Leche

    Word on the streets is there's a new boss in town, code name: MB. A lean, mean, muggin' bean. Try anything stupid and ya get dropped like a binky.

Dear diary, there are long strands of hair on like, everything. I was waiting on my hair to finally start falling out. Turns out it's just the result of Mung Bean ripping it out all the time, which is fine- saves me the trouble.

But dang, it's been a minute, phew. I feel like I can finally do this now since I finally finished my first playthrough of Withered Rooms. I have 3 books waiting for me, Hollow Body, and the Elden Ring DLC. Oh, and motherhood. But here we are!

This is my last week on leave, and it hasn't hit me just yet. I'm sure it will once I'm at work on like, hour 9 and sad because I'll miss Bean so much. I fear my spending habits will only suffer more from this. I spent 100$ on a blankie. It's' fine.

So what's up, buttercup? Well...

I have some cool shirts that aren't black. So I went to fix that.

Unfortunately, these are nice quality fabric shirts, so the dye didn't take as good, lol. That's 1. good because they're not cheap, but 2. not good because I want them to be black. Can't hate good quality shirts though.

So, Mr. Chicken and I aren't ones to really go out much unless we're craving something or have errands. But we both accept that Mung Bean is gonna force our hand in adjusting that lifestyle. So... we had our first outside experiment last month.

We went to brunch, Mung Bean in tow. Not gonna lie, we were both nervous. The only other times we've left the house with Bean was for doctor appointments, and we over-pack every time. But... our fears went away because she slept the whole time. Didn't even matter that the two tables around us were obnoxiously loud, she championed through dreamland like an unbothered bean.

And brunch was a success. It's probably not a big deal for a lot of people, but for cave frogs like us, it is. Because when things go wrong, we just start button mashing. What is that? What does that mean?

You know how like, when there's a kind of biblically ohshit moment brewing, but you can't really tell, you just kinda feel it? And then little things that suck start happening, and you watch as they grow into ohnoes? What do you do? You just GO. Your brain just... goes. To handle it. A lot. Sometimes, too much. Because you're praying that it works and helps. Like rocking faster, shushing louder, bouncing quicker, singing goodish, jumping athletically, rock climbing, flying- to get the Bean to calm down and sleep. That's button mashing.

Button mashing is not something that comes up every day, and then you think about it because you catch yourself doing it. I'm not sure if button mashing in real life is like, instinctual. Feels like it. And, *Carrie Bradshaw voice*

I had to wonder... In the ebb and flows of sleep deprivation, are we all just button mashers?

Jk, it's fine.
No, it's not lol. We've hit another milestone. Everything was chill for a while, but it's like a flip switched off in Mung Bean's head. Calamity. The good thing is that I lost all my baby weight and then some! :D


We've been going kinda nuts with baby stuff. But stuff that'll work with us through the next couple years. Here's one, Ophelia likes it;

Oh hay, Ophelia

Frankly, it's nice. Can put Mung Bean there and there's all kinds of stuff to stimulate and encourage visual, audio, and sensory expansion. 10/10 would recommend. It's by Lovevry. I like that it's like, Montessori-ish. Had no clue wtf that was until I got pregnant.

TLDR: E v e r y t h i n g is a learning tool or activity only. Toys should not be superfluous or redundant.

Will I go full tilt Montesorri? Nah, I'm a gamer lol. However, I do like the practice of strictly thought-provoking activities. When Mung Bean is older, the Water Temple in Ocarina of Time will be like water off a duck's back.

Anyways, the ferals are getting all of the "gourmet" wet cat food we got for Ophelia.

We got like 9 trillion of these, because we're dumb and just assumed Ophelia would like it. Guess what.

The strays and friendly neighborhood opossums have been enjoying not only their kibble but snobby wet cat food as well. Love that for them, honestly. Eat freely, babies. We have a camera in there on the top floor. :3

Ophelia is a Lady of the Kibble and Broth Food Topper.
And she'll have no further discussion over it.

So, as much as I wanted to get all spooky dark stuff for Mung Bean, that'd technically be indoctrination. And that's goofy.

My babies

So mommy will just stick to her own lane and let Mung Bean pick what's dope. In the mean time, pastel blacks, purples, pinks, neutrals and floral patterns have been keeping the Bean colorful enough. Yes, I said pastel black. Leave me alone.

We also went against having ear piercings done at the hospital. This is a decision up to the Bean. Plus, it also gets me an appointment in the future to get piercings together. Which personally, are long overdue.

Very important coffee table photo

We also had a bunch of peeps come meet the bean last month.

Mung Bean will have Lifa's sword, Mr. Chicken's bow, and Homdray's axe.
I just work here.

Jk, I'm Gollum.

It felt great having everyone over again.

People brought snackies and drinks. Lifa brought marinated ribs and Suna made apple and pecan pies. Mung Bean has so many stacking buffs, I don't know if her future peers could handle it. I hope they're like, conventional dweebs that are slightly misanthropic with a warm disposition and grim comedic outlook. ahem.

DEAR SANTA-

jk.

no i'm not lmao. sigh.

The aunties also got to meet Mung Bean!

They came bearing myrrh, frankincense, and gold in the form of boba drinks, snacks, and wonton soup.

Val is so good with Mung Bean, omg. She immediately was like LEMME HOLD PLS. I think it's because she has 90 thousand babies around her all the time. Jk, she's got experience. Mung Bean fell asleep in her arms and Val put her to bed like nothing. It was sweet.
I loved seeing them again. Cris wasn't able to be at the baby shower, so we caught up a lot. I'll be seeing her at work next week :D

My reading's been on pause since I finished Wool.

Pictured: caramel milk tea with boba that Mr. Chicken spoils me with.
Not pictured: Durian mochi that he gets for me every time :3

It's okay. 2 books finished since January, I'm in no rush lol. but I do like annotating. Everything about it feels good. And it looks cool. Got more stuff to make reading feel... more gooder.

gaaaah I'm a mom, rofl
Bonkers.
nah, but when is my hair gonna fall out? I'm ready.

OMG like, BEHOLD:

I bought the files for these because I'm me, and Mr. Chicken printed them out for me uwu. We were sitting on the files for a while because time just disappeared and we were too exhausted to like, do or enjoy anything. But...

Her release date's been changed!

aaAHHAAAaaaaa
:DD

Aaand not too long ago we stopped by my work to drop some stuff off. A tradition has begun. Since so many people pulled together to donate so much to Mung Bean and help us out, I'm paying it forward to the next mom that's just a few months behind me.

This meant that my team all came out (save for a few who couldn't) to meet Mung Bean. Man, it's so crazy. They saw the entire timeline. They were all so sweet to come down. Mr. Chicken got to also meet the crew responsible for making me strongk. :D


Also, co-sleeping or whatever they wanna call it, can be so nice omg.

I'll go back to bed in the middle of the night to all three of my loves waiting for me in dreamland. Ophelia, Mr. Chicken and Mung Bean. Sound asleep and warm. I'm fatigued, but grateful having this view as I doze off. I know there's a, like... cautionary red light when it comes to having your little one sleep in bed with you, but like anything else, when done with care.. it's fine. And so special.

MORE AUNTIES

Lauren came over to meet Mung Bean!! She's SO good with her, they played together forever and it was so sweet watching them. I'm so glad Lauren was able to come see the Bean, I miss her. I can't stress enough how cool she is. Truly. I could never do what she does- and with the charm and confidence she has. She deserves everything. Mung Bean has really cool aunties.

The love just keeps pouring in! Another auntie!!

This is someone I look up to professionally, who has taught me many, many things- with SO much patience. We've become super close through work. I adore this woman muy much and trust her wholeheartedly. She inspires me a lot and I try to hype and lift her up, just because she's an absolute tank at work. If she ever feels she needs to betray me, my heart might break lol. Her name is Christina ^_^

She met up with Mung Bean and I at a nearby cafe. I hadn't seen her since the baby shower either, and wanted to catch up + have her spend some time with the Bean. It was such a precious reunion, lol.

She also arrived with gifts. A cute pastel black dragon plushie for Mung Bean (who is year of the dragon) and this, for me.

Work gets really stressful, but I can make her laugh.
According to girl math, laughing while stressed is funnier than laughing while not stressed. This little message made me smile and look forward to working with her again.

Inside were really cute death head moth earrings and a beautiful magnet:

"Here's to
STRONG WOMEN.
May we KNOW them,
may we BE THEM,
MAY WE RAISE them."

I was so touched by this. It's so thoughtful, and see? This is why she inspires me. WOMEN SUPPORT WOMEN. I'll shout that from our rooftop. I placed the magnet on a lamp in Mung Bean's room so it's always visible when the lamp comes on.

She came over afterwards and we hung out for a while catching up. It was a good day considering that it was also Mr. Chicken's first day back at the office, and my first day tanking Mung Bean alone. We've been very lucky to have a village this whole time. But all in all, it was a great day.

There was a young-ish couple a few tables from me at the cafe. I was waiting for Christina to arrive when Mung Bean got kinda fussy, so the rocking and snuggling began once I got Mung Bean out of the seat. I wasn't anxious or embarrassed to annoy anyone, but I definitely wanted Mung Bean to be comfortable and quiet so I could order my food lol. I felt the couple watch us (we were the only ones in the cafe) and ignored them until I happened to glance over and met eyes with the woman. She was smiling and melting at Mung Bean's excited coos. Her man smiling at her. The aws came out just before questions about Mung Bean, and we commiserated on having a life with a baby in tow having learned that they have an 11 month old. Wild. What have I become.

Derailed, but yeah. Good day! lol.

Ah! A super relatable thing:
You know when you up in the middle of the night, already sleep deprived and going on an hour sleep but your body is like TAPS ARE TOO FULL. So you drag yourself out of bed, slump over to the nursery and get situated to empty the taps. Exhaustion blankets over you as you watch the clock slowly crawl towards the finish line, and you're desperate to get back to bed but taking comfort knowing your baby's next meal will be ready to go for breakfast.

And then you spill it on the kitchen counter trying to transfer it.

ALWAYS
BE
POSITIVE

I didn't even have the mental capacity to cry. I wanted to cry. Pretty sure I felt my soul shatter. Definitely was bummed. But I went to bed thinking that the idiom "don't cry over spilled milk" is stupid and was probably made up by some guy who saw a kid spill milk or something and didn't think much of it other than being annoyed. I hate this pretend person.

Jk. I have so much positive energy it's making my hair frizz.

Here's the dragon from Christina, and the magnet. That bunny was from Sister Chicken.

K, I'm gonna talk about the tap. Because I'm gonna be my own hype guy- I deserve this. Look, the first two weeks out of the hospital, I wasn't able to feed Mung Bean myself how I wanted to. Too painful. So we used formula. Once the pain subsided I was determined to make it work, and I was barely able to produce anything. Since Mung Bean was so little, the tiny bit I was making was sufficient, but my body had gone almost 3 weeks without being triggered to produce milk, so I thought this was it. I'm screwed.

I'm good now. And I'm so proud of that. It took a lot of work and consistency. I'm able to feed Mung Bean comfortably and produce a stash for Mr. Chicken to use while I'm working. Like, hell yeah. Go me. It's HARD. It's exhausting, too. The hours I put into doing this. dOn'T cRy OvR sPiLLeD mi-  man STFU.

I also developed a system.

Idk what other people do, I didn't really look into it because I didn't care, but I realized that because I had an average amount that Mung Bean consumes each feeding, that's all I really needed. Anything extra was a bonus. So the 1 oz, 2 oz, 3 oz whatever's left over- I'd put into a separate container, and put what I was gonna feed Mung Bean into a bottle until it was time to feed.

Pumped

Split what's needed and what's extra.

The next time I had to pump, Mung Bean was already fed, and I could add to the stash from earlier to make enough for the next feed, and save the extra from that. Eventually, it created a surplus to where the extra stash became an additional meal, and what I pumped was extra extra, so that would get stored into the freezer. Did this over the last few months.

This was last week. It's completely full now, and I feel confident that Mr. Chicken will be set while I'm not home.

Totally boring but I learned that there's this weird animosity towards what angry internet harpies call "over producers". Like, what? Like, they HATE them. Idk. They're just moms that produce a TON of milk and like, fill whole massive jars from one pumping session. It's kind of comical. But like, I'll see comments and people are like "I'm just here with my 2 oz." and it's like, dude. I had that too. It was scary. I wanted to breast feed and make enough for Mr. Chicken to feed Mung Bean with. I HAD to. I mean I didn't have to, but I yearned for it, so badly. And the agonizing schedule and hydrating was such a pain in the ass, but it worked. It told my body to make more, and it did. I'm petite- I don't have big boobs. This is all from constantly drinking fluids, soups, pumping and making sure I was empty. Like actually empty. I read somewhere that 15 minutes is sufficient- it's not. I go 30-40 minutes now to make sure my brain is like oh shit, where'd it all go!? Gotta refill. It worked.

That's my experience. Idc about anyone else's, I just wanna vent a bit because some of those comments are angry and so nasty for no reason. Okay, we're all exhausted, but don't hate on someone who has massive boobs that can produce enough milk for a village in a single session. For what? I think it's great. I by no means am an over-producer, but I'm sure I'd get called that because of this and because I'm proud of myself for achieving this. For my baby and my husband's peace of mind too.

Why not formula? Formula is fine, it's been a great aid to us in the beginning and intermittently for doctor visits before we found tools to bring breast milk with us. But I play Souls games. It's far from easy, but I can do it. So I'm gonna do it. And it's a big deal to me. And I'm proud of myself. The End.

I'm not sure if this actually works, but Mr. Chicken got me this date tea. I went through it pretty quickly- it was so yummy. I didn't care if it worked or not, I just wanted to drink it lol. Which reminds me, we need to get more. I mean, it kept me hydrated because I was always drinking it. I also have a gallon water bottle, and drink lots of milk (lactose free), and soy milk, and... just a lot of fluid. That seems to help. Idk, imma keep at it though. If it ain't broke.

My body tells me it's time to pump every 3-4 hours or so. It's a nightmare for night time sleep, but great when Mung Bean awakes hungry. She gets it straight from the tap and we get to fall asleep cuddling.

And that's the story of my boobs.


Lifa came over recently and we played Villianous with the new sets we have, loool.

If ya nag enough, dreams do come true.

It's fuuuun! I love it so much!
We officially have all the Disney Villainous sets. The latest expansion has the candy guy from Wreck it Ralph, idk his name, and Shere Khan from Jungle Book.
Oogie Bookie was a solo character expansion.

The next expansion is said to have a live action villain in it. If they wanna be predictable, they're gonna use Davy Jones. It's easy, popular. I think a great option would be Judge Doom. But the art would be limited. Davy Jones also has more characters around him to work with. Idk. We'll see. It'll get announced this year.

I really wanna see an expansion with Frollo, Medusa, and Ratcliffe

They're all horrible people. Frollo is the worst. We were musing what his objective would be and I hesitate writing it out but I mean, we're all thinking it. He's awful omg.

Beer and a binky, like a Sir.

SOMNUS

Sometimes Ophelia accompanies me when I have to get up in the middle of the night to pump. I wonder what she's thinking. She's such a snuggle bug now.

Can you believe I paid $100 for this blanket?

It's custom. Hand made. But look at the print. It's pastel black, lilac, with bats and flowers on it. It's gonna be Mung Bean's forever blankie. Because I'm... the way that I am.

Oh, so.. we went on an excursion the other day, on the rainiest day of the year so far.

Did we renew our Disney passes? Yeah.

:D

Idk why I was telling myself I wasn't sure if I would. When it was time, I didn't hesitate, lol.

First stop - Clairabelle's!
This time I could indulge in a Guinness float, and it was spectacular.

The day was anticipated to rain. And it did. I didn't look into this beforehand, but Mr. Chicken did. He made sure we came prepared.

The occasion was Mung Bean's 3 month milestone. We also wanted to see what the experience is with Mung Bean in tow. Aaaaand to check out the Lunar New Year event. Everything aligned.

It sucked, LOL. I still go the Sip and Savor pass. I had to. The snake logo for the event was cool. That was probably the only thing that was bwuuuhhhhh.

It was pouring! I got flashbacks to our last Ren Faire trip. What a mess, lol. Same exact thing. Poured so hard, we were drenched and cold. This time at least I had an umbrella, and Mr. Chicken's windbreaker did its best.

The food this year wasn't pulling us in much. And there was a whole food booth down because of the rain. A lot of carts with food and drinks were closed off as well. I looked at the food stuffs for this year and there really wasn't anything new that was like omg I need it. In truth, we went on a bad day, but made the best of it anyway!

Mung Bean's first trip to Disney's California Adventure
lmaooo

Weee, rain!

I also dropped my phone and shattered my case. Technically, it was the wind. I perched my phone up against a pillar to take a family portrait and the wind blew so hard it knocked my phone off. YAY

At least Becky got to meet Mung Bean. This was important. And that Vietnamese coffee churro was the best thing out of everything I tried. Mr. Chicken had the Char Siu turkey leg and was so let down, lol.

Even Oswald's was closed, womp womp.

We spent over 5 hours there that day. A lot of it was wandering around trying to figure out which carts had what and going to pick it up, and making trips to the baby center and back. It's a lot of ground to traverse. I will admit, the baby center was pretty great though. It has everything, even milk warmers. It also wasn't a crowded day at the park, so everything was easily accessible. I can't even imagine going in there on a normal day though. Yuck. But who knows, maybe it's not as bad as I'm imagining.

Yeah, not very eventful for a first time back, but it was still important in that it gave us an idea of what to expect when we go with Mung Bean. The bright side of it is that we went on a day with several challenges to navigate, that going on a regular day when it's nice out is gonna be so easy.

Ah, Valentine's Day.

Lots of love ^_^

Mr. Chicken has been so wonderful throughout all of this. I'm so lucky. Girl dads are... man. No words. He's so tender, and even more sweet than he was, which I didn't think was possible. Mr. Chicken has kept me from going off the rails, time and time again. We're still adapting as best we can, but he's just ... everything. His love protects us, gives me strength, keeps me grounded, and makes us feel so, so loved. I married a beautiful person, and I hope that, in this ever changing, turbulent world, the love we've found surpasses anything that tries to rock our foundation. We're human after all, and I've met too many jaded married people, and I don't want to become that. My Chicken. My player 2. My everything. Te amo.

He prepared cookies for me, bought me a red velvet cake with cream cheese icing, and hot chocolate.

I can't EAT a bouquet of roses, it's like he KNEW.

Thank you, Cheem. For everything that you do.
Every morning, day and night.

Morheim's Blessing buff led us here LOL

Literally Morheim was standing behind Mr. Chicken at Blizzard Starbucks when he and I were exchanging contact information and we happen to glance up to see someone approaching. It was Morheim and his fam. He looks at Mr. Chicken, glances down at the paper he was writing on and smiles at us. Boom. Future secured.

Look how creepy my arm looks in the monitor LOL

I recently bought a bunch of stuff again. Damnit. Well, one of those things arrived today. I'm so excited for it.

I don't normally care about packaging, but this was cute. It's a book marker! A metal, vintage inspired clip bookmark. I can't get over how beautiful it is. With the cute little anatomy skull cameo.

It's gorgeous. I'm gonna get more in different styles. I wonder if it works.

Yes, perfect.

Annd, it's late. My body's starting to nag me again. I retire for the evening to the confines of the nursey. Wish me luck that I don't spill again :)

Happy Belated Lunar New Year and Valentine's Day! I hope this portal into my mom-brain was delightful. OMG I FINISHED WITHERED ROOMS. Excellent horror rpg with stylized art. So good.


PS: When boobs get engorged, they feel like they have implants. I only know this because when I lived in San Francisco, a coworker and I went shopping and she was like, wanna feel my boob? And I was like yah sure, and yeah. It's like, stiff or something.

Okay, g'night!