Saturday, November 2, 2013

Gush

  So. You guise.
           Okay, look.  
I'm going to apologize ahead of time because the level of silly, gross cuteness in this post is going to be a thing. 
 Like a boss.
     I'm just sayin. You've been warned.


Wednesday night was another one of those nights where I couldn't sleep. It probably had something to do with the fact that I napped during the day after work. Or it may have also had something to do with my mind wandering blissfully, I don't know. Either way--- LATE NIGHT DRIVE TIME :D

Fett stopped by to kidnap me. It was kind of early in the evening, and I honestly had not intended on staying out late. I had work at like 5:30 the next morning so... I couldn't.
BUT, YOU KNOW. I DID. SO.

He surprised me! The last time we went sight seeing, we couldn't find a specific place he wanted me to see. We couldn't find it, so that was our quest that night. We also went to see some of the crazy houses in Beverly Hills. It was a good feeling checking out all these ridiculous houses I'll never be able to afford to own one day. It's like... I was Pluto, and was being demoted by the solar system into nothingness. Super windy, fun roads! We also went to the lake. I had no clue there was a fucking lake in Hollywood. How does that even work? Like, can fish even survive in San Pellegrino? Wtf Idek.

We were also in view of the Hollywood sign. 5 years I've been here and not once have I ventured anywhere near it. And we saw coyotes! THEY WERE SO CUTE, I WANTED TO TOUCH THEM but Fett said they'd probably kill me. Okay, he didn't say that but they probably could.

And then, somehow we got on the topic of the Santa Monica pier. I've been there I think twice. He started going on about how cool it looked at night. I admitted that I'd like to see that at some point, because I've never been. People say that the dead walk the shores and smell bad, and that it's dangerous to go there alone. So while we were talking, at some point he parks the car and says to get out. I'm thinking that Fett lost his shit because... that's not where I live? And it's dark, and I can't see buildings. Just lots of palm trees and weird street lights and stuff.

HE TOOK US TO THE SANTA MONICA PIER YOU GUISE.

Oh, Fett. You're such a not a Bounty Hunter at all.




Naturally, I'm losing my shit because.... I've never been here at night. It's so much prettier! There were people walking around, but they didn't seem to want to harm me. It was really nice. Check out that magnificent picture of beach water.


I was wearing my Mary-Jane Docs. Guess how much sand got in my shoes, you guise just guess.


NOT THAT MUCH! HAA!
Fett on the other hand...
See? This is why Docs are great. I have like 3 pairs because shoes.






I felt like I was on the Titanic because of the wooden boards and the railing. I didn't think I was going to die, though. 



 People fish off the ledges. Fett said he never heard of anyone catching anything? But it sounds... fun. I guess


 And he goes there all the time, so this was like... nothing to him.



 LOOK AT THAT BIRD. 
LOOK AT IT.
IT'S SO CUTE



It was really cold out. But so worth it, and I didn't wanna leave. We went on the swings, and he did this weird manly thing on these hanging monkey bar ring things that you're supposed to swing across. I would've tried it myself, but the only thing stopping me you guys... the only thing stopping me... was everything ever.

On our way home we found the place that he wanted to show me!


The Hollywood Tower! It's what the ride in California Adventure is based off of. Best ride ever omg. Just wish it was longer, but it rules. IT RULES.
Yeah, never knew that was there either.

Also.


Raccoons are massive? They're like... tiny cat bears. I wanted to throw myself out of the car and stampede over there to lift them up and kiss them and love them, but I'd probably die of rabies in a week. =\
 And I can't be dead because... you guise...
We were supposed to go to a Halloween party at our co-workers place, but something came up.


I went back to Halloween Horror Nights. And how could that work if I'm deathly ill? It just couldn't.
This time I was by my lonesome. Lauren had plans and it was kind of an impromptu thing. Again. I found the price for that day to be significantly cheaper, so I said fuck it. If you're smiling while reading this you can just shush.


I tried to take more pictures and capture video footage-- which I did. 
This particular evening consisted of one maze attraction (Terror Tram), and basically playing Hide and Seek, with Peek-a-Boo sprinkled on top.

It was the best Halloween I've had in a really, really, really long time.



The one in the plaid was the sneaky one I mentioned in my last post. 
He was the first to spot me. Recognized me immediately and we had this moment of LOLWHY. He stared at me and nodded his head, eerily inching forward. 
Sneaky is very good at being creepy.
Which was later confirmed as he thrust his chainsaw at me; "WHY ARE YOU HERE AGAIN"
in this really angry, anguished, growling, man voice. Like something you'd hear in like... an FPS.


So just to get it out of the way for my readers... was there a flower?


Yes.
Mr Flower, true to form, picked me another flower and startled the crap out of me again.
I was sitting on a ledge by the sign with the wait times. He crept up behind me and loomed over me. Then jumped down and put the flower in my hair. 
 
There's a fog machine that would go off every couple of minutes that was blinding. I imagine that's what a smoke bomb does. All you see is nothing at all, except for white smoke, even at night. Couldn't see jack shit even inches in front of me.
He stood there all scary like. Towering over me still, even though I'm sitting on this like 4 foot ledge. In this really dense fucking fog, enveloping us. With people everywhere.
YOU GUISE. 
It was intense. He was this close to me. 
He could kill me in one punch.


In my last post I mentioned how there was something about tall, masked men that can kill me with a backhand that do cute things like get you flowers and make you breakfast that is just...mmpf? 

http://www.an-c.dk/vendetta/apronandschool/apron03.jpg 
I mean look at him. Are you in love? I am. His hands are kinda fucked up but I bet those eggs are AMAZING.

Okay well. Mr. Flower .... did the cutest fucking thing, lol, and I just... I can't.






My heart.
Just.
It was over there. and there.
and over there.


See, I warned you.

Back to more pictures!




The one in the middle, to Mr. Flowers' left, I later was approached by on one of his breaks. 
He's a sweetie! Very silly guy. He also got me flowers, but they didn't have petals, LOL.




Sneaky, being a little sneaky sneak as she was questioned by the politician.

I walked through the other scarezones there. The Chucky one and the Klownz one. 
Someone in Chucky's zone recognized me. It was a different Charles Lee Ray this time, though. 
He got a nice little startled squee out of me.




Chucky! 
What a charmer. 






He also made it a point to terrorize me appropriately.
Those chainsaws are furious vibrators. 
He inched it toward my thigh until it ever so slightly nudged me and AGH.
Jeez.
Feels cool on your sides though :P


 ^_^

I think it's safe to say at this point we were playing peek a boo all evening.





The ladies in the gowns were also really great. 
There was one in particular who I liked most. The blonde one with wavy hair. 
She got me a couple times, and was so cute when she giggled behind her mask! hehe



I walked around the area all night basically.

At one point while I sat down at the tables to eat my turkey leg (duh) Silly, Mr. Flower, and I think one other chainsaw guy come over to my table. It draws attention from the people that were there eating their meals, and I start blushing furiously and put my head down. They start pulling my chair out and inching my tray and bag away from me, slowly. It was fun, but also nerve wracking lol. Mr. Flower pulled my chair out a ways a way lol. And their chainsaws went off, of course.
 It was a spectacle, lol. Fun :)

Then during the Chainsaw Brigade towards the end of the night, I went to get a spot closer to Mr. Flower. He assumed the role of guardian, and came to my 'rescue' when other chainsaw guys came at me. It was super sweet. I enjoyed it tons. He did other little things too, but for the sake of excitement I'll keep that just between him and me.

 
 
 
That steel bench became a horrible, aggressive, vibrator. I still haven't decided if it was hot or not.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Scare Flower

     Let me just flat out say that I have a problem and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Okay you guys. I don't know about you but V's character in the V for Vendetta movie was hot and I don't care who agrees with me. There's this thing I have about taller men in masks that can kill me in one punch. Why? DUNNO.

No clue who they are or what they look like. But when they look super intimidating.... and then do super cute things like make breakfast in an apron for you or bring you flowers... I'm just sayin I fall in love a little bit. WHO DOESN'T?!


Let's begin with how I couldn't sleep for forever last night and so Fett --- wait;


Everyone meet Fett.

--and so Fett and I went for a drive. I've never really gone anywhere just for the sake of sight seeing or scenic stuff. He said he always goes on drives when he can't sleep, so we went! It was perfect because there was no traffic. But I guess there wouldn't be at 2 am. 
I didn't know there were so many pretty scenic areas! Kind of breathtaking!


Breakin' da rules.
Waiting until Sunrise would've taken too long so.




We went all over the place. 
I now know LA traffic's weakness... 3AM on a Monday night.


A few days ago we also went to lunch. 
School stuff, then lunch at a Thai place. I got the burrito because it was the obvious choice. Duh
Has anyone ever seen a pool with a waterfall in person? I thought those were a myth.


That is some straight up Legend shit. It lights up at night and has a heating thing that warms the water. And unicorns come and drink from it and there are sirens that aren't bitches, and water pokemon everywhere, it's ridiculous.



The last few days have been so unreal. I don't think I've ever before bugged my friends or co-workers with such stupid ass stories with such elation. Probably makes me a better story teller though. 



H A L L O W E E N    H O R R O R    N I G H T S
2 0 1 3

Never been.

Lauren heavily suggested we go. She said it was a thing. A serious thing. She also used to work there as a Scare-actor back in 09 and told me a bunch of stories from her experiences there. It sounds awesome. I've been to City Walk, but never in the actual park before. My excitement was that of .... some hilarious analogy I can't come up with yet. 
You guys.

You do not understand. How happy I was. You just don't.
omg.



Okay. So. 
I've never experienced any sort of haunted house attraction thing, or scare thing, ever. Ever. So I didn't know what to expect, and a part of me thought it might be cheesy, at best. 

NOPE. 

We go in, and it looks like your usual busy avenue of shops and lots of people and big statues and stuff, all lit up at night. And then you hear the chainsaws.
And then you hear people screaming and hauling ass in all kinds of directions. And I'm like wtf, why!? And then this freaky looking dude with a mask comes charging at me like he's going to beat my ass and gets REAL close to my face and I lose my shit. It's the most excited I've ever felt! The combination of fear and elation-- together-- at the same time. It's just like AWW SHIT FUUU.... WEEE!! AGAIN AGAIN!!




Lauren was loling the whole time. She knew. I was clueless. She said they pick up on people who are vulnerable to the experience and ... go after them. I can confirm that. And it was awesome. 
Being surrounded by masked guys scaring the shit out of me? HOO LAWD


The first 'scare zone' that we saw was the one with the chainsaw guys (my favorite). They were doing a theme from The Purge. I have nothing to compare it to, so my immediate reaction to it was THIS IS AWESOME. Lauren said that the Klownz theme from last year was better. I believe her. 

The first thing we did once we got in was go to the Terror Tram. 
Now fair warning, I didn't take a lot of pictures. My phone wanted to die early, and it was dark. So expect to be reading a lot. So.

Anywho, the Terror Tram was really fun. It took us down to a back lot where we all got out and went through a Walking Dead themed maze. IT WAS AWESOME. Startled the crap out of me. Not gonna lie, I loved every second of attention these fictional characters gave me. I JUST WANNA BE STARTLED ALL THE TIME, YOU GUYS.
I never wanted it to end.

We went on the Simpsons ride too. It was one of those screen rides where you're stationary but the car moves around all crazy like, as if you're in the actual thing. It's great. 
The lines weren't horrible either because it was a Thursday night, and we went early enough to get in by the time the gates opened. We also went on El Cucuy. Another maze-- but themed after a Mexican version of the Boogeyman. Creepy shit. I loved it! Because.. you know. Burritos and such.

The transformers ride was awesome. One of my favs. It was another one of those screen rides, but was super awesome well done. Loooooves!


And then there was the Universal Monster remix ride which was cute. It was scary, but they had a DJ and a GoGo dancer in Frankenstein's room playing Dubstep so..... it didn't have the longest line.


We also went to see Chucky! He's an insult comic, just like the Friendly Stranger politician guy at the Purge scare zone. I loved it, lol. He told me to stop using Cool Aid on my hair :P

I'll have to consider this.




There were props from movies everrryyywhere. This one from The Thing. 

We went on the Mummy, which was fun, and pretty! And and and... I don't remember what else. I just know it was fun.



We kept going back to the main scare zone because where the Politician was staged... above him was an arch with flamethrowers. The night was chilly, and I was dumb and didn't bring a jacket. Warmth is good. Fire good. Also... the chainsaw guys. 

There was one point where the Politician had a bunch of the chainsaw guys come over to him and pick people out to come forward and question us. One of the chainsaw guys came over to Lauren and me and I didn't get it at first because he was signaling all weird like... but Lauren said he wanted me to step forward. 

Imagine my brain freaking out.

So I did. He asked me questions and gauged how useful I would be to society and whether I should just get killed or not :P
I went back to where I was standing. There was a huge crowd around him. 
Then a bunch of the chainsaw guys surrounded Lauren and me and started making motions at my face, trying to smudge my eyebrows. One in particular that stood out to me most held a fascination with me. He made it a point to make sure I knew he knew that I'm a noob.

At one point we went to the nearby stand to get hot chocolate and coffee to keep warm. They followed us there, teasingly motioning at my face and roaring their chainsaws up and down our frames and around our feet. Fucking intimidating as shit to me! lol
Lauren was enjoying the whole thing. I was enjoying it, but also was nervous. But also enjoyed it? lol
The chainsaw guy that stood out to me was super tall and would sometimes come up behind me and stick his hand in my face. Startled me every time. While we were at the stand.. he dissapeared for a second while his buddies were around us, then came back-- startling me again-- and handed me a flower. We bonded over our dreadlocks. Except his dreadlocks only made him look even more intimidating.



Source: jedimatt.smugmug.com


The fact that he ran away to get me a flower was the cutest fucking thing and my heart just melted and lol'd. Because he's this huge scary dude... that picked a flower. I dunno. Whatever. It was cute. 

He's sort of my favorite chainsaw guy ever.
There was this other one that was really sneaky. The way they stare at you dead in the face is really.... really.... just... uncomfortable. At least to me it is. You don't know what they look like! And the masks look creepy. So like... you don't know what they're thinking... and then they catch you in a gaze. I dunno. ANYWAY. 

We had din din. Lauren was telling me that her friend might be there too, but we didn't get to run into him, if he even was. BUT she did introduce me to the guy who runs the event, who was super nice. 


The night went on quickly, and I loved every moment the chainsaw guys shared with us. 
Before the event closed at 2AM, Lauren said that there was a thing that happens a quarter til that I may enjoy; the Chainsaw Brigade.
It's basically when all the chainsaw guys and government personel march down the main avenue and halt in a formation of 3 long rows. There's a commander at the front. And they all just stand there, all creepy like, as people weave through them on their way out of the park.

Lauren walked us over to the perfect spot to watch, just in front of one of the gift shops. 
By this time, my phone was long dead and I was sorry that I couldn't capture it. But someone else did.

At the commander's signal the chainsaw guys start up their saws and run rampant, charging people in all their overpowering and intimidating glory. I fucking loved it. So. Much. You guys.

My favorite chainsaw guy would run around us, and sneak up on me again and again and again.
There was a woman behind us in particular on the bench that was just started shitless. They circled her, and towered over her, lunging their saws at her and flailing wildly. She would shriek and cry out and curl up in response--- it was definitely a sight to see. They kept doing that to her and we would watch and laugh, lol.




Here's a video someone took showing exactly what happens during the Chainsaw Brigade. Consequentially, it features Mr. Flower. :)
He pops up at around 58 seconds, and can see much of him for the majority of the video. He really goes all out, and that's one of the reasons I liked him so much! It's so fun!! The cutest part is when he headbangs. He did that a lot. People are like wtf is this crazy fucker doing at me??

During the Chainsaw event... he startled me one last time, in the fashion that he adopted, and gave me another flower before they all round up again in formation, and marched back into the park. 



We left the park in higher spirits, and very sore from a long evening of walking. But we had turkey leg, and got scared many times, and enjoyed the warmth of the flamethowers in great company.

It was such an awesome evening, that we went back. LOL.

The last time we went (Thursday) we went on basically all of the rides save for 3 of the mazes that had ginormous lines; Walking Dead, Insidious, and Black Sabbath. Those were our first priorities as soon as we got into the park. 




We arrived a little earlier this time. It was still super crowded busy. This was Sunday night.






My Madoka bag got the attention of two Madoka Magica fans while we were there. They were very glad to hear that Kyoko's voice actress was there, too. It was great seeing their reactions! :D



The mazes we were after were at the back lots. We walked by the movie lots, which were massive. Kind of amazed. Not gonna lie. 

The Walking Dead maze was my favorite out of the 3. You could tell they put a lot into it.








This was outside the maze, while waiting in line. 



This is the most I could capture inside. It was really dark!

We went to Insidious before this one, which was really cool. It's the longest one there. Creepy shit. Then after TWD we headed over to Black Sabbath 3D. It was all neon and day glow and creepy and stuff. Looks cool with the 3D glasses they give you. I also saw a former co-worker while waiting in line. 

Afterwards we went to get dinner and sat out by the main scare zone. I was hoping to see Mr. Flower again, not gonna lie. He wasn't around, but his friends from the other night were. They recognized us. :)

Lauren had a friend that she was going to meet with that works there at the park. Her friend was bringing her mother along to show her the attractions. So once we filled our bellies we walked over to the nearby El Cucuy maze and waited for them to arrive. Fortunately we were able to get ahead of the line and go right in. I felt bad, but... it does beat waiting in line =\

The best part was the end. It was a big group of us, and one of the women in the group was behind me. She was SO SCARED. She grabbed me as she shrieked her brains out going through one of the rooms. I could only laugh and tell her it was okay, lol. As we were headed out towards the exit, little did we know there was a Klown there, ready to startle us shitless. 

HE DID.
And the woman behind me LOST IT. It was the funniest fucking thing ever. And.
The Klownz were walking around aimlessly, scaring people. But there were so many people walking around that you didn't notice some of them until they were RIGHT. THERE. staring at you.
She was a prime target, poor thing. 
We watched the other guests exiting El Cucuy out into the street, silently cheering on the Klown biding his time with his scare tools. It was awesome. At one point a 'brother' comes out and exclaims "OH SHIT" as the Klown's timing nails it perfectly, and hauls ass across the zone to the other side. Lauren and I laughing hysterically at his misfortune. We parted ways with the group shortly thereafter, and headed to go watch Chucky's insult comedy act again. He wasn't on at that point, but one of the scareactors walking around in that zone creepin on us discreetly whispered to us that he'd be on in half an hour. We thanked him and headed over to the main scare zone with the Politician and the flamethrowers.

This was my attempt at getting a picture with him.


There are two politicians that rotate turns.
When this one comes out, I feel like he draws a crowd more. 
So he was there, and more people came over, and more chainsaw guys started showing up.

Lauren and I kept out eye out for Mr. Flower. 
No luck.
Then... 
At the other side of the arch, behind his stage, I thought I saw him walking around but I wasn't sure if it was him or not. 
I remember a chainsaw guy walking by over there, glancing in our direction, pausing, staring, then stalking away. I think that was him. It was cute the way he did it, so it probably was.

shortly after

a gloved hand was popped in front of my face from above. 
Startled me into a squeee. I didn't move, and excitedly looked directly up, hoping, to see his masked face staring down at me all creepy like, dreadlocks dangling a few inches away from my face.


:)

I turned around and hugged him! hahaha
Hopefully that doesn't get him in trouble, as you're not supposed to touch them, or them touch you. 
But I was so excited to see him again and coupled with the fact that he remembered me, and picked another flower for me... YOU GUYS. How could I not? 

We hung out there for a bit until it was time to go see Chucky. When he walked by us again, we looked to him and said we'd be right back. He stared intently and nodded an "okay" before we left. 
^_______________^


Chucky was awesome. 
Picked on us again, and many other people. Apparently at one point they had to put a stop to him because people complained that he had gone too far. But they brought him back! I can see why some people would get offended. But... that's what he does! WTF did you expect? 
The Politician does the same thing. I couldn't believe some of the things he was saying, but it was pretty awesome. The Chucky audience had a really good attitude about it for the most part. 
The way he talks about Tiffany is kind of cute. Kind of. 

We went back to the main scare zone and stood by the flame thrower some more. Mr. Flower showed up again, lunging himself in front of me while another chainsaw guy was circling us. ^__^
He's so taaaaalll, lol I love it. Looking up at him was super intimidating. Kind of like when I looked up at Jack and just ... blacked out. In my mind. 

We walked around some more and got on the Simpsons ride again, and the Transformers ride too! It was colder that night than on Thursday night, so we hung around the Flamethrower a little more this time around. When 1AM hit we were trying to see what other attraction we could do before the brigade started, but the lines were soooo long. We weren't sure if we would be back in time. The shortest line was El Cucuy. So we decided to give it a go. It was 1:43 by the time we got close to the entrance of the actual maze, and Lauren said the brigade would start before we got out. So we split the line and started making our way over there. She was right. They were marching behind us getting ready to get into position! Looking back at them as we walked to our spot was neat. Imagine this formation of dudes with chainsaws walking behind you slowly getting faster in pace. Soooooo fun! 

And then the brigade started again. 

Mr. Flowers again made it a point to visit as much as he could, while still terrorizing the other guests. It was awesome. The other sneaky one kept scoring scare points. They're really good... you have to wonder how long they've been doing this. I'd look in one direction for like... 5 seconds... then turn my head and BOOM. They're standing there with their face like 2 inches away, or their chainsaw is in your face. Or they charge you. Or idek. But it's great. 
Before the last round up for them to march back, Mr. Flower charged at me and motioned his hand toward my face as if going to touch me, and did that creepy intimidating stare thing. All I could do was smile up at him. 




I didn't capture this image or the others of Mr. Flower. Just found them by browsing the good ol internets! 

They were definitely my favorite part. And I want to thank Lauren for suggesting we come here. I am now a fan of Halloween Horror Nights. I think I even prefer this to Disneyland's Halloween Town thing :P
There's only one more weekend left for HHN. I wish I could go, but ... these events are not free! haha
Extra money made it possible for that impromptu second visit, but no more, sadly. I will miss Mr. Flower and his kitty-stalky like ways of approaching and startling me. 
I wish I could've gotten a picture with him, only my phone was long dead. 

But there's always next year! 


To top things off, the Vault Boy commission I did for my boss's wife was posted on Reddit, which led some people to me asking about order one for themselves. 

It's time I start enjoying life to the fullest, finally! And I am ^_^
The ending of the year has been so incredible. With the exception of the not-so-good news from home (which I'm sure will be just fine-- it has to be), I couldn't ask for more. I am blessed, and thankful, and fortunate, and just... yay. Yay! :)