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    And they drop, drop, drop like flies.


Forgive the lack of images in this post. I've been slacking with photos just because going through the ones I do take to edit has become a massive chore.

This will also be a bit of a personal post as well, so... don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm in almost done with yet another commission! This one will be a little harder for me because it entails a texture I've never done before- outstretched wings.

This is the reference picture I was provided. 

It's a piggy with wings! 

After some investigation I tracked the artist down and found some more paintings of his that have pigs in similar positions. This has been really helpful because idkwtf I'm doing with wings, lol. But it's fun! Definitely a challenge, for sure.

I'm also working on another project, but that will have to wait to be revealed later. I assure you... it's awesome. I'm quite proud of how it's come out so far. ^_^

OH. Saturday evening I hung out with Ponies again. 

We went out to dinner at Shojin, this vegan sushi place in Little Tokyo that I've been to only once before for his birthday dinner a few years ago. It's a lovely place. They infuse their water with fruit and it tastes like good things. The most delicious water I've ever had in my life.
We stuffed our faces there and then split for NoHo because our friend was celebrating her birthday party there at someones' house. Care and Blanca! 

I've mentioned them before. I always forget this happened but I vomited at their place once because Blanca made these strawberry lemonade alcoholic drink things and they tasted like juice and I couldn't stop drinking them, and apparently I dropped my head on the table and passed out.
Ponies stayed the whole night with me and I woke up on their couch puking up kawaii pink barf.

Isn't that attractive? 

I think it was actually the Saturday morning that Blizzcon tickets were gonna sell... I don't remember. Maybe that was the other time I went. I dunno. ANYWHO, Care and Blanca are awesome. 

The party was held in the back yard, which was huge. There was a fire pit thingy, and a DJ, lots of outdoor Zombie dècor, and tons and tons of food.

As more people showed up, the closer I got to the fire pit. I literally put myself in charge of keeping the fire alive throughout the night. It was the best thing ever. I felt like an elf in a forest during the winter, just scraping by in the cold of night desperately trying to survive with this measly little fire that wouldn't burn to its neato potential (because the 2x4 pieces of wood weren't completely dry) but I fanned that fucker to life and kept it alive all night with the help of crappy beer boxes that wouldn't light, napkins, paper plates, and scavenged tree branches.

People got down and funky, and of course the cops were called. 

Man, Porto's has some good baked goods. I underestimate them. Too bad I don't care that much, but if I did... I'd go there to eat again. 

--Anyway.. all in all it was a really fun night. It ended with Ponies handing me a gift from Spain that he encountered off of a street artist. 

 It's a framed scripture of what is titled; "Definition of Friendship"

written in Spanish, with a little girl drawn onto it.

It's incredibly lovely, and reading this made me feel a calm that I didn't know I needed.

I am talking to someone about an apprenticeship in the field I want to pursue, and it's possibly the most exciting thing ever to happen to me. My hopes are up, sadly, and I'm honestly and truly hoping and crossing my fingers for some good news. When all that crash and burns I can always look back on this post and tell myself "now why the hell did you get your hopes up?"


Also this year will not be short of cons. I will be dragging the boy to Long Beach Comic Con (as he's never been to a con before) to view all of the splendors and things. How awesome would it be if he wears his Boba Fett helmet. Admittedly, I'll have a difficult time keeping my hands off of him though.

Also Bat's Day this year is a definite. I will be assisting InkBleed Books in boothing again- woohoo! I'm stoked for the 4th book. My favorite character is the unnamed "Maddie's BFF." He's an idiot, but he's hilarious.

I just want to document that as of lately I've been feeling so much better about the things and people in my life. 
My job doesn't suck like it once did, and has improved and is still improving tenfold.
I have a new plan for school that won't leave me feeling like a total failure again.
This apprenticeship may be a thing, and if it is I don't even know if I'll be able to not implode from joy.
Fett has been so wonderful with me. His understanding and empathy is endless. From the moment his sneaky ass turned our casual 'hey wanna come with to go run this errand I have to do?' to a lunch date, to lovelier fun and new experiences following that, to this point I haven't felt so invigorated in such a long time.

One of the most monumental things he's done that's affected me was;
one lazy afternoon while we lay in bed together with the awful sun pouring in through his windows, I relentlessly struggled against him to keep myself covered beneath his sheets. There was so much daylight, and everything was in 1080P. I couldn't possibly let him see me!
We all have insecurities, and I've had mine all my life, especially growing up. The boy that sat next to me in 7th grade Biology, Gordan Getz, made a comment to me, about me, that drove the nail in further.
So.
There's that, plus scars. Not from self harm, but from desperately trying to fix a problem area that went wrong. And I've a pretty fair complexion so it's like 1080P x 50 billion MAGNIFIED TO THE 534TH TRILLIONTH POWER.
He kept repeating "I want you to feel comfortable with me.... stop."
I would writhe beneath him and would go to grab the covers for him to just shove them away again and take my wrists. After a little bit of that, I finally relaxed, he continued to reassure me, telling me he's seen and felt everything, and that he doesn't care.

It's a shitty feeling having to hide yourself in broad daylight, or just with lights on, in front of someone you're attracted to. You worry that they'll be so turn off by you that those moments you yearn for with them will be just... awful. And when they are, everything else falls apart that much faster.

I'm thankful for him every moment that we're together. Who knew someone could care that much about you that they force you to cut that insecurity shit out around them? It was the most bizarre display of aggression and compassion combined, but it worked.

I made us spaghetti today. Easiest shit ever but there was a ton of it.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. It's safe to say we've been celebrating our affections for one another way before tomorrow's date, but I feel that this Vday in 2014 will be one to look back on fondly.


Also, I have insurance finally! It's so funny to me how differently it makes me feel. I haven't had insurance for a loooong time. It's good to know that a trip to the emergency room won't suck ass.
Tonight I finish writing this post from Fett's room. I brought over all my stuff to work on while I'm here, indulging in Chobani with honey and oats.

Time to finish things and have all the snuggles.


awful but funny;
When your boyfriend tells you to put your piercings back in for God Mode challenge, he's a keeper. #yup #gamerthings #sorrynotsorry