404

    And they drop, drop, drop like flies.


Forgive the lack of images in this post. I've been slacking with photos just because going through the ones I do take to edit has become a massive chore.

This will also be a bit of a personal post as well, so... don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm in almost done with yet another commission! This one will be a little harder for me because it entails a texture I've never done before- outstretched wings.

This is the reference picture I was provided. 

It's a piggy with wings! 

After some investigation I tracked the artist down and found some more paintings of his that have pigs in similar positions. This has been really helpful because idkwtf I'm doing with wings, lol. But it's fun! Definitely a challenge, for sure.

I'm also working on another project, but that will have to wait to be revealed later. I assure you... it's awesome. I'm quite proud of how it's come out so far. ^_^

OH. Saturday evening I hung out with Ponies again. 

We went out to dinner at Shojin, this vegan sushi place in Little Tokyo that I've been to only once before for his birthday dinner a few years ago. It's a lovely place. They infuse their water with fruit and it tastes like good things. The most delicious water I've ever had in my life.
We stuffed our faces there and then split for NoHo because our friend was celebrating her birthday party there at someones' house. Care and Blanca! 

I've mentioned them before. I always forget this happened but I vomited at their place once because Blanca made these strawberry lemonade alcoholic drink things and they tasted like juice and I couldn't stop drinking them, and apparently I dropped my head on the table and passed out.
Ponies stayed the whole night with me and I woke up on their couch puking up kawaii pink barf.

Isn't that attractive? 

I think it was actually the Saturday morning that Blizzcon tickets were gonna sell... I don't remember. Maybe that was the other time I went. I dunno. ANYWHO, Care and Blanca are awesome. 

The party was held in the back yard, which was huge. There was a fire pit thingy, and a DJ, lots of outdoor Zombie dècor, and tons and tons of food.

As more people showed up, the closer I got to the fire pit. I literally put myself in charge of keeping the fire alive throughout the night. It was the best thing ever. I felt like an elf in a forest during the winter, just scraping by in the cold of night desperately trying to survive with this measly little fire that wouldn't burn to its neato potential (because the 2x4 pieces of wood weren't completely dry) but I fanned that fucker to life and kept it alive all night with the help of crappy beer boxes that wouldn't light, napkins, paper plates, and scavenged tree branches.

People got down and funky, and of course the cops were called. 

Man, Porto's has some good baked goods. I underestimate them. Too bad I don't care that much, but if I did... I'd go there to eat again. 

--Anyway.. all in all it was a really fun night. It ended with Ponies handing me a gift from Spain that he encountered off of a street artist. 

 It's a framed scripture of what is titled; "Definition of Friendship"

written in Spanish, with a little girl drawn onto it.

It's incredibly lovely, and reading this made me feel a calm that I didn't know I needed.

I am talking to someone about an apprenticeship in the field I want to pursue, and it's possibly the most exciting thing ever to happen to me. My hopes are up, sadly, and I'm honestly and truly hoping and crossing my fingers for some good news. When all that crash and burns I can always look back on this post and tell myself "now why the hell did you get your hopes up?"


Also this year will not be short of cons. I will be dragging the boy to Long Beach Comic Con (as he's never been to a con before) to view all of the splendors and things. How awesome would it be if he wears his Boba Fett helmet. Admittedly, I'll have a difficult time keeping my hands off of him though.

Also Bat's Day this year is a definite. I will be assisting InkBleed Books in boothing again- woohoo! I'm stoked for the 4th book. My favorite character is the unnamed "Maddie's BFF." He's an idiot, but he's hilarious.

I just want to document that as of lately I've been feeling so much better about the things and people in my life. 
My job doesn't suck like it once did, and has improved and is still improving tenfold.
I have a new plan for school that won't leave me feeling like a total failure again.
This apprenticeship may be a thing, and if it is I don't even know if I'll be able to not implode from joy.
Fett has been so wonderful with me. His understanding and empathy is endless. From the moment his sneaky ass turned our casual 'hey wanna come with to go run this errand I have to do?' to a lunch date, to lovelier fun and new experiences following that, to this point I haven't felt so invigorated in such a long time.

One of the most monumental things he's done that's affected me was;
one lazy afternoon while we lay in bed together with the awful sun pouring in through his windows, I relentlessly struggled against him to keep myself covered beneath his sheets. There was so much daylight, and everything was in 1080P. I couldn't possibly let him see me!
We all have insecurities, and I've had mine all my life, especially growing up. The boy that sat next to me in 7th grade Biology, Gordan Getz, made a comment to me, about me, that drove the nail in further.
So.
There's that, plus scars. Not from self harm, but from desperately trying to fix a problem area that went wrong. And I've a pretty fair complexion so it's like 1080P x 50 billion MAGNIFIED TO THE 534TH TRILLIONTH POWER.
He kept repeating "I want you to feel comfortable with me.... stop."
I would writhe beneath him and would go to grab the covers for him to just shove them away again and take my wrists. After a little bit of that, I finally relaxed, he continued to reassure me, telling me he's seen and felt everything, and that he doesn't care.

It's a shitty feeling having to hide yourself in broad daylight, or just with lights on, in front of someone you're attracted to. You worry that they'll be so turn off by you that those moments you yearn for with them will be just... awful. And when they are, everything else falls apart that much faster.

I'm thankful for him every moment that we're together. Who knew someone could care that much about you that they force you to cut that insecurity shit out around them? It was the most bizarre display of aggression and compassion combined, but it worked.

I made us spaghetti today. Easiest shit ever but there was a ton of it.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. It's safe to say we've been celebrating our affections for one another way before tomorrow's date, but I feel that this Vday in 2014 will be one to look back on fondly.


Also, I have insurance finally! It's so funny to me how differently it makes me feel. I haven't had insurance for a loooong time. It's good to know that a trip to the emergency room won't suck ass.
Tonight I finish writing this post from Fett's room. I brought over all my stuff to work on while I'm here, indulging in Chobani with honey and oats.

Time to finish things and have all the snuggles.


awful but funny;
When your boyfriend tells you to put your piercings back in for God Mode challenge, he's a keeper. #yup #gamerthings #sorrynotsorry

Enough

   Enough is enough!

I've put this off long enough I think.
Jeez, I can't even decide on where to start. I believe we last left off during or after my mama's visit? Pretty sure... rather, I could just look but I don't want to.

Hmmm... lets see what has happened since then!
A list is necessary for this so I don't forget while it's still fresh in my mind. Truly, lol.
Let's see..

• Working my ass off / promition
• Commission
• Busted my knee running
• Fett is being too wonderful, he's this close to getting a write up
• Das Bunker died
• Playing WoW again
• There's a club in LA that exists that I don't hate and will frequent
• I did a cover of Marilyn Monroe's "Bye Bye, Baby" from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and I no longer want to bash my head in a drawer

 but first, let me dump some more pictures from my mom's visit that hadn't yet come into play at the time of my last post.

The last couple days my mom spent here I wanted to make sure that she got to see some of the places that LA is known for. So on our list was Universal and Hollywood (though she kept putting that off). And also Little Tokyo!
Fett rose to the occasion and wanted to take us both out to dinner after a nice evening to driving around sight seeing.
She really likes him. He even accompanied us to the airport to see her off. She invited him.
Bastard needs to stop charming my mom, damn it.

We walked around City Walk and she was in total awe. We had like... sweet shit that's really bad for you, and I had a nutella banana crepe thing.

This thing. So awful for you. I knew this because it was sweet, but also delicious at the same time.
I don't normally like to eat this kind of shit, let alone candies or cookies, but my mom was leaving soon, so we went out with an ugh.

 Fett drove us all the way to Santa Monica to see the Pier at night time. 

It was where he took me the first time we hung out together. Not only was it super adorbs in that way, but it was also really nice for my momma. She saw the ocean and the gorgeous lights reflecting in the waves, amongst many other lovely views.

Fett also took us to Hollywood.
She wasn't too impressed by it, lol. But she still had a good time. She said it's not at all how the movies make it seem-- and she's right. It isn't. 

So next time someone brags about being out somewhere in Hollywood... laugh at them. Because they're desperate.

Fett took us to dinner at my favorite little stand in Koreatown. 

Pollo a la Brasa Western. 

They serve Peruvian style rotisserie chicken, and it's amazing. My mom hadn't had any in a while, and as soon as I told her it was a thing, her eyes lit up and she was decided. 

Since the place was so small we came home and had dinner here instead. Fett, not surprisingly, also enjoyed it. 

That place though is a maybe twice a year kinda thing for me. Not gonna happen for another 6 or 7 months minimum.

She was really happy, and had a wonderful stay here. I was glad, because in all honestly I worried that she would become bored due to my working all the time. Though, she really enjoyed watching everything ever on Netflix. She messied up my movie queues and recommendations.... but it was worth it.

W o r k -

I'm in training. I got the okay from, funnily enough, my old manager who did my assessment last week. I'm stoked, because that means I can get an external hard drive and a new processor way sooner than I anticipated. And a new keyboard. And a new camera and phone. And a Disney pass. And car things.

And a whole bunch of other shit that I can put use to. Actually Disney pass might not even be a thing.
I don't know. Whatever. I'm thinking out loud. All I know is I can finally get back to upgrading my hardware and devices. And no, this won't change how often I will go out to clubs or out to lunch/dinner. I rather cook for myself anyway. So don't waste your time ;)

N o o b    C h a r m s -

Business has been slow, but it's my own fault. My work space is cramped now that my room is all changed around and I haven't bothered organizing it to where it's work-able. However I did get a commission recently that I fell in love with. Turns out the customer is a regular at my work, who just happened to stumble upon my Etsy and got in touch with me there. :)

It's so cute!!! >_<

I spent a lot of time trying to get the features right so that it looked like a damn rabbit. Believe me when I say it's harder than it looks. At first it looked like a bear because it couldn't get the shape of the head right, and then I didn't even know what to do for its nose because they have weird noses.

But... it came out cute. ^^ and he really likes it! So that made me happy. :D

I r o n y --

So I want to go for runs more often. And I did. 

Knee said no.
I think the biggest no no was on the next day I went running, about 5 minutes in my knee suddenly ached when I bent it to move forward, or put any weight on it. It didn't hurt that bad, just ached kinda and was uncomfortable. SO I KEPT GOING FOR 15 MINUTES STRAIGHT AND PUSHED THROUGH IT BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE PUSHING YOURSELF WITH THE POKEMON THEME SONG IN YOUR HEAD, YOU DON'T FUCKING STOP.

Next day sucked. And I had work. 

I limped my ass around all morning until  my boss took pity on me and gave me one of his prescription pain killers. It helped A LOT. I was able to walk without pain, but I could still feel my knee didn't bend right. This was about 5 days ago. My right knee still feels off, and there isn't as much pain, but I do get an ache every now and again if I don't take it easy.
Like 3 days ago I also woke up with my left shoulder hurting like crazy. It felt like what had occurred in my right shoulder, my rotator cuff specifically, where I couldn't lift my arm past a certain point. It huuuuuurt. No clue what I did. Thankfully, Fett knew some stuff and helped me with it to where it would temporarily stopped hurting. It no longer hurts now, but damn... lol I'm falling apart!

S t a h p  -- 

Fett's been wonderful with me. Sometimes I want to punch him and tell him to cut it the fuck out. Seriously. I don't think I've ever really felt this .... romanced... in my life. It's like... unreal to me still. So every time he busts out something super romance-y I swear I almost bust into a seizure or something.

Like when he went somewhere with his family one night and came back with this for me.

Two nights ago he surprised me with a new cassette thingie for my car to plug into my phone so I can play music off of it because the one I already had was flimsy and malfunctioning. 

He spends the night even though I have to get up for work at 3 am.

Omg... yesterday.. or the day before... whatever.. he stayed over and I told him he could stay while I was at work.

I got home and he had made the bed and cleaned my bowls that I left soaking in the sink the night before.

OH.

 and like... well..  There were some cooking utensils that were stored as clean that should not have been?! And he noticed them all, and grabbed every one of them and set them to soak in the sink. I was mortified. >_<"

there was. so. much. stuff. .... lol. like... I didn't know what to say o___________________o

but he did all this nice stuff anyway while I was at work, and I walked in on him sitting here playing Zelda the Windwaker on my other monitor.

And a few nights ago he comes to pick me up for some plans that he arranged for us to go do something, but he wouldn't tell me what. All I knew was that he wanted me to wear my sleeping mask all the way there. 

The drive was long. It felt like we were going to Anaheim or something. 

When he parked, he told me to remove my mask, and hands me 2 sheets of folded paper.

Printed on them were two tickets to see Cirque du Soleil's Totem show at the Santa Monica Pier, which was exactly where we were. I looked at him and started tearing up, because what the fuck do you say to that!? 

I couldn't believe it, as I had never been to a Cirque show in my life. 

We were running a little late, and got seated about 15 minutes into the show, but still got to watch from the sides as it happened. It was AMAZING. I couldn't express how happy I was, am, because of all of the things he is always coming up with. 

And then goes into hiding for a few days to game on his console. 

It's perfect. 

He's intimidated by MMOs but appreciates RPGs so... we make it work.

You're probably wondering why I haven't revealed who is really is yet.

As Fett usually likes to put it, "don't worry about it."

All in due time.

B u n k e r   F a i l |

So Das Bunker's a club that's been around for like almost 20 years. Its' last night was on Friday, and I wanted to attend for closure reasons. I've had a lot of good times and met a lot of people there. It holds a lot of fun memories for me. Fett would be my date that night, except when we got there around 11:05 the line was ridiculously long and we couldn't find parking forever. Once we did, 3 blocks away, it took about 10 minutes of waiting in line only to finally be told by a security guard that the club was at its capacity and no one else would be able to get in. I later discover that they were bluffing and only told us this so the cops would leave. They shortly let in everyone after they left. 

Still, no regrets. I can only imagine how hot and crowded it must have been. As soon as they told us this, I immediately looked up at Fett and said "Denny's!?" 

And we split. 

I ended up spending way less money that I had planned for that night anyway, so I got us dinner.

On Sunday I sent my lady Lauren off to LAX with a little Un-Valentines' day parting gift. She'll be back on Friday. In the mean time, Fett's hijacked my apartment and parking garage XD. 

Just kidding, I told him he should just use my spot.

P o n i e s   --

Ponies was like hey lets go get food and watch a movie and go to a club and I was like WELL SINCE I NEVER SEE YOU, OKAY. So we went to Doomie's on Saturday, watched "Her" at the Arclight, which was really cute- we both enjoyed it, and then went to New Church afterwards. 

I got the creme brulee, and was trying to replicate that scene in Amelie where she cracks the surface with a spoon because it's one of the small pleasures in life that she enjoys.

It wasn't as satisfying as it looked in the movie, but it was delicious.

We looked like toolbags because we weren't dressed for club things. 

IT'S ALL GOOD. I AIN'T EVEN TRIPPIN

I'm wearing my Blizzcon shirt, roflmao

but New Church I actually really, really liked. 

It's not at all anything like the other Alternative clubs/bars I've been to.

That's awful of me to say but seriously... Hollywood goths are busted.

They look like they jumped out of a 16 year old's Tumblr account that just got home from Warped Tour.

And those clubs are crawling with that Warped Tour demographic now.

Yuck.

Anywho... Yeah. It was pretty cool. 

I'll probably bug Ponies to go on the next night.

And probably every night.

lol I really liked New Church! 

Gross, that's not like me at all.

I started WoW again because I'm stuck in Bioshock Inifinite.

But it's not the same. It feels dirty. I haven't spent as much time as I thought I would.... 

that's my face.

And I did a half assed cover of a song from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. 

It's titled "Bye Bye, Baby"

Marilyn Monroe sings it to her beau in a scene before the ship docks. I tried to sound like her as much as I could and was a nervous shit to share it. People didn't tear me apart, so I'm feeling better about it.

Here's the scene. Fracking love this movie.

And here is a picture of a burrito bowl attached to a recording of me singing the same song.

I tried.

Mama

          This is my mothers' first trip to Los Angeles. Her stay is about 2 weeks, and she has until this coming Tuesday until she departs back for Pennsylvania. So far this trip has pushed my threshold in a trait of mine that is stubborn as shit.
She's always been the most supportive momma ever to me. However, I deny her the other kind of support she so often insists on me-
I watch people around me ask for shit and just grab and run with it, or just expect shit given to them all the time, or favors, and it just turns me off to a degree that you couldn't even imagine.

We butted heads a lot, until we finally sat down and had a talk that I needed to hear. I worry about my parents, and their well being and how well off they will be. Though, she reassured me that things were okay and that I didn't need to feel the way I doo-id. So she gave me the best thing I've needed for a long time... an actual bed. I can't tell you guys how fucked up my neck and back feels from sleeping on shitty mattresses for 5 years. It really takes it toll.

ANYWAY.

I haven't taken too many pictures. But I will. Yessterday was Disneylaaaand.
Her first trip ever! Needless to say she was THRILLED! She loved everything. We hit all the musts and the best storybook rides. We also hit up California Adventure. Her favorite there was Soarin' over California. I don't get why no one I know enjoys it, I think it's awesome.
Today we were supposed to be visiting Hollywood, but she said changed her mind and would rather stay home. Totally fine by me! :D
  We're trying Hollywood again tomorrow. Sunday I'd like to take her to Universal, and then Fett is going to take us to dinner and eat yummy Peruvian style rotisserie chicken in Korea Town. I introduced them to each other and she really likes him! She wants him to join us on Sunday to do outty things with us.

LET ME TELL YOU HOW FUN IT'S BEEN WITH LIVING SPACES AND BED THINGS.

but first here are some pictures.

This is my momma. Blurry photo is blurry but she is tiny and full of pep. Like a small barky little dog.
Also, pretty much every day she's been here she's prepared Peruvian food for us. I'm loving it, obviously. And she's more than thrilled to do it. She showed me how to prepare another one of my favorites that I'm gonna make aaaaaaalll the time--- maybe. I miss Josh and Rot's cooking, it feels weird not impressing each other with our culinary skills. You guise would love this, I think. Perhaps if they put a potluck together or something I'll make it for them.

Disney things!

We took a lot of pictures of just her, mostly for my dad to see lol.
I would've liked to be in them with her but I don't trust strangers and I loathe most of the people that attend Disney. The idea of their slimy, gooey little fingers all over my phone makes me want to blow up a Wal Mart on black friday. So we also took selfies

 Right after Indiana Jones. She absolutely loved it!

In California Adventure we went to check out the Cars area. I had never been there myself so it was totes new for the both of us. We got on that newer ride where they race at the end. She loved it!

Star Tours! 

There were people behind us in line so this was the most rushed photo I've ever taken in my LIFE. 

I held up my phone, hoped she was in the frame, took the photo, and moved forward instantly.

You guise don't understand how important it is to me to never be the cause of a bottleneck.

UGH.

 Everyone wanted to get a picture with Mr. Disney so we stepped to the side and stole a shot from there!

We shared a turkey leg, and indulged in two churros each.
This whole day at Disney also never would've happened if it wasn't for Jackie, who went out of her way in order for my mom to have this day. I thanked her a billion times, and told her I was in her debt.

Whatever she needs I'll be more than happy to aid with!

We left around 5 and of course traffic made the 45 minute trek a 1.5 hour long one. It didn't help that my GPS kept making me go the local way to avoid the highway, and my directionally challeneged dumb ass complied like an idiot every time it told me to take an exist and make 16 left turns in Glendale, only to get back on the 2. WHY.

Anyway... she absolutely loved it. 

Today she told me that she enjoyed herself so much that she even dreamt of the rides she was on! :D

 She also took it upon herself to reorganize our living room and 'dining room'
It looks great, but I had to tell her to calm down with it. Though it is appreciated, she didn't come here to clean up after our shit. So she's been chillin in my room playing her cute little facebook games discovering movies on Netflix. haha XD

 This was one of the things I'd prepare for Josh and Rot. 

It was cool. One of them would make us dinner, then I would make us dinner, then the other would make us dinner, and it was just a thing. And it was nice. They liked this. I showed Josh how to prepare it, but I wonder how much he retained. :P

BED THINGS.
So like, my mom was like YOU NEED A BED DON'T ARGUE WITH ME THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

And I was like -__- fine.

So we went to Living Spaces and finally decided on this frame and mattresses and whatnot. 

Dudes come to put it together the next day.

2 days later, we're all in my room; my mom on the computer, me and Lauren on the bed. 

We're just chillin on the bed and at one point Lauren shifts around to make herself comfortable and the bed fucking breaks. Like, it collapses. The footboard on the left side just.... eats shit and detaches and the metal bars underneath give in and bend as the bed goes forward and the footboard just falls off. Lauren's on the floor, and I'm sitting in the middle of the bed with the patience of a Jedi, bottling the most I've ever bottled in my life.
Which was fine, because it wouldn't do any good to get upset over it, and it'd get replaced, so it's not worth my energy. 

So.
THAT was a thing.

We went back the next morning and they told us they'd have it the next day out for delivery.

Dudes came back, one of them was one of the guys from before, and the guy putting it together said that perhaps it hadn't been latched on correctly. Either way, that was a thing, and it sucked, but it was fixed, and my mom is comfortable again. We ended up sleeping on my old mattress in the living room in the mean time. 

We also got a dresser from Ikea. So fun! I love putting things together. It's like a puzzle. Also, I'm impatient with things I know I can do myself if I tried. ^_^
Took me a while buuuuuut I did it, with some assistance from muh momma.
Jason also stopped by that morning to drop off a Boba Fett helmet from his birthday cake! lol
He had a birthday party the night before that he asked me to come to since it's like 2 houses down. So that was also a thing.

 It's been a few days! Don't hate me, Sandeep :P

The Docs I had on gave me 3 1/3 inches to my height. Still a midge.

 So they stooped down to my level! ^_^

Jursurn and Sirry sir!

 Lauuuurreeenn :D

 D'aw, Sir is such a cuddly bear

 I felt pretty.

sorry bout it.

So now we're sitting in my room. My mom's been on a Netflix binge, watching all of the movies. We watched some Guillermo del Toro's stuff. I'm not a movie person at all (it better be sick or I want those hours of my life back), but the stuff she does prefer to watch is pretty alright, so I deal.

Last night I also got to see Fett for a few hours. It's felt like it's been a while since I saw him last. I missed him quit a bit.

Work is going extremely well for me. I'm up for a promotion and was recognized for an 'employee of the month' kinda thing, except it's more like... of the quarter. which is 4 months. It was nice to be acknowledged that way. Basically, things are improving again after that little lull that occurred following my crazy October and November months of doing all of the things.
Lots of nice, fun, happy positive things are occurring again. The only thing that would make everything PERFECT would be... my classes. It finally dawned on me to simply take two bullshit classes to get into the system so that I at least have SOME kind of priority that I can leverage in order to get my per-requisites to start my major. It's so shitty that new students basically can't get jack shit until they're in the system already with units. They didn't do that at my other college! Oh well. Now I know.

Anyway.. I'm pooped.

omg yesterday... was my day off, and also the day we go to Disney.

My boss calls me at 5:09 in the morning telling me that the other person that was supposed to be there to open didn't show up. They were supposed to be there at 4.

He apologizes for waking me and asks if I could come in to help out. Jared was there too, I think he went in like half an hour earlier or something. He never works mornings, so that was total lolz.
I told my boss that I couldn't because I had to go to Disneyland... and he was like ohhhh okay.. that's okay you go have fun! Have a good time! and he sounded soooo desperate and let down.
I went in anyway and left early to go home, get ready, and go to Disney.
We left Disney around 5ish. Arrived home around almost 7. Went to the store to grab some stuff for my mom to cook stuff for today. Came here and watched a movie. Fett said he was getting home soon from stuff and wanted to see me. So I went over there. Didn't get home til around 1:30ish. Woke up for work at 6:30am. Been awake ever since.

I kinda wanna pass out right now and just..........shhhh.....  so. tired... .. k.. bye..... zzzZZzz..