Good song. Listen to it.
Or don't, that's fine.
I cite this song for reasons.
One, being the hilarious thing that happened this past weekend during Long Beach Comic Con. The second being the lyrics; I'm a girl.
Girls vicariously express themselves through song lyrics in order to passive aggressively tell someone something (OR SO I'VE GOOGLED).
It all just fits so well together!
SO CLEVER, I KNOW. It's brilliant.
No, it's not. It's actually kinda sad, but YANNO WHAT. I'M NOT BLIND, SO THAT'S COOL. But I was.
But. Let me back up a bit to... like, almost 2 weeks ago I think. Or something. Hang on I gotta check instagram. Nm. A little over a week. Damn, lol. Feels longer.
Enter Oppa.
I missed him. Was good to see him again.
We met up for foodsies at this place
But not before sitting in his car for 6 years, as is tradition.
Makes me wanna start adding some interior decor, to make it feel a little more homely.
Some things I remember talking to him about, some I don't. It's like in that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie's describing how she felt when she was talking to Burgur-- how she doesn't remember being there or even what he looked like, but she remembers how it made her feel.
That happens to me sometimes. Does anyone else get that? Idk.
ANYWHO
THIS PLACE
They had many thingies besides noodles, like this:
And we got rice dishes, because we can.
It'd been a while since I'd eaten just straight up fried rice. Me likey. I forgot how much me likey.
Oppa took us to the downtown area, where I saw an unsettling tin man, and where we got nummy dessert ^_^
Ew...
It was a nice day out.
He brought us to this shaved ice place.
It was really cute inside.
Photos are better with random Nintendo consoles in them, AREN'T THEY!?
Mario Bros was intense, amirite?
There was a ton of stuff to choose from.
It was my first time trying sesame seed ice cream! And rice ball mochi thingies
Me likey ^^
We walked around for a while, just hanging out and ... walking.
He brought us to this gallery that had cute stuff
And at the time was showcasing pieces from ... well. What the photo indicates. I would've taken photos of the actual pieces, but I wasn't 100% sure if that was permitted, and was too shy to ask the girl there, so I didn't-- out of what I presumed to be respect for the gallery? I don't know.
I wish the day had gone on longer, but thingies are a thing. So we walked back to his car and he dropped me off at mine. Said goodbye. and I napped in the car for almost 2 hours waiting for traffic to die down before driving home. Love SoCal rush hour. It's the funnest ever.
Disneyland time!
So, HFB (Homie from Burbank) was in town for one like 2 more nights, and one of those nights we hit up Disney.
But at like, 8.
It closes at 9.
We met up there around 7:30 and tried to get on stuff, but the lines for stuff were supes long.
So we said fuck it and got on Splash Mountain because the wait time was like -J seconds.
I took one for the team and sat in the front.
Regret. Regret is a good word for that.
Also, stupid. It was a chilly night.
Stupid and regret. Yes. both of those.
We visited Hundred Acre Wood next door.
Eeyore isn't even at Pooh's birthday party with everyone else at the end of the ride. Eeyore is an asshole.
Soon.
We had like 10 minutes left before the park closed. So we went to ride the horsies.
Meet Durdur.
No one wanted to ride him.
No one except HFB.
We love Durdur.
Disneyland makes miracles happen
Where is everyone?
There they are.
This made me lol in my head.
Time for T!
And delicious bulgogi burritos
This doesn't even look appetizing, but idc.
Seoul Mate is my mistress. Or whatever. My heart belongs to Seoul Street, but sometimes Seoul Mate just scratches that tiny little itch when Seoul Street isn't nearby.
Seoul anything. Just give me Seoul anything, and we're good.
Not even kidding, these two places are real, and it was total coincidence that they both have fucking Seoul in their name.
I hate myself.
We were so full. Ugh.
We were SO full, that we had to get boba afterwards.
(that's how it works here in Cynthia-land ahkay)
Good ol' Cha2o.
One of the other cool things about Downtown Fullerton is that one of the streets is called Commonwealth.
And if you've played Fallout 4, you'd understand why this is cool to me.
It's just fucking meant to be. I'm meant to be at the Commonwealth ahkay.
Taro boba bliss
And then we walked to Dripp-- coffee shop a few blocks away.
Because bulgogi burritos and boba weren't enough.
This place is so nice. I really like it here.
Not to mention... well.
I'm totally that customer that is crushing on a barista.
Jk, I'm not crushing. But there's a cute barista there, and it's given me this completely new like, WHOA perspective. Because I'm a barista, and that's probably what some customers feel when they see us. I mean, I KNOW, because I've befriended them, and they've told me this. But I've never been on the other end of it. And it's AWKWARD. AND WEIRD.
Anyway, yeah.
Just. yeah.
She got the iced Spanish latte (of course she did)
and I got the... the one I always get lol. It's the berry one. It's coffee infused with berries and it's so good.
If ... If Dripp had fantastical insurance the way my current job does, and paid me more, and I wasn't going to school, and was a little closer... I'd totally work there. lol
It's a total hipster joint, but it's so cute there.
L O N G B E A C H C O M I C C O N |
All one day of it.
This year, I took it easy, seeing as they didn't book it in the main part of the convention center again. idk what it is about that but it just makes it come off as... lesser. I mean, I know it all comes down to who books the convention center first, but the last... 2 years? It's been held in the back and I'm just like, lol alright.
I got a Saturday badge, which I felt was more than enough. BOY, WAS IT.
Wasn't up to cosplay, and was pretty much last minute in deciding to actually attend.
Lets start with 10AM, shall we?
The day before, I ran some errands and picked up some things in preparation for whatever. The con, and other stuff. Essentials.
Since my old contact lens solution was almost out, I decided to get this stuff, which, from the box, seemed great.
A contact lens solution that also is super great at cleaning?! SOLD
The instructions were pretty straight forward.
Put the lenses in the case, and have them sit for 6 hours before using them.
I did that.
They soaked in the case over night.
Saturday, September 17 - 10: something A.M.
I'm getting ready, put in my contact lenses, and I start to notice my vision becoming slightly foggy. Like, a subtle milky film had just materialized.
MUST BE THE LIGHTING. I'M SURE IT'LL WEAR OFF IN TIME IF I BLINK ENOUGH. TEARS DO THAT, RIGHT
I drive to the convention center, and walk towards the other end of the convention center, where I find the massive line for pre-registration. I start to notice that my eyes have gotten significantly more sensitive to sunlight. As I approached the entrance to the convention center, what should've looked like this...
Actually looked like this...
I MEAN, THAT'S COOL. WHATEVER, I'LL JUST RINSE MY LENSES OUT. I'M SURE IT'S FINE. - Head thoughts.
Oh yes. You're gonna see shit the way I saw shit, lol.
Once I finally got inside, the strain on my eyes from the sun had reduced significantly, but I could still feel some slight irritation going on. I walked to the bathroom and removed my lenses... rinsed them in the solution (smart!), and put them back in.
My eyes were not red, they just felt very sensitive to everything. That grittyness was also going on under my top eyelids. but yanno. THAT'S NOTHING. Surely, the irritation would wear off soon. Duh
As I was coming back out, I heard someone calling my name in the lobby.
It was a Dippy. plus his crew. They were waiting for Bahb to show up so they could go film.
He was like omg your eyes are red. but it was make up. but, they were definitely irritating me. They were probably teary from having just recently reapplied the lenses moments before.
Once Bahb showed up, we all went into the con, they went off one way to do Dippy things, I went another.
To do... i don't fucking know
So while I'm wandering the aisles, thinking about how much this sucks, I heard someone call out "You're my barista!!!"
I turn towards the voice and note a dude at a booth, waving at me. And I'm thinking Oh shit! STARBUCKS TIME RN!?
So I go over to him and he's like, Hey! I'm laughing and greet him. He tells me he sees me every morning at Starbucks, but I apologize to him and tell him he looks vaguely familiar, but didn't know his name.
He told me his drink and then I was like
OOOOOOOHHHHH YEAAAAHH
SUP HOMIE
This is what being a barista is like. You don't know people by their names. Their faces mark a tiny little tab for a memory file of their drinks, in your brain.
Yeah, I had no idea he was an artist.
Dude is Tom.
Tom does beautiful ass prints. Beautiful ass, you guys.
He says he booths all the time, and his wife is the one that sends him to get coffee all the time in the mornings, lol. He goes super early.
Sadly, I hadn't been able to see him lately because I've had to take a few days off work (you'll see why).
He has these mash up prints that are insane. I want the Mortal Kombat/Mulan one. Maybe I'll pick one up at Comikaze.
Anyway, yeah! Sbux. Most of the times I get stopped, it's because people recognize me from Starbucks. The other times I'm stopped is for hair inquiry.
Post-Tom, I resumed my aimless wandering, second-guessing everything that was happening inside my ocular cavities. That maybe something bad was happening. Because this cloudiness in my vision isn't clearing up. In fact, it's getting slightly worse.
AW, CUTE THING! I MUST GO TO IT!
I ran into Dippy again. They were filming.
That man is the human form of graceful.
Not all heroes wear capes
I see them often at cons. Bless them. They are angels
So, yeah. Keep on trudging on.
This picture doesn't do it justice. It was milkier. I should've added more of that. And brighter. but not by much. BUT YOU GET THE IDEA.
Definitely blurry though.
It was getting worse as the evening progressed.
But, you know, whatever. I'm sure it'll clear up OOH, A DIVA!
Ran into Dippy again.
This con is really small, lol.
This shot wasn't any less offputting than the other one.
By this point, having not eaten anything other than iced coffee (crunch crunch), I stood in line to get some foods.
This also sucked, because I wanted to get something from the food trucks outside, but the sunlight blinded me too much, even with sunglasses. That side effect isn't new to me. Light sensitivity happens even without contacts every now and then, so I just shrugged it off and settled for convention center food.
But suddenly a Doug appeared!
Doug is dope. Cosplay photog I've known for a few years. It's kinda crazy how long I've known some people in the cosplay community. Doesn't seem that long but... damn. Yeah. ANYWAY
So I let him hang with me in line, and we gets us lunch. Doug is supes the nicest dude. For reals. We hung out at a table for a bit to take a break and caught up. Thanks for the foods Doogie!
I felt bad, cuz he asked me if I wanted to shoot. But... Meeehhhh.
It's funny, I've been getting asked a lot recently to shoot with people. Thing is, I'm really not that photogenic. I have an odd shaped face, and it's only from certain angles that my face doesn't look squishy and odd. Photogs don't know this, and sometimes, they capture me in not the most flattering angles, and so I'm just like =\ damn I look like an ass cheek with an upside-down crowbar nose.
So, I've just told some peeps no thank you. I'm sorry! but I'm good.
And it's not their fault. They don't know.
And it wasn't until recently that one of my photog friends, who wants to shoot me, told me that certain people look better/different depending on the kind of lens that is being used. I didn't even know that. He went on to explain a whole bunch of photog shit because he goes ham, and so... I'm gonna let him shoot me. And I'm gonna let Doge shoot me too, because he's the homie-- i gotsta. but other than that............
idk fam.
idk
gotta think about it
this is why when I take pictures of people, I am super conscious of the angles of their faces and the positioning of stuff and the light and where I'm shooting from because all that shit makes a huge difference, and sometimes at cons when people ask to take my picture and then show me, I'm just like........ sigh. cool. sweet. okay! see ya!
ANYWAY, MOVING ON.
i wannit
Kyubey a bossy ass bitch
Rikki butt :B
This made me think of Ponies.
not that.
he has
that many crushes or anything
he doesn't.
I almost bought both of those Espi and Umbri plushies.
but I didn't.
because I'm a responsible adult.
yeah!
Go me!
This print is siiiiiicccckkk
Max Reebo!!
Right?! He looks like Max Reebo.
I could be wrong. Idk.
By now, my eyes were really irritating me.
I had, around 5ish, gone to the bathroom and removed my lenses. This was relieving temporarily, but the milkiness was still there, and the blurred vision got worse.
The con closed and I went with Kawaii-San outside.
We headed to Starbucks quick for a regen. Then walked back to the con and ran into Doge and peeps.
SO WE WENT TO DINNER with Doge and a few other people across the street at Island's. Again.
By that point, it got really bad. It was noticeably like, bad.
My eyes weren't red, but they kept tearing up, and I could only look down for relief. Pressing on my eyelids stung. BUT YOU KNOW, WE WERE HUNGRY. SO.
I kept telling myself it would go away. A special kind of denial, tbh. Even though my vision was really bad at this point. Like, just, blur. I could make out general shapes around me, but signs and curbs and seconds left on the pedestrian walkway signs on the street were just... nope.
After dinner, there was some thing going on that Doge and I went to.
Until, at last, my eyes stung, and didn't stop stinging. And they teared up BAD. I couldn't keep them open, no matter how hard I tried. I begged Doge to walk me back to my car so I could maybe nap and rest them for a bit, then drive home.
He did this.
I set my alarm for 30 minutes.
NOTHING.
but I HAVE to drive home! I can't leave my fucking car in bumfuck long beach over night. It'd get broken into for sure, fuck that. so.
I, very afraid, took a deep breath, and started crying from frustration. I put my key in the ignition, turned on the car, and cursed everything ever. I panned around me to see where I had to turn to get out of the lot. Simple enough.
I grabbed my phone, turned down that god forsaken brightness that hurt like fucking hell, held the thing like an inch away from my face and opened the GPS, put in my address and could barely see the letters, but know that "home" was the first thing to pop up in the search bar when I typed in the first two numbers to my address. I did this from memory.
hoped to some god that I was right and didn't choose the wrong one. and put my car in reverse. and Off I went into the night.
Legally blind, with stingy, light sensitive eyes that hurt like a bitch when I blinked.
THANKFULLY, the irritation was so bad that my eyes kept watering, and blinking wasn't necessary. So when I felt my eyes feel dry, I just tilted my head up a little, and looked down, and that would suffice as a blink lol.
So, I had to drive over half an hour home with what should've looked like this, being something along the lines of this:
I didn't put a milky filter over it, but yeah. Every time oncoming traffic would come, I thought I was going to wreck and die. It was absolutely wreckless, and I could've hurt myself and someone else. Or killed someone. But I was desperate and didn't have many options. Thankfully, I got home safely.
My saving grace was really just having to drive straight for like 2-something miles, and the reflectors on the road. And the car in front of me. I'd just follow his tail lights, and make sure I stayed within the confines of the reflectors. Green means go. Red means stop.
What especially sucked though was that I was freaking out so bad that my car fogged up A LOT, and I had the air going on full blast to keep the windows from fogging, but it wasn't enough! It was CRAZY. My car was fogged up from all the body heat coming off me because of how stressed out I was, lol. Never had that happen before.
I can tell you right now though, when you think you're going to die any moment, or your life is in danger, your brain will MAKE you, FORCE you into this balls of steel survival mode fighting machine. I was HORRIFIED. Scared for my life, literally. The blurred vision, the cloudiness on top of that, plus the fogged windshield... I don't know how the fuck I made it home, but I did.
I absolutely missed my street like 5 times though and had to do a billion u-turns. It's not illuminated at all, and the only landmark by it are train tracks, which mean I went a few feet too far. I had to roll down my window in order to look for what might be the sign to the complex, and then turn in.
The frustration every time I missed it was.... unreal. Because I was SO CLOSE to being home. Safe. but I'd miss it by a few feet-- I couldn't see it!
Eventually, when there weren't any cars behind me, I came to almost a complete stop to get a good look at the entrance, deduced that it was indeed the entrance, and finally ... yeah. The relief. My god.
Total insanity. UGH.
I went in, made my way to my bedroom. Wiped off some of my make up, and passed the fuck out.
NEXT MORNING ROLLS ALONG:
I can't open my eyes, and they are 759874938274 degrees to the touch, and also the size of Saturn. Each.
Panic mode activated.
I freak out in my head, but try to think of how I can contact someone. I reach for my phone, and from memory, unlock it. I had to open my eyes, because duh. Sooooo, with the fear and frustration of a thousand sad people, I gently pulled on my bottom lids enough to be able to see downwards, and kinda forced myself to open my top lids. I open them for a few seconds at a time because they stung too bad and i had to close them again. BUT. Survival mode. I can't just feel sorry for myself and cry, that's counter-productive and I ain't no bitch.
I pull my phone super close to my eyes, blurry as fuck, but look through my texts, and make out which one was Ponies. open that convo, and push the phone icon. It calls him, but his phone is off lol.
Next, I go to Facebook.
Clearly, I failed lol.
It was supposed to say Need er can't see help. It wasn't entirely out of context if people put that, plus my last post together. but, despite trying really hard to type that out, people just thought I was being funny or racist or something. That's what happens when you're someone who mocks everything. lol NAILED IT
I didn't think that through very well, because so what if someone responded? It's not like I could communicate with them. I think I was hoping that someone would get it and call me and drive me to the ER or something. idk. So, since I didn't want to wait, I sent a text to Ponies.
"Help"
he responded 4 minutes later. I didn't respond so he called me. He came right over.
This is where the reality of how I can't leave my job really sunk in.
My insurance through my work covered everything. I had a small co-pay, but that ER visit EASILY would've been several thousands of dollars.
Ponies is very savvy when it comes to insurance in general. I was very fortunate to have him take care of me that morning. He asked all the questions that needed to be asked, and was just all around very great with me.
Once he arrived, he asked me for my insurance card. Looked it over, and said we could try Urgent Care centers that were nearby. He called the starbucks hotline for whatever that was on my card, and spoke to the nurse. It was a Sunday, which left her as our only option. She gave us a list of Urgent Car centers in the area, which he called and took us to two. They were all closed.
Finally, he decided that we should go to the ER at his campus. He works for UC Irvine, so we headed there. Didn't have to wait long for them to call me in.
The counter lady was like awwwww sweetheart, what happened! And I was basically like, I'm a dumbass. It made me feel better when she said I'd be okay and wasn't going to go blind.
I went in, and they had me to an eye test lol
Like, attempt to the read the letters on the chart.
I could make out the top 1.5 letters, and guessed the last half of the P with my left eye.
Mind you, I don't wear prescription glasses or contact lenses. The lenses I wear are purely for aesthetic. I had my eyes pew-pew'd when I was 18 (in Peru) and for the most part, have pretty dope vision.
Immediately, I told Ponies to take pictures when he could.
For YA'LL.
FOR YOU GUYS. lol
I didn't know when he was taking them, but he did.
It's very likely that I was calling myself an idiot, laughing at myself, while crying.
And yes, that is a bat in my hair.
WARNING: You are about to see me at my worst, ever. It's pretty gross and ugly. Don't say I didn't warn you, because I literally wrote out "WARNING" before all this shit even got typed out. I'm just saying
I'm derp smiling, because I was a derp the day before.
My eyes were SCHWOOLLEN
They were swoll lol
I know some people have naturally swollen looking eyes. It's so freaky. It's like, their eyes are gonna fall out of their sockets or something. I was kinda shocked when I finally saw these pictures. Scary shit.
SO. THIS WAS FUN.
The nurse came in and put numbing drops in my eyes and did some other test thingie and asked me some questions.
The numbing drops worse off and I was sad. But I could see sort of for the time my eyes were numb.
Then I had to close my eyes again because pain. And then another nurse came in and was like... sooooooooooooooo this is gonna suck and I'm sorry but we're gonna put these fucking huge things into your eyes with tubes attached to them and have saline solution running through them for 20 minutes straight non-stop directly onto your eyeballs. K?
I was like.
fuck.
my.
life.
I was almost, basically... no. I begged for the numbing drops before she inserted the .. whatever the fuck those things are called. She called the other nurse, and she came over and numbed my eyes, and the other nurse immediately inserted the things, and turned on the machine. It was fine for like, a minute. And then the drops wore off and FUCK EVERYTHING. It didn't hurt but it was extremely uncomfortable. Because my eyes already stung, and there was this plastic/silicone thing sitting ON MY EYEBALL, with shit pouring onto my eyeball, and it was just........ uuuggghhh.
Straight outta Hellraiser tbh
Long story short.
That was done, and we waited 5 hours for the Optometrist to show up and assess my eyes. He did the whole shebang. Gave me a full eye exam and everything. I haven't had that done in over a decade lmao. He said it should clear up within a day or two, and prescribed me an antibiotic, and said to get artificial tears. Just ordinary over-the-counter stuff. Did that.
My eyes did feel better when we left though. Not by a lot, but the stinging had gone down. As soon as I got home, I just slept the rest of the day. Slept all night. When I'd wake up to go to the bathroom or whatever, I'd put in my drops, and then just sleep. That's all I could really do, since I couldn't see jack shit.
I had to work Monday and Tuesday, so I also had to tell my boss what was happening.
The next day, Monday, I basically slept the whole day. I'd wake up, try to read some updates on social media for a little until my eyes got tired, and then I'd go back to sleep.
Tuesday morning was the morning of my follow-up appointment. By Tuesday, a lot of the irritation had cleared up, basically gone away almost entirely. There was some residual blurriness, but very slight. I still have some now, but it's very faint.
Ponies came to pick me up. We went and grabbed some coffee on the way there, and headed to UCI.
My coworkers were looking at me like, in disbelief. My boss had this look on his face of almost like, I thought you couldn't work. It wasn't blatant, but I just got that vibe.
Whatever.
I have the paperwork.
The appointment ran late, not surprisingly, but I checked out fine. For the most part. They said that it is possible that there may be a tear in the back of my eye because of the hydrogen peroxide that was in the product. But it's an easy fix with laser surgery lol. I am due back in a year for a follow up to make sure I don't have a tear in my eye. They said if I start to see a lot of floaters, I'll know a tear happened.
SO THAT'S COOL.
The first doctor went through everything with me after doing another eye exam. She had a student with her too, that was adorable. He got to play with the eye thingie and looked at my eyeballs. When a perfect specimen, I was.
And before she sent me off, she wanted to make sure everything was good to go so she called for another doctor to come in and say I was good.
The cute doctor.
The very handsome doctor.
As SOON as he walked in, I could FEEL Ponies smiling and staring at me from behind.
I hope he could feel me calling him a troll through the back of my head.
I had to hold back my smile and felt myself flush over, and just kept looking down. It was awful. He came in, gave me the run-down of what to look out for and basically how eye cleaning solutions work, and he was off. It was the longest 3 minutes of my life.
Afterwards, we went back to Ponies office. He had a meeting at noon, and I agreed to stay in the library and work on homework while he worked. He got out at 1. I've never been in his office. It's very Ponies.
Yeah, Ponies is an important dude at UCI. No joke.
You wouldn't think that by looking at him, would you?
I'm proud of him.
So he led me to the library where I hated life for a few hours trying to catch up on math homework.
And once he was done with his meeting, I had finished almost all of it.
We were starving, so we went to our spot.
Our lunch was topped off with friendly chit-chat with the manager, basically our father, who said he was leaving for Japan the next day. And he was going to bring us back souvenirs!
Can you believe that?!!?
HE LOVES US.
And we love him omg.
Masa is the best. I'm really excited to see him. I kind of wanna get him a nice little thank you basket for always being so dope with us every time we're there.
And also an "I'm Sorry" greeting card for the cute waiter that Ponies traumatized by telling him flat out that he should talk to me because he's trying to find someone for me to date. Yep.
Just.
right in front of me.
Flat out. At the table.
Boom. Headshot.
Killed me.
It wasn't this visit though. It was before. Fortunately he wasn't there. But I almost want to apologize! lol. I love Ponies. He's ... he's my Ponies. I don't know what I'd do without him.
Anywho.
Yeah. That's what happened.
I'm better now. Like I said, there's some residual feint blurriness, but very very faint. I can see, and that's... gift enough. The fear of not knowing if you're going to lose your vision or not is a horrible feeling. Even though the paperwork said it would've cleared up on it's own eventually, it's still lame. Really, really really lame. So, I'm grateful that it wasn't anything *too* devastating, and I'm so so so aware of how lucky I am to be alive after driving home that night. I mean, I feel my survival instincts kicked in and was like NO. YOU ARE GOING TO GET HOME BECAUSE FUCK DYING RIGHT NOW. but still.
I have to get ready for work in an hour, but I wanted to finally write about what happened.
Learned my lesson for sure: Be careful with stuff your put in and on your body!
fuck i'm gonna be tired today lol
I could probably name 100 crushes.
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