Laguna

HULLO BLAHG. MISS YOU      

     So, I did that thing again where I started writing a blog post because my mind was bloated with thoughts, and ended up not finishing or even really getting past the beginning. But, re-reading this, I feel like I shouldn't dismiss how I felt that evening, on the 5th. So, I'll leave this here as a reminder to myself of how much of a little bitch I can be:  

 There's a lot on my mind. What else is new!

I have this feeling... (again) that makes me want to hide from everything and distance myself. I think it's fear. I don't know. I feel like everything good that happens is just a bait. Getting close to it means closing the gap for imminent danger. So... I'll get close enough to check it out.

Looks good. Smells good. Looks safe.

why is it here?

And then I think about some lyrics in a song called "All I ever wanted" from the Prince of Egypt (love that movie so much omg) and Moses is sitting with the Queen by the Nile River and he's like,

So is this where you guys like, found me or whatever?

And the Queen is like, yeah. so?

And he's like, so I'm like some stray dog you picked up. Why me?

And she's like...

 

So I legit try to keep that in my mind. Mind you, I'm not a polytheist. That's way too much to keep track of. But, essentially, the message is to just not question (good) stuff that comes into your life because of your own doubts. 

I feel so overwhelmed with emotions. It's crap.

But... feels good to write about it I guess. Bottling sucks. 

The Disneyland fireworks are going on.

I don't want to be awake. 

i'm so disgusted with myself that i just felt my stomach just like.. do a thing, as if rejecting ALL OF THIS, lol. 

MOVING ON. 


And that's pretty much as far as it got before I forfeited to my brooding and went to bed. While I do not like chocolate, sometimes I feel like I should just have some handy, in case of vulnerable dry spells like that one. Just... eat chocolate and get my chemicals in check. Then move along.
Does that work? Does that even work? I don't even know, I'm just guessing. Because when I am about to transform, I crave chocolate stuff. It's so weird. And when I eat it, it's really satisfying. 

WHATEVER. LET US RIDE INTO BATTLE
 into the battlefield that is my brain words scrambling to make sense of one another in stupid, desperate synergistic poop.


So like I totally went to the beach during the day.
Is that weird? To say that? That's what people do, but Cynth has not visited a beach during the day in many moons. At least 6 moons. that's gotta be at least a week. Or something--- a LONG TIME.
Laguna Beach, to be exact.
I think the first time I ever even heard about this beach is from television, several years ago. It's a tv show right? Or was. I don't know. but I remember hearing it on TV. 

BUT, CYNTH. HOW!?
Well, let me tell you, internetty reader babies.

My friend was like, "can you swim?"
me: "ya"
friend: "come with us."
me: "okay."

He's the total opposite of me. Like, if we were animals (i've made this self-analogy a billion times but for the sake of imagery, humor me) he'd probably be like, a... a...

hmm...
some kind of pack animal. He's always climbing shit, and hiking, and eating, and showing his teeth, and making noises with his face (i think they're called word-barks), and hangs out in packs, and is so energetic and friendly and adorable, right

 and then there's me:

because.
There's something about crowded, shared, public places with loudness, lots of skin, children, and sun exposure that just... does not initially appeal to me. 
like what are these hot rays on my person they burn and why are humans staring and people are yelling and i'm frightened where am i this is not at all a ramen eating experience

but... it wasn't that bad. 
I went with a group of friends, and it turned out to be really fun. 

I'm such an asshole, lol

That Saturday afternoon, lets call him Smiley, came to pick me up. 
While I've spoken to him on le internets, we'd never met in person. He greeted me exactly the way he looks in all of his photos. I lol'd on the inside.

In the car were other people, who later on in the day I found to be really cool and easy to get along with. I also made a new friend ^^

WATER. 

AND I CAN SEE INTO IT.

Like, I'm not even gonna lie, I got some anxiety because the other bathing suit I bought I think I threw away because lol, so I went to target and got a two piece, plus a smock to put over that. And I also went to the dollar store to buy a sun hat-- that same day. 

I was rushing because I needed to have all my shit ready for when he got there.

And he had said we were also going to go hiking after.

THANKFULLY, I have running shoes because I'm weird and running relaxes me. 

So that wasn't a problem

But the water time apparel proved to be a slightly unforseen expense, lol. both out of pocket and a teensy bit taxing on my brain thinks, but that's fine. 

it's fine.

i was fine.

everything was good to go.

MEET SMILEY:

 It was very beach-y.
There was sand, and water, and people. There were also houses, and grass, as you can note from the photo presented above.

 That's Gi and her man :D

 He said I couldn't take a billion photos unless he and I took a selfie. So.
We took a selfie.
Lord, look how tan my neck is compared to the rest of my SOUL
that's right. i wore a smock to the beach.
JUDGE AWAY.
IT WAS BLACK, AND LACEY, AND BIG, AND FLOW-Y, AND CUTE. AND YOU COULD STILL SEE MY CUTE TWO PIECE UNDERNEATH.

subtley, friends.
subtley.

 rude.
That's Clovis.
Cool dude. We didn't talk much because Gi and I were bonding and I couldn't stop taking photos.

See?
He's basically someone's Labrador Retriever. 

Frisbee. 

 

Not gonna lie, it was nice out.
We got into the water, and I would've totally submerged myself entirely if the floor wasn't so rocky!
The cold water felt really good on that hot day. It was a lot of fun.

I learned that I can't toss a frisbee straight. So that was cool.

 That's totally a wedding going on behind them.
Like, where even is the food?
Wtf are the guests gonna eat-- KELP? Can't even eat kelp.
The servings would be so off because everyone would get different pieces, and there's sand everywhere and no appetizers-- no. it'd be a disaster

We were there for a few hours until it started to get cloudy, and our tummies grumbly.
So we packed up and headed to a place that serves the food.

Sand. everywhere.

Eventually, we came across this one place that's supposedly African... fusion? Or something?

To stress this, there are parrots out front as you walk into the patio and up the fancy stairs. 

 He liked the parrots.

We got seated and cozy

Mmmm, medium rare.
It was pretty good. 

Good talk.
And once we were done, it had gotten significantly colder out, so we opted to not go hiking. Also the sun was going down, and that'd be kind of stupid? So instead, Smiley took us somewhere because he has a craving for like cookies.

And we went to this really cute place that sold all kinds of miniature desserts.
I felt like I was on a Gossip Girl set.

Clovis sitting pretty.

Just wanna pat him on the head

I bought 3 of these little cuties. Pistachio, Strawberry, and Blueberry. NOM

He drove us to yet another place, which was kinda like a shopping center with tons of different food thingies. And he got a cookie cup with milk in it. I wanted to get one, but i was stuffed.

And after that, we went to this other place, lol.
And walked around for a while trying to find chocolate. :D
Not for me.
For him. It was imperative that he find this particular kind of chocolate. 

All in all, it was a really fun day. Wasn't expecting to go on that many trips to so many different places. But was really cool.
10/10
would beach again.

Oh, and I had work the next morning at 4am, but Freya decided to give birth under my bed. 

I was awoken by the noise of high pitched mewing.
I followed the noise to under my bed and used a light to find Freya under there w/ a wet butt. Immediately, I rushed to my housemates' room and awoke him, telling him what was happening. We relocated her to his room.

She had given birth to one kitten at that point.
Since I had to be up at 3, and it was midnight, I went back to bed. She was still in labor then.

When I got home from work the next morning, I immediately went to go see the babies.

And they were so CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE

She looked so proud, lol.
Poor thing. According to my housemate they were up late and she had been in labor for most of the night. 

Lately, I also had the idea of just making baby bat miniatures because looking at pictures of baby bats wrapped in blankets was making me really sad, so I made one for myself.

I stupidly posted it on social media, and people as always are like OMG I WANNA BUY ONE

so I stupidly made more and posted them for sale and as always no one buys one, lol.

But that's okay! 

Because.... ^_^ 

They make me happy, lol.

 These aren't the finished products. Just the raw stages because I baked and painted them.

But they're so cute. 

I have this huge spider on my desk, and they're just chillin there on it's legs, wrapped in cute little blankies, staring at me ^_^ 

That's two.

If you wanna see the others, there's a link here to the shop. Meh.

SO.

Aside from beachy things, I've been hanging with homies from work tons. 

It's kind of incredible how close we've gotten over the last couple of months. It was well needed frankly, because all three of us had just relocated to the area, and it was nice to have that in common. 

One night, for T's pre-bday celebration for her 21st, we (as in myself and Dinhy) wanted to take her out to downtown Fullerton. The last time we went, it was definitely um... memorable. To say the least. So we did that.

But first, food:

 

This place was really cute inside. In all aspects, lol.

It was 4 of us all together, all from work.

Truth be told, not the greatest rolls or udon =\
In fact, the udon tasted like the microwaveable bowl stuff I used to buy in Little Tokyo. And it's not the first place to serve it like this. But, whatever. We were there for T.

After dinner, our 4th coworker bounced and we split for DTF.
On a Wednesday night.
AWE YEAH.
She was turning 21 at midnight, and we had to do something, even if it was dumb lol.

SUFFICE IT TO SAY
it was pretty dead.
But we got to walk around and at least she got into the bars, and one of the bouncers even gave her a celebratory high-five!
It was quickly decided that Dinhy's place would be much more suitable for this occasion.
He had booze, and chips, and jammies.

lezgo.

We were up until 4, drinking.

LOL

until we finally all passed out on his floor together.

he's blind as shit

The next morning, we slept in until like 11:40.
He had a final at noon, lol.
We hauled ass out of there and later that day we wanted to take T out for food, but turns out her family kind of likes her or whatever and also wanted to spend time with her I guess, so she went with them.

Dinhy and I were hungry so...

We went and got ramen + boba
in DTF lol

BY THE WAY:

I've become obsessed with chili garlic edamame. I think I mentioned this before in my last blog post?!

WELL I WASN'T KIDDING.

I went out and bought bags of soy bean pods and other shit to prepare them with and omg.

I need to get more edamame. This was my last serving, and I shared it with my housemates.

They liked it too. 

I could live off of this.

And that juice there, I totally save it and prepare white rice and just pour it over that and ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

it's so good.

I should've been a chef.

lol nah.

I only like cooking what I want to eat. Anything else seems exhausting.

anyyyywaaaaayyy, I think this entry is long enough.

No where near done with photos.

I went to the beach again. 

and got fat at a night market. omg

Anime Expo is coming up.

I'M NOT STRESSED. THAT'S NOT STRESSFUL