New skill up

What an interesting day today was. Mostly just the morning, actually. I learned what it felt like to be Rotny every day he ever toured, and why he can shrug people off so easily like he does. I learned that today because for the first time in all of the time I've worked in my life, a co-worker pretty much verbally abused me, lol. I'm pretty certain what occurred constitutes as verbal abuse in the work place.

It wasn't like... the stupid, petty kind. The one where people go "omghad she rolled her eyes at me and said I suck," no. She was hostile, aggressive, and shouting- like loud, heated fighting voice, on the floor of my work place, in front of a customer at the window, and in front of another co-worker completely dumbfounded at what he was seeing. Only, like Rotny describes to me as he did, I stood there defiant and in a neutral speaking tone kept repeating- "Don't treat me bad because you're angry." "You're projecting on me."

"What would Rotny do" is something I try to live by. He's extremely diplomatic and non-reactive.

This was kind of eye opening for me because now I understand why Rotny would say "he started throwing punches at me, and I just looked at him and said he was stupid and walked away." or the ever mysterious Just smile and Nod rout that he would always talk about dealing with a belligerent person. I never understood how he was able to do it, until today.

It's almost like I got a new skill. I should probably go to Rotny about it so he can train me.

It was addressed in a way that would silence the tension temporarily. I sought advice, and was told to go the most basic rout of simply ignoring the person and to remain apart from one another. It was easy to comply, and the morning went quickly as I joked with my other co-workers, and was asked to stay later again because someone went home sick. :DDD I was as happy as can be! All laughs and smiles, and customers were especially nice today ^-^

The ignoring part is all well and dandy, and perhaps hoping their steam cools off in a few days is a good way of avoiding potential meltdowns. However, it doesn't take away from what the person did to me and I will seek to have this handled properly, even if I have to go to corporate. The thing is, you don't just let someone coming towards you screaming things go off the hook and hope everything gets better. Not a lot of people get paid to be treated that way by someone. It wasn't even a superior. That's not to say that a superior can do that, but at least that might make more sense. It's okay to not like me, but just don't charge at me like you're going to hit me, and we'll be fine. haha

I have even taken the steps to try to rectify the situation beforehand, but this person was not interested in doing that. It was evident that they had zero intention of retaining their professionalism when we both showed up simultaneously to open, and stood at the corner outside of the building, several feet away, back facing me with arms crossed.

That's what started this. They were taking their frustration out on something and caused it to burst open. I told them "Hey I know you're upset, but please try not to take your anger out on stuff at work."

BOOM.

I have to say, I almost feel pity for this person more than anything else, because they probably go home and cry, and regret a lot of things. Still, this doesn't make the abusive, elitist backlash acceptable. I've also watched this person go off on several other of my co-workers, and it's almost saddening.

I guess I am just happy to be able to say that despite what happened this morning, I have a nice, stable home to come to. My boyfriend is here, my computer is here, I don't think I'm ugly, I'm young, and I will never be like this person, and that to me is reason enough to be able to smile in their presence.

I will never be like them, or feel the need to treat my co-workers badly like that even if I don't like them. ^-^v And that's awesome!

I thank this person for being an example of how to not to be :)

You've changed my perspective of things, and made me a better person. 

THANK YOU! <3 

Also, Rift has a new patch that came out. And it's awesome!! 

Suicide Bridge

Our visitation there had zero connection to this, and was planned before I knew. Rot, being the uber goth that he is, thought it would be romantic to take us there for a stroll. 

Out of respect for my friend, who yesterday found out her best friend took her own life, this post will have to wait. If you'd like more information about this land mark:

Pasadena Colorodo Street Bridge; AKA The Suicide Bridge

BURN

Yesterday morning after work I came home and made more charms. Nothing custom, just whatever. I FRICKIN BURNED THEM. They were so cute :(
I put them in at 300 degrees, I don't even know why I set it that high. Normally I do it around 275 or a little less. They all came out brown. Some were cracked. Huge bummer. That's clay, time, and findings I'm not getting back. -_-
Only two were salvageable. They've been painted but I don't like painting if I don't have to. It doesn't look even. Or maybe I just paint like shit, who knows. They might look better if I finish them.

One of the casualties. :(

Yes, it's the Ocarina from the Zelda game.

I was gonna paint it and glaze it all nice and stuff and ugh. :(

I'd show the others, but they're really ugly.

I had a revelation thing today. This morning there were several rude, bitter customers I encountered. It made me wonder if the way I saw them (mad at something in their own lives and projecting onto me) is the way people I care about see me. Suddenly my perspective of things changed kinda. I never want to be like ever, or have anyone ever think of me that way. It never used to matter, until I noted my own emotions in reaction to how I was treated for no reason. Changes things.

Other than that, work was fun. I got asked to stay later XD
It was cool though, I don't mind helping. The constant joking about it by my peers makes it less annoying, hehe.

Also, Rot texted me today saying he wanted us to go somewhere special tomorrow! It's in Pasadena and apparently haunted. He said we'd even have lunch there. I can't wait!

Now it's time for this. But pretend it's night time instead of morning time.

While watching The Orphanage and snuggling with a Rotten Peempurs. :3

SQUEE

So yesterday I made this ADORABLE little guy. 

He is a Drider.

Now Squiggles the Mindflayer has a friend to play with!

I didn't put an eye pin in him because I'm going to create themed sets, and he's the start of this one. 

Also I made a Cthulhu dude for that themed set.

I gave him kitty ears. Because I can.

There's gonna be a lot of stuff in this set. I can't wait.

I think the most challenging thing about making the Drider was getting his actual skin color right.

Driders are half Drow/Spider, and Drow skin is described as black. BUT, in illustrations, their skin isn't like... zero color whatsoever black. It's super dark, grey with slight brown and purple undertone, almost black- black. So that was a fun trial and error thing. I think I got it and am confident that I can replicate it. 

It makes me think about Drow cosplayers. 

They'll buy straight up BLACK body paint and use that- it never looks right.

I wonder if my gloopey stuff arrived in the mail yet.

EW

Will she finally go to Michael's, or will she just pay for shipping fees off Ebay? 

STAY TUNED

 

Why do blacks fade so quickly?

 I dyed some of my tops and didn't rinse them out completely... then threw them in the washer with the rest of my black stuff and hoped for the best. From what I could see, the dye has bled into once not-grey undergarments. Score!

I didn't do it on the carpet this time. :DDD

Josh learned how to play the Drizzt game the other night, so we were able to play an adventure, all 3 of us. It was fuuunnnn. I can't wait to move on to the next one. 

Also, earlier today I stopped in to my work to pick up and drop off something for/from co-workers. DnD guy was there and told me about his game last night. It sounded exciting. At one point, they encountered a Drow and decided to interrogate him. It wasn't fruitful. Boy Drow are used to being tortured because girl Drow are malicious and dominant in their society. He said they eventually killed him, though. :(

Drow are mean, but I always feel bad for the boys. The female Drow are cruel, merciless and prideful. The boys tread lightly, or they'll get their dicks sliced off with a snake whip-- for the most part.

The start of the second Adventure. Rot and I already completed it, but we played again so Josh could catch up. :)

Close to the end, trying to kill the Boss. That Goblin was annoying.

Oh, and I went to Michael's. I think the drive to get there was worse than the actual shopping experience. I planned it so that I went during normal work hours in hopes that it'd be less crowded. 

Also, I predicted that the x acto knife I wanted would be more expensive... it was! Twice as much as I found it on Ebay. They also didn't have the other goopey stuff I was looking for. Good thing I already ordered it :D

Investments are blegh.

Ugh..

Feels way more organized. I needed one of those mat things and wire cutters for a looooong time. Bare computer desk... not good.

I'm really glad though. There's still more I wanna get in order to be able to make a billion a day like nothing, but this is a start. YAY ARTSY THINGS :D

Just kidding

I kept telling myself that today I would finally go to Michael's for supplies. I wrote it down, 'tweeted' it, and talked about it to get myself amped up for the trek over there. I even reminded myself that there's a Sharky's restaurant nearby, and that I could grab a burrito on my way back.

I came home, pondered it some more, and fell asleep.

It also had to do with how tired I felt from this morning. Maybe it was the crash one gets after consuming coffee. Whatever it was, my soy, caramel misto wasn't doing jack shit to stimulate my 'stay awake' functions. Chris was sweet and let me go home on time, haha. I told him I could stay later if it was needed -- someone was sent home-- but he joked about how much I get asked to stay later, thus... the joke of letting me go home on time was born.

ohmighadwerebessfraans

Kristof came over and hung out yesterday. He and Rot wrote up a contract for band stuff. It was already announced, but Rot is officially writing guitars for Dawn of Ashes. I had the super fun job of proof-reading the contract and witnessing the written agreement. The jokes that were made about professionalism can only be imagined by you, my dear viewers, for it would be incredibly lame of me to actually go into detail over... BUT I'M SURE YOU CAN IMAGINE

Unless you actually ever received your P9 merch, and are okay with enabling, then you wouldn't understand.

I keep flirting with the idea of using my Etsy account as a means of selling charms outside of my work. It's complicated though.

• I'll feel overwhelmed with orders
• I'm horrified of left turns because I grew up in the East coast and never had a reason to be an aggressive driver until I moved to L.A.
• There are two of them on the way to the post office. One with a light, and one just before a major light, but I can't go straight-- dead end. Must turn left or right. BUT I have to turn left through 2 left turning lanes, and 2 oncoming traffic lanes to pull into the parking lot's Enter here part, which is more complicated to get to than the Exit Only part. NO.
• I don't know where anything is in there, and I never wanna be "that guy" at the post office. It's too quiet, and I'll stand out even more. no. no no no. never. can't do it. won't.
• I'd mail out from here, but we have no outgoing thing, and I don't have faith in the people that live on my street enough for me to just leave packages there for the post man to get without someone stealing it.

That reminds me, today some guy in the drive through pulled up to the window and immediately said "I forgot my wallet, but I'm just gonna take the drink and come back later to pay for it."
Number 1... who the FUCK goes anywhere without their wallet, let alone DRIVE without your proper identification?
Now do you see why I hate driving here?
Number 2... FUCK YOU
Instantly, I was turned off at how he just expected that courtesy. He was abrasive in his demeanor, and I wanted to tell him to fuck off. I was in the wrong though, the whole time.
Apparently he does this OFTEN, because when I went to verify that I could do this for Mr. I always get what I want because I'm a pushy dick, I was told to just give it to him and to have faith in people.
When I did, he asked who said it was okay, I told him, and he was like okay, yeah...yeah. Thanks. and drove off. Also, my co-worker overheard and then said "he's so cheap, he always does that."

I'm glad to know we're enabling this shit and creating our own monsters. I'm wondering if he came back to pay for his drink. I digress.

• There are fees. As if that website doesn't have overpriced crap on it already, why in the world world--- just. whatever. Ugh... indie stuff agitates me. It shouldn't, because I'm part of it. But it just does.

Little Cynthia is all kinds of messed up. Not really, I'm being dramatic. But I do see things in a different way that other people find hilarious, stupid, and malfunctioning. Not sure about the last two, but if I knew me, and was my friend, I'd be like "dude you're so broken right now, it's hilarious. The stamps are right there." And I'd be like OH ME, YOU'RE SUCH AN OBSERVANT SHIT and then we'd hug and go get Taco Bell. And then I'd go home and watch Sex and the City and cry or something.

You see these fantasies I come up with?

That's Aaron being pregnant in maternity gear. I say "gear" because it's less ball crushing than not calling it "gear."

ISN'T THAT CUTE?!

NEXT UP TONIGHT: GREEN CHILDREN BORN OF MEN.. AND ALIEN RAPE?

ONLY ON DISCOVERY

Teen: "Our dad is a rapist. He's somehow kidnapped and impregnated about 5 men. Her mom's cool with it, though."

Child: "My mommy says it's okay because he is not a missojimist and... she says men need to learn and women should be daddies, too."

Unit 731

I finally got around to cleaning and painting to storage thing I scavenged after 3 of the tenants here moved out. It's cuuuuuuuuuuute ^-^

We have company, and I'm currently working on a more complicated commission. Trying to figure out how this is gonna work is more challenging than I anticipated. Creativity feels like a chore sometimes.

Kristof and Rot are being little girls in the living room together. Some of the stuff being said is making me giggle. However, it looks like our next adventure will have to wait until later. But this time, I have my own 20 sided die. It matches my computer.
 I was hoping to just suck it up and go to Michael's today to grab some supplies... but I'm too blhfhelasdafjlksdfjf.... =\ I don't wanna go alone. Ebay and Amazon are so much easier, but it's more expensive because I have to pay for the shipping. Stupid shipping fees. :(

I have goosebumps. The A/C is on and blowing directly above me.

I found this cute site with lots of adorable Japanese stuff, but then I remembered the movie "Men behind the sun" because there was a charm necklace with a cute little red Sun on it, and then my face went like this D:
Don't watch it. Unless you could stomach Cannibal Holocaust (if you can, I hate you and don't talk to me) then go for it.
It's about the atrocities that were performed in Unit 731 by the Japanese in WWII. PROBABLY more gross than the Holocaust. Japan is butthurt and denies it. BASICALLY, Japan had some secret base thing in China (they burned it down several years later to destroy evidence) and were doing medical experiments on people for biological warfare.
But like... seriously fucked up experiments.
like... we can't let anyone know and will deny everything until we sink into the ocean fucked up.
I've read a lot about it, and have seen several documentaries. Not so kawaii :(

BUT THAT'S OKAY, THEY HAVE ANIME ^-^v
Just kidding. I can't harbor any bias for what happened a long time ago, but it is pretty like... whoa.
Good job Germany and Japan. You are both horrifying. <3 Cute at shit, though!

Yay documentaries! (In case you'd like some more brain wrinkles)

 KNOWLEDGE IS POWER :D

Work was fun today. I was asked to stay later, again. Haha, I'm beginning to just expect that this is gonna happen no matter what!
Also, a co-worker and I were having a nice discussion about things. I value this persons' insight, shockingly. 

 WEIRD

Also, a Sim I have of my friend Aaron was abducted by aliens and raped, and impregnated. He gave birth to a girl. That's right. Aaron did.

You like your girls insane

There are new South Park episodes on Netflix that are destroying me, they're so good.

Earlier today, I was thinking about The Red Shirt guy for some reason. it led me to look up Asperger's Syndrome and watch videos on it, since he has it. I knew that people and kids with AS were basically me, but encyclopedia versions, but fell in love with the idea of having a kid of my own with AS. I feel like I'd identify with baby a lot, and understanding like all of their symptons, I'd be able to be like.. hey. It's all good, son or daughter. Let's go play RISK because you're the best son or daughter in the world, and you're only 4 and would kick my ass. And then we could have Discovery channel nights on Fridays, and Gaming time after school 3 hours a day 3 days a week. More if you can get your homework done in 8 seconds instead of 13. It'd have the cutest library card, and their own library and custom computer. And I'd teach it to manifest it's knowledge in his confidence so all the ladies will be like OH MY GHAD, YOU'RE SO FLY. But he'd be like nope.

A gal can dream. Actually, I'd do that for my kid whether it has AS or not -- but with the latter, it's a 50/50. HEY. WE ALL HAVE PREFERENCES.

I'm defective.

Also, I came up with this new little series thing for my charms. Once I'm done with commissions, I'm gonna make more infant versions of stuff. I have one already that I made and am totally in love with.

I don't think anyone else sees Star Wars the way I do, thus... off-putting, ugly, Jabba the Hutt in baby form for me to love and cradle.
I don't know that this is what Hutt babies look like, but I would imagine it something like this, being that they're basically slugs.

So then.. just think of my favorite characters.. but in cute baby form. INORITE!?
I'm gonna have to invest in more tools, since the stuff I have right now isn't as helpful as I thought it could be. I also am running out of my more common colors of clay, and room to put it. DAMN YOU, ARTS AND CRAFTS. Y U NO CHEAPER? There's a pink x acto knife and crafts mat that I have my eye on. Once I deposit stuff tomorrow, maybe I'll be able to get them.

Rot and I are gonna do it tonight. And by do it, I mean finally start our Drizzt game.

Here's an illustration of a female Illithid because omg. Why not me

Door

I slept 15 hours. I think that's a new record for me. I passed out yesterday at like 7:15 and finally woke up around 10 and got out of bed. VICTORY

Black contacts!

Rot is more or less annoyed by my declined mood levels.
I try to remind him that instead of reacting like I am, I could always do what "normal" people do and drink myself into an annoying stupor every night, then do stupid shit I'll regret and hope he forgives me for.
It doesn't seem to affect him, but it makes me feel better knowing I have self control. I also have Sex and the City to thank.
I figure though that being drunk all the time and sleeping your days away is similar in the way that you aren't dealing with your emotions overwhelming you... except sleeping has the potential to put you in your own subconscious fairy tale for a few hours, and depressed drunk people are just offensive.

Also, I've been wanting to play my game, but there are other things postponing it. Not only that, but I assumed he'd for some reason prioritize it. Which was a total girlfriend move of me to do. Also, I wanna use the kitchen table but... I'm probably gonna set up in my room and just do the solo campaign.
Basically, I just wanna be left alone, but with someone I like, playing the game. Does that make sense?

Downloading the Tera trial!
It's supposed to be super cool because the combat system is different. We'll see about that.

Will I impress Cynth, or am I just another grindy, azn, graphics nazi, MMO clone?

Also, I read today that SWTOR is considering a Free-to-Play option.

Ill Skillz

"I see you're still a bit of an attention whore 

                                                                                                                   I mean that in the most endearing way possible."

My old clan mate from old school Counter Strike: Source days emailed me today out of nowhere after several years.

He's probably one of the biggest assholes I've ever known in my life. I absolutely love that he thought of me after all these years! Ah, Ill Skillz... those were some good times in the _Office map. Yay! We'll always be cool. <3


Also, Rot and I have spoiled ourselves rotten. I got myself the Legend of Drizzt table top game and Rot bought parts to assemble a new computer. My mini charm business has been helpful with paying for stupid things like gas and groceries. It's helped me a lot more than I expected. I'm thankful for it, really.

My two favorite pieces OF COURSE! 

Literally my work.

  

Rot is stoked. That processor came out like a month ago.

 

     

Also this.
This is the cutest lip stain ever. It's the fcking likeness of a vial of blood. SO KAWAII

what it looks like.

 ^____^ squee!

If time and $$ allows, maybe I'll make a trip up to San Fran to visit Nrgetik while he's there. It's so good to hear from him! He's invited me to go hiking up at Mendocino National Forest. And it will also give me the opportunity to visit Jenny! We'll see. It's not for a few months, so I'm sure if I budget for it, it could happen. Just a matter of making that 6 hour drive by myself AND making sure that Rot would be okay with it. Oh man... hiking sounds like so much fun!!! I hope I hope I hope! :D

Patience is a virtue

I don't think in all my time with my company (even before I was fired) have I ever reacted the way I did today on my co-workers. I felt like I was about to explode if one more thing was slammed right next to me. So I basically said This is your bullshit, it's bleeding into my work, keep it off the floor. I think it was a reasonable, justified reaction. However the execution may have been more flawed than I wanted.
Work has been all sorts of interesting in both negative and positive ways. I keep getting asked to stay later because there's been a trend of just not showing up for work, and my location is too hxc to be short staffed. We'll get shot from the AK-47s that our customer's vocal cords will turn into if we don't meet their expectations in 8 seconds.
Also, there are unhappy people projecting their negativity. It's affecting others, like myself.

The positive side of it is I'm having fun. I like most of my co-workers and with the exception of today, work isn't so bad. I find comfort knowing there are others there who are on the same page as me. Same paragraph, even.

I don't like to write about work, but today was just really special. Not only that, but one of my co-workers texted me last night and made me a little concerned. In retrospect, they may probably just have been drunk. Not sure, but ugh. Sometimes, I think this person is a closeted goth-- which would explain why I like them so much. I avoid eye contact. There's a strange, unsettling feeling when we do.

Boring entry is boring. Elena and Kristoff came over yesterday. I think they suit each other well.

The last one is the HRC logo for my favorite 'mo at work. He's a Bear. So I added the bear ears for endearment. I've dubbed him Mama Bear.

I ordered this off of Amazon. And I can't express enough how batshit excited I am to start playing it with Rotny. It'll be like a romantic dinner and a movie, except it's nothing close to that and actually better, and hotter.

213 Questions

1-How are you?

Full, rejuvenated, pensive

2-Post a picture of yourself.

3-Do you ever wish you were someone else?

No way. I <3 being me

4-What is your entire name?

Eeeewww.. well, my middle name is Belèn. 

5-How old are you?

24th level Minority

6-Age you get mistaken for:

19. Can't complain

7-Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality:

I am a Virgo. Generally accurate except for the OCD stuff. Just don't touch my computer.

8-What did you do on your last birthday?

I can't recall. 

9-What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?

My WoW dances videos.

10-What is your hair color?

Naturally dark brown.

11-Have you ever dyed your hair?

It's dyed black with pastel bangs.

12-What is your eye color?

Shit

13-If you could change your eye color, would you?

I'd like grey.

14-Do you wear contacts/glasses?

I used to -- lasik eye surgery ftw. Lazers and shit!

18-Do you have any tattoos?

Nope.

19-Do you have any piercings?

Yessum.

20-Left or right handed?

Righty

21-What’s your sexual orientation?

My chromosomes are fine, thank you.

22-Do you drink?

Around trusted company

23-Do you smoke?

Nope.

24-Do you have any pets?

My computer.

25-Where do you work?

In Los Angeles.

26-Something you are working on right now:

Commission orders for co-workers

27-Do you have any “rules” about food?

It has to taste good.

28-Where are you from?

South America

29-What would you say is your best quality?

I like that I can make my friends laugh. Physically, I like my legs and my hands.

30-What do you think you’re really good at?

Apparently sculpting

31-What do you think you’re really bad at?

People skills

33-Are you a bad person?

Not at all. Simply a little jaded.

34-Are you nice to everyone?

I can be if they deserve it.

36-Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?

Yep.

37-What is your ideal bed? Why?

Fluffy with fluffier pillow top, fluffy pillows, satin sheets and fluffy comforter. So I don't wake up as pissed when I'm disturbed during an awesome dream.

38-Did you wake up cranky?

Doubtful

39-Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?

Nope. I sleep with a Rotny.

40-What do you think about the most?

Ugh. Lately, it's not important.

42-What you want to be when you “get older”?

I think it'd be sweet to work at a library with a cafe.

43-What are your career goals?

At this point, since my 'goals' have never been concrete, as long as I have a retirement plan, I'm fine.

44-What is your ideal career?

I'd love to be a phlebotomist or a mortician. But in a nice, clean, area.

45-Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Sort of.

46-Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Sometimes.

47-Have you ever had an imaginary friend?

Michael, inspired by Drop Dead Fred.

48-Say 10 facts about your room:

Sanctuary

My work area

Gaming area

There are swords

Candles

My own bathroom

I hate leaving it 

I dream the best dreams here

"Where the magic happens" - every celebrity on MTV Cribs

There's a large bookcase:

There are more shelves, but I got lazy.

49-Do you have any phobias?

Syringes + getting shots, large crowds in daylight make me uncomfortable

50-Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?

When I was younger

51-Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?

Bees, if I remember correctly.

52-Ever broken any bones?

Nope.

53-Ever come close to death?

I don't think so.

60-Do you have a facebook? If so, would you add the person who sent you this?

Yes, and no.

61-Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

Yep.

62-Describe yourself in one word/sentence:

Aloof

Tired and uninterested in superficial relationships, the girl has become jaded and cynical.

63-A quote you try to live by:

Try-- "Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it."

64-A famous person you’ve been compared to:

Ugh.

65-Weird things you do when you’re alone:

A lot of Society thinks I am weird, period. By that logic, sitting in my room on a Saturday night is sufficient.

66-Something you do without realising:

Become extremely focused in my work. Patronize / become condescending

68-Someone you’d like to be for a day and why:

 Dana Scully. DUH

69-Leave me a compliment:

Grats

 

Favorites

70-What is your favorite thing to do?

Computer things

71-What’s your favorite color?

Olive and Lilac

73-What’s your favorite movie?

I could watch Memoirs of a Geisha, The Piano, Dirty Dancing, and V for Vendetta forever.

74-What are your favorite books?

I like the dark fantasy stuff and erotica.

75-What is your favorite quote and why?

"We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." Howard P. Lovecraft

He's saying humans are retarded for thinking we're hot shit and one day it's gonna bite us in the ass really. really hard.

76-What is your favorite word?

Pensive. It has "penis" in it, but is also indicative of less primitive notions like... thinking! Two birds, one stone kinda thing.

77-What is your least favorite word?

I can't think of one at the moment.

78-What is your favorite type of food?

All of the foreign foods, please.

79-You favorite ice cream?

Green tea

80-What’s your favorite animal?

Cuttlefish

81-Dogs or cats?

Cats

82-Describe your favourite texture:

Rubbery stuff and warm latex

83-What is your favorite flower?

Not sure what they're called, but they look like bells. 

84-What’s your favourite scent? And on the opposite sex?

Sweet stuff. Cinnamon, cotton candy, vanilla, plumeria. Pheromones.

 

85-What is your favorite season?

Spring

86-What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die?

Barcelona, Venice, Tokyo, Cairo, The Shire

87-What are four things you can’t live without and why?

My rig - Duh

My phone - It's a miniature version of my rig

My make up - I'm ugly without it

My job - $$ and food

88-Which mythological creature are you most like? Why?

Sphynx. Guess.

89-What’s your favorite television show?

King of the Hill and Family Guy are tied.

90-Favorite place to shop at?

Home.

91-Say 2 facts about your favorite things:

Requires internet connection. 

Makes other people think I'm a loser.

Friends

106-Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Very, very awkwardly.

107-Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Sane, mature persons, preferably. 

108-Who is someone you never tire of?

Peggy Hill

109-Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

Yep.

110-Who is your most loyal friend?

Mom

111-Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

Yep.

112-If your best friend died, what would you do?

Be mournful.

113-Something you’ve lied about.

Work.

114-Have you ever felt replaced?

Yep.

115-Say 5 facts about your bestfriend(s):

They are not easily offended.

They are incredibly understanding.

They push my social buttons, and for some reason I enjoy tolerating it.

They are intelligent.

They are few.

 

Relationships

116-The last person you hugged?

Probably someone from work. I quite enjoy hugs.

117-Story of your first kiss?

I was seven. We were all playing a hybrid game of Jurassic Park and Hide and Seek in our apartment complexes with my neighors' cousins and friends. I went back to my apartment, into my room followed by one of my neighbor's cousins to find my 'walkie talkie' (which was a polly pocket toy). I really liked him. That's when he (9) came up close to me. We looked at each other for a few seconds and kissed. My grandma saw us and we ran back outside to safety where the dinosaurs couldn't reach us.

118-Do you like kissing in public?

Not really. Just smooches here and there, but ugh. No.

119-Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

NEVER.

120-You have a preference for boys or girls?

Geek. Intelligent. Eloquent. Cynical. Witty.

121-Is the male or female body closest to perfection?

Female.

127-What is the first thing you noticed in someone?

In someone I like, apparently whether or not they are a gamer. Digital or pen & paper.

128-Are looks important in a relationship?

To a degree, yes. My mate is a representation of me.

129-What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Modified body aesthetics.

130-What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

Clearly, I don't give a shit.

131-Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

I would date someone off of the Internet from a game-- oh look at that, I did.

 

133-Do you have a crush on anyone?

Sure.

134-A description of the girl/boy you like:

Unattainable.

135-Say 1 fact about the person you like:

We're similar.

136-If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Grats

137-When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Couple days ago.

138-Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Other than my boyfriend? Sadly, yes.

139-Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

 As I am typing this? Potentially.

140-Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Yep.

141-Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yep.

142-Anyone you’re giving up on?

Sure.

143-Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yep.

144-Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Probably?

145-Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

No.

146-Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yep.

147-Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Not everything, but a lot. Yes.

148-Is there someone you will never forget?

Undoubtedly. 

153-What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

There are too many to list. Tonight, as I was walking past Rotny headed towards the door to check the mail, he stopped me in my tracks trying to get my attention by playing "More than words" by Xtreme on his guitar. 

154-What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Take me to the Renaissance Faire.

157-Are you in love?

Yep.

158-Are you in a relationship?

Yep.

159-If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

We're similar.

160-Are relationships ever worth it?

Yep.

161-Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Maybe not mad, but upset. 

162-Can you commit to one person?

Am.

163-Do you think you can last in a relationship for 8 months and not cheat?

Oh, honey.

164-Do you ever want to get married?

Tax breaks would be nice.

165-Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Not sure.

167-Do you get jealous easily?

Not anymore. After the first few years, you just stop caring.

168-The last time you felt jealous, and why?

This chick tried to meet up with Rotny at his work. I saw the message and called her out. Unsettling.

169-What is your definition of cheating?

Physical stuff.

170-Have you ever been cheated on?

Probably.

171-Do you forgive betrayal?

Not easily.

172-Have you ever cheated on someone?

Yep. Obsessive and clingy is.. go away.

173-Why did your last relationship fail?

He was moving back to Atlanta.

174-Things you want to say to an ex:

Hay buddy, hope you're doing good!

175-A description of the person you dislike the most:

Unworthy.

176-If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

Sure, considering he's my best friend.

177-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Single digits.

178-How long was your longest relationship?

It's been over 4 and a half years.

179-You’ll love me if…

You make me realize that I shouldn't ever even want to say things like "you'll love me if..."

180-Share a relationship story:

Rotny and I met at his band's show. We talked about World of Warcraft. He liked me lots. I rerolled a new character on his server. We played together every day for over a year. I moved out to San Francisco. Lived together. Grew together. Gothed up together. Gamed together. Moved to LA 3 years ago. Tadaaaa..

Music, movies and books

181-How often do you listen to music?

Hardly ever. I'm always watching Netflix.

182-What kind of music you like?

I prefer dancy 80's gothy rocky stuff. Or just pretty much 80's anything. However, I'm pretty eclectic with music taste.

183-Do you like to dance?

Yep.

185-Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

Yep.

186-Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past:

Anna Lisa - Prozzak

187-A song that’s been stuck in your head:

Carribean Queen - Billy Ocean 

Dust in the Wind - Kansas

188-Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play:

I don't have one.

189-A book you want to read/have recently read:

I want to read Ju-On.

190-Describe your dream library:

I have it.

191-Last movie you just watched:

FernGully. I had to stop it because no.

192-You like watching what type of movies?

 Psychological thrillers, visually capturing dramas, Asian horror, dry humor comedies

Situations and crazy things

193-You’re in a tattoo parlor about to get inked. What are you getting done?

Not telling.

194-What’s something you can see yourself going to jail for?

Killing spree.

195-If you could be any character, from any literary work, who would you choose to be?

I would be a Drow priestess for House Baenre in Menzoberranzan. UGH

196-You’re given $10,000…under one condition: you cannot keep the money for yourself. Who would you give it to? 

My parents.

197-If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

Nothing. I like where I am today.

198-If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why?

Xenon. Looks and sounds cool. Unreactive. Spacecraft power.

199-If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

being 6 because I don't remember it.

200-You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?

Morning star. "YOU'RE A DICK"

201-If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like?

5 minute roller coaster through H.P Lovecraft's dreams.

202-What is the first curse word that comes to mind?

Shit

203-What the last party you went to was… and when the next will be…

I guess Dim Sum. It was for someone's birthday. Not sure.

204-Halloween costume idea?

Not telling.

205-How you’d spend ten thousand bucks?

Down payment on a house.

206-Press ctrl+v and post:

We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.

207-Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with someone you love for ten years or someone you hate for a month? Explain why.  

Someone I hate for a month. People change and 10 years is a long time. And I'd miss my computer too much.

208-5 things within touching distance:

Sunscreen, keyboard & mouse, Starbucks drink, notes, dresser

209-A drunken story:

Golden Gods Awards in like 2009. I kept saying "I'm off my equilibrium..." and looking around like a frightened prairie dog. Also stumbling to the car. That's it.

210-What are you supposed to be doing right now?

I told Rot I'd log onto Rift, but I was hungry, came back to my room, sat down, and did this instead.

211-Currently wanting to see anyone?

Sure.

212-Why you follow me?

Dunno.

213-If you met me what would you do?

Politely say hello and continue on with my day.