest of my body, I couldn't move. I felt like there was 200lbs of pressure pushing down on me until suddenly I was out cold.

As I got older more and more people around me talked about getting high and drunk. How it made them feel dizzy and relaxed and all these different things. You see... after the laughing gas experience.. I never cared to go through that again. Or anything like that. The funny thing about that memory for me was that the dentist was smiling as he told me they were going to use the laughing gas on me. I don't remember what he said exactly but he said it like... it would make me feel good. Like.. oooh it's the laaaughing gaaaas you're gonna love this!

Not at all. I hated it. It scared the crap out of me. So... while normal people's curiosity generally gets the best of them and they try everything under the sun, I just didn't care. I'm good.
Then when I was 23, I finally started drinking socially. Not a lot, but I wouldn't say no to drinks anymore. Now at 25, last night as Rot and Josh did their thing in the living room amidst idle conversation, I thought okay... I trust them. I used to smoke cigarettes so I can probably hit it just fine. Whatever.

So I told them, and they were very paternal. Josh more so than Rot; reassuring me that I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to, no pressure, etc etc. It became this whole thing of how it should be induced because Josh has... an apparatus with filters, and then there's the 'traditional' way. I think.
I opted for the filtered apparatus so I wouldn't taste the yucky yuck. Back in high school, I forget where.. some chick's house I think.. we smoked flavored tobacco (mango) from a hookah and I remember it tasting really... smooth. Best way I can describe it. If you've smoked cigarettes you know what I'm talking about. So that memory helped in this decision.

They set everything up and the whole time I kept thinking... this is like going into the doctor's office for a shot. They're back there prepping and soon they're gonna call me in. Because I've never done it before! So I was a little nervous. You could say I am extremely naive, but that laughing gas... I'll never forget it. I was mostly concerned that it would be a similar experience. I had a feeling it might be, but I'll never know until I try.

Rot asked me if I wanted him to light it or have me do it. I told him I'd feel more comfortable if he did it for me. He did, and I took a hit. They told me to hold it in, which was weird. I did.. for a while until I couldn't and my lungs started to burn. I coughed an exhale and just coughed and coughed nonstop for over a minute! What a shitty feeling! haha
Josh teased Rot for letting me inhale as much as I did for my first time. I inhaled everything. I thought I was supposed to? I dunno. Idk wtf I was doing.
My lungs burned for what seemed like forever and I coughed a LOT until the feeling subsided. They said I may not even feel it because a lot of people don't on their first try. Initially I didn't.
It hit after about 5 minutes.
Subtle at first... like the tipsy feeling where you're drunk. You swoosh your head and you're buzzed kinda. Then
My vision and awareness became extremely sensitive. When I would dart my eyes around the room it appeared as though I was looking as mere frames of what was in my room, and not a smooth view of everything.  It was like... walking around in an MMO when it's really laggy. Like you only see 10FPS instead of 60FPS, but at a faster rate because your eyes move quickly when you look around.
Now because my awareness had increased, any movement would double the amount of brain activity going on so I sat still, focused on my field of vision. But moving my head felt like a chore.
There were stages.

Suddenly I had the urge to laugh, lol. I felt giggly. And because of my keen awareness I thought about how amazing it must be to be an animal that's super sensitive to things, like a lizard or something. All of this going on in my head, coupled with my skewed vision, and busted equilibrium and giggle fit... I stated "I feel like a lizard"
I realized what I had just said and couldn't think of any sort of context that could ever be taken in and just lost it. I couldn't stop laughing at how stupid that was, and it suddenly dawned on me... that's stoner humor.

Then everything started feeling a little more intense. Josh was talking to me but it was difficult to concentrate on a single thing. I tried to listen to him, but my brain was distracted by simple things like blinking, and lifting my neck, and the lights in the room. And I was focused on the sensations going on in my body being a little too familiar for my comfort. Suddenly I felt in the lower back part of my brain a prickly, tingly sensation that started to feel like numbness, but at the same time felt heavy. I couldn't lift my head. I was reclined back against the sofa but when I attempted to lift myself, my neck gave and my head limply fell back again. Fucking laughing gas.

The sensation in my brain started to feel like pressure, and it traveled down my spine where the tingling pressure was concentrated, then leaked into my limbs making them feel useless and out of my control. Suddenly I felt heavy, and couldn't move. Suffice to say my suspicious were realized, and it basically feels like laughing gas. Except with laughing gas I didn't feel the burning/tingling pressure. THC activates something completely different and all these little things in your body start pulsating and tingling and for me... it was rather overwhelming.
I admit that the champagne and the drink Rot gave me earlier that night maybe have contributed to the experience. Josh said I held the smoke in longer than he expected so that may have made the effects stronger.

Once the tingly pulsating pressure craziness became tolerable I forced myself up and concentrated really fucking hard to walk to my room and drop on my bed. I was out cold immediately. If Josh hadn't been there guiding me, explaining the sensations I should expect to feel I would've started panicking and crying lol. It was intense. I was no prepared for that at all. But it's different for everybody. I'm definitely not doing that again anytime in the near future. I don't think I missed out on much considering I waited as long as I did to try it, but I'm glad I did try it.


^ That was my NYE.
I was showering when Midnight struck. We all hung out in the living room and talked while watching Ninja Scroll. Wouldn't have had it any other way.
Today Rot and I went grocery shopping, got my tips from work and a lb of coffee. He Skyrim'd while I played the crap out of Binding of Isaac pretty much all day today. I got the DLC off steam for 0.74 cents!! It's awesome. Tomorrow I'm off work and gonna play more BoI. :D

I hope everyone else had a good time last night and didn't get in too much trouble. Like feeling like a lizard.
Eeeek it's almost 2:30 :B

Exposed

  I need a distraction.
What are additional life minutes and where can I buy them?!
 LOOK AT THIS.

I swear... when I finally have enough vacation time I'm gonna take a week off work and play the shit out of my games so hard. Like non-stop. I'll only stop for bathroom breaks and taco bell. I'll have a space heater too, fuck this guys prefer cold temperature shit.

I'll beat the smaller ones first, even if it takes me forever. Like a week forever I mean.
Binding of Isaac is hard!! Magdalene was finally unlocked last night. It's one of those games though where... nevermind-- it's basically like the old Zelda games. You start out with 3 hearts. If you die it's game over since I haven't seen a save function. I'm probably just stupid and there's probably a way to do it that I overlooked like a jackass. I LIKE THE CHALLENGE. I thought about Frapsing some of me playing it but naaaaaaah. I can get annoying real fast.

Oh and I haven't beaten Limbo yet. I'm stuck somewhere and can't figure it out.

The sucky part about games like those is that once you beat em, you're pretty much done with them. The whole cool thing about them, at least for me, is the excitement and figuring things out blindly and discovering new things throughout your adventure. That's kind of how I feel about Fallout 3. I'd like to go back and play it differently, but I already know the ending, and for me that kind of retires it. I'm a sucker for storyline. ^^
It's sad, for me, when I finish a game. It probably won't make sense to anyone unless you've ever gotten attached and put a lot into your world, and I don't mean just time. It's still there, the game, and you can go back to it whenever you want, but it's finished. There's nothing left to discover anymore. It's like an awesome adventure book, but you're playing out the fight scenes, the travels, you're meeting the people, living the relationships, and developing your main character but on a much more personal level... and going back to try to relive all that isn't the same, and personally the memory of the feelings I got from first encounters are precious to me. WOW I'M PATHETIC.


Alrighty then. Moving forward... ahem...

Yesterday Jason was like wanna go eat? And I was all yeah! So we went to get Sushi. Completely random but good because I didn't wanna nap. It eventually happened but not until later :P
We went to this sushi place right next to the Target around here. No idea that was even there. It's right next to a Thai place so HULLO.

hurp durp :>

Nom nom nom :D

So gurd! I'll have to take him to Octopus sometime. He picked this place out which wasn't bad. It's a cute, humble place. Octopus will blow his face off. Especially their happy hour omg

Then he wanted a cookie from my work lol. So I treated him to a delicious Eggnog latte and a snowman cookie :P

Naturally, when I got home it wasn't long before I was out cold.

I almost regret going into so much detail about how a game makes me feel. Haha that's like... a part of who I am. It makes me feel a little more exposed >.> 

Speaking of stupid geeky things... at some point I'd like to get an xbox 360 controller for my computer. There are a couple games I want *cough*DARKSOULS*cough* that play completely different and without a controller you're kind of bleh. A trip to Fry's may be in my future soon-ish... eventually.

Boots

   Oddly,  "Happy House" is stuck in my head...

I don't even really care for Siouxsie and the Banshees. Some of their songs are alright, I guess. RANDOM THOUGHTS.

When I got home I flopped on my bed and struggled against falling into REM. In fact, I'm still doing that this very moment. Except in my chair. Dat laziness.

Pillow so fluffy... x_x

The little cut out part on my ear reminds me of the little divots that kitties have on their ears.^^ 

That formed completely by accident btw. I pierced my ears a billion times and played with that one to the point of rejection. The shape it left behind though... dat kitty ear.

Today will consist of more digital escapism and Buffy. My boots look atrocious!

I have to use those until I figure out how to get my work discount on the Sketchers site. No one's responding to me about it. There's no way I'm paying full price on them again, na uh.
Look how gross they look

lol. They're several years old and I love em because they're so durable (they better be for how much I paid for them!) but they look extra gross because they're shiny! Haha XD 

My poor 20 eyes =\

There's sand on them too from my last trip to the beach. I LURB MAH BOOTSIES

Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a neat show. I've watched most of the episodes but completely out of order, lol. So I know mostly what happens throughout the seasons. Never realized how kind of hot Spike is. Drusilla makes me want to gag up bile/residual food particles and feed it to her. Is that weird? Or mean? I don't know. Whatever. HATERS GONNA HATE BIRDS

Wait, what, are those health and mana pots? And swords?

Jolly

  I had forgotten how creepy the Penumbra games are. Just kidding no I didn't, I'm just a pansy.

Christmas things and holiday cheer!
What did Cynthia do for Christmas? Well... not much. I made charms. They're posted all over the place so you've probably already seen them. I'd like to make more but I can't stop playing Penumbra: Overture. Or the Binding of Isaac.
Okay, you don't understand... they were on sale on Steam for like nothing.
However Binding of Isaac inspired me to make charms so you could say that was a technically productive move.

I ran out of glaze. That's actually a lie.

The cap wasn't shut properly and the glaze dried enough to where it wasn't workable. So I had to order more. In the mean time my charms look a little lifeless.

It's a heart.

I have presents that I need to give to people. Admittedly, shipping them was a smarter idea but (1) I hate the post office and (2) see #1.

We all pretty much spent Christmas day playing video games. Nothing out of the ordinary. Josh made Ham the night before so we had something festive to eat.
Rot got Skyrim, I was going back and forth between my two, and Josh I think has been on a Planetside 2 binge. He tried to get us to get in on it-- no, basically. We're both so tied up in Rift that us even parting from it like we have is weird.

Christmas loot

Ponies and Kyrie sent me a Christmas package with the cutest gift ever. It's a matrixykersomething doll. The ones that have a smaller version within the other? It's handmade and he picked out the colors!
Their package was super flashy lol. I had a billion different kinds of fancy, shiny wrapping paper made of precious metals from the earths core and a billion different kinds of hershey's kisses :)
And they also gave me a $30.00 gift card for Veggie Grill. I really like their mushroom burger so that'll be a trip in the near future. The only yucky thing is that the closest one to us is in Hollywood. Yucky Hollywood >.< hah - I got them stuff too but I can't say because they don't have them yet :P

Rot of course bought me the expansion to Rift earlier this year, and then got me two Marilyn Monroe movies. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (a favorite) and Some like it Hot. I used to watch Gentlemen Prefer Blondes on Netflix religiously and memorized the whole damn movie by heart. Then they took it off instant watch :( And the other movie I've never watched before, but I watched and IT'S SO CUTE AND FUNNY. I loved it! -- I got him pants and a cup set that has CRTL ALT DEL keyboard keys as cups. Seems legit.

And Josh.. he went overboard. Remember the artist I went nuts over from Long Beach Comic Con? Who did the line art for the Drizz't comics?
 Josh bought one of his prints and had it framed for me. Pretty awesome, I wasn't expecting that at all. - and I got him a tshirt that says I'm only here because you broke something. Which pretty much is fact. Regarding everything ever. He got a good laugh out of it because it's true.

Also got another nice gift from Santa... a notice for a smog check on my Honda. JOY
There's always something. Also the new work shoes I got are too small. They hurt horribly. JOY
I can't send them back because I used them and also because I hate post offices.
The Saturn is broken. It works, but it's making a worrying sound that makes it feel unsafe to drive. JOY.

Next year looks more promising! Aside from the several times I talked about my Disney trip at the end of January with my friend, Wondercon will be in March! I will attend that convention alone if I have to. Also, I learned my lesson from my Long Beach trip. Definitely will be much better prepared.

This morning before Rot left for work...

he bit me.

OMG so Happy Street... the mobile game I'm always yapping over.. somehow reset itself. Everything gone. All my buildings, my little characters, and most of the things in my bags all gone. However I'm still the same level I was before it reset somehow. I don't know what happened, and it sucks. Though it's kind of fun rebuilding everything again.
YOU GUISE, GET HAPPY STREET. IT'S SO FUN. Add me 'cynthx' on there :D

Grinch

  It's already the end of 2012. It has gone by so quickly to me that I can't recall much of what happened this year, other than the last couple of months.
Thankfully this blog is something to look back on.

I would've so very much liked to have celebrated with my family, as I haven't in 4 years. It's extremely bitter sweet though which to me makes it less appealing. I don't do well with overly-emotional things and rather avoid it all together. But it's been such a long time. Maybe SOMEDAY I'll be able to afford taking more than 4 days off work without worrying about bills and rent.

I was watching Gossip Girl the other night and a scene with Lily Vanderwoodsen complaining about her marriage to Bart Bass came on and she's like explaining to her son "life is tough enough as it is"
and I just wanted to grab something heavy and plunge it into her skull.

She's a billionare from all the divorce settlements she had.

OH NO, I'M MARRYING SOMEONE I DON'T LOVE. AGAIN. LIFE IS TOUGH.


... I managed to get a few Christmas presents this year for a couple people. I hope the recipients like them.

With some of the leftover money I had I bought work stuff. My old work shoes are falling apart, and my shirts are ripping and faded. BUT THAT'S THE L.A. LOOK OMG SO DIY -no. It's retarded.
I redye my stuff quite often but I need new clothes.
Not to mention... I think I'm going through puberty again? I had to buy new bras. TMI perhaps but it's kind of a pain in the ass. I don't know what's going on... but throwing out perfectly good undergarments because they no longer fit is lame considering how much I hate shopping for the shit to begin with.

I HATE SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES.
I rather get a new graphics card :(((

That'll have to wait. Maybe next month or even February.
Working over-time today, but the boss said I wasn't gonna be on the floor. I'll make sure to that.

The good thing though is that Fae Yule in Rift is going on right now! There are decorations everywhere and people have been dying their armor to reds and greens, equipped with Santa hats!
We put out our lights and little Xmas trees also. I still have to go get wrapping paper and bows and whatever to finish wrapping the few things I have, but it'll look nice.
Oooh! I took some screenshots :D

My Vheliza!

This boss fight is extremely fun. Spikes come out of all those little holes in the ground and walls. Positioning yourself properly and strategically is imperative during this fight!

The Iron Tombs dungeon. 

Vheliza and her pet, Ryl. I named him after the Drow Fighter in the War of the Spider Queen series. He's my little tank.

This Bard has a neat helm.

We weren't even posing for anything. Just waiting for everyone to buff up and going over the fight. 

L to R: Rogue, Mage, Warrior tank, Hybrid support, Healer (obvs!)

Rot and me!

Pretty! I asked them if they would let me take a screenshot of them, since they were running around and looked busy.

Prettttyyy!!!

Oh hullo.

This guy looked cool

Yay!

I wanna save up for one of those mounts so bad. The daily quests are difficult to grind. It get tiresome =\. We'll see!

Rot wants us to go see the Hobbit at some point. I'd like to go... but not really. If it was just us it'd be cool because I know it'd be quiet. I'm not a bad person. I've just watched movies with people who don't mind talking through them, or chewing with their mouths open. I can't do it. We can't even watch a movie together in the living room without unnecessary, incessant commentary.. while eating. So I just leave for my room. If that makes me a bad person... I'm totally fine with that!

Can someone go out and get me wrapping paper? Making a trip somewhere just for that seems really stupid to me. But it's necessary because it's the holidays and gifts and *grumble grumble*.. /grinch

January, hurry up!