Shout

 I had my job review today, finally. The pay raise was implemented months ago, however I still wanted to know what she felt I could improve on. Is that weird? Maybe it's an ego thing, I don't know. But it mattered more than just the money. Integrity is so stupid.
We also had a meeting today. It came across to me more as entertainment than a lecture.

Some stuff came in the mail for my little business (?) --- I feel weird calling it a business because like, it's just an online store. It's not like... legit. It is. but it's not ... I don't know. It's Noobish. Does that make sense? I dunno. Anywho I got some stuff for packaging, which elevated my mood. Also I got this little caddy thing for all my tools. I'm not OCD at all regarding that shit, but my little work desk was so cluttered that working on it was blegh. The simple things.


I had this song stuck in my head all day today.

Such a great classic.
The vocals, the music, the mood, tempo, everything. You can feel the emotion in the song.

It's actually really upsetting to me that the music that's considered good these days is... nothing at all within the plane of the talent from back in the day. I wasn't even born when this came out, but I love the music from that era, the 80's. It just feels and sounds more... genuine. There's real feeling to it, and the relationship between the instruments is like... they have this beautiful choreography that just fits so well together. And then there's the shit out today - stupid ass dubstep, shit like nicki minaj, qq bitches crying about the same old crap in dumb, cliche love songs, and stupid LOOKING bands that sound just as stupid trying to call high pitched whining "metal." It sucks. to me. And don't get me started on rap. I'm glad they can keep a rhythm as they speak, and rant about whatever in stanzas, but please... there's a massive difference between having ghost writers and keeping a rhythm... and being a composer. No, not producer. COMPOSER. Musician.

Ugh.
Ironically, I'm letting it all out. THANKS, TEARS FOR FEARS :D

Moving on.
Next week I'm hoping I don't exhaust myself with the all two outings I'll have. My friends' show, and then there's also yet another co-worker's birthday get together. I can't wait to watch the not at all subtle pissing contest that will ensue that evening. How many social experiments can one do in one night? Is that awful? Sorry. Simply and frankly, it's pretty entertaining to observe from a distance. Distance is great. I like distance. I wish to remain there.

I wish I had the balls to do a cover of that song. I probably could. Nooooooooooo, but I don't have the balls for it. Ew, I'm too shy. :( Also my roommate is literally always here, so I'm never recording another cover ever again.

Oh man. So I just saw this article that a friend shared: AKB48 member’s ‘penance’ shows flaws in idol culture | The Japan Times

OH. MAN.
Basically, this girl band member was seen leaving a boy's house.
Her contract with management forbids her to have a boyfriend because it will ruin the fans' fantasies.
This got out, and she shaved her head, which is considered an extreme act like.. oh shit, i fucked up. i'm humiliated.. and she's apologizing profusely and asking fans to take her back.
 Like the ULTIMATE I'm really fucking sorry. But her sexuality is stripped, and she just... ugh. she did that to herself... all over seeing a boy.

This hit the biggest nerve ever.
OH MY GOD the biggest nerve ever.

Some of you know. Some of you don't. I've dealt with some of the biggest bullshit of all time because of these "super fans" as Rot likes to call them. I like to call them burninafuckingfireanddie.
Can you believe that we've had that very "fans' fantasies and chances of getting with us" conversation?
WE HAVE. Believe me when I say it's HORSE SHIT. It's UTTER. HORSE SHIT.
NO. YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE.
EVER.
"They need to think they have a chance at having sex with us because we'll sell more albums, and they'll want to bring their friends to our shows"
But I can't say that. Because albums have to sell.
Ooops. Did I just say that?

This little girl's life is turned upside down, and her adolescence stolen from her because "super fans" wanna imagine themselves fucking her, and convince themselves SO MUCH that they have a chance to fuck her that she isn't allowed to have a personal life. GOD FORBID she kiss someone, WHAT WILL THE FANS THINK. OH NO.

Ugggghhh..

Can you tell I've dealt with that before?

I'm so irritated, lol.
I want to hug her so bad... and tell her how much I understand. And comfort her. and just... not see her cry over that. Begging for forgiveness and acceptance. That is such horse shit.



They really, really ought to know...
These are the things I can do without. I'm talking to you.

What a fitting song. Who knew?


Oh! On a happier note, haha, I sold more charms on my Etsy ^_^ so I will be busting those out and getting them shipped asap. Squeak. I want Ramen!