Pennsylvania

   I'm sitting in bed not really knowing how to approach this post. Mother's day is here and maybe, I can give my mom the gift of having a platform to tell her story.

BUT FIRST.

It's been over a month since I last shared anything on here. A lot's happened. Like. 

I learned that there's this particular huge car meet up thingy that boyfriend is fond of. It's cool because it's in the parking lot of an outlet center, so food is immediately available. Also, Fallout cars.

Kind of. 

It also really fascinated me that these post-apocalyptic worlds held onto retro themes so much. Like, SO much. It's cool. Just... bizarre.

 

 I like its butt.

 ayyooooo

There's very little regarding cars that I feel sufficiently knowledgeable about. Like, you step on the gas pedal and then it goes. A meet up with lots of cool looking cars however, turned out more enjoyable than I'd expected. Vintage cars are cute.

My bff and I went to go see CATS. The musical. Clarifying the musical part has proven to be just.. absolutely essential. People look at me weird when I say exactly, "my bff and I went to go see cats!" The fiends.

 He went to the bathroom. I went to the merch booth and walked away with the biggest fucking smile on my face. 

Theater and musicals are like, cool. But I wouldn't consider myself a huge fan of stage performances. There's nothing I have against them, I just rather be in my room, alone, eating, playing video games. However CATS was one of those productions that caught my attention when I was 13, and I just dove in head first. Like, so hard.

   AOL was new, but there was a myriad of fan pages made about the musical and its characters. And the chatrooms. Oh my god. I felt unstoppable in my thirst for knowledge about ALL of the cats in the Jellicle Junkyard. It was easily the first "fandom" I succumbed to with the sweetest abandon. And also a production that I never expected to see live. So... we flipped the 13 to 31, and I finally got to see CATS live. And it was amazing.

My bff had no idea what was happening and he looked like he was going to puke throughout the whole thing.

BUT ITS FINE :D

Now he knows all about Skimbleshanks, the railway cat. The cat of the railway train. And how Skimbleshanks won't let anything. go wroooooooong. He's the cat of the

rail

way

traaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnn

Three weeks after my return from Rome, Italy... boyfriend and I traveled to see my parents.

 I didn't tell anyone. 

The reason for this was because this trip was very intimate. I haven't seen my parents in 4 years, and after everything that has happened with my mom, there was no room for visitors. Perhaps next time I visit, but it will be at the discretion of my parents. They sold the old house and moved.

My mom was anticipating my arrival, but not until the next day; her birthday. My dad picked us up at the airport, and when we arrived, there was dessert waiting for us. It was well past 11 at night.

We embraced, cried, talked, and got to know boyfriend. Him being there with me was also a big deal. I'm so glad he was able to make time to come with me. In spite of his preferences for travel lol, his being there I think was comforting. 

At midnight, we sang to her.

I love them so much

Here we go. I asked her if she wanted people to know, and she said yes. So.

April 17th, 2019 marked the 3rd anniversary of my mothers' arrest in Hartsfield-Jackson international airport in Atlanta, Georgia. 

 She was arrested and charged on counts of transporting and intent on distributing drugs. Cocaine, specifically.

Lets rewind.

My mom used to her own little shop, a botanica. Not sure how to describe it in English but... in Spanish culture, saints, prayer, talismans candles idols herbs oils... all that shit... she LOVES that stuff. So she used to import stuff from Peru when she'd go visit family there.

Over the years, since the shop stopped doing well, she closed it down and decided to bring stuff back and forth for family and friends. When we'd go, people would ask us to bring them things for the United States... there's this weird perception that the US is like... rich and full of amazing gadgets for cheap lol. ANYWAY, word got around and more people started asking her, so she decided to make it a business. So she'd travel to Peru and stay with family, and bring clothes, toys etc.

Except family told friends, and friends told other people. And through word of mouth, these two men found my mother and contacted her.

This traveling that she did with her dumpy little business was to help my dad with bills. Mostly medical bills. Somehow, in spite of all of their shortcomings, my mom always managed to fix it. She's a tiny little ball of energy that can't be stopped or defeated, and that always inspired me.

I feel resentful when I see crowdfunding everywhere... people just asking for money from strangers... after all the work my parents have done and still do.. and they came to this country with nothing. They became citizens, and they went to school to learn English, found work, and "made it."

I resent my family in Peru sometimes too for putting that pressure on my mom to bring them stuff all the time. Sometimes a part of me feels like they were envious. She managed to "make it" in the US, maybe she has all this money to just give things away. But they were so wrong.

Anyway, I digress.

My mom was contacted by this dude who wanted to send clothes and whatever to his cousins in Peru in his suitcase. She .... ugh. I was mad at her, but she just said yes to this guy. Without knowing him. Just because he knew someone she knows. She just blindly said yes but anyway... my mom was going to Peru one last visit. My dad told her not to. To take a break and stay home. She laughed it off and said nooooo one last time and then I'll take a break! He begged her. She didn't listen.

My mom... she has wanderlust. The total opposite of my dad who is a homebody and sticks to himself. Minds his own business, quiet. She's... hyper and has to do all of the things and go everywhere and talk to everyone and go and go and go and go...

She got to Peru, and the day before her birthday, she is scheduled to arrive home. Except this time, the "cousins" gave her something to bring back with her to give to that man. Upon quick glances, it's just some baby clothes, jackets, llama skins, some purses... whatever. For that mans supposed family back in the US. My mom just accepted all that stuff without checking it. She trusted it because it was a woman with a baby that gave her those things.

When she got to Atlanta, she was detained. They stopped her after that bag went through the xray, took the suitcase and opened it. I think a dog must've picked up the scent, because within all of that shit that that woman gave my mother were bags of cocaine. They had been concealed within the lining of the jackets and llama skins and the purses. Sewn in.

I'll never forget the phone call I got from my dad that day. I was expecting to hear my mom happy to be home again in time to celebrate her birthday.

The first thing my dad says is "Sweetheart. I don't want you to worry... but please listen to me. Know that she's okay. She's safe. Your mother was detained in Atlanta. They won't tell me anything right now, but she's okay."

I can't.... describe how that felt. I don't want to try. 

 I cannot begin to explain to you the sensation of your spirit being broken. Shattered, over and over again. As each update about her came back to me. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. No hope.

To imagine my mother in the arms of these people handling her, looking at her, judging her, shouting at her, grabbing and yelling at her. Locking her in an interrogation room and recording all of this while she can't understand what's happening..

She was innocent. There was proof. The men ... they are in prison now.

The judge, the district attorney, the jury, the public defender... they didn't believe her. Because she is little, her English isn't great, and she's Hispanic. Her public defender abandoned her. He finally came to see her 6 months in while she waited in jail for a trial.

The men were captured thanks to the help of some detectives from Swatara County in Pennsylvania. My mom told my dad to contact the police, and tell them what happened. My dad had been getting calls from the man waiting for his suitcase. But my dad just kept telling him my mom's flight had been delayed. He knew what the man was waiting for now, and the police got involved without hesitation.

In order to catch the guy, my dad and the police worked together to wire him and the house, while one detective hid in the master bedroom, another outside, and two patrol cars hid around the corner in case the man tried to escape.

The detective coached my dad to get the man to agree on a time to come pick up his suitcase, convincing this guy that my mom had come back with it. My dad called him, it was recorded. They agreed on a time.

First it was 3pm.

3pm came around, nothing. 

Then the man called back and said he'd be late. He'd be by around 6:30pm. My dad told him he better get shit together because he didn't wanna wait up for him to get his stuff. Not verbatim, but essentially. The cops are still there. The man said he'd be by earlier than that and that he'd definitely come get it. 

 Some hours go by, a car pulls up to the house. The detective sees it and asks my dad if he recognizes the man. My dad's never met them so he didn't know. But they see his fat dude come out of the car and approach the front door finally, after they'd been sitting there for several minutes.

They already know what they're doing is wrong and they hesitated.

The doorbell rings, my dad answers it. My dad looks at the man and asks who he is, the man gives him his name, and my dad says nope. This suitcase is for [other dudes name], he needs to come pick it up. The man says he was coming to pick it up for him. The detective specifically told my dad it had to be the owner of the suitcase- no one else. My dad denied him again and said only Willy can get it.

The dude walks back to the car, seemingly defeated. Another man walks out of the car and approaches the front door and knocks. It's him. "Willy."

My dad invites him in. This guy had the audacity to ask about my mom, he knew about her birthday. Acting totally normal. They sit on the couch and my dad had to get the guy to talk about what was in the suitcase and to say that it was his.

And he did it. He asked about the things in the suitcase, the man answered baby clothes, etc .. "gifts" and confirmed it was his.

At that point, my dad lost it. He looked at the guy, "you son of a bitch. my wife is in jail because of you. right now." and just went off... the man got up and said I didn't mean to that's not how it was supposed to happen and he ran out of the house and into the car. The detective rushed out, my dad was a mess he started exclaiming that the man got away and apologizing for losing his temper. The detective calmed my dad and told him not to worry. Confused, my dad kept saying they got away!

The sirens came on. They surrounded the car and arrested them.

The men involved in his have been trialed, admitted to guilt and also that my mom had no idea they were doing this and fucking muled her, were convicted and are facing 12 years in prison with deportation upon release. They were involved in a cartel that works in Washington DC if I remember correctly. One of them was afraid because he said the leader would send to get him killed if he didn't deliver.

sucks for him.

But this was all in the state of Pennsylvania. Meanwhile in the state of Georgia, they didn't seem to care about any of this. The state of Georgia still incarcerated my mom on the conviction that she still carried the drugs on her, and that was enough for a 25 year sentence.

I fucking hate our legal system. It failed my mother. There was no justice for her. She was betrayed three times over. By people she thought she was helping, by our own fucking justice system, and later... shitty family members that like to talk shit. But they don't matter. Not anymore.

She got a lawyer. My father had to borrow money from family to hire one. Who did the bare minimum. He got her a lesser sentence in exchange for a guilty plea. She didn't understand all of what was happening, she just wanted to get out. 5 years in prison, the rest would be done on parole. If she cooperates in the conviction of the men, her time would be dropped.

She did a percentage of the 5 years, which was just under 3 years. And she finally came home in March.

It's been a long 3 years. The stories she told me... the cryng.. the insane things she would say out of desperation. I've never heard my mom talk about wanting to kill herself. Or that she was going to die if she didn't get out. My mom never cried in front of me. But so many phone calls were laced with her agony and begging us to call everyone we could to try to find something out. They never had their information straight about what was happening. They also told us jack shit.

Helpless was an understatement.

I will say though, that throughout the time she was there.... no one layed a hand on her. Somehow, she managed to charm everyone. Even the most ... lost individuals. They called her momma. They protected her... the inmates. They fed her. They helped her walk around. They made sure she was safe. And to them.. I owe a massive gratitude. She was safe because the inmates took to her so well. They didn't dare touch her.

My mom is caring. She'd cook for them in their make shift kitchens, and they'd bring her gifts. She even learned how they prepared booze. Everything you could think of that could be made, she experienced it.

When she left, they cried for her. My mom said she even had a son in here. An inmate. In a womans prison. She cared about everyone that went out of their way for her. They knew she was innocent and I'm extremely grateful for how well they took care of her- the inmates. The people who run the prison on the other hand can go fuck themselves.

There are so many stories, but that's.... that's what happened with my mom. It's out now. She's home, she's trying to just get back to normal and be well again. They moved because my dad didn't feel safe anymore. Don't worry about where. They're fine now though. And I'm just glad that we were able to be together again after all of that.

I honestly wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's horrible. You feel like ... your soul has been ripped, you can't process anything and it feels like a joke. It's .... ugh.

Anyway.

In spite of all of that.

My mom was excited to cook for us lol. I was prefectly fine with going out to eat while we were there so she could relax, but nope. She was running out all over the place buying ingredients happy as can be so she could prepare lots of food lol.

We had empanadas for breakfast. And tallarin verde with papa a la huancaina for lunch and dinner.

On Friday, chicken and I went to Centralia Pennsylvania. I'd completely forgotten all about Centralia. But when Chicken asked about it, we booked it straight for here.

Little bit of a back story; 

During the early 60s, there was a huge mine fire underneath the town of Centralia. It basically made everyone evacuate. Its neighboring town, Byrnesville (lol?) also met a similar fate as the fires spread. Centralia was, as we can easily guess by now, a coal mining town. And... well, that all just went up in flames. .... technically. 

Centralia also is special because the fires beneath what's left of the town continue to burn to this very day. The history here was also the inspiration for a movie you're probably familiar with. Silent Hill; based off of the video game... Silent Hill. 

In the film, we find that the town had been destroyed by a fire beneath the town that still burns. Also, the church in Silent Hill also was inspired by the church that still stands in Centralia.

One of the things that makes Centralia stand out so much however, is the piece of highway that was cut off. Due to the fumes and pressure from the fires, the road had been destroyed and basically ... a potential death trap lol. LETS EXPLORE IT :D

 It's become a popular landmark.

 We weren't alone. There were several others who had gone to visit and tag the road. We did not tag anything. I think I've too much respect for the remains of a place with such a loaded history.

Note, the fires still burn underneath.

We didn't see any fumes exiting the cracks that day, but that's not to say that we were not at the mercy of some random explosion. 

I felt bad because chicken is... not as curious as I am when it comes to exploration lol. I like to venture to places and explore. Especially at night. He is more cautious and rather just, not. But once we left, he was happy we got a chance to visit :)

Ahh, sunsets are great.

I've seen photos of this place during the winter when everything fogs over and the steam can be seen in the cold air. It's absolutely beautiful. I'll have to visit again around that time.

 Thank you for being an explorer with me :B

Finding the church wasn't too difficult. It was at the most northern part of the what's left of the town. We drove through the dirt roads that were surrounded by not much more than brush and shrubs, circling around until we started going up a hill that seemed to be hidden behind the trees. Up, up, up, up... until we found it.

There was no where to stop the car and park anywhere nearby. It was just right there, at the road. This photo was taken from my car when I put it into park right in the street. Thankfully, traffic wasn't an issue. 

Immediately, the similarities between this church and the one in the film made themselves clear. The stairs were a big one. The fact that both churches are on the top of a hill, another. At the base of the town... cemeteries. We see two pillar like structures at the side ends of both churches.

Overall, incredible to take in. This part made Chicken extremely nervous though. He didn't like this next part either :\

Down the road to where the highway strip is, a little ways further in the opposite direction is this giant opening, and tucked away in that far corner...

 another cemetery.

I wanted to visit, Chicken became stressed.

But I went in anyway.

Something about me.... the last time I hung out in a cemetery to satisfy my ego was... in high school. I know there's this stereotype with goths going to them and taking photos and whatever, but that shit is whack. It's not cute.

Rant time;

Have some respect for the dead. Leave them alone. They're not your background props for your next social media profile picture. Shit is sacred ground. A place of rest, mourning, gracefulness, and just... respect.

End rant.

When I visit cemeteries, I become the most submissive, tiniest insignificant ego-less little ant. There are crazy energies I pick up on sometimes. Not always, but sometimes.

THIS place... this place did not like that we were there.

Whether or not you believe in the fantastic beyond life, I respect anything that seems bigger than my existence. It's the sole reason why I have so much respect for these places. But um, I made a mistake.  There was a clear, straight path we could walk on. Chicken stayed on it, but stayed close to the gates. I walked the path to the end of the area, and back. But there was a tombstone that caught my attention, with words on it that I wanted to read. I tried to read it from the path, but couldn't make out what it said, so I walked on the grass. Chicken got nervous.

I read the tombstone, and heard Chicken say "don't walk on the grass please." I nodded and hurried back onto the path. He looked at me nervously, nodding his head reiterating to avoid walking on that ground. He was right. And he looked like he wanted to leave immediately. As I turn to walk towards the gate, a strong wind blew in time with my turning to go. It was so strong that it seemed to push me out as I walked towards Chicken, who waited just beyond the gate.

It's silly, but as I walked towards the gate, I said quietly, "alright I'm leaving, I'm leaving. I'm sorry. I heard you"

 My mom and grandmom raised me to listen to energies I can't quite understand or explain. Or that feel like they are beyond me. And that's exactly what I did. Chicken felt something too, and he was glad to get the fuck out of there asap.

Just south of Centralia was a small village named Byrnesville. It had Irish Catholic roots and had been there since the 1800s founded by miners. One of the families had put up this shrine to the Virgin Mary at the edge of the village right off the main road. In the 80s, Byrnesville had to be evacuated because the fires from Centralia were headed right towards it.

Right off the main road is a small off track road that led into Byrnesville. But there's nothing left there anymore. Just... forest.

When we got home, there was always plenty of food waiting for us. I missed having dinner with my family like you don't even believe. 

I also helped my mom prepare tamales for her birthday get together that saturday.

UM. However.

We woke up with 101 fevers that Saturday afternoon. We felt awful. It was so hard to get out of bed. We made it downstairs for breakfast, and I asked my mom for a thermometer. 

We were sick. Not the flu this time. But the cold. It hit us HARD. How did we get sick? No idea. Maybe we weren't drinking enough water, maybe we breathed up something bad while in Centralia. But I remember going to bed into Saturday night... it was extremely warm in the room. Or maybe that was just me. Saturday evening, we both had fevers of 103.

Drugs brought it down to 101 again. I felt bad because extended family was visiting to see my mom for her birthday, and she had prepared so much food for everyone. So I came down. Chicken stayed in the room for a bit, then eventually came down.

The introduction was brief, but he made an impression on everyone ^_^ 

We were in bed all day on Sunday, dying. Felt slightly better on Monday, decided to go see some stuff on Monday. My mom suggested showing Chicken two places in particular!

The last time I was here was in like, elementary school lol. God... 

It's awesome though.

 There's a petting zoo!

It's a tour group thing. We were called, and got led down this huge flight of stairs

 All the way down to the entrance of the caverns. 

 These formations are hundreds of years old

 like, what even

how

Was really bad ass. Especially because I used to read a ton of Forgotten Realms books in high school about Drow and the Underdark, and just.. being in a cave was awesome.

Our next stop wassss... Hershey's Chocolate World!

If you're nearish there, ya gotta go there. That's it. Ya gotta do it.
There have been a few attractions that have been added over the years, but the one people go for is the haunted mansion-esque ride that takes you through the process of making chocolate.

  

And it smells amazing

Yaaaaayyyyy

And then you walk out and it's just like.... The Great Valley but of candy.

We needed to take something from this... so we went through the make your own chocolate bar thing.

Was pretty neat. You pick what kind of chocolate, what toppings go inside and on top, send it through, and get to watch the machines make it.

And then, one day the machines will rise and turn against us and kill us
 with chocolate.

That's me!

I'm not crazy for chocolate, or candy for that matter, but this was still neat. I opted for toffee chips, the rice crispies stuff, and something else lol

I made the most boring package cover. But it's fine because it's my own chocolate bar!

Willy Wonka, eat your heart out.

ewwwww lol I look so little

On the way home, I felt bad because I had to go behind my mom's back for this. But Chicken had to try Neato Burrito! It's the best burrito place ever. I used to work for the owners when they ran a vintage clothing shop/piercing studio. I apprenticed as a piercer there under Mike. Sadly, they closed down Checkered Past, and pursued the expansion of Neato Burrito across a few towns. I'm so glad they did though, because their burritos are unforgettable.

We had one day left before we had to leave. And my parents came to the decision to adopt a new baby.

 After everything they've been through, I think it would do them good to have a little companion. We've had pets for the longest time. We've had dogs, birds, fish, rabbits, guinea pigs, a chicken, a frog, a turtle, a pigeon, eeeevverryyything. There was always a little animal friend around the house. But after everything happened with my mom, they haven't had a little friend.

Her name is Scarlet.

She's half scottish fold. My dad spotted her first. She was 9 weeks old, hopping around like a little bunny on crack. My dad tapped on the glass and she would flip out. As kittens do. They instantly fell in love with her. After filling out the application, and passing the screening with zero issues, she was going to my parents on Thursday. I was sad that I wouldn't be able to be there to meet her officially, but was also relieved that once I left, they'd have something else to look forward to. A new beginning with another little companion in their lives. I just want them to be happy. They deserve so much happiness. I owe them everything.

That afternoon, my mom prepared lunch for us. She asked what we wanted, and, smiling and looking at Chicken, I said "lomo saltado."

I told them lomo is the most popular dish in SoCal at Peruvian restaraunts. My dad asked if it was because there are fries in it. .... lol................... i mean. ... lol.

And ... while going through some old stuff. I found some treasures. 

 This was my very first computer upgrade waaaaay back when.

I had a little compaq computer that believe it or not, my mom had won for me from bingo! Awesome, huh? I told you, she makes it happen!

Star Wars Galaxies came out, but my computer couldn't run it. So... with the guidance of my ex, we picked out this guy and that's when I started learning about assembling computers.

I also found these very serious awards that I think should go in my resume.

One is literally the "Quiet Worker Award" lmao

and the other is a certification stating that I am so excellent with... well.. look at it. If my geekiness is ever doubt... please refer to documents displayed below THANKS SO MUCH.

 these are both from 2nd grade.

Anyway... this is a loaded post but felt overdue. There were a few people I went into details with around when it happened, and they were a great support. I can only hope I can be there for you guys the same way you were there for me.

While this trip was strictly just between family, and them meeting Chicken, I'm still sorry that I kept it so quiet. It was important for us to reconnect and talk and to catch up. I hope that much is understood. Next time I visit, I'll be more vocal about it.

Now, everything is okay. They're fine, I'm in a much better state of mind, and I kind of want chipotle now.

Also night market is coming up and omfg I'm SO READY