Mort

aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHOKAY.

What's going on... soo much. RECAP: *swirly rewind noise* errrhrrrerrrererhreee-

• School blew up in my face again. Dumbest oversight. I can look at it as the universe telling me that right now isn't a good time... OR I can beat myself up over it. Both equally frustrating perspectives. MEH.
• SUMMER BREAK MWAHAHHAHA (until Fall semester starts) 
• WORK IS FUN YAY

 

And uh... yeah. That's the tldr.
Since we don't go out, I'm really grateful for the huge back yard and garden we have. It's a bit thing of land with tons of fruit trees and plants, and we'll go for a stroll sometimes when being inside for too long gets icky. Here's one of our regulars; Chubbs. He cackles at the cats in the morning from our roof.

I wanna get close to him. But he runs away :(
One day, I'll give him lots of yummy snacks and earn his trust and hold him and love him and kiss him and make him a cute wittle house outside with all the yummy noms and we'll be best friends and take pictures and and and and

And Chicken got a new camera. He's been wanting to explore photography. You'd think my vanity would be excited for this. I did get an itch to make youtube videos though. More on that later.

We have a couple of orange trees. A few weeks ago, when the blossoms were in bloom, their smell completely took over and it was the nicest thing to walk out to. The bees were really happy



Aside from our little walks in our garden, another way I can enjoy the outdoors is driving to and from cemeteries during work. They haven't been insanely long drives, but are always pleasant. I never wanna take that for granted.

OH YEAH. I thought it'd be a good idea to bring a durian to work. Why?

I mean... if you've ever had the experience of being repulsed by this fruit, please enjoy this whole... situation.

durian; a funeral director's weakness

Several of my colleagues weren't bothered by it; smell or flavor. Only a few found it unsavory. I was just glad they were open to trying it. Proud of em :D


YOUTOOM STUFF. I don't really wanna talk about it, because I don't wanna do it for any purpose other than for my own catharsis. There are only so many people I can whine to about the stuff I wanna talk about. So I did one video a while back. And then I went to film another one and got distracted lol. It never saw the light of day. But I filmed it in our attic.

We've been eating everything. My mom sent me maize, and when we all had a weekend to spend together, we prepared a bunch of stuff.

In Peru, street food is everywhere. And the thing you'll see most as far as desserts go is rice pudding and anything chicha morada. A juice or gelatin made with purple maize. They go hand in hand. Cinnamon is crucial. If your chicha doesn't have cinnamon and lime... TRASH.

Jk.

kinda.

arroz con leche is a must. whole ass cinnamon stick and cloves are the magic ingredients. make it right.

Aaaand of course, seco de res. I fucked up tho because I got the wrong type of beef meat. Not all beef is created equal, I learned that day. This is why.... I stick to my regular stuff. Idk why I chose this other stuff, I think the market was all out of the stewed beef I normally use and went with... idk something else. And I just... ugh. It's fine. Was still good.

Chicken manned the grill with all kinds of yummy stuff

So much food. We had more. It was a good day. Food coma.


Ah yes, I'm also happy to state that I am fully vaccinated. There's supposed to be a 3rd vaccine expected for August but for now, we here at the Cynthia vessel are, for the most part, sufficiently protected from the domestic strain. Hooraaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy.

I wanted to be stubbornly strong and went in to work the next day. My immune system agro'd, so my body succumbed to a low fever towards the end of my work day. They told me to just go home and rest lol.

murc.
Chicken got his holiday gift from Blizz. All tiki mug collectors rejoin. Some of them were pretty cool, others ... I can't even imagine what kind of drinks would be fit to even be enjoyed out of some of them. Simply none seem WORTHY. Cool, though.



One of my favorite people I've met through work, one day brought cream cheese and salomi slices. She said she heard someone saying how bomb it is.

I didn't try it, but am curious. ONE DAY. It just... I found it so random and bizarre that it stuck with me. Now forever documented here. I'll have to try it.

This is me at work mostly. It's dope.

And Chicken finally got around to building his xmas gift. He gave a whole presentation and everything once he was done.

With sound effects. For each phase. It was actually really informative and fun lolol. That space nerd.

 
I CAN'T TELL YOU how amazing some days are. The families we get the honor of assisting will show gratitude in so many ways- and one of those ways is by FEEDING US.

If you know, you know.
Salamat po, indeed.

Aaaand Chicken's bday fell on the same day he went to get his 2nd dose! He ended up with new schmancy driving gloves. I couldn't resist.
Additionally, Blizz was awesome a set up a vaccination site for everyone. So we went back to campus. I got to see Lifa again! It was nice, but also super quick. They gave him this cute Mercy sticker.

Later that evening, we celebrated with some ube cake :D

So, one of the things I like most about where I work is that many of us have a lot of things in common. One of those is fascination with .... fucking with skin and shit. When my coworker came back from an outing, she had forgotten to put on sunscreen and her alabaster white skin got insanely roasted. After the 4th day, we had a field day on her back. It was soooooooooooooooooooooo goooooooood omfg

My other colleague was SO into it, and I felt normal. The best part was like... how when the skin gets peeled back, it's wet underneath. Yessssssss ugh.


My poor innocent brain. I saw one of my bosses dressing her coffee in this cute Aurora mug, and I was like omg is that your favorite disney princess??

"The casket company?"

When I tell you we laughed like idiots... please believe me.

One of my services ended at this beautiful view with the Buddhist columbarium in the distance.

One of these days, when I can peel myself away from my pixelated escapism traps, I'll visit there.


I also recently learned that there's a manga based on Sadako at the end of the world. A distopian world, you could say. It's really cute.

Like, too cute. These two girls come across her tape, watch it, Sadako comes out and is like.... using other stuff to communicate with them and they think it's a game. Cuz they're all kids. And Sadako realizes if she kills them, her curse will end.... cuz everyone else died or whatever. So they go on an adventure to find more people. It's so pure and wholesome but like... cute and creepy. Ugh. Can I adopt her? Sadako? How do I adopt a child ghost pls





SO RECENTLYISH, I found out one of my coworkers is a closeted weeb. She told me she loves BL, but barnes & noble hardly ever carries anything she likes. and I was like QORL. SWEETIE. OH NO. LETS... LEMME FIX THAT FOR YOU.

 

And dragged her ass to Little Tokyo with me after work.

She was so happy. And seeing her happy made me happy. It felt like... I just turned in a quest or something and my reward was her reaction lmao.

She wanted ramen, so we went to the most overrated ramen spot in Little Tokyo. First time exposure, had to do it. I told her we should get drinks to celebrate.

Cheers and happy food coma to new experiences!

Man, that's gotta be one of the coolest feelings~ taking someone to experience something for the first time. And then they enjoy themselves. That's like.... so energizing and pure. One of the best energies in the world. If I could feel this confident about a lot of my interests with other people who cross my path in life, I'd be high on life every day. But alas, some of the things I like are kinda weird and gross or too niche. So this was like, a treasure.

We went to all of the shops. Except for Jungle! I wanted to take her there, but there was a massive line to get in. I told her next time, it's a must.

She got a metric ton of stuff. She was ready to drop paper lmao. I'm happy though. She had a good time and made the most of it. It was a bucket list thing for her- she just never wanted to go on her own. I mean who does?? (except me. I don't mind going on my own BUT-)

MISSION COMPLETE.


My future sis in law brought me durian desserts. I love her so much lol.

Another little nice thing from work. One of our escorts always brings little candies. He's so funny. He sees me and whoever I'm with and come towards us. I'll waddle towards him like a frightened crab and that's when he knows. that I know. that he knows I know. the candy's coming out LOL

My pin pack came in. I've been trying to find something like this, and this one just came out. Perfect timing. I love it so much.

The person who does these has all kinds of pins from medical and anatomical professions. Nurses, doctors, dentists, phlebotomists, xray techs, pathologists, EVERYTHING. It's so badass.

radgirlcreations.com

What else can I say?

This is meeeee. I've decided to grow out my hair. It's not something I necessarily am 100% happy to do, but also don't care as much as I used to. It's just hair, at the end of the day. I can shave it off again. I guess I rather just see where the lack of maintenance goes and how much more I prefer ignoring my hair rather than upkeeping with clipping.

Classes are over, finally. I have summer break to enjoy without added stress. Very much looking forward to that.

Work is challenging, but every day is different, and I learn stuff constantly. There so much I'm learning still. And I'm grateful to my team for their support and feedback. It's constant, but I know it's for my growth.
That said, I love the work that I do. I wanna be able to say that a year from now. 5 years from now. 10 years from now. In however way the industry evolves and I with it, I wanna grow with it and overcome everything it throws at me. Cuz I genuinely love the work that I do. Words can't express it. There's more though. I'm not where I wanna be yet, but I'm closer.


Enough of that! GAMES.

Yomawari: Night Alone:

I haven't finished it yet. But it's cute.


Resident Evil 8:

When I fell down the well, had to get that Sadako POV. *chef's kiss*


Little Nightmares II:

This game is gorgeous. Straight up... so pretty. The levels are incredible. I could gush about this game's art style and level designs probably forever.


Yakuza 0:

This game had me by the balls. Emotionally. Again. Fuck.


Genshin Impact:

A funeral director and a jiangshi walk into a bar...




Anyway. One last little thing that made me super happy.
For a while now, I've been wanting to get one of Tokyo Jesus' custom figures. He's gotta be up there as a favorite artist. Him and lichelets. Are like... artistic gods in my eyes. Anywho... I finally got my hands on one, and it came today!

To my suprise, he added a print to my order! Aaand look at this attention to detail.

The print was sandwiched between two protective cardboard layers, taped together. But he folded in the edges of the tape so they're easy to peel back. That's so consciensious. Like... damn. Thank you for that extra little step. It left such an impression on me LOL

Ahhh, she's beautiful! I had no clue he was sending this print. This will be my second one of his. I have some prints I wanna get framed but there's honestly no where I wanna put them up right now. Though this was a nice reminder to get on top of that.


And heeeere's my little yokai! It's perfect omfg

4/40
Ho boy!

Imma get more. But not just for the sake of having them. I saw this one and was like.... dayum. I need that. It hit different. Y'know?


And lastly... last night, something bit me in the ass to do the dumbest cosplay in the world. This took a whole of like 3.5 minutes. I literally grabbed a bunch of veils from my closet, threw them on myself, grabbed my anatomical model and threw those little mesh laundry sacks on him.

Poor Chicken. That man tolerates so much of my dumb shit lol. If you don't get it, it's probably better that way. I had to cover Bob's weiner. But yeah. She's my favorite RE8 character..s..?


WELP. I GOTTA SLEEP NOW. Thanks for reading. I miss writing. k bye

Spicy

 Oh no! Can you feel it? I can feel it... that slack. First it's one week, then ... another. And then another. And then.... we never heard from her again. The HARRAH. I don't wanna fall into it but it's creepin. IT'S CREEPIN. Can't stop. I'm not even gonna make excuses though, I just straight up am tired after getting home from work. My selfishness with time management is ... ze biggest.

I'm good though. LOTS OF CUTE THINGS AROUND ME. And it's all because of Chicken. The man has been spoiling me with small, simple pleasures. He always asks me "do you need anything?" while he's ordering stuff off amazon. And I can never think of something. At most, basic necessities. Toothbrushes. Toothpaste. Razors. Idk. But he just stares, because those are the wrong answer.

Very recently, he not only got me this cute notebook, but 4 new bras, plus an organizer for my intimates drawer. Desaturation felt sufficient enough to defuse spicy visuals that are best left ambiguous.
When it comes to clothes, I don't care much about organizing. If it's folded and put away out of sight, I'm happy.
On top of that, for probably most of my life, I'd been wearing the wrong size bra lmao. I tried to measure myself once, but butchered that attempt and forfeited the notion forever. He recently measured me (thanks to internets) and insisted on trying the correct size. I said "eventually" I'll get to it. Because it's not that big of a deal. I've been wearing the wrong size, what's another lifetime, right? It's only 2 cup sizes off lmao IT'S FINE.

Suffice to say.. the new ones he got me fit insanely well, are actually comfortable, support, sit nicely, and feel good to wear! And with the organizers, well... I can find stuff easier. Sometimes when I'd ask him to grab something out for me, he'd struggle because it's just a void of black.
Now it's a compartmentalized void, with varying planes of shadow and texture. Hooray!

He also got me new pens and highlighters for my journaling!! The ones I was using were dumpy. Like... Daiso-after 1 year of usage-dumpy.

He's always asking me if I want anything else.
That's a generosity I've experienced many, many times throughout my life. And I'm extremely grateful and fortunate to have met and known so many generous people with big hearts. Absolutely an act that I never want to take for granted. I think that's why I feel like there isn't much more that I want. I'm good. Even when I'm not good... always counting my blessings. The small stuff is amazing.
I know Chicken wants to shower me with all of the things. But I hope he knows that him just wanting to do that is more than enough for me. Unless it's all-you-can-eat sushi, then I'm not gonna say no LOL.

That said, I do admit that these pens are dope. Sharpies are too. So are the organizers lol. And I guess wearing the correct bra size is up there. So THANK YOU CHICKEN. Sometimes I guess shutting up is the best thing for me :3

OOH IT'S RAINING

He's been doing a lot on his Miata. It's cute.

Idk much about cars, but seeing him go all out and being passionate about his car(s) is awesome. He even got a jumper suit.

Man, when COVID stuff actually calms down to a legitimately safe measure, we're gonna hit up all the car meets lol. At least all the ones near LA.

Work!

How's work going?
It's a lot. There's nothing like it that I can compare it to. And I love that about it. Sometimes it's hectic, sometimes it's focus focus focus, sometimes I'm crying in the foyer because a family put "Remember Me" from Pixar's Coco in their memorial video and I can't let them see me lose it like that. Sometimes I get to go on rides to all kinds of places. And sometimes furry babies are brought in ^_^

She stole the show that day. And seemed perfectly contented to do so.

Also I just wanna point out... that while a lot of people may think durian smells like... rotting stuff.... I brought in durian rolls to work and ate them in the office.. and everyone was unbothered by the smell.

I gave them a heads up mind you! I said I'm gonna go to my car because my lunch is stinky, and they were like pshhh it's fine just eat here. And I was like... don't say you weren't warned!
And they literally were like... "huh."
Someone said it smelled like mango. Someone else said it smelled like gas from the stove - which others agreed with.
One day I'm gonna bring in an actual durian for them to all try.
With permission first, of course :3
But I don't know how that's gonna work out because the smell might be too strong and go into the front. And that would be very, very bad.


OMG So I've been going off about Hu Tao in Genshin Impact and when she finally was released to drop, Chicken and I rolled for her.



I SCREAMED

He was cracking up. There were no words.
I got up and walked out lmao. Felt spicyyy
The good news is that I got Hu Tao on my 3rd 10 roll. The bad news (for me) is that I didn't get Qiqi. But HE GOT QIQI AND THEN GOT HU TAO
uuuuggggghhh. What a world.
It's fine because we got to take cute screenshots in the game together. SIGH.

Another good thing is that since I'm out now because of work, I can stop by the market on my way home instead of dragging myself out of the house when I don't want to go anywhere. So I restocked on drinks :D

What day is it. I don't know that I'm gonna keep up with the every Friday thing anymore. But I will continue to write and post. Just... whenever. I'm also contemplating another avenue of expression because there's a lot that I wanna talk about and would appreciate other peoples' thoughts on the it. But we'll see how that goes.

ghlkdajfljeoiajfdlkjfa;lkdfj;dkljf
I dont know what else to write. So I leave you all now with this

A mason jar overflowing with Taco Bell diablo sauce.
May it bring you lots of good fortune, better spicy food tolerance, flavorful meals, and the strength to wear a mask until it's safe again.

Bless up.

Btw I was literally blessed like a week ago, he sprinkled holy water on me while I was at the back of the chapel during a service. I was like hell yeah, that's dope thanks yo. He couldn't say anything back tho because he was singing.

Ok bye

Durian...?

  WHAT DAY IS IT
The days blur together. They do this when I'm unemployed, and also when I'm working and running around doing all of the things. Days... STAHP IT.

It's Sunday night now. Which means... class tomorrow. It's also the first of the month. Which means... the day after will be March 2... which means... 

MY BELOVED HU TAO WILL GO LIVE and she'll get her own banner and and and ... I'm more excited for her than anything else. I've been saving up for her and I just.... sigh. I JUST WANT HER. And Qiqi but.. I'll be happy with Hu Tao.

Context: Playable character in Genshin Impact who is a funeral director for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. She wants to bury Qiqi because Qiqi is a jiangshi. Qiqi dislikes Hu Tao. Hu Tao neither likes nor dislikes Qiqi, she just feels that because Qiqi is dead, she should be in a casket, or in the ground, or exorcised, or something. Hu Tao also likes ghosts.


I just.

She's so.

Words escape me.


This is the representation I've dreamed of...  (aside from someday seeing a hairstyle to the one I had) somewhere in video games other than a Sims 2 mod. But like. Oh my god T_T OH MY GOD I could cry.

I wanna cosplay herrrrrr which means bootleg costume LOL but that's fine because I don't have the motivation to make another cosplay in between work and class.
Actually... the more I think about it... I don't think I need to buy her costume. I dress similarly to that anyway, so........hmmm... maybe... idk. it's fine. Whatever. WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS. Either way... I wanna do something.. regarding her. Idk what tho. Probably make a pillow of her ghost or something, like how I rage-made my Gastly pillow.


Moving along to other stuff.

There is no other stuff LOL. I just work and have class. But am having a lot of fun and learning a lot. I'm feeling more comfortable doing services by myself. It's always more of a challenge with front facing tasks, but I'm navigating that with the utmost care and deliberation.

I'm also getting back into producing and editing video stuff. For work, not me. I'm crunchy, but it's all slowly coming back to me.

CRUNCHY.

There so much stuff I wanna talk about. SO much. Because my brain is always analyzing and associating stuff with memory. For example...  the durian phenomenon...

If you know, you know.
For many... the smell of durian is foul. Vile. Rotten. Vomit inducing. The appearance of tiny lungs inside this thing can also be off-putting to some.
I am unbothered by any of it. In fact, I like it and am fascinated by the layers I smell and how my mind races to recall what those complexities remind me of. (When it comes to consuming this fruit, I think it's actually really tasty.)


Are we... picking up what I'm putting down?
Just the fruit. We only eat the fruit.
.. you get it, right?

Ok.

Double entendre aside, durian is amazing, delicious, and it's good for you.
And now I want some. It tastes like sweet, buttery mango with a little bit of sweet french onion undertones. So yummy.
ANYWAY.

Yeah back to stuff I wanna talk about but uh... resort to durians as a contextual crutch.

I just turned and looked at Chicken and went "do you wanna go to Phoenix cafe tomorrow maybe...?" And he's like lol... "do you want durian cakes?"

CURSES...FOILED AGAIN! He knows too much. He didn't even know that I'm writing about durians again. He's not wrong tho. I do want durian cakes lol.


CHICKENS?!

Chicken!
I mean, they're doves, but.... looookit aaaaawwwww doooose CHIIIICKENS
I had my first graveside service recently and our chicken guy brought them and and and

One of the little girls got to hold and release a dove, and I was lowkey jealous LOL. Oscar - chicken guy- was like omg c'mere you can pet them and I was like nooooooooooooooo not right now and he was like it's okay! come pet them! and I was like nooooooooooooooooooo (but I SO WANTED TO)

I couldn't. Just because I didn't wanna be a squeaking, blabbering idiot that started crying while holding a dove and start screaming "CHIIICKEN...ISSO CYOOOOOOOOOO" in front of a mourning family

Because I will cry.

So, in case anyone's curious. They're homing doves. They're trained to fly back to their home base as a group. So when the little girl let the one go, it just kinda hung out until the others were released, and they call gather and fly off, eventually to return. Some were marked blue, and some were because... because.. BECAUSE SOME WERE STILL IN TRAINING UWU

He told the family that and they were like omg that's SOO CYOOOOO and I was like awwwww that IS so cyooooo uwu (but didn't say it).

Next time, if pets are afforded to me, I may find it difficult to refuse. But only covertly. I was lucky this time because we arrived early, so my coworker let me use her phone to take pictures LOL.

Today I went on a first call. This license plate is very LA.

First time at the coroner's office!
Also... the first time I've been in LA in like 2 years, or even anywhere near Little Tokyo.
Sigh.

I miss Little Tokyo T_T
We're a lot closer and I just... wanna go. But we have to be good.

I don't wanna say how I know this but there are, in fact, people who are leaving their house to go out and do things while sick. It's extremely fucked up. So... we're still being very careful. But a part of me feels like because LA has started being lax on stuff, people are forgetting themselves and are starting to casually go out again. And it just... it's depressing. We could've been out of this a long time ago. But people still wanna go out to bars, or go out to eat, or the gym, or whatever.

COVID-19 is still a thing. It's still contagious. It's still dangerous. And it's still killing people.
But whatever, what do I know?

(that was SO rhetorical that I think all sarcasm has been purified from my being just from how hard my eyes rolled back into my heaed.)

My mommy sent me stuff. She's so amazing.
Inventory!

• Maiz - purple corn that we use in Peru to make desserts, drinks, candies.
• Flan! because flan!
• Shells & Cheese! Me and my mom would go to Aldi's to get groceries and she would always buy shells and cheese and prepare it for me. It's very special.
• chili cream sauces! Peru has a lot of pureed sauces in cuisine made from various peppers. She was able to find some premade sauces for me to try. She says they're pretty good for what they are :D I trust her.

Ahh, I miss my mom and dad so much. So, so much. I'd go see them but, lol that'd be extremely fucked up to do right now all things considered.


SO HERE IS A CUTE, FUZZY, SMOL, JUMPING SPIDER I FOUND IN THE BACK YARD

So itty bitty and fuzzy. I wanted to give it pets. Jumping spiders are adorable, it's not fair. HOW DO I GIVE IT KISSIES AND LOVES!?


Am tired. Want durian. Did I finish homework? I think I did. I don't even know. I just wanna sleep. Pretty sure I did though.

K I go.
Eat durian, it smells cool.
K bye

wear a mask and
if you're SICK
DON'T FUCKING GO OUT??

kbye