Damaged

   I'm going through a tough time at the moment that I can't seem to shake despite my efforts to better my situation. It's an internal struggle I fear I'll have to try to get used to until other things change. It really fucking sucks. Elaborating will probably make me feel better...

Also I made these little japanese pudding charms. 

Raspberry, regular, blueberry, strawberry, and chocolate ^^

There's absolutely no way I can do more damage as a caster mage than the new melee mage spec they implemented in Rift with the new expansion. I don't want to go fucking melee. I want to stay ranged. I've looked for other combinations I can use to do better dps but everyone right now is a Pyro/Harbinger combo and fuck that.
Rot says I should just give Harb a chance. He's right, I should. However it's been a long time since I actually liked playing melee. Several years ago back in Vanilla WoW I swore on my life that I'd play Warrior for as long as I lived. Because ... Fighting is real and magic is for pussies: that was my mentality back then. But then I tried out a Mage and never looked back. Now... the top DPS soul in Rift is a Harbinger which is melee and I'm butthurt because alls I'm trying do is role a fucking Warlock/Necro and try to get some quests done but I can't even do that because it takes forfuckingever to kill shit because I'm NOT DOING AS MUCH DPS.

It blows. I may just go heals. I have a healing spec already. All it needs is some fine tuning and I should be good to heal dungeons. BUT SERIOUSLY I WANNA DPS. Who knows when it'll get balanced out. I read this thread that says Necro/Elemenalist was 800 DPS behind Harbinger so I tried that. Pathetic. I can't get past 1200 where as other people my level are doing over 2k. WTF is that horseshit? Maybe it's my gear or my rotation of spells, or how I spec'd into my trees I dunno I'm trying to figure it out but it's getting to me :(

...So then I turn to Torchlight II to cool off, which by the way is fun.


HOKAY so this last weekend was my friend's show! Jason! Yanno... the bald guy that always winds up in here somehow? Yes him. He plays in a rock/country band named after him, Jason Charles Miller. HE'S KIND OF A BIG DEAL. lol
jk no he's not. PSYCHE. HI JASON :D
Anywho so I did merch for his two shows. I did merch for him in the past and ended up meeting super nice people through it. No different this time ^^
The first show was in San Diego.

To my surprise it was at the same venue Psyclon Nine played for the very last show on the We the Fallen tour. Or... at least I think it was that tour. Their last one.
Oh man. That show was funny. SO MUCH DRAMA. I was surrounded by probably the most batshit crazy people I've ever met in my life. Rotny warned me. I did not listen. Most of them probably fucked up on something- stealing money, fighting, yelling at each other, throwing tantrums, going at it over twitter and facebook. AMAZING.

THIS TIME I was there it was completely normal, and fun, and professional. I forget what the venue was called. But they get a lot of shows there.
The drive there was crappy lol. We were driving for 4+ hours because of traffic. Normally it's a 2ish hour drive. Yay California traffic. Also it was raining, so everyone and their mom was mortified of the roads and driving extra slow. Eventually we get there and they start setting stuff up for sound check, I go straight to the merch area and start setting up.
Jason bought me a delicious burrito and nachos, and Geoff kept coming over to check up on me and keep me company when he could. Weee!
One of the attendees there tried to get me to leave with him and go see the Transiberian Orchestra show that was up the road. He said he had an extra ticket. Would've been sweet to see. With not him, on another night. They're awesome. I've seen them before years back with my ex. Badass if you're into that stuff.

At the studio getting ready to leave on Friday.

Can you seeee meee? :3

Coffin Case!

I was in the back of the venue. The stage is way up front. It was nice though, all the people were way over there :P haha

My reading material for that night. 

So many shiiiirts. I reorganized EVERYTHING. That bin was a mess!

^^ me likey white russians!

schmoozy time!

HAHA

Geoff came over with his technology and we watched Lilo & Stitch on his pad thing.

On Saturday sound check was way earlier so I had to be at the studio to meet them around 1:45. They were playing at the Whiskey that night with several other bands. We got there on time and I went upstairs to set up. Jason then told me he wanted me to set up gifts for that night because he had a special guest (Santa!) showing up on stage. He was gonna give out a prize after every song and Santa was gonna pass out candy :P

So I got to work on that. It looked so cute and x-masy and stuff. I also got to snack on some chocolate. Mwahaha!

We were there super early and sound check was done so Jason and I split to go get something to eat. First we went to this cute pizza place a few doors down. He ended up getting two slices of white pizza and I got the snickers cake NOMNOMNOM. He ate most of it. 

Then we went to a few other shops around the area and looked around. He went back to go check on something and told me to meet him at the Hustler store. The Hustler store was literally across the street. You can't NOT go to the Hustler store when it's literally across the street.

So I met him there. 

The only other time I've been there was because of Psyclon Nine's Ruina tour back in ... 09? I think?

Filip had flown in to rehearse. Everyone was here. We took the van and we all went out in search of liquid latex and a stage costume for Filip. He ended up getting a feather vest from the Hustler store xD I don't know if he actually wore it or not, I think he did... lemme look...

OMG YUP.

HE DID.

This photoshoot was lolz.

Baby powder

everywhere

omg

asthma

for reals

ANYWAY

Hustler store. yeah lol

I went straight to see what liquid latex they had to let Rot know. He bought some last time and at the last Psyclon show someone was stupid and just spilled it everywhere.

So many colors!

Cuuuuuute!

We studied the various masturbation dolls and apparatuses for men. Very imaginative! I learned that Jason has a plastic surgeon friend who did a porn stars boob job. It's good to know that if ever I come to find that my adorable, non-aging ...things.. are ever in need of a size increase, I'll know who to go to. We also found the parody section. There's basically a porn parody of every movie and tv-series ever made. From Seinfeld to X-Files, Thor, Twilight (of course there would be) and a bunch more. The Adams Family. Oh man. Good stuff. Jason also of course has a friend who starred in a few of them. He pointed him out. It was difficult to hold back laughter in some of the poses he was in. I couldn't imagine being aroused and posing like a squatting monkey for cameras xD

He took me to the little coffee shop inside the store that I had no idea existed. Cutest thing ever!! I should've had something from there but it was all so pricey. Novelty stuff =\

MAYBE I SHOULD APPLY TO WORK THERE OMG

We headed back to the Whiskey because his manager was meeting him there shortly. I went upstairs and prepped... but not before going with Jason and Eric to Pete's Coffee and getting a latte. We said our goodbyes and I came back. Set up some more and waited til it was time to check everyone in.

Geoff and I went outside with everyone else and waited for about 20 minutes before the doors opened. It was raining and there were a lot of douchebags and kids and aunts and uncles and shit. All scared of the rain. We got inside at 8pm and the first band started playing. I hauled ass upstairs and took my post. 

Geoff's friend Sarah showed up shortly after who I came to really like! She's super chill and at the very end of the night I ended up learning that she voiced the character on my keychain! She does voice over and was giving me advice on how to start and what to look into if it was something I seriously wanted to pursue. When she saw my keychain she said "that's my character!" and I was like NO WAY. RLY?! And it was one of those omg moments. :3

Because I got her out of a mystery box in little tokyo with Devon!

The one on the right, with blue hair. That's Sarah! ^^

That night I also saw Taliesin! I haven't seen him in a really long time.

I met him a few years back while merching for another show of Jason's. Everyone knows him too because he's a voice over director and has done a lot of stuff with Anime. Jason knows EVERYONE in the voice over field it seems lol. Taliesin was there with his lady, who I must say is adorable and it's like they suit each other perfectly. They're like cartoon characters come to life. Me wub Taliesin!

They were all dressed up to go to another event. They looked so cute together *_*

He's such a sweetheart!

Oh, lol! There was this younger black kid there who gave me one of these, which I later found were scattered all over the venue. It's a print of a million dollar bill. I was like O_o thanks? I guess...

Then Sarah looked at it and was like omg... Evangelism rofl. I was like RLY!?

Really.

"The million dollar question: will you go to Heaven when you die?" 

YA GOT MY ATTENTION, MILLION DOLLARS. YA GOT MY ATTENTION

Time to pack up!

It was a looooong night. But this time I got home around 3AM instead of 4AM so that was good. 

Was tired as shit!

Thankfully I didn't work the next day. I kind of figured I'd be exhausted to I requested off to recover. BOY WAS I SMART TO DO THAT. Not that I was drunk, it just messed up my sleep schedule :<

Totally worth it though.

I had a lot of fun. Everyone did.

This weekend I'm gonna be seeing Alan again too! Very excited for that because we are going to.....

SIX FLAGS!!!! 

I haven't been there once the whole time I've lived in California. I'm so stoked to go! It's gonna be awesome! And then in January my friend is gonna fly in from out of state and we're gonna go to Disneyland. fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffYES TURKEYLEGS

What if they have turkey legs at Six Flags?!!? 

Also on Friday Devon and I are doing Little T. The secret's come out and I wanna go with her at least once more before she leaves. I'll miss our LT time so so so much. I don't know who else I can do that with really, other than Dnd guy but he's just as bad as I am when it comes to doing shit and flaking. If not worse. Actually no I think we're both pretty terrible. Well... we'll make this last visit amazing. And super memorable. 

Now I need juice. Am thirsty ^_^

hee