Psychopathy

   I had to prime my brain with a round of Overwatch before starting this post. It's gonna be a little weird, I have a feeling. Idk how weird but I'll touch on weird..ness. Sooooo... yeeeeeeeeuhh....

Guess I should do the thing...


WARNING: PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THIS POST CONTAINS DISTURBING IMAGES, AND SPOILERS TO Tango gamework'S THE EVIL WITHIN 2


K, did it.

I'll make note when we're there.
Uh. Idk about you guys, but when we get invited to housewarming get togethers, we uh... are awkward.

Chicken's peers extended an invitation to us, and man, not only was their place really cute, but holy shit, we suck at socializing gracefully?

It's cool, cuz there were these little ticket things to put notes on. I like those. And Nicki of course was awesome and had so many themed little things for the guests. Catering, too. She's dope, I wish I was half as organized as she is.

She had these skeleton keys for guests to take, they were so cool. And their house has warm, cozy themes.

Rustic, but like, cute, and ... homey.

And there were a bunch of people from Blizz that I hadn't seen since the panini started. Many of which ventured forth towards new adventures! Happy spirits all around. It was dope.
We grabbed beers, food, were weird loner kids in the atrium, and finally went around and played with the kids Mario play set.

Everyone else was in groups, just conversing about... life and sharing experiences. And ... you know those people? who mosey into your circle? You don't really know where they came from, when they mosey'd in, or (sometimes) even who they are. But they're there now- listening to your conversation and maybe even occasionally extending a chuckle or tasteful guffaw.

Can't do it. Not built that way.
So we drank beer, blew bubbles and played with Mario.

Thank you to Tom and Nicki for inviting us. The house is really cute and I hope you both enjoy many-a themed parties because your atrium and bridge are perfect for it and the possibilities are endless for interior designing and Nicki should just go crazy with it.

^_^

This makes me wanna organize more get-togethers. Ever since that Halloween party we had the weekend leading up to Blizzcon '19... I wanna do that again lol. Our last movie night was awesome and made my head spin with ideas. HMMMM.



Later that evening, we stopped in on our last headquarters.

Rennie y u no look me

Look at these breaux, breauxing out.

I'm sorry lol. I saw Breaux today (someone's name) and started using it unironically. IT'S SO PERFECT.

Lanning Sea of Thieves
lol NERDS

And recently, we revisited for important things. Like gluttony.

And watching my graceful husband kick Lifa's ass on May.

Was beautiful.
I don't play strive. But that won't stop me from loving Anji Mito.

So, when the whiskey shots came out, I violated the white board again.

I don't draw, but when I do, it's nightmare fuel. I think the last time... it was Salad Fingers? And before that... Frollo? Uhhh... I can't remember further than that. No wait.. it was Jafar, not Frollo. And the fat squirrel lady from Sword in the Stone...

I FOUND THEM.

When Cynth drinks, she violates the white board.
I miss that white board lol


ANYWAY, that night I brought over the Marvel Villainous Homdrey got me for Christmas.

THANOS IS RIDICULOUSLY CONVOLUTED. DON'T PLAY HIM.
Also, don't play the events cards lmao. Unless you're pro at Marvel Villainous. We were so confused. It plays much differently than the traditional Villainous game. Also we were drinking uwu

*baby noises*

(If you wanna get the weird stuff, it's last, so like way at the bottom)

At the end of the night I was ready to do a sleep. Lifa dragged the huge rug from his room and brought it down for us to sleep on LOL.

4 of July was modest and food-coma inducing ^_^

Space cowboy grilled everything up and we all turned into potatoes.

LAUREN
Impromptu trip to visit my friend Lauren did not come without a price- regardless, I hadn't seen her in a very, very, very long time.

Years ago, she moved in with me after an ex moved out. Since then, she's been there ever since. Going back there was nostalgia-inducing, but in a chill way. I really appreciated returning.

She has many silver and gold sharpies.
Like, so many. It's amazing.

We talked forever that night. About everything ever. It's interesting, she's pretty much the longest friend I've had in California, who is also a woman. There's only one other woman close to me. But it's just those 2. My other close friends are dudes. And as awkwardly stigmatizing as that may be for a woman's image (stupidly), it's nice to connect with her after so long. There aren't words for it. I told her years ago that I wanted our friendship to be as open as like, Carrie and the other girls in Sex and the City.
Cuz most of my life, it's just been dudes. And I think internalizing things a lot, just in general, came naturally? Cuz there are things that I don't wanna talk to dudes about. They wouldn't get it. Or if I do, it's presented differently.

To summarize, seeing her was cathartic. She said stuff that Ponies would say to me, but like, in a Charlotte York way. Even though Ponies says he's Charlotte. He is, but he's also a Scorpio. Wtf am I saying ALRIGHT MOVING ALONG

On Friday, we had a homie date. Homdrey didn't wanna see the power of family with us. He missed out.

Han needed more screen time. But I was glad to see him. We all cheers'd when he came on.

And right after, since it was next door, Round 1

But not before food.

I WILL SAY THIS:
There was ONE thing that irked me in Fast 9; Watching Michelle Rodriguez poke at her bowl of ramen with her chopsticks, not even grabbing anything to take a quick bite between dialog opposite her co-star... that was brutal. She just stabbed at the ingredients in the broth, periodically glancing down at them before reciting her line. Her co-star, however small the bites were, was picking off pieces to eat.

I wasn't the only one who noticed that LOL. So we went to eat ramen for dinner

Then back to Round 1!

I only wanted to go there for photos lol.
They did most of the work

srs gaming

Looolol all 3 of us got into that House of the Dead game that's inside the booth or whatever. I tried to capture a panoramic shot, but it's weird

By the time we were out of there, the line to get in was gross. We had no clue Round 1 was boppin on Friday nights lol. Damn.

Yeah, that was insane. Leaving was a relief. Could also be that they're just limiting the amount of people inside? Giving the illusion that it's jam-packed. But it wasn't. EITHER WAY, we split.


To another Miata meet!

These are really fun. I wouldn't mind if we started going to them more often.

So many pretty modifications. A lot of them had the shiny black row bars behind the head rests. They look especially nice against charcoal and greys.

It also matches my usual color palette for work :)

o no

"geodude grey"
me likey

Ahhh this red car. I remember this car.

Because. It's that insane red color that I tried to describe last time, but couldn't. Only that it looks like it has a billion coats of ceramic and is like a crazy rich red. But the more I look at it, it just looks like it has dope shading. Either way, it's unforgettable. So pretty.

Prettttyyyy ^_^
The merlot interior with the pearl wrap hnnngggg

kpop carseyo

ugh, that slate grey so naaace. I'd tint the tail lights darker but issa naaace.

The Ronald Mcdonald Miata showed up as we were leaving.

No words :)
Is that a white sheen highlight? Or thinning paint? No idea.

Chicken ended up making a buddy that night! We were checking out his miata, also merlot color with pretty wood accents in the interior. He came over to us saying no one really took photos of his car before and sparked a convo. He and Chicken got to talking about miatas and their plans for them and it was cute. Lifa and I just wandered while they connected.

Man, that was a long day lol. Took a lot out of us, but was still a good time.

Alright. So
Thanks to the Steam summer sale that ended recently, I got Outlast 2 and The Evil Within 2. Both whose prequels I finished and frankly don't remember much of. I just remember that Outlast made me laugh because the "monsters" were naked, feral dudes in like, a penitentiary or something. They were so comical to me for some reason. I remember the beginning of the game being the most startling and unsettling part- solely because of the lighting and constraint of relying on batteries to keep your camera going or something like that.
As for The Evil Within, I don't remember disliking it. It was different, but I remember finding the random wheelchairs in the sewers being comical.
I find that games often times will scatter (dated, rusted, antique) hospital equipment around a map to layer on an atmosphere of impending doom or correlations of injury, or death. It's cliche. And when I got to the sewers, and I saw a wheelchair I just laughed.

Like, who would take a wheelchair to the sewer? Who would leave more than 1 scattered around like that? And if everyone was trying to desperately rush out, you'd think they'd ride the wheelchair to the exists, as that would be much faster than getting people who need wheelchairs up, and making them walk out? Right? It made no sense.
I mean, it's not that deep. The atmosphere is superficial, and maybe not many people think about that... but I do lol. If you're gonna place wheelchairs somewhere on a map, make it make sense. Like, okay I get it, WE GET IT, THEY'RE UNSETTLING. But who's the dumbass that TOOK a wheelchair to the sewer in the first place?
I can go on about that forever, so I'll just shut up now.

SO. WE'RE NEARING THE WEIRD PART. JUST A HEADS UP.


Alright, so .... I started The Evil Within 2. And... I don't know how to say this, but I absolutely love everything about that game. It touches on almost every trope I love to take in. Lemme just knock these out real quick

• Manipulating cognitive transitions between reality and a host psyche, via experimental technology
  
• Adroit use of prudent psychopathy
• Onryo
• Tasteful macabre shock art (don't hate me, just lemme explain it first lol)
  
• Psychological unease

In short, it's a horror game, but it makes Outlast look like caveman horror. Lets start with the one of the first things I love... the cognitive jumping machine!

You know the trope: Someone has to go into someone else's mind, they submit themselves to some type of apparatus that connects to their brain stem somehow and they jump in.

The risk of losing their own sanity is the greatest, while securing their main objective is the driving force. I remember a machine like this in Fallout 3. I loooove it. So much fun. Different context, but same deal.

SPOILERS


As the game slowly submerges you into this mind-world, similarities start to show themselves to me. Perhaps they're inspiration taken from other mediums, or perhaps great minds think alike. Either way, A lot of the beginning intro area made me think of the film The Cell. The lavish red curtains that seem to dance and pull away as you walk into the hall gave me vibes from when J.Lo's character sees Carl as his own demon. I ate that shit up.

We learn that some of the strange things we encounter are the product of an artist. An artist and photographer who is obsessed with transforming his victims into pieces of art. Ultimately, he's a serial killer. But that does not take away from the fact that the designers for this game went all out to create albeit horrific, strikingly beautiful pieces of art. Macabre art, but art nonetheless. I applaud them.

As you traverse this realm, his pieces seem to dance around you while you're not looking. Unsettling? Of course. Terrible? Yes. Dance and threatre correlations to horrible scenes? I can't hate it.

Onryo.
What can I say? Fucking finally.

God when I saw her, my heart was smiling. That's all I want. Uncomfortable, unsettling, hard to read monsters that are frightful because of mystery. Not to mention, Onryo are scary because you know someone did them dirty. But their pain and distorted emotions kept them trapped, leaving them to replay that anguish eternally.
In short, Onryo are vengeful ghosts. They're a thing in Japan. Thanks Tango Gameworks!
The onryo in The Evil Within 2 is gorgeous and I love her and I hope she finds peace one day. I haven't finished the game, so there's hope for her yet.


The Evil Within 2 really digs into psychology. Really, really. in there.

Our protagonist is desperate, he must find his 6 year old daughter. He grovels to O'Neal, to accompany him to go find her. Everyone outside in this psyche-realm is transforming into something awful, or dying.

"But appealing to my better nature isn't a good way to convince me of something. Sorry. I'm just not built that way."

That's abnormal, I'd say. And... relatable LOL. Our protagonist tries to appeal with pathos and some ethos. O'Neal, without hesitation, shuts him down tellin it like it is. He responds to logos, is my guess. Technicians, amirite?
I am not a technician. I am just a smol hangry bean that likes jalapeno poppers and mac n cheese. But like O'Neal, I respond to appeals of logos.

O'Neal's archetype is the first I've seen be so forthcoming about that level of self-awareness, and lack of shame in it. Usually a character will agree to help under the guise of compassion, only to bail or fall short on their end for whatever reason. People too.

"Appreciate the art"

This article made me think of a book I read. Don't laugh. It's called "GOTH"
lol. It's by author Otsuichi. I later learned that he may have taken inspiration from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Anyway, there's a serial killer who's obsessed with beautiful subjects for his masterpieces. He kidnaps girls, kills them, dismembers their hands, sometimes other appendages or their head, and poses them out in public places like mannequins or art pieces until someone notices... they're actually ... different. Two high schoolers with interests in gruesome unsolved crimes go out of their way to solve the mystery of said serial killer. He plays with them and leaves them lots of hints.

This photographer/artist character is a Dr. Frankenstein of sorts, but with intentions of art installations instead of manipulating a lifesource. Who prefers his installation parts... fresh?

I fell in love with this design. I don't know who designed her, but everything about her is absolutely beautiful.

An amalgamation of grotesque and sensuality. Sex, too. She is a human tripod. Her silhouette bearing supple yet other-worldly curves, down to her ballerina shoes. Her feminine frame held together mechanically by rods that seem to contradict her graceful, horrifying strides. Her neck and head; an Obscura style camera that extends and retracts at the slightest sounds. Her cries; a cocktail of seductive ecstasy and pain as she peers around the corner after you.

Um, can I be her?

"Unfortunately, psychopathy and sociopathy are incredibly difficult to diagnose correctly. Psychopaths tend to be cunning and highly intelligent."

I think I just foreshadowed something by mistake. Oh well.
So, I'll sometimes ruminate on why bad guys are more often than not made to be intelligent. Like, intelligence is probably the most villainized personality trait with character design. Why?

Is self-awareness that dangerous? Or is it simply not being able to recognize that in someone else... that comes off as imposing on our perception of safe or genuine? An intelligent person is only as dangerous and manipulative as the space you give them to drive their fancy words through your mind.

If you meet them in the middle, they're not so bad. Theyre fun to banter with, too.

I'm not calling myself intelligent or cunning. But I assure you, I am not, as far as I know, disassociated enough to classify myself under the label of psychopath. My moral compass is pretty fine-tuned for maintaining order and cleanliness. Littering is atrocious. I'd never park in a handicapped spot. I love laws and rules. And Order.
My alignment is Lawful Neutral.
Sociopath? Probably, partially at least. I'm not impulsive though. Nor do I dismiss the needs of others. I would never leave all of my things at the cashier check-out lane to go grab something I forgot- that would keep the line waiting, and I refuse to be that person.
I pay attention at the green light, and refuse to be the person that gets honked at for not paying attention and slowing down everyone's lives.
Uh, also lying, being uncouth or impolite, and rudeness... Yuck. All subordinate behavioral checks that aren't even worth engaging, honestly.

However, I am a little slow to translate more subtle social cues and sometimes reactionary emotions. I am slow to react to things because I register stuff through a filter that tries to make sense of everything in order before acting on it. Like an equation. It's stupid, because I don't grasp complex mathematical equations. Idk whatevs lol

UH YEAH. So. I think I only clarified all of that, because... "you're intelligent" is something that's mentioned to me from time to time, and I just wanna say... I'm not evil lol. I like rules!
No wait. Ok. I'm not evil, I cry when robots die, because I feel for them. Like, too much.
K, that's better.
I do feel. And have empathy. It's just... filtered through a lens of process of elimination and deducing... a LOT. In the time that I have.


So when crazy stuff happens and it's all over the news... I register that and my brain automatically goes to the How before anything else.

So... having said all this...
I really like the macabre artist trope. As horrible and awful as torture and dismemberment and all of those things are (duh), the contrast of something profoundly grotesque being manipulated into a striking visual.. no short of vain grandeur is kinda neato.

I also found this Fallout bobblehead and lost my mind. A+ yes, amazing, magnifique, brava, I love it.

There's a character in this game.... League of Legends.. I'm so in love with him. Jhin.
he's... this trope. He is a lover of music, theatre, poetry. Eloquent, intelligent, a connoisseur of beauty. He also happens to be a serial killer, and guess what his art and pieces are inspired by and made from?
If you guess his victims, you guessed right! HOORAY YOU :D

Using psychopathy as a tool to create an atmosphere of sophisticated psychological horror is what I mean when said tasteful and prudent. It's not with abandon. And remember... teams of artists came up with this so I'm not the only one appreciating this trope OK

The beautiful designs and presentation are very deliberate, despite gruesome flavor. And that's just amazing to me. There are framed photographs in the villain's estate of his work, and I'm not gonna lie... it's pretty. It SHOULD negate the horror, but it doesn't.

It accents it. It's not supposed to.
How do you accent horror? That's a wrong question, but there it is. Tastefully done. Uncomfortable. Hard to digest. Psychological unease. Beautiful.


The best part?
Look at this Cillian Murphey/Crispin Glover/Mads Mikkelsen looking bastard LOL
I can FEEL their references through his face

So, How did this guy come to be this way? I'm not sure. As I said, I've yet to finish the game, but his narrative is exciting to me. No doubt, just like all the other "intelligent" villains out there, he fits the archetype.

My mind went to Dr. Lector.
Hannibal Lector might find him to be sloppy and over-zealous. I kinda do, too. But that's art, right?
Idk.
I'm rambling.

Well. I love what Tango Gameworks did with this game. It's tasteful. Unconventional, even. And I appreciate that in games very much these days because everything now feels abrupt and in-your-face. Mindless. The Evil Within 2 nailed it, for me though. Good mind fuck.


Alright, I'm gonna go play Candy Crush now, HAPPY SUNDAY sorry this was weird