Sniffles

    Sitting here alternating between cat napping has been the easiest part of overcoming this stupid flu nonsense that's taken over me. I like to make myself feel better by reminding myself how uncrappy I am that I didn't just not show up to work because of being sick. A lot of people wouldn't give a shit, and probably don't feel it's a big deal.... but I do. ... but I really shouldn't be working. Oh well.

I started watching Attack on Titan on crunchyroll. The theme song always makes me smile because the first time I heard it was on one of PDiddy's cosplay videos. Instantly that memory is triggered and lols.

Today I went home early from work. I'm a little bummed because I also got in my package from ebay, and I can't smell it. I can smell it a little bit, but barely. It's awful. Soon.

But I have been up to a few things. Fun things! ^_^
Including this super cute piece I did for someone.

It's a pea pod! ^_^

They sent me a picture of this children's toy which is a stuffed pea pod that zips up, but one of the peas was outside of the pod. 

They absolutely loved it :D

Earlier this week (I think) I went to see miss Vanna! What was meant to be a chillax day for swimming turned out to be something else that I think helped a lot with me on a bit of a more personal level. I have a lot of pride regarding a certain aspect of myself, and it was addressed, which led me to have a different perspective on things. I am very thankful to have had shared that time with her. But we did go swimming, and we even did the cinnamon challenge-- which I still need to edit... but will be posting on youtube for you. Why? I don't fucking know. I look like shit in it. sigh.

 She ordered us pizza!! It was delish. I've never had pizza with white sauce before. Note taken for future pizza things.

 Obiiiiiii! 

He's a little ball of energy but... 

He also fell asleep in my arm. Cute little cutieface!

 baby steps.

 It started to get a little cooler later in the day so we were pussies and took our sweet time getting in.

 but we did! Yay!

 :D

One of us ended up spitting the cinnamon back out. 

You'll have to wait to see who when I upload the video, lol... 

I ended up leaving her place around 10PMish. 

On my way home I texted Lauren to come over! 

We stayed up late as we normally do when she stays over. I got her into the Netflix series Orange is the New Black and we ended up watching some of it before I called it a night for me. I think she kept watching though, which is awesome. I'm glad she likes it. It's a good show. Very... bizarre kinda. Though I rarely stray away from King of the Hill and Bob's Burgers, I recommend it.

The next day we ran around and did all kinds of stuffs. Went to get coffee, then to I think the Sherman Oaks galleria. We went specifically in search of Bath and Body Works stuff. There, Lauren got a crap load of stuff, and I succumbed to getting two more candles. At least now I can say that I'll be good for a while. She got candles too. One of which was the Pumpkin Pecan Waffles. So good!!!

We also went to Sally's Beauty Supply and got hair stuff. I colored Lauren's hair the previous night a shade darker. It was more subtle than she wanted, so we went back to get something darker. And I got something too. I got this purple black stuff for aging hair. I find that color for gray hair is stronger and lasts longer than standard semi-permanents. It's black, and the purple is very faint, which is perfect. Once we headed home we layed towels everywhere and got to work while watching the rest of OiNB.

 We also got Chipotle. 

It was the most awful debate I've had with myself in a while.

We passed it on our way back here and I started whimpering like an idiot.

She asks me what's wrong and I pout out 'chipotle' 

and she goes we can go if you want!

And I go noooo I have food at home we shouldn't

and she goes no let's go!

and I go nooooo we shouldn't

and she pulls a u-turn in the middle of traffic.

NO TURNING BACK NOW.

so.

Chipotle.

The best thing about having dreadlocks is that any concern about hair damage is just not a thing. 40 volume everything? Hell yeah.

Oh. Look at what she got me at a party she was recently at

It's a little Mami Tomoe in a Kyubey suit! ISN'T IT THE CUTEST!?!? Apparently it's an exclusive item to Aniplex and she snatched one up for me! She's so cute, I love her. Lauren, I mean. I love my little Mami too, hehe. She's on my shelf with all my other things.

There are lots of gifts here, which makes it extra special. Some day I'll have to get another shelf, it's getting so full! There's so much Madoka stuff, lol. 3 of which I hand made! ^_^ eee!

Anywho...

We spent the rest of the day finishing up OiNB and chillaxing on the couch. Oh! I also got her to play Penumbra: Black Plague. She started playing it the day before. She came over for a little bit before I headed over to Vanna's, and played some more when I got back. She loves it! 

When I'm better and less contagious she's gonna come over to play more. I'm trying to convince her into getting a Steam account and Netflix, but I think she's in love with my set up. I don't blame her, it is pretty sexy.

I mean... how could you not wanna spend all your time here. Amirite? The cute stickers all over my monitors are just unbearably undeniable. Llamas and cats and pastries and shit. And bunnies. and kitty paws!

lol ok.

Lauren also surprised me with chicken soup while I was at work yesterday. Super shitty day. Someone decided not to come in, plus me being in crappy sick mode was just ugh. But she brightened my day! That girl is always full of surprises. And then when I got home I checked my email. She told me she had sent me something.

Turns out that while she was at the party, she had the voice actress for Sayaka Miki do a little thing for me to make me feel better! We both know her, her name is Sarah. She's the sweetest chick. But it was such a random and sweet, thoughtful surprise that when I heard it I busted out in joyful squees.

And then she sent me another recording of all of them saying little phrases from the show. Even Kyubey! I'm not savvy enough to put together a sound thing with an image, so just trust me when I say it's cute. :B


Thursday night one of my co-workers was having a birthday thing at his place. I felt bad that I couldn't go to the thingy at the bar the night before. I worked super early both mornings, but another co-worker of mine convinced me into going. That was the day when I really started feeling sick, and once I got home from work pretty much napped until 6ish. Woke up to a text from him and told him I wasn't feeling up to it... he didn't give up that easily lol. He came to get me around 8:45 and we headed over there.

 Birthday boy makes funny faces at me. XD

I wub him. He has such a dry sense of humor

And they played Quidditch beer pong, lol.

We stayed until 10 something, but since I was so awake from sleeping we went to Denny's for some late dinner.

He wore a puppy shirt.

He reminds me a lot of Broken Sword. from Hero. The movie. 

I always tease him about looking Asian. because he kinda does. I dunno HE'S SOMETHING.

He says he's some Philippino and white or something. No one knows.

Whatever. He's Broken Sword. 

Fucking love that movie. 

Today once I got home I made myself chicken soup and tea, and drank a shit ton of water. Started to feel a little better and then washed the windows of my car and cleaned up around the apartment. That apparently was a no no because I started getting a yucky headache and had to lay down. At which point I fell asleep and woke up even more congested again. Waaaah, when will this end!? 

Now I'm drinking mint tea. Steeped extra strong. I can't even taste it lol. It's just minty. 

Boo to working tomorrow. But hooray to a short shift!

and chinese leftovers!!! ^_^

Aromatic

    I'm really excited to start school and kicking myself in the ass for making such a silly mistake. Oh well. The more exciting it will be when I finally start!

It's been absolutely heavenly here these last couple of weeks. Really makes me wish I had my own place. Every time I end up at a store with home decor I start to get all these ideas and wanna go nuts. If I wasn't saving up for school, my car, and cons I'd be all over that shit.

However I did end up finding a gift card while cleaning the living room and decided to head to the mall with it after work.

I was in bright spirits. Still am!

Then I saw this and ugh...
Bath and Body Works is my weakness. Especially when they have sales :(
They ALWAYS have sales. So it's like... infinite weaksauce. I can't help myself. But the timing was perfect because I like candles, and am running low on my supply. Again. So tadaa!! I just love their seasonal Fall candles. They're all so homely and inviting and delicious. I think Fall is my favorite just because caramel apple and pumpkin everything comes out.

I went with Harvest Coffee and Pumpkin Pecan Waffles. Harvest Coffee ended up making my apartment smell like a rich chocolate factory with coffee accents, and the other made it smell like freshly baked sweet caramel pecan pastries coming out of the oven with a hint of pumpkin. I can't even handle this shit right now.

I've also been indulging in more baths. Totally in love. Not just the milk baths but also adding my own scents to it. I really like sweet, warm scents or candy scents. Caramel, Honey, Vanilla... Cotton Candy, Peppermint, Blueberry Muffins, mmpf.... So I took two relaxies this week. One of the milk baths, and the other with my own stuff in it.

I used a mix of my body wash and a body cream from Bath and Body Works and let the hot water mix it all together and let it bubble up. It was heavenly.

It leaves your skin feeling so soft and soothes the senses. You could just melt x___x ugh.

The milk baths are also really, really soothing.

I wish showers weren't so convenient! Otherwise I'd do this every single day! haha

but I am happy with my yummy smelling things! 

I also got another commission that I'm just about finished with. And have been keeping myself occupied more or less with WoW and Amnesia. 

If you want to watch I go into it a little more in my last video. And make an idiot of myself lol

Also yesterday I got to do something super exciting! 

One of my bros took me to see a theater! Everything was closed down and whatever, but he used to teach at one of them and had keys, so we went and it was so cute! 

Of course we busted out Phantom of the Opera songs all busted like.

This reminded me a lot of that one time in Jr. High School when a friend and I went upstairs in the backstage area of the theater and looked through all the props and boxes of stuff, and costumes. It was so exciting, like an adventure. I think we skipped lunch or something, I don't remember. But it was in this little attic like room, totally dark and full of drama stuff. 

I especially loved that this is a brick building, which made it even cuter. There was a big space area in the back with a whole bunch of stuff. It was really fun. There's another theater that he wanted to show me, but it got kinda late, so maybe another time. 

It reminded me of something sort of out of Fallout. The chairs and colors of everything.

I have a new appreciation for chicken. I never used to care for it, and thought it was rather bland. That is until I had chicken thighs. SO much tastier! And now it's a thing. I slow cooked chicken thighs with some butter for like an hour, and am eating it over rice with an egg sunny-side up. So much protein! And yumminess!

MASQUERAAAADE. PAPER FACES ON PARAAAADE. MASQUERAAADE. 

Hide your face so the world will never find you.

Notte

  Even though I woke up at 3 am yesterday, I didn't nap! That's kind of a big deal lol. I was really excited to give a co-worker his commission that he ordered from me. It came out so so so cute. He gave me complete artistic freedom with it. He wanted a cutesy, girly unicorn.

I wanted to keep it for myself!! It's so cute! Unfortunately I didn't see him at work, and left it there for him. I hope he likes it! Everyone else that saw it there also thought it was great, and I even have someone already commissioning me to make them stuff. Hooray!

Just to put it out there, I do and am taking commissions in addition to what I sell on my Etsy (see above for link to my store).
The prices run the same: all depending on how elaborate the piece will be.

For example:  They can be simple, straightforward charms,

 or have more detail and colors/texturing

Please keep in mind that with hand made items, it's not just the charm you are paying for, but also the time that gets put into creating them! ^_^

If you are interested in commissioning a piece from me, you can contact me through any of the media portals linked at the top of this page, or email me personally at galaxialgrave@gmail.com.
I use Paypal only and currently only ship within the US.
Once I get over my nervousness at the post office I will figure out international shipping.



So I went home and changed to meet up with Vanna banana to discuss stuff regarding ... stuff. We went to italy.

Aaaaand we caaaaaaallll it bbeeeeeeeella noootteee

I told her the ideas I had and themes that would seem appropriate for our tastes, and the process of establishing a roster. It felt great when she nodded in agreement, completely on the same page.
There are a few little things that still need smoothed out around the edges, but she said she will be working on it. I can't wait to start!

We hung out at her place the rest of the day. There was one point where we drove back here to get my bathing suit. She has a pool that she never uses. She says no one ever wants to go swimming. HOW? I miss swimming! If I had a pool I'd be in there all the time, fuck that. lol
So we came here to grab that. When we got back there, I had to park a little ways away because parking is awful at night. My stupid ass forgot the reason we left in the first place in my backseat, so we didn't get to go swimming. lol.
It had gotten much chillier outside anywho, but.... next time. NEXT time.

We ended up watching an intense WWII movie that had me bawling my eyes out. I don't like watching movies much... but as long as they're not chick movies or have much romance in them and I don't have anything else going on at that moment, I'll give it a try. Vanna said it best when she said she preferred those intense, sad, heart wrenching movies because it makes her realize that life is good. I feel similar.
We watched The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. UGGGHHH. UGGGGH YOU GUISE. UGH.

What the fuck. God my heart. uuuuuugggggggggh.

I suggested she watch The Stoning of Soraya M. UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.

God.

One I still wanna watch is Not without my Daughter. Lauren suggested it. It's about an American mom trying to escape Iran because her husband's a dick that got them trapped there. I haven't watched it yet because it feels like there's a lot of lovey-dovey stuff. Like, there's a pre-existing loving relationship that the protagonist is trying to salvage at whatever means it'll take, which is a plot already played out a lot in many different ways... but still the same plot.

That's her and Obi. Obi likes his shirt. lol. He's such a fun little ball of energy.

Before I headed over to Vanna's I set up an appointment to get a new tire for my car. The front left tire had a leak in it, and I've noticed that it's been getting worse and flattening out faster. So I went to Firestone right after work. They took a look at everything and said it was fine. But also said that the right tire was bald. They both were. So I said fuck it and got two tires instead of one. They worked on my baby for about 45 minutes. I got to watch ^_^

At first they thought it would take an hour and a half because they didn't think they had the tires I needed at that location. But they did! They had 4. Phew! So they started on it and I was so happy!
I'm glad I did it as soon as I did. Two new tires definitely would've been much much much better than just one, lol.
And now the car drives much smoother and I can tell the difference. I feel bad for putting it off for as long as I have! Truth be told I was intimidated with car maintenance. Oh well. I got over it XD
Sadly though, they couldn't use the hubcap I bought a while ago to replace the cracked on on there now. It's too big. Sooooo I'll have to get another one that's the right size. I'm an idiot :D

but a happy idiot! ^_^

With clean pillow sheets and towels. Woot! 

Fan girl

Orgy was probably my favorite band of all time for several years throughout Jr. High and High school. I think the first time I just was like omg for them was when I saw their Blue Monday video, I forget what channel it was on. Maybe TRL? 

 

 I absolutely adored Jay Gordon, the front man. I won't go into why, but I had both Candyass and Vapor Trasnmission. And their singles. Unfortunately, I lived in a city that doesn't get a lot of tour visits, and was too young to think driving a few hours somewhere to see a band was a BIG IMPOSSIBLE THING -- as I just didn't go out anywhere. So unfortunately, I was never able to see them live. 

I remember the first time I watched an episode of CRIBs on MTV at Bobby's house. I lost my shit.

It was really, really, really awesome to me that I got to see them or something about them on a more personal level than just band stuff. 

Once Punk Statik Paranoia came out I began to let go a little bit. I don't wanna talk about it. But Orgy had always been special to me. My school mates would tease playfully because they knew how much I loved Orgy. It was kinda silly, you guys. 

I shouldn't be surprised that on Saturday night I got to meet the man I admired so much growing up (again). I got nervous. I saw him walk into my work one time, but it was very brief, and I couldn't bring myself to fan girl while he was trying to be on his way. But I am happy to say that I was able to chat with him for a little bit, in between the people bombarding him, and even got a good bye poke as he passed me on his way out. 

I have fat face going on, and he looks very different. It's safe to say that he's completely over the old style Orgy had back in the day. It's his band, so he can do that. But... I got to talk to him. Aaaand I never thought that this day would even be possible. It's still kind of unreal to me. He's probably the only person in this shanky city that would humble me to the core, and be something worth mentioning the way I am doing so now. It's a big deal to me. 

Yay! :)

That night I went to Bar Sinister with Vanna banana. We had a really good time. Had girlie talks and danced all goofy like. It was fun. 

Not the most flattering picture but.... what are ya gonna do? 

Flash sucks.

Vanna and I have been flirting with the idea of starting a specific dance troupe for a few months now. We still have much to discuss, but I look forward to it. It could be sort of a thing. :)

Each of these 3 images has a different attitude. I dunno, I found that fun. Wasn't deliberate. It's like seeing 3 sides of me.

Also, I had to show you all this...

Isn't it the cutest!? 

This was done by Kora. I've known her for several years and is also a big Psyclon Nine fan. She did another rendition of me as a gift for my birthday!! I love it!! 

She got my hair and used colors I like, and tentacles!!! hahahaha it's great
Thank you SO much! You are very talented :)

With that, I bid you all adieu! I've been having a lot of fun with WoW's pet battling thing... 

I know... it's stupid and childish and dumb and silly but what can I say? It's fun seeing my favorite pets leveling up and getting stronger and kicking butt! EGBERT IS DOING SO GOOOD! ^_^

Egbert is on the left. He's also in the header image. hahaha I love Egbert ^_^

Evaluation: Insecure

  Hindsight is 20/20, they say. 

And I feel that just for the sake of maybe helping someone that may read this, I'm going to tell all.


I commend the boyfriends who perform that have girlfriends who cannot keep to their own lives, and feel they need to be involved and somewhat live vicariously through their lovers' successes through whatever means that may be.
Gentlemen... the patience you have goes unnoticed by many, and understood also by many, but in silence. For Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Or one that's just really bored and posessive.

The irony is... I was exactly that kind of girlfriend. I felt I needed to be involved, and included, in something that had absolutely nothing to do with me whatsoever. I took it personally when I was told to butt out. When he would go out of his way to make me feel like I was a part of what he did, it wasn't ever enough. I wanted more. So I would feel better about myself, and also as a means to validate my involvement, and my status-- even though no one really gives a shit. I never went as far as to talk and tell everyone and all the fans about us, or put on a show on the internet- I didn't need that, but I did want to be a part of that world- at the time... and looking back on that now, I looked like a fucking annoying, bitchy, clingy, insecure little tag-along tool that needed to get a hobby and some self confidence.


But I am thankful for my experiences, for they've put so many things in perspective for me.

It shows. It shows when she's eager to be involved. It shows when he wants her to back off. It shows when she goes out of her way to investigate, and finally, because of her own convoluted thoughts and insecurities, she comes up with imaginary scenarios in her head that she convinces herself are true, because she's not in the know of everything 100%.

I know, because I used to do that too. And I recognize it a mile away. And let me tell you... it shows.

It embarrasses me that we as women need that type of security to feel validated in a relationship with a performer. And it makes me feel sorry for the men that have to introduce this process to the girlfriend for the first time, and deal with it every time. But I hope this puts something in perspective for you too.
It also shows that this blog, that I personally run, by myself, and write in, and single-handedly upload my own pictures onto from only one possible source... is not just 'the internet.' I know this because I don't take a lot of what I post here and throw it all over the internet. And I don't think that many others do.

It's.... something else, and it shows.


He says what you wanna hear so the bitching ends. It makes you feel better for the moment, but it will never be enough. Not until you get some confidence, a passion, a goal, and a clue.


It took me a few years to get to this point. But now that I did... get a hobby. Get some confidence. Tell yourself all the things you think you need to until it sinks in that you are a completely different entity than him and what he does, and that is absolutely okay- because you also have your shit to do.
And if you don't... find it. The kiddies/fans may make you feel good, but if you can't go a single day without feeling validated by them, by his work/hobbys' residual stragglers... then... I truly, and honestly, from the bottom of my soul, wish you all the best and hope that you find the thing you want to achieve for yourself, and let go of his passion to work on your own.


I may be a jerk, but I don't need "the internet" to validate my worth to someone else, or to fight my battles for me. Because that's just really fucking stupid lol
(ask him if I'm right. Just kidding, it's a bad idea.)

 S M I L E

All the world is a stage on "the internet", isn't it?

Have an awesome day!