Safe word

   Fail. 

To my massive annoyance and disappointment in myself, I won't be going to my classes this semester. Why? Well, because I'm an idiot that doesn't know how things work, and was too slow.
I had an online appointment to register my classes. Currently I need to take two per-requisits in order to progress onto my major. BUT I'M STUPID, AND DONT' KNOW HOW THESE THINGS WORK. SO.

My classes were full? And the waiting lists were full? And I didn't even know this happened? 
I thought that you just... were able to get them, and take them. As if there's an unlimited amount of --- whatever. Point being I failed in getting into the classes I need (wanted most) and fuck labs, so now I have to wait until next semester. The good news is I can probably get that stupid assessment thing out of the way, and go do a dry run to check it out without any stress about classes starting soon. So THAT'S good. That way by the time I get in, I won't be such a massive noob and know what to expect. I setting goals for myself; to not have as many anxiety attacks as I normally would. Or freeze up awkwardly. I think they're more realistic now. 


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         On a much much brighter note, Sunday night was especially fun.

I have always wanted to get more involved in the bdsm scene. However, there is also a part of me that is very selective about who I interact with, and who I surround myself by. Though that scene is more towards the open-minded end of the spectrum, my fastidiousness bleeds into it mercilessly.

A little while ago Lauren had mentioned that a mutual friend of ours (who also works in the VO industry) is a Dom! I was shocked, but also relieved. He's a fun cuddly bear! And it's always nice to see him at events. I told her if he ever wanted another Sub, I'd be up to feeling it out and going from there. 

Fast-forward | Sunday afternoon |

                 T, as we'll call him, sends an invite to me to attend Ruin. A club night that also hosts dungeon play. I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to talk to T about it! Immediately I called Lauren, who he also invited, and we decided to go. 

She came over early and we ran around and did stuff, and I took forever to get ready. And split around 11. It was at a different venue this time. There were 3 levels. Top deck was smoking, main floor was the dance floor/bar, and then the basement was a gorgeous, elegant, velvet detailed, top notch beautifully lit floor of it's own with an open seating area, closed off by red velvet dividers with a horse in the middle. We walk further down the way into the main room where the cross was, to find people playing. It was all gorgeous. We spent almost the entirety of our night in the basement.

We saw T, who was there with his adorable little pixie, S. At one point we went to sit in the sitting area and he discussed the possibilities of playing with me tonight. I didn't think it was going to happen, because... my ignorance about shared stuff with time management. But I said I'd like to play at some point, for sure. 

While there I saw Cynthia! The other Cynthia that I had met at the last event I played at. She recognized me. It took me a second because she wasn't wearing her rubber hood! hahahaha
So we had her and her friend join us, which eventually proved to be quite entertaining. She had someone play with her on the horse for a little bit. So lovely to watch! 

Communication is important.

    The beauty about this is that he read me, and psychologically warmed me up, to relax me about playing that same night. I was unsure, and he knew it.

Lauren dropped a hint about T giving the best massages in the world ever. To that I reacted, and he offered to give me a back massage. It was amazing, because my work has me coming home sore, with a crap load of tension especially in my shoulder muscles. So we sat there, as he dug into my back. Then eventually he told me to get on the horse. So I got on the horse, where my mind screamed ANXIETY, but eventually learned to relax. He knew what he was doing, I think. I'm pretty sure of it. 
And the funny thing is that that kind of mental stimulation is all a part of bdsm. 

So he gave me the best massage ever. Not that it felt good at all. It actually felt like shit. But he was going in after all the knots and once he was finished I felt AWESOME. Both mentally and physically. Well done. Touchè.

He had also given us a tour of the venue. Where I ran into Blanca, Caroline, and Cat. They are wonderful ladies, and it's always great to see them. They're the ones with the awesome apartment that I threw up in. :)
I was especially glad to see Blanca. She told me a couple things that night that made me feel so much better about something that happened a little while back. She gets it. It was a relief!

We went into the main part of the basement to watch Schno work on a girl.

                 It was so, so, so pretty to watch. He made it look gorgeous. His skill and the way he had  her completely under his spell was absolutely beautiful. (He's a dom, if my description hadn't made it clear yet.) We were all entranced. I can't stress enough how amazing the human mind is. And this art of making something somewhat violent become a completely different exploration of passion, and sensuality, and escapism.. is what draws me to it. It's not just for pervs, though rest assured, a lot of them are around, but there's a lot more to it than just sex. At least, for me there is.

So he was done. I wish I had taken pictures, but I was hesitant. I wasn't sure of the policies at this event, due to other similar events making it clear that photography was prohibited. Which I completely understand. Thankfully Lauren dgaf and took care of it ;)

My readers, you have her to thank for this fruitful, vice filled documentation of Sunday evening's events.

Little Pixie it was said was someone that Schno was looking forward to play with. It was also his birthday, and would be the perfect opportunity to make it happen! Lauren and I were just as eager to watch. --It happened! Someone else was using the cross, so he began to work on her in a little corner by an entrance way. I think he was warming her up more than anything, because they moved over to the cross as soon as the other people were done.

Again, a beautiful session. You could tell he liked her. And it was clear to me that he takes a lot of pride in his execution. He should, because he's phenomenal. When he used the single tail... we all twitched for her, after every blow. Schno even looked to T, and signaled to him if she could take it. T nodded a yes, and they proceeded. She yellowed once I think. 

Yellow is ... OMGOMGOMG HOKAY, SOMETHING ELSE PLOX.
Red is .... STAHP.

I was amazed at how she didn't bruise! lol. But she and him were great. Everyone enjoyed it, I'm sure.
Then, T started talking with Schno and I looked to Lauren about to gush more over how pretty everything was when she said T just said your name! To play with you! And my heart dropped. lol I was like O___O 
but then I was like yay! Can't explain it. I was nervous and excited at the same time. Nervous because of the audience, excited because I love this. 

Enjoy

Communication. 

He was telling me professionalism stuff. 

 

Yeah. I still don't want everyone to see my ass.

Ironic, ain't it?

It was exhilarating. I very much enjoyed it.

It was kinda like... giving yourself over and letting go of everything ever, and letting someone else take control of your life for a moment. At least, for me it is. And I loved it, and am thankful that T was the one doing it. And will continue to moving forward.

I was glad to hear that they were impressed by me. 

I didn't yellow, or red. They said I broke threshold, which made me happy!

The next time we play at another event, I'll make sure to let people know, if they wanna come and watch. I suggest trying it at least once. It's different for everybody, but that is what I personally get out if it.

WE WENT TO A DINER AFTERWARDS.

Pixie and Lauren. 

It was at this place called Cafe 101? Or 110 Cafe? Or 101 Cafe? 

I dunno. But we all went there to eat. It was a really cute diner that looked all 50's.

I got a breakfast burrito because I'm hispanic.

We talked shenanigans and once we stuffed our bellies we all split for home.

Lauren was honestly a lot of the reason why I had the bravery for going on the cross. Audiences make me nervous, but... she was there for me. 

On the way home, I happened to look down at my lap and noticed how red my thighs got.

He got me on my thighs as well, which was the toughest for me to endure, but I did it.

but dayum.

and then, just as I was getting out of the car it occured to us how awful my butt must look.

Lauren said turn around and lost her shit laughing.

She took a picture (nope) and showed me and HORY. SHET. 

LOL.

We laughed our asses off (haaaaa) over my poor, beaten turnip colored bum.

I came in to a sleeping Rot and went to bed to warm covers. A nice change from standing and sitting after our session. 

The next day.... I couldn't resist.

It's dramatically more pigmented in person, but I couldn't not capture it.

And I can't tell you guise about it and then not show you anything at all, so... here. lol.
But it's covering my entire bottom.

Sore but not awful. It kinda feels like that soreness you get after getting a tetanus shot to the ass.

Or any shot, actually. It's way less sore now than it was, but still bruised. 

I love it! haha.

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I got Lauren to play a Blood Elf for a couple of levels. She really liked it. Perhaps she'll end up like me.

Last night was Nero's birthday party thing at the Velvet Margarita. It was fun. Good to see everyone again. I hate myself for not charging my phone while I was getting ready. I have absolutely zero pictures from last night, but a lot happened.

Most importantly I had Rodney and Josh both tell me how much they care about me, and how much they love me. They were drunk lol, but it was a conversation that went on until the sun came up. I am very lucky.

ALSO. Rot's birthday gift to me, though a few days early, is... a new tire for my car :P

He wanted to surprise me by going to get it done himself and paying for it and bringing it home for me, with a huge bow on it to surprise me with, but because of tour, he was short on time. But told me he had this all planned, but wanted to at least get me a tire.

My tire's had a leak forever, and I'm basically agoraphobic. Do the math. Practical, and thoughtful. He knows I'd hate to go do it alone by myself, so he's doing it for me :3 Hehehe

Happy Cynth is happy ^_^

Josh gave me his gift last night before we all headed out to Hollywood. He got me a stuffed Kyubey! lol I was shocked because I know they're not cheap, especially the size he got me. So that was really thoughtful. I loved it.

I can't believe I'm going to be 26. UGH GROSS.