Anaheim

    Stress has this magnificent way of propelling me into an abyss of uncertainty, driven by the motivating factor of getting shit done, before shit hits the fan. It's a beautiful orchestra of panic, pessimism, rushing, worrying, spouts of depression, fear, doubt, apprehension, skepticism, and just all those really pretty words illustrating much of the shitty things we feel when under the gentle embrace of stress. We cuddled a lot, stress and I. 

BUT I WAS LIKE STRESS...  TIRED OF YOUR SHIT
NO STRESS GET OUT


Found a place in Anaheim. I'm so ready to just be done, but the first step which I personally feel is the most difficult, is done and over with. Now it's just a matter of actually moving everything, which is whatever. In spite of all of this, I'm extremely lucky with work, because my job basically runs the world, and there's a location everywhere, so all I really need to do is put in a transfer form and I'm set. No stress there. I realize I am very, very lucky with this. It's part of why I stay w/ the company... lots of perks. Lots and lots and lots of perks. 

There's stuff I'm going to be leaving behind, because this new place has this wall set up with shelves and drawers already, which is great for me. Means I won't need my dresser, or my bookshelf. Only furniture I'll be taking really is my bed + frame, desk, end table and mini filing cabinet. Everything else will just be my PC, clothes and collectibles.

She said I could paint the room :D Which I'm totally gonna do. It's not a massive room, but it'll do. It's cheaper than what I'm paying now, and it's 5 minutes from Disneyland. I can see the fireworks from there! 15 minutes away from school. My only concern really is being able to move the mattresses and the frames. I know I'll definitely need help with those, but leaving behind the bookshelf and dresser make this move infinitely easier. I'll be renting a u-haul and hope to get everything done in one day. Then it'd just be a matter of finishing my last days of work at my current location until the transfer goes through. Worse comes to worse I can use my vacation time to compensate for any lost hours. And then I'm out. 

As far as a date goes.... I don't wanna say just yet, and only told a few people. But I'm handling my shit and covering my ass-- all that needs to be said. 

Cynthia is a meticulous planner, can you tell? I can't do spontaneous. I mean, if it's food... hell yeah. Otherwise, nah. 
Tomorrow after work I'm going over there to give her the deposit. Considering how I won't be able to move in asap, I'm hoping she won't expect full rent, but she said she'd work with me. She's so awesome. She's a mom, hispanic, and cute and little and peppy. Kinda like my mom. And the community reminds me of somewhere you'd explore on a map in an RPG. It's so linear and cute. Everything perfectly laid out in order. 
The most exciting part for me about all this is finally getting a Disneyland pass. 
The sucky thing about all this is the amount of driving that's about to start come Monday. My classes begin, Mondays and Wednesdays. Which is why I aim to get everything moved in one trip, and just sleep on the floor here with the necessities until I finish out my days at Verdugo and Olive. 

Funny thing is I've been thinking about moving down there since last summer. But I guess I got too comfortable with my living situation that putting it off was just easier. It would've been a lot easier to just get a place here, too... in the Valley. But... school is down there. And school is my focus now more than ever. It has to be, I have no choice. I don't want to end up working somewhere shitty as I get older. I want to retire and be able to afford my own place, comfortably, and call myself a professional. It's so important to achieve that for myself, especially now that I'm nearing 30. I fucked around in my 20's, and had fun for the most part I guess. I feel like I would've enjoyed my 20's more if I had been single, but... lol that's neither here nor there.
So... onward. 

Last night as I was going to bed in self pity thinking of how much I'm going to miss everyone, (or missing opportunities with people that I wouldn't be able to explore) I realized just how much, psychologically, that armed robbery at my work affected me. The more I thought about missing people, the officers came to mind, and then realized why I wanted so much to get to know them. After hanging out with them outside of work, or just getting to know them more in general, I feel safer. And it hit me that I'm not going to see them as often, and it made me really, really, really sad, lol. I've grown quite fond of 3. Of course I won't name them-- they know who they are. And it just sucks, lol. Oh well. 
One of them told me he actually attended my college! And lives in OC, however he and I aren't as close as me and the other 2 are. I'd be awkward to see him outside of work. 

I'm rambling. But at least I'll get to see most of my friends at club nights. And with Long Beach Comic Expo coming up... shouldn't be too much of a hassle. I may put new cosplays on hold for a while though and just stick to what I have. I like my Poe cosplay the best anyway. Speaking of which... I still have all the supplies for its lantern. Just never got around to constructing it. We'll see how that goes lol.
I'm also hoping I'll see Ponies more often now as well, he lives a little south from there. 

I'm rambling again. 
Moving is..... real, lol. 

Anywho, Wednesday night I hung out w/ popo homie. We went out for some ramen. He was out doing errands and I was hungry. math.
... I still can't tell if he was trolling me or not, but when I asked him if he's had ramen before, he said no. but he was smiling, and he said he never learned to use chopsticks, but he grabbed them and started using them immediately. TROLL. so I don't know if he has or hasn't. guess it didn't matter because he didn't even get a bowl of ramen lol.
was curious because other popo homie has never had for realsies ramen.
I wanna take him somewhere before I move.
To Mr. Ramen.
Apparently other popo homie claims Daikokuya is better. This is up for debate. 
Well... okay that's not fair or accurate because I've never had ramen there. But.. Mr. Ramen has napkin art, so.... like.... i don't see how...
EITHER WAY, I WANT TO GO GET RAMEN WITH POPO HOMIES BECAUSE THERE IS AN INJUSTICE HERE AND LITTLE TOKYO CAN FIX IT
and I'm moving soon and I'm never gonna see them ever again u____u
just kidding, yeah I will but still


ANYWAY..

we went to Tamashii

 There was only ever I think one other time that I've been here. I remember it not being very good back then.

 Compared to other places, it still wasn't. 

Really the only reason this place came to mind was because it was closest. 

But, I would not recommend this place. The broth is not very rich, tasted like a paste rather than actually cooked from the source, and the noodles were firmer than most places serve them. 

Additionally, for the amount you are given, the serving size is not representative of the price.

So, I quickly remembered why it was that I do not go there. 

Cute servers, though.

he hates rice.

so he got a crab roll

with rice

at a ramen place

 it's fine I got over it. 
hurt to watch, though. almost threw a chair at him.

Adventuuuuuuuresss..
I feel like it's going to be dangerous being so close to Disney, and Medieval Times, and Knott's. 

I'm thinking too much. Analyzing too much. Just need to let things happen as they do. 
Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I'm not ready for classes to start yet... I'm excited but not at the same time. 

Rambling again. 

Should end this right here before this entry gets dumber. 

Which reminded me of this song by iKON called Dumb & Dumber... 

Been on this weird Kpop thing lately and it's really bad. Like, really really bad. 

  I leave you with this.   If I ever died in a freak accident, I would hope that it would be because I tripped, and impaled myself on their jawlines.    

OC

 That animated series on Disney Channel, the Little Mermaid one, was the motivating factor for my mood this morning at work. It was amazing, and random as fuck. 
 Moving feels way more real today, because I had to tell my boss of what was happening, and so the gears turn towards looking into a transfer to a new location. It made my gut tickle in the shittiest way.

BUT LETS NOT START OFF ON A BAD NOTE, THAT'S STUPID.

Last night, I ventured to the lands of the South west kind of. About 20 minutes away, resided a humble tavern of sorts, housing arcade games and feel good food. And a bar. 
To this discovery, I owe it to Mr. Cinnabons, a.k.a Tenebrae;

He was like WE SHOULD GO, and I was like, HOKAY

And so we went to The One Up, in Sherman Oaks

 The place is really cute, and also quite dark. So, my photos of our feast are limited--
to the cover of the menu. I ordered mac n cheese, because I'm an adult, while he got mini corn doggies. And I also ordered the garlic, parmesan fries but.... they were burnt :(
It's okay though, because the mac n cheese and doggies were delicious!

Once we satisfied our hunger, we made our way to the arcade machines, which were totally free and hosted a ton of old arcade games from the 80s and 90s. It was pretty dope. They also had a Mortal Kombat machine and a Street Fighter one (which was occupied the whole time, not surprisingly).

 Mr. Cinnabons is a man of proper button mashing skills. He yields power to no button. I should just call him Cinnabuttons. Or Buttons. Whichever is less degrading. I guess I'll let him pick?
I'm so nice.

 And I did horribly. My button mashing was sub par, and granted me little fortune in reaching advanced worlds. IT'S COOL THOUGH. PLACE IS DOPE

With the exception of cinder fries, I would return for their doggies and mac n cheese. and mustard aioli. and of course the arcade games. 10/10 WOULD BUTTON MASH AGAIN

Unfortunately I couldn't stay out too late because I opened this morning. So I split around 10, got home and passed out with the dread of coming in the next morning to discuss my moving with my boss.

She was really cool about it. She also probably doesn't mind much because she's going on maternity leave on the 1st (which is when I start school), so it wasn't as gut wrenching as I thought expressing this to her might be. 

I gave her a timeline of March 1st, which I'm super pushing for if all goes well. I've already contacted a few places, and am only waiting to hear back from them. 

Orange County doesn't seem so bad the more I think about it. 

Disneyland will only be a few minutes away, Medieval Times is also nearby, so is Knottsberry Farm (of which I've never been to). And the Que Sera won't be so far either. With the exception of Wondercon being held at the LA convention center this year, cons shouldn't be too bad either. If I beg enough, perhaps people will let me sleep on their floor during con season xD. 

My goal is Cypress, but I'm also looking at Buena Park. 

And everyone I've told about this move to has responded so positively, like in the aspect that they either 

1.) visit often or 

2.) live there and to not hesitate to reach out to them--- which is a HUGE thing because I'm gonna feel like a lost puppy for a little bit. 

Like, I'm familiar with some of Buena Park because I drive through there to get to school, but like... still. It's still a huge transition going from the Valley, which I've lived in for 8 years now, to Orange County. I'm sure I'll like it way more though. It's quiet, clean, and full of eye candy (WHAT) 

And it's closer to my school, lol which is the main reason I've chosen to move there instead of settling here. So, I guess you could say that while this is going to be an insanely stressful month, in the end it should... be... better....

hopefully. 

I don't know.

I hope it is. Getting my hopes up is dangerous. Especially with the car thing, things were going so well.. TOO well, it seems. 

And a week from now I officially start my classes. I should probably pick up my text books, lol. Or maybe hold off. I've learned the hard way that sometimes the classes don't even require them, and it's just wasted money >_<. Thankfully, Amazon is dope and gives discounts to students for renting books. We'll see. This semester I'm taking math and another psych class. No more literature for me, nope nope nope. All I'll need after this is just one more math class and I can finally get into the program. Being closer to school should make the process significantly easier, because taking only 2 classes per semester because of commuting and work is fucking bullshit, lol. If I lived way closer I could've totally knocked everything out a lot sooner. Oh well. It is what it is. By 30, I should be done and on my way to becoming a professionaaaaallll, and getting my shit together for good. I like to think I have my shit together already, but this would make my life infinitely better. 

I want my own place, damnit lol. I'm sick of roommates. I want cats, and a nice apartment, all to myself. And a Disney pass.

WHICH IS TOTALLY HAPPENING ONCE THIS MOVE IS DONE AND OVER WITH.

Turkey legs for dayyyyyssssssss

And I thought I was going to have to travel more to visit Little Tokyo, but it's literally the same amount of time to get there. SO I AIN'T EVEN MAD THOUGH :DDD

Rendondo Beach and I are gonna be besties.

What the fuck is all this optimism bullshit

No, I'm scared 

I leave you with 3 of my favorite screenshots from Fallout 4

This is literally my desk

I HAVE THOSE BOWLS. 

THEY'RE RED AND ABOUT 80% OF THE TIME HAVE NOODLES IN THEM.

If I had some right now, I'd take a photo. 

This will be a thing for when we next meet, Internets.

Also like, it's gotten to a really bad point where mostly everything I see in real life just reminds me of Fallout.

like a random mattress in Burbank on the sidewalk.

Like, what do I do at this point

shit my rice is done

New Year

      According to some magical thing somewhere written on some papyrus in some tomb in manhattan, the passing of a year into a new year is supposed to signify some kind of cleanse and the chance to restart whatever it was that we were running from, right? 
A whole new begging to better oneself, and to improve on the self and our current life situations, and just everything as a whole in general.

  In theory, this is ideal. 
But.
It's horseshit. Not because of my own sucky experiences, but because it's astronomically impossible. The universe doesn't give a fuck about your or my problems. And if it did, how much weight we all put on in the last year wouldn't be much of a priority. BUT for the sake of argument, I'll go on. 


 Usually for the holidays, I'll stay home and work. In 2014, I visited my family in Pennsylvania for 2 days, lol. The money just wasn't there. This year, I saved up vacation time and visited for 5, but only before the holidays. And worked instead when I returned to L.A. While there, I absolutely gained weight.

BUT before we go into that, the end of 2015 has been pretty cool. It's been a long time since I've been single, even before my ex, I was single for just a few months before he came swooping in with all these fancy, persistent things until I finally gave in to his advances.
However this time around I've been focusing on living for myself and myself alone, and basically that's pretty much it. It's nice. There's a freedom and confidence I have now that I don't think I'd ever fully gotten a proper grip on when I was younger. I've been in long term relationships since high school, and never really understood what it was to live a single life, at least not for real. Not for very long. And it's a huge deal for me now because I feel a confidence I've never felt before, and I think that had a lot to do with my dependence on other people to make me feel confident, where as now I'm just on my own, and being dope and shit. It's... enlightening.
I'm not in a rush to get into another relationship any time soon. Or at least nothing serious. 

There's been a lot going through my head lately.  So, for therapy.. I dragged out this fool with me to Redondo Beach just before I left to see my family. 
He was up for the trip, as seldom few others are. Which I completely don't understand. The beach at night is infinitely more beautiful than it is during the day. But that's just me.

 It was cold, and the air felt crisp. 

Completely barren, and we saw a bunch of seals

 I am in love with this place. It's become my get away.

 this fool is too pretty for his own good.

 I'm gonna go again before classes start next week.

And as much as I'd love the company, everyone's been busy lately, so it'll most likely just be me and my switchblade.

Hopefully I don't die?

 We stayed out all night. We drove back to Burbank, got some del taco and hung out at a view until 4 am in company of coyotes.

These night trips are so therapeutic. If I could turn into a dude just to be able to walk around everywhere at night by myself, I would.

My plane was scheduled to leave 2 days later.

 There were like 3 parties that happened within 5 days. 

My mom put on a welcome home thing for myself, with all this food. Which was amazing

Then someone's baby shower, and then some other thing I can't remember the theme of. But there was so much food. And I ate the fuck out of it every day

 I also learned that one of my nieces, Ingrid, is a budding geek.

I got the feeling last time I saw her when she showed me her little comic strips that he liked to doodle, but this year she shared with me her interest in manga and anime, in addition to her growing book collection. 

And she loves Kingdom Hearts! For christmas, I got her the Dark Elf Trilogy and another manga. We also talked about Hellraiser, lol. She reminds me a lot of myself when I was her age. Very quiet, observant, reserved and cautious. She's also crazy smart. She's 13, and I'm so excited to watch her grow up and like, be awesome.

 On my trip I also hung out with a friend from high school.

 this guy broke my heart so much, lol.

 but we always try to see each other when I'm in town. It's crazy how our lives played out. 

So different...

 chinese buffets man.... they're a weakness.

 we also drove around and went to a view in Lemoyne. 

the last time we'd been there, I had long, unlocked red hair and still wore blue jeans.

 (a really long ass time ago. and yes that's him holding the camera)

you don't understand. i keep photos FOREVER

they're so important to me.

you're immortalizing moments.

and contrary to what apparently some of my friends are convinced of, I actually do like to get my picture taken. I just prefer being captured naturally instead of posing. 

it's why I don't often do serious faces in group shots with people... it doesn't feel natural.

 And then we went to Hershey's Chocolate World!!

 SO much has changed over the years.. but it was still wonderful to go back. I missed it.

 It's very similar to the way the Haunted Mansion ride is in Disneyland. 

You get in a buggy and ride around, except you see what goes on in a chocolate factory instead of a haunted mansion :P

 AND IT SMELLS SOOOO OOOOOO GOOD

 I don't even like chocolate, but i bought some. fuck it

 this was me during the parties.

 While the trip was lovely, I was anxious to get home and go back to work.
There's no way that moving back in with my parents could ever be an option for me. I'd go insane. Absolutely insane.

The flight back was really nice.

 molten lava in the sky

Once I was back home, I needed a detox.

So ... off to Little Tokyo lol.

which reminds me... I should probably eat something. Was up til 6 again this morning and woke up around almost 2. 

Anywho... while in Little Tokyo, I ran into Christine and her friend! She saw me sitting outside and came up to me to say hi. We had only briefly met once or twice before, but she said she remembered me from Bats Day and I was like ooohhhh yeaaaaahhh :D 

I like her, she's cool.

 At derp faces, we are evenly matched.

 lol She's great. I wanna see her again.

 Oh and I made these. 

When I feel uninspired I just make stuff and put gore on it.

 And I was craving more tea, so I went out of my way to seek out some good fucking tea.

And regretted how much I spent on it. 

Fuck teavana lol

it IS really fucking good tea though, lol not gonna lie

i don't know why i took this.

and that's probably a k-drama in the background

 after the holidays, my life was full of lots of fruitcake and Salsa and Beer.

 I ate 4 whole fruitcakes by myself. in my room.

 and I don't regret it.

 NEW YEARS EVE i wholeheartedly anticipated just sitting in my room and playing Fallout 4.
Everything was perfectly set up. I prepared myself some boba milk tea, had my snacks ready to go, and Fallout right in front of me. everything was perfect.


until Ponies texted me.

 SUDDENLY I'M IN ORANGE COUNTY AT THE QUE SERA FOR RELEASE THE BATS NEW YEARS EVE PARTY

 I was trying to be his wing man. some girl he was expecting flaked at the last minute, so we creeped on another girl.

 JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES :D

 he's like my little brother, I was trying to give him motherly advice that night lol. so far... things have gone well from what he tells me. and i'm happy for him!

 Steveeeeeennnn

is fun to torment

because he has dis cute widdle face

but he's so serious around me

so 

 i like to tease him

 and talk to him in Spanish. he has no idea what i'm saying but bless his heart he tries to go along with it.

 :DDD

 and then one night i dragged Pretty Fool out with me to old town pasadena. 

 we got burritos and walked around on the suicide bridge.

which was basically one of my goals lol.

burritos make everything cooler 

bless him, he had to deal with me kidnapping him in the middle of the night til way late when he had work early in the morning. 

I'm sorry. lol

 And Trenny had ramen for the first time.

It wasn't the perfect ramen to try for your first time, but it's still pretty good, and it was nearby. 

He is a changed man.

 he's also a little too comfortable with my computer desk

 and then we went out to umami burger because he'd never been there either.

 this poor guy

 he's so metal.

So... I don't do much outside-y things during the day. Like ever, unless it's to get food lol.
but this time around, my friend Chris and I went decided to explore what hiking trails the observatory had to offer. And hopefully reach the Hollywood Sign. because... why not

 It was on a Saturday and finding parking was a bitch. We parked waaaaay at the bottom of the hill and had to make our way up past the Griffith Observatory, and continue up the trail.
But we could see our goal!

 RADIATED WATER

 Fallout 4 references were never ending

 lady was taking a picture of her dog in front of the sign xD

 we got lost lol.

there were a bunch of forks that went off somewhere

and we just randomly picked one hoping it was the right one.

 it wasn't. and this climb hurt my soul and my everything else that i didn't know could hurt

 but we made it to the top.

 as it got darker we made our way down again but this time it was like... survival horror mode because phone flashlights

 and the view was a trillion times more beautiful

 he had to pee so we stopped by the griffith observatory and looked at thingies

 hold your breath and make a wish

 we were both really hungry so we went to eat some fucking FISH

 Chris is dope. 

He's the most relaxed, chillest person ever lol. 

I see him come into my work every day in the mornings and that's how we met.

My radar went off and one day I was like "are you a gamer?"

and the rest is history lol

And 2 weeks ago I went to see Jason at the studio. He said he'd get me burritos lolol.
i feel like a hamster around him

 Geoff was there toooooooo :D

they're inseparable

I owe him coffees. but he's always so busy! I'll have to bug him again this week and show up with yummy cappuccinos ^_^

DISKU NEKURO

KAWAII DES

 Krieg being adorable giving no shits again

I feel like I take pictures of him the most because he's just such a great subject lol

 Ran into Tenebrae there.

He smells like cinnamon buns.

 the most awesome thing he did that night was while we were dancing on stage,

Sisters came on, right? naturally. 

and out of absolute nowhere on this fucking planet, he pulls out these big Andrew Eldritch sunglasses and SO NONCHALANTLY 

places them upon the bridge of his nose, and poses looking straight at me. 

and I LOST IT.

It was probably, hilariously, one of the most goth things ever.

 It's da Chichi famirrryyy

 She has Bowie and Harry Potter in her hair at the same time.

It was an emotional evening for many people, to say the least.

 you'd be surprised at how many pictures i have of homies about to kiss or are kissing lol

 KRIEG, COME HERE

HA

 Bowie was a thing that night.

 Mister cinnabonnsss

 WELL HI THAR

if we take this capture with a literal meaning, its probably the most offensive photo ever

lololololol

Jess is a glow worm

 KRIEG

 KRIEG STAHP

 this woman is

the sexiest woman

alive

i don't care who you are

also, i totally had to color correct this because i looked like absolute shit, still do but she looks hot

Aaaaaand I've been so so lucky enough to make the most awesome friends through work.

 i'm grateful for them

and for everything that they do

Release the Bats was 2 nights ago and I was basically given no choice in the matter of attending lol.
So I put on my best face and grabbed a Pokemon shirt and headed out to a waiting Ponies and Stitches outside in the driveway.

 hee

 was gonna text this to one of my friends lol, haven't yet. but i will xD

 Ponies shirt is awesome

says "Read a fucking book" lol

 KRIEG

KRIEG STAHP

 It was an awesome night. Had a lot of fun and danced HARD.
Stitches got onto the stage and brought up Ponies with her, I followed after them with Krieg, and we were just shakin' our bootays. I felt so gross by the end of the night lol. sweaty! yuck! >_<
but... super fun.

So... there have been a lot of amazing things happening, but there were two, or rather are, 2 things that kinda stressed me the fuck out lol.
The first was my car. I had to drop a crazy amount of money out of nowhere to get it fixed. The power steering hose had a hole in it and all the fluid drained out and got everywhere. So my car was virtually un-drivable. It turned on, and everything worked fine, except... that.
I'll spare how much of a proud asshole I am and what I did the day I had it towed to pep boys, but it's fixed now and good as before, but now i worry that something else will eat shit, even though i feel i take pretty good care of it.
which brings me to my next yucky thing.
i have to move. by march, mid march at the latest.
and that's as far as i'll mention until i have a more concrete idea of what exactly is happening.
but... it's going to be a huge ordeal, and with classes starting next week... it's just going to be the most stressful fucking thing. especially since ... well. nevermind.
i'll more than likely have to hire movers, or pay people to help me load all my things onto a truck. especially my bed and bedframe. it's just gonna suck.
i know that once i'm settled in, things can only get better, but the move is going to seriously, tremendously suck ass. so.
yeah.
in the mean time, i'm trying to figure things out one step at a time and enjoy the time i have left here.
unfortunately, that means i can't go crazy with money, which means upcoming cons are out of the question. At least... weekend passes lol. ALA was going to be a thing, but unfortunately, not anymore. At most I'll probably just go on Sunday just to check it out, but even that's not a sure thing at this point. Especially with Helter Skelter being the same weekend.

So, the beginning of this year has been all kinds of weird. Good weird, but then those two big things hit and everything just... bleh.
I'm rambling. but at least I'm caught up with mostly everything, I think?

With all the shit I have, I should probably start packing a lot sooner =\