Better

  Ho ho ho!

    I'm trying to brace myself for this. It gon be a lil biggie. Grab some tea, or coffee, or hot choccy. And if you're literate, and wanna join me through this monstrosity, first of all thanks, and also, WOO. Here we go :D

Merry Christmas!

It's been almost a year since anything's been deposited into this; my precious therapy. See, that's probably why I used up all of my allotted meltdowns for the remainder of this year. Most of which were used up for school, but hey that's life. Which is so ironically comforting, considering I study death and its ripple effects in our society. ISN'T THAT JUST. SO. FUNNY? Meldowns behind me, I move forward, equipped with Good Things. Lets kinda look back on some of those.

 

Last Christmas, we traveled to stay with my family. It snowed.

While it would've been nice to go somewhere this year, our 7 hour delay, in the plane, was a nice reminder of how comfortable home is.

There are over a thousand photos probably in this entry alone. I started with close to 7,000 to sort through for the year. I haven't counted exactly how many of those are of our diluted ethanol-based indulgences, but we can make a game of it.

Our year more or less began with modding the cat.

 

That was... a lot. She made sure of it.

She had ripped the plastic cone off in the middle of the night. We had to resort to desperate measures.

 

Her threatening aura was at least aesthetically reduced by probably a couple points.

Anyway, I think... we're adults for real now.

 

Because whisky and poker is a good time. Since when? I'm not sure. I think I just kinda... slowly shifted into this headspace where sitting down and playing games of chance while feeling buzzed with homies is like, calming.

What happened? I don't know. I don't like whisky that much. I mean, I can appreciate it like any other crafted beverage. Gimme 5 different whiskys to sample; my enthusiasm won't betray me. I think this is what the elders refer to as... "Better." Right? Like, you hear "it gets better" for so long, and without realizing it, things just start to turn into that. We're in the Better. This was how 2022 began for us.

And I'm here to swear to you that despite some of the most debilitating stress I've felt in my life this past year, Better was a constant. It had to be. I love that poker picture. It symbolizes a lot. 

MOVING ALONG

Earlier this year, Mr. Chicken's work spoiled us again with another magical night.

AT DISNEYLAND :D

 

"Again?" you might say. To that I say, yes! It's MAGICAL. It was also the first time we were able to experience Estar Guars land. Simply put, we refused to see it under normal circumstances. Sounds kinda shitty and arrogant but... Look. When it was still kinda new? In the day time? With a crowded park? And reservations? And those lines? Ahaaaaa, noooe..

Not gonna lie, was pretty cool in a superficial way, as a crotchety SW fan to see Disney go full tilt on SW stuff. A part of me was revolted because I'm old and too easily fall into resisting change, and yet another part of me, probably my inner teenager, was elated- drunk with euphoria.

*One sec, while I nibble on this most yummy snickerdoodle chocolate. Compliments to our friend Monique!

Resuming.
The park was ours again for a few hours of blissful geeking tf out.

Disneyland, in my not-discreetly-biased opinion, is best experienced after sundown when the sun can no longer blast its loud heat and offensive rays all over the beautiful hum of glowing appliques of light against the sky's night.

Not gonna lie.... some early mornings are pleasant, though. It's the afternoons that need to calm down.

Anyway, we went straight to see what we needed to see.

It was like... real. My stomach was in knots. Blue milk?!?! I ONLY EVER HEARD OF THAT, BUT NEVER BEFORE TRIED IT MESELF.

It was good. But lets be real here, guys. An eopie would never lactate a slushie. Do you know what kind of shit has to be going on inside its breast tissue to even maintain the temperature needed for this kind of texture? It doesn't make sense.

That aside, all things considered (like, reality) it was pleasant. And my inner fan girl was appreciative that it was even a thing. Except... there were bantha advertised instead of eopie. It must be from a new species of bantha.

Lookin like he about to tell someone how much he loves dem dere french fry pertaters.

We had turkey legs. We rejoiced.

We geeked tf out.

Except for Homdray. He's partial to Star Trek.

I WAS SO HAPPY OH MY GOD

While we wanted to go on the other ride, it broke down. Still magical. It's not a proper Disney trip without a ride you wanna go on being broken down. That's part of the magic.

I was only kinda let down, but not surprised, over how there wasn't really any merch or mention of the sarlacc - except for the model here. Sarlaccs have gotta be one of the most well-known and recognized creatures in the SW universe. Ah, well.

There are several diagrams of sarlacc anatomy out there in the interwebs if you look for em. The most detailed one is out of an encyclopedia. If I weren't so chickenshit regarding tattoos, I'd get an anatomical sarlacc diagram somewhere.

And yes, I was excited to see that Disney didn't discount too much of that scene in the Boba Fett series. I thought they were gonna recot stuff, but a lot of that was from the book Tales from Jabba's Palace. Which isn't cannon anymore. I DIGRESS.

This little droid talked to me, resulting in feral squeaks of delight.

Just some nerds nerdin, maaan

A must.

Couldn't end the night without the churro shot.

We left the park in tranquil revere.

Or maybe it was just me. It was probably just me. I fall in love with the lights and ambiance. Every time. The old-timey music down main street. The smells of warm sugar as we pass the shops. The quiet bustle of movement towards the exits; a unified fond farewell of the day. It quiets down. It's nice. I like quiet.

This was also kind of the quiet before mortuary school began for me.

My studies took priority over many pleasures. I'd also recently made the decision to leave my old work and start somewhere else that could facilitate my growth in the industry and school. Best decision yet. I love where I am now.

We made dumplings for Lunar New Year with fam.

I made ingot dumplings for good luck. I like to think that they buffed me, lol.

It was also the last time we'd receive envelopes!

Have some catbox.

There's so much that I've learned over the course of this year.

Like, so much. I can't begin to go into it- I won't. But every day, I'm grateful to wake up. Lets put it that way.

I'm just gonna sprinkle photos of Ophelia all throughout this, please enjoy them!

This was the day that I had to take a professional photo. I remember thinking how much I had to tame my make up so I looked like less of a clown.

To be honest though, dressing down for work has only encouraged me to be lazier with outfits. Like, I try less lol. Mostly to draw less attention to myself. Outside of work, I mean. Like, I rather spend that extra hour on my computer than dolling myself up every day just to go get groceries or something. Idk.

It's nice. Not wanting to try, haha. And being open about it and it not bothering me. Must be Old™ things. I mean, I'll still dress up but it's even more low key. I prefer it.


Valentine's Day:

She's the greatest gift of all *cries, also arm is bleeding probably*

Special occasion or hungry on a Tuesday, Sun Nong Dan always comes through.

Hiiiii.

One of the things that brings me comfort in where I work is this:

I'm so lucky. Would ya look at that? How beautiful. Sigh.

I especially like when we get visitors from the hills.

Oh, not only do I have to dress for work, but school holds us to the same standard.
So 6 days otu fo the week, I basically dress like this.

And would come home, change, and look like this :)

It's okay, though! That's what these weird apps are for! Get rid of the exhaustion and look your best in the cartoon version of yourself!

Mr. Chicken kept me together in between balancing work, school, and life by taking us out to eat. There was thsi one place in a mall that we went to because of this hot pot spot that was supposedly amazing.

Never again :)

This was also the year that we ventured out a little more to do stuff.
Mr. Chicken is a car enthusiast, I've been encouraging him to explore beyond the confines of our home for comforts liken to his interests.

And that's how we came to check out weekly car meets. Specifically for miatas.

One can do so much with them, and that's what makes them so cute. Their mods are seemingly endless. Perhaps one day I'll get one for myself. :3

How cyoooooooo!
And the wrap on this the hard top is kinda extra, but I love it haha.

blep.

Another gem from work.

Some cool stuff about *gestures at stuff that I'm doing* is that there are a lot of events. Our field is in a constant state of growth and expansion. This allows for dozens of seminars and events throughout the year to always continue our development in methodologies. The cool thing though is that... they're legit a good time!

I suck at networking. That's probably my biggest flop... to the typical ... networker type person, I guess? Idk. ANYWAY.
The industry events are cool. I'm gonna make it a point to attend at least one every year.

This past year we went out to eat a loooooot. That's gotta be one of the things that brings me big joy points. So simple. So satisfying.


 


And Mr. Chicken's work sent him a generous holiday gift! It's been really useful.

Useful gifts, fuck yeah.
Ophelia had to make sure it was strong enough to endure her weight.

Routine is comfortable.

Meanwhile, these two photos were where I was mentally for most of the year...

BEHOLD! 

MY ECCHYMOSIS.
Courtesy of a steel casket. I didn't walk into it, if that's what you're wondering. They're pretty big and hard to miss.

Mr. Chicken kept me grounded. It's hard to sit still while studying. I so easily become distracted. His solution is balancing the scales with my most irresistable and palatable presentation.

When I'm emotionally compromised, sushi always brings me back.

I've lost count how many times we went to Sun Nong Dan this year. It's a lot.

In May, I remember having to study for several exams. Our friends rented a cabin. Mr Chicken wanted to go. I wanted him to go. He wanted me to go, too.

Against my better judgement, I came along.

And I brought my stuff to study with!

The cabin was quaint. Really cozy, right in the middle of this little mountain town.

And Smur brought the corgi.

I made them quiz me, and for every answer I got wrong I had to take a shot of whisky.

When they went fishing, I stayed at the cabin with Rennie, put on The Ring and got comfy to study.

One Piece and Rush Hour to prime our souls.

Man, lookit deez bros broin out. D'awww.

This chaotic mf.

Fishing is dangerous D:

Good times. Uno was brutal.

The drive back was serene.
Driving through the mountains holds an almost storybook charm to it.

And because it was also Mr. Chicken's birthday, I surprised him with dinner.

He saw this place on the youtoom. They specialize in wagyu. Was pretty yummy. Having nothing to compare it to renders my perception kinda flawed. However, my first experience was diviiiine. We both enjoyed it. And according to the youtoom, this place is legit. They also have shows sometimes. We missed it that night. 2023 BAYBEEEE.

Another industry thingie!

This time I dragged Mr. Chicken with me.

Orange County Funeral Director's Association was hosting, and a lot of vendors came out. Not to mention the pretty view of the bay.

And swaaaaaaaaaaaag :D

I think he had a good time. I'm not sure if he would wanna go with me again though. We'll see in 2023 ;)


One of my old service directors took me out for pho after our shift one day. I remember that day. We did what we had to and the day felt like it was ours. It was nice out, quiet. And this place was down the road. Was so nice to just sit and connect. She's in another department now, glowing up. But I think back on these moments fondly.

Similarly, I took my friend out to dinner after her shift was over. Same company, but she also works in another department. We're also in the same cohort at school.

There's a lot of comraderie at work. And school. Everyone genuinely wants to support each other. It's amazing. I'm so lucky.

And when we finish an exam, fail or pass, we would all go out to stress eat, lol.

We have our established comforts and safe spaces outside the coziness of home.

I swear we're not alcoholics lol.

Warm tummies and Villainous. I remmber when the next expansion came out, and it had like... Madam Mim, Lotso the bear, and .... that guy from Incredibles. And how messed up Lotso's deck was LOL

Disneyland was a hot spot this past year as well, considering we don't have a pass anymore (or yet!)

It's a much needed get away when school is ripping you a new asshole every other week.
I believe this was over summer intercession. We took the most brutal class imaginable. There was a week that just sucked. Not because of the work invovled, but the content we had to learn.

I'm also realizing that I need to be selfish, too. Like, I used to feel kinda guilty for enjoying things in life. It was a self-deprecating thing, I don't even remember why I felt that way. But especially now... I'm gonna enjoy myself. And I'm never gonna feel bad about it. No one can afford to feel bad about enjoying life. We pay for that with time that we only get once.

Goofy had sex and that's why I wanted to hug him.

No shame.

Back to Estar Guars laaaaand

We found our little group and we push each other to succeed. I'm so grateful for these girls. Someone at work who's already graduated gave me some gold advice when I was going through it.

She said be selfish. Find your support system, hold on to them, and take days off, because the meltdowns will come.

At the end of the night I took em to my favorite spot. There was a couple inside having an argument. I'm not sure what was going on, but we decided to stay because it felt like.... maybe we should.

We weren't trying to be nosey. He started getting kinda angry loud, so we just hung back. We were ready to jump in if hands were thrown lol. Eventually she walked off and he went after her.

Back home, Mr. Chicken bought Ophelia her own building so she could start her own business.

Her shop now is down the hall. Gotta be careful when you walk by, otherwise she'll borrow some blood from your ankles.

We escaped to Vegas for a lil bit. That was fun.

Got discriminated against in Louis Vuitton a lil bit. That was fun.

Impromptu pool hall fun timesies!

I am shit at pool, but have improved!

We got an opportunity, we as in myself and some of the girls in my cohort, to visit the headquarters of an industry pioneer. Latino brought up in East L.A., grew up with racism in the 70s in ways we couldn't even handle today, and made a name for himself. Dude is an icon. This is his legacy. 1800Autopsy.

I know this artiiiiiiiissst! Eric Pigors!
Wholesome, soft spoken, really nice dude. He used to work for Disney, then went and did his own thing. @toxictoons

Forgive me for doing the same pose in every photograph, I was too excited to think.

So these rooms are basically just sets that he rents out for shows.

Who doesn't love all of Da Vinci's medical illustrations uwu

And this is also a set that has been used for shows like House and Bones. Two of my favorites lol. I wonder if the creator of Mortuary Assistant contacted V and asked for consulting. He works as a consultant for just about everything ever, in addition to serving the community. It wouldn't surprise me if that was a thing.

He also used to make casket couches, but Winnie the Pooh caught wind of it and started manufacturing cheapie ones and selling them online. Now he only does em once every blue moon.

Was an amazing, eye-opening opportunity. We have a lot of work to do still, but there's so much love going into what we do. I'm so damn proud of our industry. Like. I don't know how else to say it. It's brutal but I'm so proud.

MOVING ALONG.

Just some bros broin

We touched grass at Anime Expo this year.

Hadn't been since before lockdown. Was cool. The vibes are different, but das cool.

And July means that Halloween stuff starts to come out in Home Goods stores. Slowly, I succumbed to darkness.

Thankfully, the cat is around to remind me how trivial Halloween spending is with her sobering ritual of destruction. But I couldn't stop.

This year though, I didn't go as crazy. Just a lil bit. I got less decorational stuff and more usable things.

One of these is Ophelia's very first toy after taking her in.

She purdy.

SIL's kiddo drew this for us of our wedding (before it happened).
IT WENT JUST LIKE THIS.
We'll never know how she knew.

As the wedding date grew closer, my stress grew to measures I didn't know were even fathomable. Assignments, quizzes, tests, with tons of material to cram in between.

By this point, we had finally gotten a venue, but it wasn't without its own oh shit moments. I'll just say that Mr. Chicken and our families are angels.
We didn't get a wedding planner. I'm not great at organizing anything, because I forget everything and also suck at writing things down. I'm also a visual learner.
Mr. Chicken is a great organizer, but wedding planning is a monster of its own, and figuring out what we needed to do for a wedding was a shitshow. I don't recommend it. I mean, I also still wouldn't hire a wedding planner, and would much rather stress out over not knowing what to do, but... yeah damn. That was something. Plus school. Plus work.

We did it though. And my mom came to stay with us in August to just be here for me and help me organize what was in my brain.
While she was here, her food also kept me happi.

Wedding invitations. God.
I had no clue what to do with these. So this... this is really funny.
I'm a visual person, right. But
I can't envision anything when I close my eyes. It's just... grey and nothingness. And vague black lines in shapes of things I am thinking of. But it doesn't last longer than a second.

I can't imagine things. I just know what I like. But can't envision it. It's stupid.
Eventually, we got them done. Mr. Chicken set up the site and once we sent invites out it was like the biggest emotional dump just left me.

Where to take my mom?

My work lol. She really enjoyed it!

And ramen. I tried to get her to try sushi, but the one I chose wasn't great. I won't give up. We also went thrifting and she got me this not creepy tibetan doll.

And I had to take her back to see the mouse.

She got to pilot the millenium falcon!

Aaaand dinner with the in-laws :D

She loooved it! I was so happy. We came here so that she could get a first look at things we had in store for our wedding. This was one of the options for wedding din din.

Ghaaaaaad. I used to think steak was meh. I don't remember where else I've had steak; it's like my brain was so umimpressed that it deleted that archive altogether because it wasn't worth revisiting those experiences.
Prime rib. Divine. I only know that I like rare-ish, medium rare because of Umami Burger - the only burger place worth mentioning. Everywhere else tastes exactly the same imo- except for Ruby's spicy avocado turkey burger- that's a good fuckin burger. Which means they probably don't have it anymore. :)

We were gonna go back there last friday, but decided staying home feels nicer lol.


And then, my mortsci ladies and I went to Disney right after to celebrate passing an exam probably. I don't know. Or just for our sanity maybe. ha ha. 

Are these ticket photos annoying yet?

This was when Halloween stuff was starting to come out, and there were soo many cute things omfg.

I bought a bucket hat. It's the first bucket hat I've ever owned. But it's special... because it has silly symphony's dancing skeletons on it :3

Support system

We yell at each other to keep going. Love these girls.

And my work is like... I can't describe it. It's amazing. With amazing people.

Who are just as supportive and helping each other learn and encouraging growth. With Jollibee. One of my coworkers bought a bunch of us matching tote bags uwu.

And I remember one day where we had to do stuff differently, but the family was so sweet and thankful, and insisted we eat like 1500 of these boxes immediately. We graciously accepted 1, for we only have one stomach.
And once everything was done, they insisted on having photos taken with us, the priest, and the whole family. With the funeral coach in the background. Like, together.

We were blown away, they were SO sweet. We were just glad everything was to their satisfaction. You remember stuff like that.

For my birthday, I got some gifties from Val, and they all took me out for drinkies after class uwu.

Ophelia liked the birthday gift Ponies got me.

To this day, she still thinks it was the bag.

RGB spinnies in tower makes for cute kitty photos :3

I got myself some journaling stuffs from one of my favorite artists.

White Stag Art. It's... yeah. I look at it and am just like, yep. That's. Yeah. Me. I want that. So.

And Mr. Chicken blew me away for my birdday!

He surprised me with a trip to the Huntington Library! I'd never been. It was perfeeeect. He knew I'd love it because it hits all the shit I like. LOOK AT THESE STATUES

UwU

There were like 3 trillion statues in thsi huge garden area  and it was so beautiful and serene and just ugh fuck

I wanted to cry, it's SO pretty there.

And then he showed me irl Bioshock

And then like, this.

Like, I just. I don't know.

These photos are horrible. It was so beautiful there.

I kept expecting like, mobs to spawn out of nowhere and have to fight them or something.

There, this whole area looked like there was a boss somewhere that we had to get to.

And from there, we went to an area where a scene in Memoirs of a Geisha was shot.

Not here. But these areas were cool. That buildling is modeled to look like a "traditional" japanese home. And the bamboo forest was dope.

If you're not someone who gets sudden impulses to quote Memoirs of a Geisha out of context when you go out in public, this may seem insignifcant.

I might bark lines at Mr. Chicken, and he might be forever haunted by certain scenes, but this is where they filmed the cherry blossom scene, and I shat like 8 bricks.

"You have to savor life while you can."
"tHe lEsSoN oF tHe ChErRy BlOsSoM." 

"We must not expect happiness, Sayuri. It is not something we deserve. When life goes well, it's a sudden gift. It cannot last forever."


And then there was like, this area that looked like a Nioh map. You'd think Sekiro probably, but no, definitely Nioh.

We walked into this clearing just behind that gate up ahead and was expecting a boss to be in there. There wasn't, but it looked like there would be.

It was a hot day. Mr. Chicken was saying how the bamboo forest is much cooler. He was right. Figuratively, too.

Whatever this was... like, I want this in our backyard.

And the museums...

Old as shit art? Mmmm. Look at these women, I wanna be like them.

Hi do you like anatomy of melancholy, Sir Isaac Newton's death mask, and art and science of emotion?

Anatomy is supposed to be funny and really good. I wanna get around to reading it eventually.

Mr. Shakeypears uwu
Prettiest insults ever written.

And what a delight it was to find that one of my favorite philosphers' works were on display!

Mr Thoreau.

Were I to approach him in this time, composure would leave me, fangirlings' barbaric conquest, and I'd immediately go OMG CAN I GET A SELFIE WITIH YOU and he'd utterly regret living this long, as he calls security to have me escorted away. And that's my fantasy.
It's tucked away alongside my other fantasies of being stared at like a fool by Jeremy Irons and Morgan Freeman for ... I don't know. I haven't thought that far yet.

So I guess there's a crypt of the Huntington family on the grounds. We went to go look for it. Which meant going back through the Bioshock area with all the human eating plants.

And when we finally got there, it was closed off. But it was still fun trying to find it.

It was such a nice day. So nice, that he got us memberships to go whenever we want ^_^

I tried to get him to enjoy this stream with the pretty dancer. He just stared at the screen for a while until he turned to us and finally said the guy's set up was impractical.

School days brought to you by white monster drinks that taste like how my deodorant smells and cute emotional meltdowns.


Compromised emotions meant social bandaids.
Like too many trips to Sun Nong Dan.

And impromptu karaoke 3 minutes away from our house.

I unlocked a new IRL skin because I've had to tone down my dress for 6/7 days of the week.

It's a lot less effort, I like it a lot lol.

This place is so adorable.

So is our little miss.
We're covered in scars and scratch marks now, so we know the affection is mututal.

She knows when I'm going through it, though. My sweet, feral little gremlin. I love her so much.

When fall came around, I was ready.

And when Disney doesn't come through with their oldest character for the spooky pumpkin season...

I was ready.

Fall is dangerous because I go full tilt kinda and drag everyone else into it with me.

As the Fall came about, so did my stresses with wedding planning and mid terms LOL.
But that's for later. This time, it was bachelor and bachelorette celebration time. In Vegas. Did I bring my stuff to study with again? Yes. Is that depressing? Absolutely.

This trip was special, so we had special accomidations.

The groomsmaids and the groom :D

I was just lucky to be there. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to go because my brain was melting from school and work. At the last minute, schedules fell into place and I was able to join them.

Even though it was for a special occasion, it still felt like our usual hangs. Which was like the cherry on top of it all.
I dragged them all to my favorite spot in Vegas.

I don't know how to describe it other than I really like it. It's like a cafe but with cute drinks and cute food and cute everything, and I like it.

These tasted like yummy sweet candy juicies. But were boozies.

I got my fluffy pink drink again. But the elderberry drink Mr. Chicken got was also really yom. Imma giddat next time.

This was so nice. We got to snack and drink and eat in a cute cocktail garden and it was cyoooo and and and and I just. Sigh. So happi.

Wuv you guise uwu

And because our view at night was so purdy, I had to get a dumb photo.

Dumb photo came out cyoo. I could do a lot with it but am lazy and just threw a filter on it.

So, Lifa was telling us how there's this barbershop place that we can go to for drinks. I was like alright, cool. It's past 10pm but yeah lets go get a haircut and drinks. I'm down. And when we went and stood in line, there weren't any people in the shop getting their hair cut. At least not when we walked up. We couldn't see anymore when we got in line, but I also noticed that people were being turned away because of how they were dressed. I was so confused. There was also a doorman who looked like he was right outta goodfellas.
So we're waiting in line; I'm thinking wow these hair cuts are like... a big deal. That's kinda cool though, you can sip on like your bourbon while getting your hair cut- only in vegas haa.

Turns out my brain is just doing that super fun thing again, and the barbershop is actually a front to a speakeasy.

The environment was a lot, but I liked that it was dark. Eventually, a band came on. They were like, country rock. The vocalist had a lot of animal magnetism, especially when she wore her cowboy hat.

Our mornings began like this.

Also! Our friend was able to fly in at the last minute for the day which meant the groom had all of his groomsmaids in tow. It was gonna be a day of big dopes.
We wanted to try somewhere off the strip for lunch, and came across this ramen place that looked promising. The interior was panels of manga, it looked really cool.

The ramen was disappointing.

The amount of oil in the broth overpowered any semblance of flavor, resulting in a bland, greasy product. The pork belly was charred and stiff- unchewable. The rest is not worth mentioning.

VROOM VROOM
The crux of this trip really was to get Mr. Chicken into a racecar and just break him into unbridled euphoria utilizing velocity, inertia and a sports car- at the same time.

They were ready.

Awwwww

Once inside, cars and drivers chosen, consent and liability forms signed by everyone, we followed our guide dude to a room where a safety training video was shown.

We were then led outside to the pit where Mr. Chicken probably shat some bricks. They all did, I'm sure of it.

Drivers would be Lifa, Mr. Chicken, and Chun D. The long haired gentleman you see before you. Chun D's thighs could break a man's neck. You don't understand.
Either way, Mr. Chicken and Chun D chose the same car. Lifa chose the lambo.

I can't put into words how cool it was to see him out there breakign the sound barrier, I can only show you this crappy photo off my phone that was already overheating from recording.

He was elated. His eyes were wide open, his breath accelerated, heartbeat probably going crazy, his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti

Chun D went right after

Homdray and I opted out this round. I'm too neurotic. Perhaps next time. It did look really fun though. When they all emerged from the cars, they looked like they've seen heaven or something.

We weren't without our fun though! Homdray and I got to sit in on a drift run. Centrifugal force is crazy. Our driver just went nuts and despite our seatbelts and helmets, we were thrown around like rag dolls with every turn, it was amazing.


AREA 15

Never been. Lifa suggested it. So much audio and visual stimulation for my brainmeat to filter.

Was cool though.

And then we ended up checking out this exhibit that's like... a supermarket, but is actually like... an X-Files episode the further in one goes.

My favorite part about it was this whole section that looked and felt like being in a System Shock game.

Like, it was so disorienting.

However, the shapes and low hum of the electronics were oddly comforting.

We finished that day with a trip to the Wynn buffet, because yes.

The lights from our suite were so beautiful. I tagged out early while they stayed up, but wanted to somehow capture the serenity from our room.

Exhausted, this was the best I could do. It wasn't executed how I wanted, but it's close. Sometimes I wanna clone myself so I can capture what I think might look cool but is hard to explain. I suck at controlled color, but when hues come together in this crazy night canvas without pattern or purpose, it's like... stars were turned into like chalk markers and drew all over the city.

Our last day, we closed it with some tacky haunted museum tour (was alright, wouldn't recommend). They claim so much, and how people just like faint out of nowhere in certain rooms. That's because the oxygen levels or whatever they do to the fog effects is making people lightheaded. Some folks are more sensitive to it than others. Whatever, it was neat, just gimmicky.

One last hurrah at the irish spot we go to before finalizing our get away. It was such a magical trip. I never thought I'd be thrashed around in a drifting race car right before mid terms. I love these guys so much.


When we got back home, I had to immediately prepare to meet my brideswomen for a bachelorette thingie!

FUCK YEAH, TEA!

Lauren set this up for everyone and I can't tell you how perfect it was. I've been wanting to go to one of these places fOReVErRRR. I just... idk. I default. Tea and snackies, man. It's just... it's so nice. Y'know? And calming. And delightful. And pretty. And everything is just so pleasant. The multiple flavors, textures, presentation, fucking.. just all of it. It's perfect. I wanna go back here and snort everything. It was like Vanderpump, but with tea and the opposite aesthetic. Drinks and snackies? Fuck me up.

And then after everyone left, she had me meet her at her place. And then she was like

WE'RE GOING TO HORROR NIGHTS BTW

and I was like

screaming

in her lap hugging her for like 84 years

I was especially excited to go because I love being chased by chainsaw dudes (as long-time readers of this blog have come to find), and later upon realizing Harry Potter world was here, was like... even better. Because IT WAS AT NIGHT.

I'd never been! Harry Potter is cool, I'm just not a superfan. Though I do like the coziness of the films. They're nice to put on and just... snuggle up and watch while doing 20 other things at once.

Then I realized death eaters were walking around...
O______O

Lauren and I are feral.
There was one death eater that like, went right up to her and started doing these like, motions with his hand and wand around her throat and signaling her to stick out her wrists and I'm like, a bubbling puddle of bleb, off to the side, with a stupid look on my puddle face. And the green lights and fog are all around them. SIGH

She got us din din and I got to try the butterbeer drink!

Lauren not only brought us back to HHN, but she went full tilt and got us fast passes, which meant essentially we didn't have to wait in line for any of the rides and take our time to enjoy everything without rushing. It was unreal. I love her so much.

Before the end of the night, I wanted to bring something home for Mr. Chicken. To Diagon Alley we went! This was the best bachelorette moment ever. I wasn't even foaming at the mouth, I'm so proud of myself.

While browsing, this death eater kept peeking into the window and watching us.

He'd walk by, pause, stare, then walk away. Then come back. He'd like, signal something, and I'd wave at him like an idiot, and he'd do this kind of like "bah" motion and walk off. And then come back lol. It was cute. Finally, he just stops dead in the middle of the window and stands there, and Lauren's like blow him a kiss!
I did. Obviously. AND HE CAUGHT IT.

Then threw it on the ground and walked away LOL. But then he came back! I blew him another kiss! He CAUGHT IT AGAIN. And like, flicked it lololol, and walked off! He came back after a little bit a third time, by this time I was like so heartbroken, so I blew a kiss into my hand and like threw it like a pitcher lol, he caught it, held his hand up for a bit...

and put it on his heart :3

:3

As we were leaving, apparently we went the wrong way down Diagon Alley and one of the park peopel told us to turn around and exit the other way- our death eater was just a ways away and saw us. He stopped looked at us, and pointed at us. I pointed back like an excited child just as the staff dude told us to go the other way.

Was such a fun night. Thank you so much Lauren. And sorry that you had to deal with my indecisive bullshit. I'm not great at picking things out for myself, or any occassion for that matter. T_T



Meltdown, probably.
And then I got this in the mail by someone I kinda look up to (on the internets).

This really lifted my spirits. I mean, I didn't know midterms were gonna be the same week as my wedding. That was hilarious.

Emotional support purchase from an artist.

And we did the thing on October 12, 2022.

:D

Lifa and Chun-D were with us as witnesses. Halloween in World of Warcraft had to be well supervised, so Chun-D had to go back to work. But that he even came out from work to be with us that day was so wholesome uwu.

So we were legally married. What now?

All you can eat sushi, duh.

And since downtown Disney was kinda nearby, WHY NOT STOP BY THERE FOR FUNSIES?

It's just downtown Disney, afterall.

We accidentally bought tickets to go into the park last minute, womp womp.

Post-betrothal impromptu disney trip was 10/10

Best part, the Halloween stuff was out and Lifa hadn't seen it before :D

I'm not trying to see pornhub, but i see pornhub.

 We got hyuck'd in goofy's sky school. Is that shibari?

That week was hectic, tldr. We had a rehearsal, where we prepared way too much food, but the end result was basically a small house party. Lifa served my dad (unknowingly) a shot of whisky and my dad was ecstatic.
Mid terms were the following week.
And a friend succumbed to a long battle with cancer that Friday.

Um. There's probably a japanese word, or german word, or swedish word, or something out there that describes what I was feeling that week, but it escapes me in English.

Wedding Day!

There are like, a billion photos on another camera from the wedding. I barely took any, so here are some of my shitty candids.

I had a nice view.

That prime rib. Ugh.

Honestly it went perfect. Our closest circles and family were there, and we fed them into food coma and drunkies, and it was all so wonderful. We even had cousins from out of state, and even Taiwan and Japan. And we had a vintagey dress theme, encouraging people to have fun. And they did! So many people looked awesome!

After everyone left, our friends lingered until the venue closed.

not gonna lie, 2 dresses was crazy. I had a ceremony one and reception one and... that's so exhausting omfg. BUT. The reception dress is special because my mother in law had it made custom for me. The seamstress judged me, and I understand that comes with the territory. It's fine, I loved it.

And I look like I'm about to rip into my husband's deep femoral artery.

My parents, as a christmas gift, had 2 large canvases printed in peru of our wedding photos. They're so pretttyyyy.

And the coolest part was that the florist for our cemetery designed and created both of my bouquets.

I gave them reference photos but they went above and beyond. That binding on the stems made the bridal bouquet feel like a mace with like 25ATK dmg with 2% crit. For flowers? These would hurt. And that was kinda proved when I tossed the other bouquet- it catapaulted into Suna's face and almost took her out. There's video of that somewhere, it was pretty legendary. Sorry Suna, and congrats tho.

My sister in law's gift to us was a night at the hotel that was nearby. The next morning, we came home to my mom's cooking ^_^!

This time, since I was internally screaming from midterms (my mort sci friends were also at the wedding THEY SACRIFICED STUDYING FOR MIDTERMS FOR ME UWU), I wasn't able to take my parents out as much as I wanted to. And people got sick after the wedding. My parents, me, and Mr. Chicken all got some kind of flu. We all tested for COVID- all negatives. Buuuuuuut... once they were better, since my dad has never been to my work and it's really beautiful there I gave them a tour of the grounds.

They've been supportive of me my whole life. You'd think otherwise (maybe?) considering how I turned out lol, but nah. Especially my mom. She's had every kind of conversation with me with love and truth, despite harsh realities. And they've put up with a lot of my bullshit when I was a teenager. When I wanted to move out, it killed them but they supported me all the way. They're my whole world. And even when their daughter offers to take them to a massive cemetery for funsies, they go and they're excited about it. I love them so much.

After they left, there was a thing we went to.

Halloween event? Yesssssss pleeease!

At the Huntington Library??? Celebrating science?! With food trucks and booze and cool snacks and things to see and do?!?

It was so much fun. A lot of people went dressed up, I looooove that! I wanna be one of those retired couples who dress up in like Charles Dickens outfits and go to boring adult shit like this until I die. That's goals.

There was a cool area all enchanted looking that made potions for different aspirations. I picked

Essence of Dreams
{Enlightenment}

My literal ass is always learning wat people actually mean like, ever.

Everything looked amazing.

This is a human, not a figure.

Good tiems.

A lot of people went as witches. Hocus Pocus 2 had recently come out. And someone got another very western witch skin in Overwatch.

I'm of the belief that witches are boring and overdone- just like nordic stuff. Friend says it's what brings money in. Alas, rationally speaking, he's right. Marketing to the trends wins. How so ironicially trite.

:3
I'm boring, yay!

He got himself racing gear lmaoooo
Goals for 2023 baybeeeee

We returned to Disneyland. This time courtesy of my friend who hooked it up for us as a wedding gift. Her and her wife drove down to meet us there to let us in super early, they were amazing. THANK YOU VAL AND MEL. We hadn't been to Disney that early since... a few years ago and remember it being such a pleasant experience. We got Hyucked before 10:00am.

And beers before 11:00am.
The park was calm, and we could go on any ride we wanted there. Disneyland park was crowded so we had to wait til like 1pm to go in, but that was fine. They don't have libations there like Cal Advent does :D!

Marvel land? Zone? Area? The Marvel town thing... there's a massive store inside that's pretty neat. My only gripe is they don't have Noir Spiderman anything. I asked the associates there and he looks at me like a deer in headlights and goes, "from spiderverse?"

Not surprising. I just said "from anything"

He only has like 4 issues. BUT HE'S SO CUTE, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY WON'T EXPAND ON HIM? LOOK AT HIM

ugh. whatever.

LITERALLY, SAME.

We wanted to try to get into the cantina. Was hard to do that last times we were here. But we did it!

This tripped me out. When I played Star War Galaxies, I hung out in cantinas all the time. It was like... the equivalent of what Orgrimmar is. They were the place to be. And back when like... class trees were um, different and good, I could buff players by doing dance commands, cuz there was an entertainer class that you had to skill up. And under that umbrella of [Master Entertainer] was:

[Image Designer IV]    [Dancer IV]    [Musician IV]    [Entertainment Healing IV]
[Image Designer III]    [Dancer III]    [Musician III]    [Entertainment Healing III]
[Image Designer II]    [Dancer II]     [Musician II]    [Entertainment Healing II]
[Image Designer I]    [Dancer I]      [Musician I]    [Entertainment Healing I]
And you started off as [Novice Entertainer].

And like, you could level up all of those and get Master Entertainer, OR you could focus on only one of those paths and unlock the specialized trees just for Image Designer, Dancer, etc. These classes were what gave SWG a lot of unique charm. Anyway, we spent a lot of time in cantinas. My other class was Swordsman.

So walking into this was a rush of memories right in the gut. And Mr. Chicken also played SWG- before the combat update that killed it and after.

Anyway, we splurged a bit but it was worth it. Our bartender was also amazing.

[RISE OF THE RESISTANCE RIDE SPOILERS]

Here we go.

I never knew I'd enjoy getting yelled at by Imps until that day.

I ALSO NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE TUMMY OF A BABY AT-AT, BUT WE'RE IN THIS DIMENSION WHERE I DID, AND IT WAS GOOD.

Surely we understand that 1:1 AT-ATs could never fit inside this structure. Who knows, one day we might see one on mars or something.

Now I understand why everyone loves this ride so much. I was grinning ear to ear the entire time. It hits home. You like, feel it. The force. LOL. Like, I can't even imagine how ecstatic a SW fan from like the 70s felt going through this ride. That must've been transcendental. My eyes were tearing up. It was always broken down when we went, so this was like, extra special.

Mr. Chicken got us early xmas presents.
One of which he decided to assemble ahead of schedule :3

Since school was swamping me, I didn't get much of a chance to do anything creative for Halloween besides my Oswald pumpkin, so I bought a few small pumpkins from work (our florist shop is fucking amazing), and did a lil homage to Mr. Miura's Harvest Festival panels.

Am kinda ashamed to admit it, but Sun Nong Dan, as much as we love it, has become like... fast food LOL. Cuz we go there so often. So been trying to go to different places now. There's a place nearby that I hadn't gone to for hot pot, but it's perfect and it's all I need anymore.

I love japanese hot pot, but this taiwanese place was like... it. It was IT. That's it. I love it. I want more. I'll probably go tomorrow. Fuck it. (probably not because it's NYE)


DESIGNER CON

Got to go this year yaaaaaay!
And Skullpanda got a big new baby yaaaaay

I was THIS CLOSE to cosplaying. I got the accessories and everything, ready to go. Then noped out at the last minute. Nothing beats a comfortable sweatshirt.

Cute lol

As soon as we got there, Mr. Chicken was like, they have your toys here right? And I was like yaaaa but didn't wanna get in line.
He encouraged it, and it was good that he did because right after us, the line grew astronomically. Like, it was disgusting. Idk why I question him, he's always right.

I wanted my Skullpanda babies. I have some at home, but there are only a few that I really need, for like, my soul to feel complete. The other series are cyoo, but this one is the cyootest. So I got 3. I should've gotten liek 10, but RNG makes me feel unpleasant butterflies.

These are fine

BUT I GOT ONE OF THE BABIES I WANTED LOOK AT HER

Skullpanda was one of the reasons I was there. The other reason was coffin boy.

I saw coffin boy like 4 years ago when Junkyard LA was just putting it out. It was the brown wood version, and I remember passing it and thinking omfg I want it. But didn't get it because I'd spent so much already.

Regret.

Nowhere to be found anymore.

Later on, I saw other versions of it. There's a vintage monochrome one. I want it.

Reselling for $Nope.00

And I just kinda gave up.

But life is funny like that. I went over to Junkyard's booth. COFFIN BOY!!! 2 boxes left.... but a different variant. Damn. Do I wanna drop the cash on something that I'd be settling for? :\

But then he was like, I have this other one, and opens the other box with the current variant he had, and pulls out THE BLACK AND WHITE ONE AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. He said that was the very last black and white one he had. I've never thrown my money at someone that fast omfg. He was sad to let it go, I think that's why it wasn't out on display hahaha. But I told him it's going to a good home and I'll love him forever and ever and ever and take him on adventures with me.

Profile pic forever.
Maybe its freckles. Maybe it's rosacea.

I also got Mr. Chicken a hat. It's cute.

Hi, my name is Cynth and I like to drink Bawls and Guldendraak.

Tis the season of Friendsgiving!

Silent Hill thighs stay winning

And our friends dropped off durian macarons for us UWU.
CHRISTINE SHOVED A TINY SURPRISE BAT PLUSHIE INTO THE BOX

SO IT SMELLED LIKE DURIAN.
DURIAN BAT.
PERFECT.

Am noticing more and more ramen places redecorating their interior to look traditional.

Purdy.

I'VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PALCE BEFORE [HIGHER ON THE STREET] AND I KNOW IT'S MY TIME TO GOOOO

And then we had our own Friendsgiving

Lifa came up with Resident Evil themed drinks lmaoo

I forget what mine was, but the white one is... you can probably guess :)

I made way too much food, and everyone brought stuff. It was awesome.

Mr. Chicken prepared Peruvian style grilled chicken. He's been trying to get the rotissere flavor down just right and he got it lol.

Jason brought durian. He UNDERSTANDS.

This one was different tho. There's like... different flavors depending on where they're from. I had this kind in Pennsylvania, I think it's the malay one? Can't remember, but this one is GARLICY. It's not as sweet as the other one I'm used to eating. It's kinda bittersweet, and way stronger in smell, but definitely more like oniony or garlic-y. The other one I usually like is mango-y and sweeter. Still oniony but no where near as intense. Was cool to have though. I felt bad for my family in Pennsylvania trying durian for the first time adn they got this one instead womp womp.

This year has been full of good. Including Chuck.

Found this buddy at work. It was raining, and Chuck was trying to find his way around a trash bin. We chatted for a bit before I set him on his way.

After a hectic semester, I got my ladies some gifts. We were all so relieved to have passed our classes. It's not over, but at least that part was.
The day of our finals, we took it easy.

And celebrated after :)

This was just a few mins down the street, and I know someone who works there, sooooo fuck it.

Was a lot of fun. I haven't seen him since... Anime Expo 2016? His hair got looooongoo. Looks cool lol. Fits the fit.

In the middle of the tournament, he called his squire and talked to him while looking back at our section. It was SO obvious. Idk what he was saying but we could tell he was talking about us. Turns out, after he did one of the competition thingies, his squire collected the ribbon and ran it up to us and handed it to me.

Thanks buddy :D

The stress wasn't over. The semester was, but the studying wasn't. I was stuffing my brain with as much as I could because... I wanted to achieve something for myself for Christmas. I wanted to pass my licensure exam to be a licensed california funeral director.


And I did it.
My license is coming in the mail. CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.

I've heard a lot about the exam. It's hard. A lot who take it their first time don't pass it. In addition to the processing to take it, it's also not cheap. I also needed this in order to pursue my studies at the pace I'm hoping for. A lot was riding on my passing this. Stressful is an understatement.

When the proctor was about to hand me the document with my results, I felt like I had to vomit. Like, I can't describe what that feels like but... I did it. I could breathe. For a little bit.

I was so elated that I dragged us and our friends out to dinner to celebrate.

WAGYU TIME BAYBEEEEE

Sichuan makes me sad. Peppercorn makes me even more sad. I smell copper and I don't think, eat it. However... I wanted to keep an open mind and try it... that sichuan soup is tasty. I had the bone broth soup last time.

This time around, we went nutso and ordered a ton of stuff.
Worth it.
I have the Disney points credit card CHA'MON, DEBT.

Honestly, when you overcome something like that stressful ass state exam... like... bring it on. I'm ready. LESSGOOO

And Christine wanted dessert so we got yem :3

Before the end of the night, they drove each others cars lololol

Was so funsies. Wub dem :3

During the holidays, we stayed home this year. My in-laws traveled to Taiwan and Japan.
I loved home during the holidays. It's the comfiest its ever been. ^_^

Ophelia helped me wrap presents.

So efficient.

Mr. Chicken got a company holiday gift plus a really nice holiday gift set from his team!

Yeah, we had to move teh tree because she almost knocked it over.

And we had an early gift exchange with friends uwu.

Everyone enjoyed their gifties. So thoughtful! Look at this beautiful Sotenbori print Lifa got me!

Yes, that's Majima in the corner, he's beautiful.
And it's not the turned Majima, it's the yummy Majima before everything happened to him.

And he got us a ghost tequila bottle.
nailed it LOL

We watched that One Piece episode that night. He tried to walk like an Oiran.

For dinner we went nutso and had steak, maca chee, and sushi.

Call the police this troll stabbed a piece of sushi with a fork.
rude

Being a potato feels so good right now, you have no idea. I'm still hustling on school stuff, but outside of that... ugh.

Another friend Christmas tiem!

She prepared everything, she's amazing omg. She even made creme brulee!!!

I love creme brulee T___T.
So much so that instead of a wedding cake, we just had a giant creme brulee LOL.

Murrr

It's nice to reconnect with them for real. We would see each other and be like omg ilu guise and mean it, but then life happens. But they don't live far from us, so it's just really nice to be able to take advantage of that and see them more. I wish all of our friends lived closer, it would make things so much easier.
When Lauren set up the bachelorette thing, she and Suna both live like 2 hours from each other in totally opposite directions with traffic. LOL I just looked it up, they're over an hour from each other with no traffic. That's adorable. It's no joke here when people talk about the traffic and how a car is essential here. Commuting is exhausting. I have to do it for school, and Mr. Chicken does it for work. It takes up so much time out of the day here. No solution, just venting I guess. It just sucks they live so far, cuz I miss em.

And our friend Mo sent us a care package!  She done did good lol

Chocies, mochi, chippi, hot saucie, and DURIAN WAFERS
She was there that night Jason brought durian for Friendsgiving haha

Look!

It's somewhere besides Sun Nong Dan!
Mr. Chicken took us out to celebrate my passing the state exam ^_^

And when I pout, he takes us here :3

In closing, please enjoy these cursed images of Suna and myself.

This year challenged me. Hard. I haven't had a break since January of last year. Working and school non-stop all year, plus planning a wedding, plus the loss of a friend the day before my wedding ceremony and the emotions around that. I attended her funeral shortly after my wedding. I do my best to console and assist families the best way that I can, but this made me feel helpless.

A family friend also lost a loved one... and I worked their service at request of the family.

So all of these beautiful things that happened... that I'm so grateful for.. didn't come without humbling balance. I worked really hard this year. Look at this shit.

You see this shit?
I DREW THIS.
DIGITALLY.
I've never drawn anything digitally, ever. No idea what I was doing. Had to learn out of desperation.
But I FINISHED A SINGLE SPACED 9 PAGE RESEARCH PAPER WITH HAND DRAWN APPENDICES.
I'm actually really proud of that paper, I won't say why but I am.

Anyway, while life is an ever teetering balance, it's important to remember that nothing is a constant. Things shift. So while things may be shitty on Tuesday, they'll be amazing on Friday. And that's how it goes. Or maybe they'll be not great on Monday, and boring on Wednesday, and nice on Thursday. Who knows? Point is... moments come and go, and when people say it gets better, it does if you look at it that way.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This took me like a week to write and I'm probably gonna keep posting photos of sun nong dan I'm sorry lol