Light

  The most wonderful thing about exploring at night, to me, is how brightly the streetlamps glow; the reflection of the moon on the store windows, the shiny pavement, on the cars. The way the stars light up the blackest skies from millions of miles away-- in the pitch black of spaces' vacuum, they glow like bright ass motherfuckers. It's dope.


In my own darkest times, I also find lights that make themselves glow-- even brighter than before-- to make sure I don't lose my way. Even when they're further away... I see them. Glowing in the distance. Letting me know they're still there.
Admittedly, there have been some lights that I followed, that suddenly burn out. I could sit here for hours wracking my brain about why it was ever dimming to begin with. Or why I chose to follow it. But that doesn't do me much good now, does it?

It's been a challenging month. I've experienced one of the most convoluted experiences in my life, in addition to the ever present situation with my mom.

Today marks her 1 year anniversary since it all happened.
Tomorrow is her birthday.
They finally came for her. She told me they would, just didn't know when. They finally did, last night. No one knows what I'm talking about but... it's not a phone call you'd want to wake up to.

With the challenges I've faced, I think it's safe to say that the only thing I can do now is remember the good, and be grateful for the lights who so brightly shine for me in my darkest moments. And I so am.


W O N D E R C O N 
     this year proved to be one of my most emotionally taxing cons. But I made it :)


I didn't take a crap ton of pictures like I normally do, there was a lot going on in my head, but please enjoy what I did get ^_^

Friday:

 I want one T___T

 Brittany, Stacey, and Matt. 

The best Belcher kids ever.

I forget how many Wondercons ago I first saw them at, but they're keeping the Belcher tradition alive, and that's just fucking wonderful lol.

Brittany went hard and went as the hero we all need.

And grabbed Jimmy Junior's butt and changed the world.

 While wandering around, this really sweet girl stopped me for a selfie. She really like how I was dressed and we chatted for a little bit. She was really really cute. I wish I hadn't lost her info! I took it down and couldn't remember where I put it because I'm a piece of shit :(

If this ever reaches you, THANK YOU! You're a doll and you looked amazing!

 Cammmmiiiieeeeee

The bestest Buffy monster everrrrrr

 

He plays one of the Gentlemen, in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode called "Hush"

so creeeppppy!!! IT'S AWESOME

 cute widdle desert baby

 Briefly hung out with my friend Thuan as well

After the con on Friday, I was determined to watch Ghost in the Shell.
It had come out Thursday, and... I just needed to see it.
SO.

 :D

We give it a solid 7 out of 10.

It was slow to start, not gonna lie. But everything started coming together later on.

There were some gaps and some things that were like.... kinda cringey, but they worked with what they had and I enjoyed it. 

After the movie, we met up with some clicky poops.

clicky poops; another term for photographers

Aknishi_photography, Dappergeeknews, Novicesnapshots (BUT NOT SO NOVICE AYYYYYEE)

 And of course, Topher, aka butthole and/or clicky poop.

The buffalo must flow

That evening, I wasn't even going to go on Saturday because I only had badges for Friday and Sunday. Which, by that point, I was totally fine with. 

But Mr. Aknishi, AKA ALEX THE DOPEST SUSHI CHEF AND SWEETEST DUDE EVER, was like... 

 

yo, I have a cousin who gave me 3 passes for the weekend. You're welcome to one. 

 

And I was like 

 

OH QURL. YOU AN ANGEL.

He hooked me up. Thanks dude. For realsies, super appreciate it. Ya blessed me. Ya done did it. LIKE THE ANGEL THAT YOU ARE. okay. lol.


Saturday:
 I had to go through the registration thing again. Which was fine. Cuz I had a 3 day passs aaayyyee
    This is dumb, but I have this Guild Wars necromancer standee in my room that I've had for YEARS, and all of my con badges are around her neck. It's like... my pride and joy lol. And, not gonna lie, this year for the simple fact that I didn't acquire a 3 day badge with my name on it kinda bummed me out lol. IT DID. I'm sorry, it did. So, not only did Alex hook me up with that, and that's so awesome, but he like... doesn't know how special the badge is to me lol.


This year, they were being very strict with access to even just the front fountain area. Everything was gated off, and you couldn't come in unless you had a badge.

THE SECRET to get past it is............
"I'm here to pick up my badge?"
They'll let you right through. But you can't leave. You can't get inside, but you can ghost around the front, and maybe even sneak in with a big enough crowd. Risky, but yeah. 

 So dope.

 ACQUIRED! 

I brought my own lanyard because I'm a dick like that.

So while I was walking around in the exhibit hall, I ran into my old coworker from North Hollywood! 

Heather!

We have this inside joke about the movie Heathers. I'm Veronica, he's one of the Heathers. lol He saw me and went "VERONICA CINNNYYYYYY!!" and I was like OMG HEATHYYYYY it was the most obnoxious thing you ever saw. 


AAAAND also ran into HFB! Who has been featured here many-a-time before. He hates selfies :D
I made him get a Disney pass because I'm a good friend.

 Pouty butt.

 He wouldn't hold still

 I miss that fool.

That morning I was trying to find Topher amongst the masses

But found tranquility instead

 Squeeeeeee!!!! ^_^

Mr Cage is just a big ol' softie and I wub him so so so so much!

Found a Topher.

 He always looks so happy to be around me :D

LUHLUHLUHLUHLEEHHHHHNNNGGGGGG

He had a shoot, so I booped away to go walk around annnnd of course run into peoples!

 Hi, Mr. Flower :)

(props if you know the history behind that name lol, you're awesome for reading my blog for that long lol)

 Doge in all of his glory lol. He looked amazing!

 Thank you again for the badge, mang :D

 After the con, a lot happened. I'm trying to remember everything in order, lol. But we went to get food first.

Topher stole my phone again.

Thanks.

We went from one hotel to another. I'm actually pretty surprised I didn't get photos from the first hotel. That's where I met a bunch of dope people who I very recently been kickin it with.  

Anywho, I was drunk. And didn't wanna think about much stuff.

But I surprised myself with how well I handled it.

Not to mention, I had to be drunk mom because.... that's just what you do when the occasion calls for it.

Topher and I didn't get home until 6 the next morning.
I learned a lot that night. And I don't regret a single moment of it whatsoever.

Sunday:

Met up with the clicky poops.

I love you.

 I have no words lol.

Favorite.

I ran into my friend while there. He was roaming around, and I was surprised he actually had a badge lol. 

It was cool because people were staring at him instead of me and I'm so okay with that lol

 The loot

I had money burning a hole in my pockets but didn't really see much that I wanted. Then again, I didn't really look, either. But I'm pretty pleased with these purchases lol. 

Especially since my other Fallout shirt went missing somehow =\

So around 6 or 7ish, we all met up and headed to the Toy Story parking lot.

I found a car that needed healing.

From there, we took the tram and made our way to Disney California Adventure for a proper send off

It was an awesome, amazing night.
We had good food, good drinks, good company, and each other that weekend. It was perfect. Despite what was going on inside my head, that evening helped a lot :)

Wondercon was bittersweet this year, but I don't regret any of it.
People have shown their true colors, and continue to do so.

That evening I wasn't alone, and it was a nice change from the vibe I'd been getting the whole week.

The cherry on top was being able to see Oppa again!
It'd been a little bit, and he knew I've been down. So he had us meet at this dipping ramen place. My first time trying it!

Was really good.
Aaaaannnnndddd without my saying a word, he knew I wanted dessert ^_^
heeeeeeeeee

^____________________^

Thank you Oppa, for being my oppa.
You're so dumb lol


A couple days later, I met up with Topher for noms and beer.
Poutine, to be exact! He remembered that I've been wanting to try it, and there's this place at the packing house that serves it. So he took us there and it was so yummyyy!

Of course he brought his switch.

Tipsy fun was had. Too much, probably, lol. 

Or idek if we were tipsy or just having a lot of fun either way...

it was fun lol.

Good times ^_^

So I think Saturday? Or Sunday? Can't remember, last weekend, after Topher was done shooting, I went up to meet him downtown. From there we met up with MediumBlast, aka omg he won't stop dabbing. Or just Jay. Not the other Jay that does the finger thing on his nose. This is the Jay that has uncontrollable dab clicks. Rae was there too!

We met them up at Shin-Sen-Gumi

op.

there it is.

The man is a battery

with an endless charge of weebiness, dabbing, and whipping

He even busted out Shinseiki on his phone, and I think we all just seizured because it was too much

Good food. Good company. Good vibes.

My past experiences with Shin-Sen-Gumi were AIGHT.

But... it was good. Like, I really liked it. 

Maybe it was the location. Little Tokyo does it right ;D

So once we were finished with dinner, they went home and Topher and I roamed around a little.
WE GOT BOBA ^_^

I'M TELLING YOU. I'M WEAK FOR RAMEN AND BOBA.
 It's ritualistic now. I can't help it. It's just the way it is.
When we go get ramen, just embrace it. Don't fight it.

Oh, so.... we had to take pictures in the tunnel.
But then we saw this CALPICO BOTTLE JUST CHILLIN THERE
LOOKIN WEEB AF.

 He blessed it.

It was glorious.
We split, and watched this weird show about these 2 friends who send their idiot friend to different countries around the world, and everything makes him anxious. So of course they send him to visit like, tribes in the amazon lol. so weird.
We passed out around 2am. WHAT A NIGHT

Things have been really taxing me lately, but I can't thank my friends enough who have come to my aid, and just have been there for me. Listened to me or gave me advice, thank you so much.
The adventures are far from over, But this post has gotten long enough, I think. I'll leave the rest for maybe tomorrow? We'll see.

I'm a lot better now. A LOT better. It's one of those things were you hit such a low point with yourself, and you're like "how can this possibly happen. This is fucking shitty," right? But suddenly, out of nowhere, things turn around. And a lot of that strength came from the most unexpected sources. Life is full of surprises!

It's way later than I thought this post would be up by.
Which means it's now my mom's birthday.
I wonder, what would my mom say about everything that's happened? She wouldn't be very happy, that's for sure. But, she didn't raise no lil bitch lol! So I won't let her down. I can sleep at night, my conscious is clear, I did all I could to do right by people, and now... whatever happens, happens.
She and I made a pact. We're going to drive across the country together, just her and me. We're going to stop everywhere and experience all that we can together. Mother and daughter. I promised her. It's going to happen.

Alright, I leave you now with only this 

 

Thinking of you on your birthday, mama.