Lo-Fi stress levels to eat to

  The mood this weekend for me has been just... chill.

There's this awful habit I have of sleeping in until 1pm on my days off, and then... I find myself discouraged by time constraints when it comes to artsy pursuits. And to be honest, gaming has been dominating most of my free time. But this weekend, I made it a point to wake up at 9am, and like, did stuff. It's nice to not feel rushed!

Someone from work let me borrow some Hellboy graphic novels. It's been weeks lol... I finally got around to them this morning.

And I've been wanting to try some photo stuff in my room, since my lighting is dope. And finally got around to testing some stuff. My favorite colors to play with are the purple and red lights. But I'll have to try others. Maybe green and red next time.

Also, I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self to not be an asshole about braces. I hated them so much as a teenager. Now, I love them and wish I could wear them forever. Mostly because they match my piercings. They're a mechanical augmentation, and that's like, awesome lol. 

Note; I used to hate smiling in pictures. I think having the braces on has actually made me more confident with my smile. It's gonna suck when they come off haha

Earlier today, the boy and I went on a little lunch date. I wanted sushi ^_^

 Gimme yellow tail and salmon and I'm a happy smol bean

 During our lunch date, he encouraged me to pursue my clay stuff a little more aggressively. It's not something I ever really considered, because they're all passion projects. I make stuff for myself because I'm bitter that there aren't things I want in the market lol. But he said I could probably put a portfolio together and consider pursuing it a little more seriously. 

Thing is, I'm not imaginative at all. And the things that I do come up with... well they stay in my head because I suck at drawing. That's not an excuse, but as someone who is ruthlessly meticulous and detail oriented, putting something on paper that doesn't convey precisely what I aim to reproduce would only be ............... huh. probably better than not doing it at all, huh?

well shit, I just put myself in my place. damn lol

WELL , anyway, I'm not imaginative.......... wait... no. Okay, I'm not proficient at conveying the things I come up with on a medium that I can utilize as a tool to transfer that reference into a 3D piece via clay. And when it comes to clay, I still have a long way to go. Like I said, clay isn't a thing I ever considered pursuing seriously, and I take my time with it- I'm learning a lot as I go though. Especially with this Cydaea statue I'm doing. Very very slowly and painstakingly. But I'm determined to finish her.

Something I'm stubborn about is learning on my own, through trial and error. It doesn't make sense, but I don't look thing up ever. Like, ever. The times that I do, it's to get a general context or foundation, and then that's it lol. This ironically leads to a lot of time spent on mistakes and re-dos. Which are so.... discouraging and annoying. But, I think that's part of why I like it? It things came too easy to me, I think I'd lose interest. 

With this Cydaea statue, I'm learning about foundation. I messed up royally but not having more skeletal support, and her ass is weighing everything down, despite the wire frame I did. So, I may have to go back in and remove clay to reinforce the frame. Which.... really sucks. But it's a learning process. One that I could've easily looked up and learned about in a quick tutorial video but...... whatever lol. It's still fun. 

And then there's my writing. I used to write short stories a loooooong time ago. Idk what changed to make them unappealing. But at least there's still this. I like writing ^_^ it's nice.

Oh yeah, I'm also done with my new cosplay. It's so dumb lol. but it will be comfortable :D

It's 10:15 at night and I want donuts and cheese and snacks and tacos and ramen and pork buns and taro buns and boba milk tea and and and and reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 

time to raid the fridge