Surgery ewwww

    It's Wednesday night. Almost a week since I had my gum grafting surgery. WANNA READ ABOUT IT? IT'S GROSS :D


but, Cynth.. for why you get surgery on your gams?

Well. Over the years, I'd developed a habit of biting the backing post to my labret piercing. And just playing with it. Gradually, my lower anterior incisors began to migrate. And the more I messed with the post, the more it eroded the gum line, and shifted my teeth. I also was missing certain areas when I brushed, and sucked at flossing. So that also didn't help. Finally, I sought out a doctor who specializes in restoration.

Frankly, the hardest part is judging which doctor to go to. Narrowing your options is probably the most overwhelming and daunting part, because I just wanted to get a good one. That's it. Why can't google tell me who's awesome and who isn't? We're just not there yet. 

But eventually, with some research, I came across Dr. Yen. I was put on a 6 month waiting list for a consultation. I knew he was well sought after, and it was probably gonna suck a lot of paper, but I wanted the best. So I waited. And finally got my appointment following the consultation.

Then, I got cleaning and a root thingie which basically blasted away anything ever beneath the gumline with a laser (I'm still paying that off lol fml). 

And then, after the final follow up of that, he suggested to go through with the grafting. And I was like ya lets do it asap. 

I said this without thinking because Chiggen had scheduled for us to go somewhere for my birthday literally a week later. Which is... today! Technically. Tomorrow. Thursday.

Yay, It's my birthday lol.

-I'd completely forgotten the time space, and just wanted to get it done and over with. It was scheduled in 2 weeks. 

Finally, that day came.

We had discussed.... intravenous sedation. And decided to go with that instead of localized anesthesia. 

I was NERVOUS. Oh man. I was excited to get my teeth stuff fixed finally, but still nervous as hell because this is like... surgery. In my mouth. And I love food. What's gonna happen? I don't know. 

I just sat there for a few moments chatting with the assistant surgeon about.. I don't even remember. And thinking how much everything was gonna hurt and suck after I left. 

Dr. Yen came in. He's honestly the best. He's SO sweet. And is just really nice all around. He has the most gentle and soothing voice and like, warm disposition about him. It's honestly what I needed when he finally came in and ... I don't remember much of what he said, but I DO remember when he went "Alright, time for the IV!" for the sedation. And I started shaking lol

They were both empathetic and I turned away. He kept talking to me through it saying it's not gonna be that bad, it'll be just a little thing and it'll be over. And while I had my head turned, I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I started breathing hard. And also, when I'm uncontrollably anxious and stressed, I start to laugh. Like, crack up. I'm not sure what exactly it is that makes me laugh, other than how stupid I feel. And the realization that I'm being totally irrational. But I just crack up. While crying. At the same time.

Same thing happened when I had to get a steroid shot in my ass for the tendonitis in my wrist. I was laughing, and crying at the same time. There's a video somewhere of it. It's stupid lol.

Anyway. He was right. In less than a second, the IV was in, and he ever so gently took my arm and rested it and was like, "see? all done. not so bad, huh?" he was like a MOM. It was precious, I love him.

I thought tho honestly I was going to pass out when they put the tourniquet on my arm. Oh god. 

but... they told me I probably won't remember much. And the whole thing will feel like 5 minutes. While I waited for the IV to kick in, I snapped this horrific shot

fml

She said I should start feeling it soon. I was like nah.. not yet I don-OH. That stuff works QUICK. Within seconds, the world was heavy, and spinning. Aaaaaaannnnnnd I felt extremely sleepy and yeah. I was out.

I woke up barely able to move my mouth. Not from numbness, but from how weird and tender everything felt. I could taste iron in the back by my right molar. No pain. Just... weird. I couldn't open my jaw.

I had given them Chiggen's contact info so they could reach him once the surgery was done and I was ready to peace out. I don't remember taking this picture. But when I woke up, I probably thought, 'oh shit i gotta get this for the blog' lol

I vaguely remember walking to the car. And coming home. And.... nothing... and maybe sleeping? I don't remember much of that day after the surgery. I had to take the medication they gave me. And I recall it being... an unfortunate experience. Because opening my mouth, or moving my lips, or swallowing, or pursing my lips around anything, was absolutely just.. not a good time. 

While I was at home, Chiggen went out and got me a bunch of soft things for me to eat over the coarse of time I'd be recovering. Chobani yogurts, cup pudding and flan, jell-o, and ice cream. He's my savior in this. I couldn't move T_T or eat. 

The first day, I ate jell-o at like 1 am, or something after over 24 hours of not eating. I wasn't allowed to eat 6 hours before the surgery. The 1st day after surgery was the worst. 

Since they grafted tissue from my own mouth in the back, swallowing was a nightmare. I had this giant wound back there. The grafting site itself wasn't so bad. But opening my mouth to sip water sucked. Any muscle or tissue movement around my mouth felt sore and strained. But I made myself eat what I had. Was kinda soothing.

Each day that passed, things were slightly more tolerable. I think Saturday, he blended some durian and banana for me, to make a smoothie. That was yummy!

And I was able to eat tuna and soft solids on the 3rd day. The trick with this was to use chopsticks to place the food far back away from the grafting site, and the wound on the left, to chew with the right side of my mouth lol. It was uncomfortable, but delicious and so worth it lol. 

He also made chicken soup using my mom's recipe ^_^

Um..... this was very trial and error lol. But it finally came out, and it's yummy. I can eat the chicken bits that are super soft, and the broth is no problem. However I can't bite with my front incisors, so the noodles proved to be a challenge. If they're soft enough, I can just swallow em.

For cleansing, I'm doing a rinse, and only brushing the teeth around the site VERY gently lol. 

During my time of recovery, I also decided to play Life is Strange! The first chapter was free on steam, and a lot of people I know are really into it.

Um. Apparently also, a lot of people have different values than me lol. 

Final verdict; Life is Strange is... It's angsty story-telling... I simply cannot stomach woe-is-me personality types or narratives. Can thank my mom for that. GRACIAS MAMA. 

 SO.

I'M GOOD. NO THANKS.

There's this part where Chloe's stepdad comes in and yells at her about weed. And you, the protagonist, is standing there, and Chloe goes "it's not mine... it's HERS" and blames YOU for the weed. And I almost spit my drink. You choose what you want to do in response to this and ... nope.

And when synced with friends who played this.... I guess I'm an asshole. 

The messed up part is... the game tried to GUILT me into going back and re-doing this scene differently, so that I take the blame for her crap, and don't end up HURTING Chloe.

lolwat

She set herself up for getting in trouble. All by herself.

It's not even that serious, but I thought that this part in particular was very mirroring of pubescent relationships and just social expectations in general.

NAH. Nah Chloe. Nah. That aint it chick.

 

And since it's officially my birthday now, I can open the present Ponies sent me ^_^

IT'S PERFECT.

I love it! I guess it's been clear enough how much Bendy has become a favorite title for me! He now rests with the Bubble Head nurse, making sure she doesn't trip over herself cuz of her wobbly legs. 

Tomorrow, we're leaving for a mini vacation. I can eat solids now (but not bite with my bottom incisors yet) and I'm so ready for real food again!

ALSO MONDAY IS A HOLIDAY AND I DIDN'T KNOW :D AW YISSSS
Happy Birthdayyyyy to meeeeee ^_^

Tissue Grafting WOO

   Have you ever had a piece of yourself cut and pasted onto another part of yourself before? If you have, that's cool. If not, me neither. FRIENDSHIP. It's not something I'm excited about, but uh, if I bruise enough, I can show up to work on Monday with a mask ^_^ 

HERE'S HOPING I LOOK BUSTED

The worst thing about this is that because it's in my mouth, my solid food intake is going to drastically be reduced by like 90%. No more going out to dinner for a few weeks for me. Unless it's like a jell-o and ice cream bar. Which frankly doesn't even sound awful. In fact, that's like, good. That's good. I wannit. Omg my mom used to make jello with milk and it was SO NOTEWORTHY. Delicious, even. ANYWAY YEAH, so that should be interesting. 

Best thing about all this is that I can still eat durian like a brat. SPEAKING OF- can we... take a moment?

   (i got another one :\)

look. 

it's delicious ok

is this going to be a post about durians? you know what it might be. it might be. BUT EVEN IF IT WAS, there's nothing wrong with that because look AT THIS THING 

*WHAT HAPPENED IN NATURE TO MAKE THIS FRUIT EVOLVE INTO A GIANT HARD STINKY DEATH SAC that's what is most curious to me.

Like, look at it. How much would it absolutely suck so much if you were just walking somewhere and this thing fell on your head bone?
Additionally, for emphasis, I accidentally stabbed myself on the husk while grabbing it with a towel. Pain receptors did a good job. And a tiny piece of a spike came off and lodged itself into my finger. It's like the ultimate fruit stigmata. 

This time while cutting it open, I tried not to mess up the flesh inside by driving the knife too deep. She explained dryly. 
#contextmatters

It didn't smell bad! In fact, it didn't smell at all. And... I realized how off-putting the flesh and the whole process really can be. It looks horrific. If I had to compare the flesh in the pods to anything, it'd probably be embalmed lobes of the liver. Lungs even. Dead lungs.             SO  FUN

Appetizing! I'm so fascinated by this fruit. It's... an insane creation of nature. what the fu

So, moving on.
While California is on fire or feels like we live in a whole fire, we've been making good use of our pool. By we, I mean boyfriend.

The pool is ours, and I feel like we should use it more often, but ever since Hawaii, I'm mortified of exposing myself so vulnerably to UV rays, in basically liquid UV mirrors of death. Or "water" as he calls it.

nope.

But I'll get in once the sun goes down. ^_^

I will admit that the water looks pleasant. BUT ALAS, THE MEMORIES OF BURNING AND EDEMA ARE STILL FRESH. Can't. Won't.



Noodles:

These were my farewell noodles. I miss them already. Even tho I've been on a Pho kick, it'll never replace my affections for Ramen. Can't. Won't.

Also, real quick. I just need to talk about how much the Blood Trolls in Battle for Azeroth have captured my heart.

And lifestyle;

They get me

 bat friend

People from work are pushing for me to cosplay a Blood Troll for Blizzcon. I might. It wouldn't be too much of a challenge, I just gotta get over you know, the part where I'd have to be basically naked in front of hundreds of people THAT I SEE AT WORK EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, THAT'S ALL




uuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggh. I want to but I always say that and then get halfway through finishing the cosplay and then get discouraged for whatever reason and never complete it. We'll just say maybe lol. I'd need so much help with body paint though, ugh.


WE SHALL SEE.

goodbye food.
RIP my happiness.
It's fine, I got Sims 4 on sale to cling onto while I eat water and medication

I need to stop eating so much Pho

    A new expansion for World of Warcraft came out. But I'm pretty certain that probably everyone ever already heard about it. If you haven't, that's great. Uh, I'm sorry to ruin that for you.

 Look, more pho!

That pho place at the end of my block is taunting me. Can walk there in 5 minutes and it's cheap and delicious. Terrible. 

Oh, so there's this game I started. Kuon; super old, but pretty! It's made by the same people who do Bloodborne and Dark Souls. But doesn't play that way. Kinda more like Silent Hill, but in Heian period Japan. Survival horror with lots of ghosts and puzzles and stuff. It's really scary, and cute, and and and I needed wine

heeeyyyyy, more galbi jjim. it's sad, but I don't reuse photos. we just suck and go there too often. JUST for that dish :\

One day at work, I forget why we stopped by here, but I just wanted to capture the library. It's the best place ever. 

There's a weird complex I have about manga. Boyfriend reads it online like a starved gremlin. I tried that, tried apps, on my phone.. and I can't do it lol. Something else always ends up distracting me. And there's something about holding manga in my hands that makes reading it a special experience. I love turning the pages, the smell, looking at the panels in their entirety at my own pace and right in front of me. I love getting cute bookmarks for them. I love how they look on my shelves. I love their episodic nature. I love the glossed over first few pages that some of them have that kinda excite you about the story you're opening into.

And seeing the manga in the library is just awesome. I've asked J if I could contribute some of mine that I've finished. I got the green light to, just gotta remember to actually do it!



When the storyline in Worlf of Warcraft gets nasty, so does the cafeteria food LOL
for context, Teldrassil, a giant ancient tree inhabited by Night Elves was lit on fire by the opposing factions' leader to prove a point that she can do whatever she wants in the name of War. I.E; kill innocents and destroy their home. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo we got these for breakfast for like a week straight

Observe cake cat. 

and more pho

So in my last post I said I was getting a durian. And I totally did. 

We went to a nearby Asian market and grabbed on with the help of a friend who knows how to pick them lol. I got so excited when we saw them that I smacked one and .... that felt like shit.
Since it was frozen, it had to sit out for a bit before we were able to open it. A few hours later, open it we did.

I reached in and grabbed it- that's why it's all .... that shape. To my disappointment, it didn't stink. At least not to me. Boyfriend however, could smell something he wasn't fond of. I sniffed the husk and contents inside, and to me it smelled fine. Inside the durian are like 4 quadrants or cavities where the "meat" is, of which I scooped out with my hands.

K, so..... 

I really liked it.
Durian is named the King of Fruits because this fruit could sustain you were you to get lost forever and come across durians...  Also if it fell on your head from a branch, you'd probably die. Or want to die.
It's true, durian has a pungent smell. Some people can't stomach it. The one I got didn't have a strong smell, and I'm thinking that was because it was frozen. And it hadn't thawed entirely (I got impatient).

Um... the texture of it can only be described as custard-y. There's a ... skin or membrane type thing that encases the custard type stuff, which makes it so that it's easily handled without much of a mess. I did it wrong and just grabbed it and squeezed it too hard, and the sac ruptured. But I took a huge bite and it was deliciouuuuussss.
To me, it tasted initially like mangos. Like creamy, custard-y mango. And then the aftertaste was still mango, but with french onion soup. At the same time. And then, natural gas. Like when you leave the stove on? That smell from the gas? Yeah, that. So.... Mango, french onion soup, and natural gas lol. But to me, mostly mango.

Other people have said dirty socks, rotten eggs, body odor, and basically anything offensive. For many, the initially turn off is the smell. Which I will admit is strong. The most it defrosted, the stronger the smell. I put it in the tupperware, and later that day when I opened it, even lifting the lid slightly, barely opening it, the smell came out. So I'll give them that. If you can get past the smell, and maybe the texture of custard, durian itself is actually quite sweet, and to me, delicious.

(I bought another one today lol)

 More pho :|

California was on fire again. Except this time it was closer to work kinda. And the skies looked like.... that song in the Fallout 4 soundtrack; Orange Colored Sky. That's about nuclear warfare YAY

But this was because of a guy who lit his neighbor's cabin on fire. Weird.

Campus that day looked awesome. It was also the day that Battle for Azeroth came home with us ^_^

 Chiggen ^_^

The novella that came with the collector's edition also contains many beautiful illustrations and art that haven't been released digitally. It's beautifully done.

That week, we got a half day on Friday becaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuse Blizzard put on a thing for everyone! 

 We were going to the aquarium! I'd never been before

Everything about this was awesome. There were snack stations everywhere too. And servers offering empanadas. AND THESE DIVERS

Ready for the I guess artsy photos of jellyfish?

 wao

 hai

Good for you if you know what's happening in these photos

cute wireless LED jello babies

 sad drunk dad jellyfish is tired of long work days on the display glass

blep

karaoke band was cool. everyone let out their inner diva

and my lipstick messed up because I had too many empanadas :\

We had a lot of fun. I'm forever grateful for these cute little things that we're able to to enjoy. Not even because of what they are (which is incredible), but because these events are put together at all. It speaks volumes. Reeeeeeeee

Once it came to a close, we walked a bit around the pier to collect pokemon

duh

:3

That weekend, I discovered bay poke because I didn't wanna leave the house and postmates suggested this place instead of teh other one I usually go to.

It cost me almost $50 just for the two of us, but NO REGRETS. Bay Poke did not disappoint. This was massive. Also, I love my desk lol

Horde cookie!

And earlier this week, we had dinner with Chiggen's sister and her bf at this Taiwanese place. I'm gradually becoming more and more accustomed to stinky tofu. I hated it at first. But now I can eat it unbothered. It's.... kinda like durian in that it has a really strong odor, but this odor is like... so different than durian lol. It's fermented. And it tastes how it smells. So it's something to get used to but... I'm getting there xD. Chiggen and his fam love it.

It's food, so I'm trying to love it, too. 

And today, or rather yesterday... Chiggen's whole family treated me today to an early birdday lunch. While my birdday isn't til next weekend, this was really really really nice ^_^. I had the choice of picking between an Italian or Persian place. Persian cuisine was foreign to me BUT OMG IT'S SO GOOD

It was so pretty inside! The outside looked like shit though lol. This is def one of those hole in the wall places that look like you'll get mobbed by someone hiding inside teh building, but you go in and it's like ... beasts castle or some shit. The pictures don't do it justice but it was NICE. 

And the lunch specials were incredible. 

Omg the portions were MASSIVE. I couldn't finish mine. The only person that was able to finish everything was Chiggen's sisters boyfriend. We were all dying. Thankfully though, I now have leftovers that should last me a few days lol. But this place is super yummy!

sweet cherry rice! 

aaaaaannnd at the end, the waiters brought out a little saffron and rose ice cream treat for me and sang happy birdday ^_^

And afterwards we went and grabbed another durian.

I wanna do something for Blizzcon. There's this character in Diablo 3 whom I love. She's so beautiful. And her legs have things on them that are similar to these garters. I don't know, I always say I'm gonna start a cosplay, and then I do, and get like halfway done with it, and then ragequit lol. Or just halt it and never get back to it, even though I mean to. Like the one I was working on for .... Anime Expo? Lol bleh. I could still finish it, I just need to go out and get the rest of the things. But I don't wanna leave the house :|

I sleepy.

This Thursday is surgery day. Nothing serious, just I'm a little nervous because I'll be put under, and the last time that happened to me, it felt like a giant fat person was sitting across my chest and arms and I couldn't move and it was horrifying until I finally knocked out. Maybe I'll finish Kuon then. I want donuts and pho