Thursday, July 11, 2019

fAuX Drama (because AX2019 get it)



    I completely forget how this was gonna start lol. 


So here's a picture of someone from work being silly after I shouted at him for endangering everyone in the building by RUNNING UP THE STAIRS. JEEZ.



And here's another of my happy face because someone else from work made onigiri and brought some for us and this was my second one and was also leaving to go home to a 4 day weekend and and and and

run on sentences!


Things have been nice. I've just been going home and chillin. The nights are getting warmer, which means night swims in our pool are closer than ever. In the mean time, my housemate and I just settle for booze and reading by the pool instead.




On Friday evening, right after the second earthquake, I decided driving 45 minutes north to go to the night market, alone, was a great idea.



It actually was really nice. I haven't been on a long drive like that at night in a while. It's so therapeutic. But then, I arrived. And the quiet quickly died, as even the lights were loud.



I knew Seoul Street would be there, so I sought them out. 626 is much larger than the OC night market, but after a while of wandering, unimpressed with 5325567 fusion french fries booths, I finally spotted them.



 They hooked me up with a massive thing of kimchi bulgogi fries. I'm not worthy lol. They even encouraged me to skip the line the last time I saw them. So... I tippy-toed towards the back of the booth when I spotted John, and waved. He asked me what I wanted, and seconds later his sister Angie came out to greet me and make sure I was getting something xD



I devoured that so fast lol. Probably shouldn't have because it filled me up. The only other thing I wanted was something sugary and cold. Like a dessert or a drink. I found a booth with halo halo



Man. Halo halo is so hit or miss. I don't understand how halo halo can be done badly. The one I got was BAD. No flavor, bland, watered down- they put way too much crushed ice. I've had good halo halo and crappy sub par ones but this one was like... damn. Never again. I'm mad lol.

I hung out there for maybe 2 hours before heading home with a full tummy. It was nice to be out alone. Earlier that evening, my bf drunk texted me lol. He had colleagues over and they were all having a good time. But it's cool. I don't mind venturing alone, especially at night. Maybe now that it's warmer, I may go back to some old habits of long night drives again. Catch some pokemon. Visit my spot. Who knows







A N I M E   E X P O  |  2 0 1 9

 The fire marshal, apparently, was called on Friday because of Artist Alley.


Another year of weebs gathering at the largest weeb convention ever. As many sources have reported, the weebs were too much, and again incurred the wrath of mother nature. While last year, she tried to kill everyone with unbearable heat, this year she tried to banish Southern California into her depths via not one, but two tectonic plate shuffles. Both of which failed. So I'm excited for next year. We're all just going to drown, I'm sure of it.


I finished my cosplay in time! A funny thing; I hadn't thought things through as far as accessorizing goes because the car ride to the convention center was awful. See, Doujun wears a ton of rope around his waste (wards against evil spirits), and intertwined in that rope are also other relics. 

He has like, these pouches of stuff (presumably medicines and herbs), and like, a dagger sheath, a bottle, a canteen, and a huge bamboo fishing basket- which also wards off evil spirits. 


BUT. I had attached all of these things on the rope, like woven them into the wrapping of my waist, and when I went to get into the car, it was a total oh shit moment.  

I made it to the convention center safe and sound. But unfortunately, the fastening on my bottle wasn't strong enough for the friction from the car ride. It's cool though. It easily stowed away in my fishing basket.




The props... lol oh man.
I had no clue how to even approach them.


Eventually, I just found some cedar pouches, sprayed them with brown clothes dye, and then it was just a matter of finding stuff similar to the remaining items.


I found a sponge, a gutting knife (for fishing) that came with the perfect size and color sheath, and a dumpy kinda similarly shaped tumbler. The sponge I just carved into the canteen shape and sprayed it. The tumbler... I did my best to line in faux black leather fabric that I had left over from other cosplays, and then sprayed that. And the sheath was fine. The knife, well. It's nearby. Don't break into my house ^_^


Sunday was the only day I attended.

I say this with the context of being antisocial and shy, and only going for buying some manga and just being around weeb shit. I've also been around long enough to understand how the scene works. While there are a tooooon of amazing cosplayers, and the love was awesome for my cosplay, I don't really like pandering. So, I just met up with people from work. And, no one recognized me in cosplay, haha.


I got there extremely early, like, line up in the garage before the convention center even opened- early. I wanted to make sure traffic wasn't an issue, assured a good parking spot, and had time to fix anything that needed fixing before going in without feeling rushed. So, for the first time, I was in the group with some of the first people to go in. It's not something to be proud of, just... new. 

A couple people stopped me for photos almost immediately T_T waaaahh the love was real




When I stepped into the vendor hall, I'd never seen it so empty lol. It was a nice calm before the storm.






 Nailed it.

So a few things I noticed. My kimono is huge. I need to take it in, at least the sleeves. They're supposed to be massive, but I'm smol, and miscalculated the measurements. Another thing... burlap sucks. I will say that having an entire cosplay made from it is actually nice in that it's light and breathable, it also chaffs exposed skin. I was wearing shorts and a tshirt underneath, but my thighs squish a little, so that friction sucked. Mental note: fix that. 
And finally, the "shoes" were quite literally just burlap fastened with twine. I wore black sandals for cushioning so I wouldn't be walking around basically in burlap socks all day, but wrapping the twine requires more strategy than I thought. The burlap began to come loose after a while, and I had to keep kneeling down to tighten and fasten the burlap in place a few times. 

LEARNING! HOORAY







Ah yes. My eyes. Scleras would've been phenomenal with this cosplay. My eyes look too soft. I didn't apply any make up seeing as how only like, 9% of my face is showing, but that maybe was a mistake. I didn't like how my eyes looked in contrast to everything else.


Still, overall this is probably a current favorite. I worked really hard on it and am really proud of how it came out. It wasn't a total mess T_____T and I love Doujun so much lol. Creepy boyyyy




LOVE these two!


While this year I only went one day, I've no regrets lol. AX has gotten so insane. Even with a badge in hand, it took over 3 hours to get into the venue because it reached capacity. They continue to sell badges without a cap, and ... I'm trying to mind my own business about it but... idk. There isn't a solution that I can think of that would help with it except for capping tickets.But... that's never gonna happen.


I left with a few things. This hoodie... I've been eyeing it for a few years, and every time I see it, I regretfully pass it by. Not this year!!!


It was expensive, but it went to an artist and... I'm down with that.



Also got this manga and finished it immediately. It's cute. May actually go find more volumes to purchase.



I'm trash.



OH. LAST THING. 

So, I had another eerily specific practice throw the other night. 
Like, usually when I do them, I just wanna get better at interpreting stuff faster and smoothly. And usually, they feel generic and can apply to any whatever situation. But every once in a while, I get crazy ones that I have to retell, because they're just.... like... LOL THAT SUCKS. I can't make this shit up. It'd seriously be a fun k-drama.



Okay, SO.
3 rows of 3
 
   TOP                          past
   MIDDLE                   present
BOTTOM                future

On the right is underlying energy behind all of what's happening.


Top row, in the past, it says that X (our make believe person) has unexpectedly encountered someone new. A surprise, unexpected news. Not what X had in mind, but for the moment, it's refreshing and pleasant.
  •  In this situation, it can be a job offer from someone, a new friend, or a new lover. The knight of wands on the top right indicates that someone wants to come forward and offer love.

The 3 of coins on the far right
  • maybe a new relationship, or depending on the other cards, a current relationship can also close, bearing a new opportunity for another.
  • there's a kid involved, maybe a pregnancy
  • this card bears the fruit of possibilities
The 7 of cups came out clarifying that there will be triumph and prosperity. It's basically wish fulfillment. A yes. For the 3 of coins.
  • Does X want to be in another relationship? 
  • Maybe X is a parent or will be a parent?
  • Something X wants might come to pass. 
for this card, we need the entire spread complete in order to get better context.


In the present:

The middle row showed one of the worst cards in the Spanish tarot; 5 of swords. 
X is working very hard and in the career field, they flourish. 
However, the swords card tells that X is also mourning. Regrets, sorrow, loss, struggles and challenges. In spite of all of X's rewarding work life, there is something that keeps X up at night that they can't heal from.

I wanted to clarify the swords card. 6 of wands came out. Another negative card. It basically means... a hard no. Not gonna happen. Outright just... nope. So this could be interpreted in a few ways.
  • Regretting not acting on what they wanted to, maybe a missed opportunity. Could also be what they truly desire is too far from them now to take any action towards it. It's too late. Whatever that pain is, they struggle to move on from it. And it haunts them tremendously.

The 3 of swords card came out as clarification for the middle card; 7 of wands (which has to do with working, patiently, towards a goal)... signifies a third party situation. Specifically, a struggle with a third party. 
  • Maybe supporting a family or a friend
  • indebted to someone
  • whatever it is, X also has to consider a third party to support with their career. It causes struggles. Maybe financially, or emotionally. Either way, it's a thorn in their side.


The bottom row;

 In the original top photo, there was the ace of cups, the ace of wands, and the 4 of coins in reverse.

Something profound is coming as a direct result of X's doing. The wand tells that patience will be needed. And the coins warns in its reversed state that there are some around X that may go behind their back and betray them. Beware of people close to X, who may not have X in their best interest.

I clarified the two aces. 
Two women came out. 
  • The jack of swords. This woman is middle aged, assertive, and will do what it takes to achieve the results she seeks. She is a force to be reckoned with.
  • The jack of cups could be a woman, but also represents the emotional side and the need to use your head instead of acting with your heart. An emotional woman, or person basically.
Clarifying the coins, was the 5 of wands; slowness, stagnancy but to be resilient. 

So someone would be coming toward X
  • They may want something
  • it could be a while since they saw each other? Maybe an emotional situation. 
  • But it could be someone X doesn't trust, and it trying to get over. A past person?
Then, finally, I clarified the jack of swords. 
The ace of swords came out. Which means.... legal documents. paperwork. bureaucratic stuff.
  • is X getting married? or divorced?
  • could be that X is teaming up with someone under a contract for work?
but if we look at the other cards.... I deduced that...

A woman is going to come to X about, more than likely, a divorce. It will be a long, drawn out, emotional process. There will be people silently judging X throughout it. Everything will feel like dragging feet and pulling teeth, but it needs to be done. 

SO. OVERALL, THIS SPREAD IS TELLING THAT

   X unexpectedly fell into a new relationship that feels good. Sure, why not? Lets try it out. 
However, in spite of this relationship, in the back of X's mind, the thought of a loss or missed opportunity with an old relationship still haunts X. 
They can't move on from it, and the sadness weighs deeply on them. It has them second guessing the new relationship that sprung up on them. 
But X continues to work hard in order to support their family, probably even the child they have or is on the way. 
Divorce will come, and even though it will be one of the hardest things X will endure, they have to face their spouses' demands, and see it through. It will happen. 
In the back of their mind, X struggles with juggling a lover that maybe won't last, a past regret that still hurts, and a resentful spouse, in addition to the many judgements from surrounding friends or family. 


K-drama. 

Am I wrong? Would that or would that not make an awesome K-drama?  Maybe a short one because the cat's out of the bag, but still.


I love my cards lol. THANKS MOM. 

There's a lot that goes into reading the Spanish tarot, but it basically all comes down to context. Like, it's easier if you have someone ASKING you about what it is that they want to know, as opposed to just... ambiguously reading the base meaning of the cards and forming a story from them, but... yeah. Context. And as things get more and more unraveled, it can get pretty detailed and weird. You just kinda put everything together that seems to make the most sense. In this spread, I'd say the sad emo 5 of swords card pretty much was the glue. Even though the 3 of coins was the underlying energy thing, the sadness and regret makes everything else come together. 


NEAT HUH?


I regret not learning it when my grandmother tried to teach it to me. At the time, I was a teenager and it just didn't appeal to me. I didn't care about anyone's personal affairs, and at the time it seemed like I'd be involving myself in peoples problems. But in hindsight, I recall people coming to my grandmother because, now I understand, she gave them hope in a sense. Or clarity. When they felt lost or weren't really sure which direction to take in life. Which, is kinda cool? I guess? 

I wanna say I don't believe, but a part of me also WANTS to believe it. Simply because... while I do believe I am in charge of my own destiny, there isn't really a faith that I follow. It's just... me, myself and I. And sometimes I want to surrender to something else when me, myself and I get too exhausted trying to get my shit together, at least mentally. You know? Even if it's all bullshit, it's still something I can, for a moment, indulge in. And then forget about 10 minutes later. 



TL;DR
imaginary person fucked up really hard and is stuck and regrets everything
tarot is bullshit but can be fun



626 Night Market again this weekend because I'm disgusting :D

Monday, July 1, 2019

đụ má mày (i'm so sorry there's context i swear)

   We got a new friendo in our building. I suck at SC like... it's not even funny how much I can't micro in that game. But he's still cute.



That's how I'm opening this one. That's it. 

Ahhh. Something brief occurred that bugged me more than it should have. It's not a big deal in hindsight. I just ... am confused by certain characteristics that present themselves- unconscious or otherwise. Like... snobby glances towards me before quickly looking down, that kinda betray the unconscious part. A second time, different location, glanced at me again, then hid behind someone. To my knowledge, I've done nothing to this person that would warrant any type of animosity. But... it's the cosplay community, so who knows.

context; we know each other. but not anymore lol?

For the record, the cosplay community isn't shitty. And this interaction isn't representative of it as a whole. The small, loud monopoly of it? Yeah... yeeeaahhh kinda... but not the whole lol. Just, to clarify. :D



Alright. Here we go.

So... there's this thing about Blizz and corgis. And it's like, haha. How cute. Blizz likes corgis. WELL. SO. Last week, we celebrated Bring your Doggo to Work Day! 
I mean, if we're being real, that is ... pretty much every day already. But on this particular day, it was special. And we had a fun event for friends and fam to join in on.



There were even rescue booths encouraging future fur parents to find out if adoption was an option they'd like to explore.
WOW that was crazy diplomatic wording... I had to rethink how to write that, twice. 

That happens when you get older. Word choice becomes less choice, and more neutral with appeasing undertones.



Riley was showing off her specs because... she can.


Doggos flooded around the Orc statue, enjoying a delicious gourmet Puppaccino, topped with mlem certified milk bones.





 Corgis. Corgis everywhere. Above is Rinnie. She's a hopper.
And then there's Cooper. His cup runneth over his whole snout






 Bailey is fucking pretty. That's it.



 Aaaaannnd Lord Victor Nefarius, aka Nefarian, aka Nef.

/HAIL



 So many puppers all in once in one place. Was pretty fun





 Favorite doggo. He didn't wanna come out and just wanted to stay in his little carrier. I don't think he would've liked the milk bones as much as the other doggos did though.



SO LOL.


 Galbi jjim needed to be introduced to my housemate. I've been telling her about it for forever, we just never timed it well with our schedules. And ... I talk about it all the time, and used to spam a ton of pictures of it here and social media, and stopped because it was annoying, but.
We finally did it. Except... this was a first for me too because I don't think I've ever been to Sun Nong Dan when the sun is out LOL. 

OH MY GOD. So.
We got the spicy (duh) and for her first visit, I suggested the medium amount of meat instead of the large. That's the upgrade for later lol. And these dudes.... they forgot the rice cakes! Legit. They forgot the rice cakes! I hadn't noticed it until we got under the cheese and cleared away some of the mountain that was covering everything, when I realized that the dish felt emptier than usual. 

And yeah. I wasn't that upset, but a part of me was also kinda like... wtf guys. Becaaaauuuuuse this dish isn't cheap lol. I mean... I'm good on that, but it's the principal. You know? You're charging people a decent amount, and all the ingredients aren't even in the dish :\

So I told our waiter- it was cool. I just let him know that the chef missed the rice cakes. My only thing was... they weren't even like, OH my bad! That sucks! It was more like... oh. okay brb. here u go.

And like, I understand. Shit happens sometimes but... IT'S AN EXPENSIVE DISH THO =\ At least like... idk. Try to understand that this isn't just a, OH that sucks. k brb. kinda thing. If I wasn't a disgusting gremlin that came here to eat too much, Nyl wouldn't have even known. I almost didn't notice it, but I have a galbi jjim problem. So I did. So.... yeah. Just... that. That was all. 

We devoured it tho. I was proud of her. She loved it.

For the record, when you order galbi jjim specifically, it's supposed to come with rice cakes. That's the LAW.  It's written in the heavens. on marble. in magic ink made from the finest powders of pegasus feathers. Cruelty-free. IT COMES WITH RICE CAKES OK and potatos and carots and leek and onion and pepper and ribs and if you get the large, it comes with extra rib meat cut free from the bone. THAT'S IT. THAT'S THE LAW. cheese is extra. I didn't make the rules. That's just the way it is.


 That was... a long rant about food. I'm sorry.


Speaking of food. Our food trucks are awesome lol



 Freshly clipped Mercy wings smoked in buffalo sauce. 
YUM



 OH YEAH. 
So we went to go see the new Child's Play movie. 
And... I have so many feels about it. Mostly about... what it means to be Good or Evil. And how that concept can be programmed into an absolute command within Artificial Intelligence. I had a discussion about it today at work without too much context from the movie. Some said that Good and Evil are too subjective to be coded into absolutes (as in behavioral software for A.I.). While others felt that over time, A.I. would learn correlations by retaining associations to experiences that expose it to negative results, or positive results. Someone then presented the argument that those correlations are basically how human emotion drives us into reasoning and choice. 

I disagreed. I argued that we are too irrational, and our "programming" isn't as linear as an A.I.'s response to associations would be. We could sway this way or that, easily, from one moment to the next, based on raw emotion. Whereas A.I. would more than likely calculate the response it was programmed to respond with, in accordance with what it has "learned."

We also talked about extremes and what it meant to filter extreme behavioral patterns in A.I. An example would be the A.I. protecting its human at all costs- even if it meant hurting another human or creature who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. And it became a pattern. Would that mean the A.I. was Evil? In its purest form? Or ... is it programming? 

I'm fascinated by subjective experiences because the way I view the world is um, by all accounts, not the most popular route to take. I ask questions first, analyze, and conclude later. With how heavily charged so many topics are these days, I simply turn the other way. Because I can't blindly follow everything that's thrown at me, one way or the other. And, unfortunately, that silences me to a degree I don't care to defend. 

But any contributions to the conversation would be dope. I love discussions about stuff!

also OOPS accidentally got galbi jjim twice in one week



because I'm a gremlin. 
BUT. FUNNY STORY. So, we got spicy. And... I think????? Assuming is dumb so I don't want to assume, but ... I can't think of any other reason why this would be a thing but... this visit, I went with Chicken, and they made our dish REALLY spicy. Like, reaalllllyy. But... when I went earlier in the week with Nyl, it was still decently spicy, but pleasant. And... I'm... a little confused on why there seems to be a lack of consistency in spiciness.


 Chicken said it was because he was there. I mean. 
.. ............................. 

idk. 

I love spicy, but we were struggling lol. We finished it, but damn. It fucked us up haha. 

aneeeWEIII yeah... weird. At least this time the rice cakes weren't forgotten.



And todayyyy, amongst other stuff, Chicken surprised me with the Diablo Bestiary!


It's exactly that. Has all the babies in the Diablo universe with descriptions and bits of lore. LOOK AT MY CUTE BAT CHILD


AND MY IDOL



both of which I've approached in replicating with clay. The bat is finished. Cydaea however.... um. I probably need to just start from scratch again. My inexperience and pride (not looking anything up) has presented more obstacles than I am equipped to deal with skill wise. I just have to approach her differently is all. But it's a daunting project. Larger sculptures are hard lol. 


Sigh. I'm stuck on Genichiro in Sekiro. It hasn't been 3 years yet, so there's still time yet before I have to finish it (or I burst into hundreds of broken pixels and burrow myself into real landscapes and disappear forever but not without leaving annoying marks on everything that no one can get rid of. Ever). He really sucks. I'm still mad about thinking I killed him the first time...



Night Market? YEEEEEEE

Little Saigon is kinda nearby. Had to check it out


Their night market is going on every weekend all summer long! I'm down looool






I lost count how many times I was stepped on and shoved and pushed. It was great. Just like a real night market.





My only regret was not dragging Chicken along. I know how much he loves crowds and rich culture. Especially the shoving part.




We didn't have a lot that night, but will be returning a little more prepared. It was a lot to take in because of inexperience. Also, everything was in Vietnamese. And the only Vietnamese I know is "đụ má mày", which I learned from this one kid in 4th grade. And yeah, there was none of that at the Little Saigon Night Market.


Anime Expo is this weekend. I'm stoked to bring my cosplay. And... it's likely that absolutely no one will recognize it. Which.... is generally the case. And that's fine. I'm used to it lol. Still, I'm proud of it! Mostly because.. I actually got it done lol. 


Also... Nazjatar in WoW is beautiful and I'm so proud of the teams that brought it to all to everyone to enjoy. Like... wow. PRECIOUS BABIES.


Also.... 4 day weekend and 626 Night Market draws near. I went to Seoul Street today and they were like JUST SKIP THE LINE YOU'RE FINE. but... you see. my alignment is Lawful. I argued with them that that's fucked up and they were like YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES and while they may be right, JUSTICE. It's the rules :(  We learn in kindergarten not to cut the line :\


WE'LL SEE.  I need to relax lol. It's not a big deal, I'm just anxious and don't want anyone to think I'm a rude goth gf. Because I'm not. I'm a polite goth gf. Sometimes probably even too polite. Please chew with your mouth closed. It's atrocious otherwise. Cover your mouth when you cough. Say please and thank you. DON'T FUCKING LITTER DON'T LEAVE GALBI JJIM LEFTOVERS



alright i'm done